Authors: Iris Johansen
“Thinking,” she repeated. “You said decision. You know I won't have an abortion. I couldn't do that.”
“That's not what I meant. You told me once that you'd intended to adopt Bonnie out to a good home before she was born. Then, when you saw her, you changed your mind.”
Eve stared at him in shock. “You'd consent to me doing that?”
“I have no idea. I doubt it. Every instinct is shouting no, but I just had to bring it up because you'd once considered it. You were a teenager then, poor, virtually alone, and Bonnie was illegitimate. Now you're older, but you have a career that obsesses you, and family would get in the way.” He met her gaze. “Whatever your decision, it has to be made with your whole heart. After that, we'll work out what we need to do individually to meet both our own goals. We'll find a way to blend them together.”
“Joe⦔
“Hush.” He squeezed her hand before releasing it. “I'm going to go and see about your release papers. You rest awhile, then I'll send Margaret in to help you dress.” He paused. “Do you want me to tell her?”
She shook her head. “It's not real to me yet. How can I make it real to anyone else?”
“What about Cara? Do you still want to take her into our home for a while?”
“Of course I do. What are we supposed to do? Let her go back to Mexico and be torn apart in all those cartel wars? She's just a child, and she's already lost her sister and Elena, her best friend. You know that Salazar won't stop hunting her because Walsh is dead. We've got to keep her safe until we can find a way to get rid of Salazar.”
“And Juan Castino, her loving father,” Joe said grimly. “You're right, she's a pawn. She wouldn't stand a chance if immigration sends her back to Mexico.” He turned toward the door. “I just thought that you might want me to handle it myself. You may be a little busy for a while.”
“I believe the word is occupied,” Eve said dryly.
“Whatever.” He glanced back at her. “I wasn't sure that you'd be prepared for the hassle. We're going to have to whisk Cara away from here, keep her real identity from the authorities, and get her to Atlanta. Then I'll get to work on bringing down Salazar's cartel. That should keep him too busy to pay attention to Cara in the near future.”
“I agree. But most of those arrangements are in your court.”
“It will overflow.”
She nodded. “Then I'll face it then.” She smiled. “And a challenge will be good for me. It will keep me from ⦠It will distract me.”
“I doubt it.”
The next moment, he was gone.
He was probably right, she thought. Nothing was going to distract her from this news that had shaken her world. But she had always found that hard work and putting her own problems at the end of the agenda could be a salvation.
But did she need salvation? Why had the word even occurred to her?
All she needed was to adjust to a situation that happened to millions of women every year.
So adjust.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the pillow. Sort out what she really felt and examine it.
Shock.
A natural reaction.
Disbelief.
Also natural.
Fear.
A pregnancy was never easy when you were older.
Of course, there was an element ofâ
No, don't hide behind that easy answer. There was something else behind it.
Bonnie. Her little girl who had been her entire life during those seven short years before her death. Bonnie. The pain and agony that had almost killed Eve after she'd been taken.
The fear that agony could come back if she allowed herself to love another baby as she had Bonnie. She dearly loved her adopted daughter, Jane, but that was another relationship entirely. Jane had been ten when they'd found each other, and with a maturity that had made them more best friends than mother and daughter. So different from Bonnie. She had been responsible for her from the instant of her birth, and she had lost her. Could she bear the constant worry that another child would be taken from her?
Coward. She was a coward. Mothers faced that threat every single day.
Did you know what a coward I am, Joe? Is that why you never asked?
Well, there was no asking now. It was a fact. Stunning. Life-changing. Inevitable.
Magical.
The word had come out of nowhere.
Because that was the final emotion she had felt when Joe had told her she was going to have a child.
Magic. Joyous, rich, heady, magic.
She slowly looked down at her abdomen. Flat. No sign that someone was growing, taking on more life with every second. She reached out tentatively and touched the skin of her stomach.
What's happening? It's a crazy world out here, are you sure you want to trust me to take you through it?
Was she expecting an answer from this baby, who had just barely been conceived? Of course not, the question was really for herself. She had lost Bonnie. She would have to do better to prove herself to this child.
Her hand dropped away from her abdomen.
Later. We'll have to work on this. We're just starting out. We have a long way to go.
She sat up in bed and swung her legs to the floor. Time to start living life and not trying to avoid it. She went to the closet and started to take down her clothes.
“Hey, I'm supposed to do all that.” Margaret had come into the room. “Joe said I should give you a little while to rest, and here you are ready to jump into your clothes.”
Eve smiled affectionately at her. Margaret had been a tower of strength during the last days when they had been hunting for Cara, then Eve's time in the hospital. But then Margaret had shown remarkable strength from the moment Eve had met her. She was young and full of life and possessed instincts and a knowledge of animals that was as unusual as her ability to deal with people.
“I want to get out of here.” Eve headed for the bathroom. “And I've done nothing but rest since I got here. I had a mild concussion, and Joe insisted on having those doctors run every test under the sun to make sure I was okay.”
“Typical Joe Quinn,” Margaret said. “He was a trifle ⦠brief when he was talking to me. Is everything okay?”
“Everything's fine.”
“Then you might tell Cara. She's not too sure.”
Eve stopped at the bathroom door. “She thinks I'm abandoning her?”
“No, it's not gotten that far yet. But who could blame her? She doesn't really know any of us. She's known since she was three years old and her sister, Jenny, was killed almost in front of her eyes, that she had to run and keep on running just to stay alive. Her nurse, Elena, taught her she mustn't trust anyone.” She added grimly, “And with good reason. Elena died trying to protect her. Now Cara is alone, and she's trying to come to terms with taking care of herself.” She shrugged. “Though she seems more concerned with taking care of you. Do you know she dreams about Jenny?”
“Yes.”
“And she told me she thinks you dream about her, too. Do you?”
“Not exactly.”
Margaret gazed at her, waiting. When Eve didn't go on, she said, “Okay, you don't want to talk about it. I understand. Well, I don't really, but I would if you'd trust me. I thought that those reports from âconfidential sources' you told our Sheriff Nalchek you received were a trifle suspect when we were hunting down Walsh.” She suddenly chuckled. “Though he'd think what I'm guessing now is far more weird than suspect.” She took Eve's suitcase out of the closet. “Go on, get dressed. Call if you need me. I'll pack you up, and we'll be set to go as soon as you're ready.”
“Thanks, Margaret,” Eve said quietly. “Thanks for everything. We would never have found Cara if you hadn't helped. You've been there for me since the beginning of this nightmare.”
“Not quite.” She tilted her head. “And that sounds remarkably like good-bye. Is it?”
“I prefer
au revoir
.” She hesitated. “What Joe and I are doing isn't exactly legal in taking Cara back to Atlanta with us. It's morally right, but you could still get in trouble. You and the Immigration Department aren't on the best of terms.”
“We're fine with each other as long as I'm smart enough to avoid them.”
And Eve knew Margaret had made a science of avoiding them and keeping under the radar. Eve had never been told why Margaret felt that was necessary and could only be grateful that she occasionally dropped into their lives. “And you might be caught in the cross fire if they find out that we're keeping Cara from her legal father.”
“Who is a murderer, drug lord, and general scumbag.”
“Joe and I will be working on clearing up her situation, but it will take time. In the meantime, Salazar will be a danger.”
“Then I should be there toâ”
“No, Margaret,” Eve said firmly. “You have too much to lose. I won't have you stuck in a jail while they decide whether or not to deport you.” She made a face. “Though I don't even know where they'd send you. You haven't been very forthcoming on that score.”
“It's my life, my problems.” Margaret shook her head. “I can't convince you, can I?” She shrugged. “Then I won't try. If you need me, get in touch.” She started packing Eve's bag. “Do you need to know where to get phony documents for Cara? I know a few good places and some people who willâ”
“No,” Eve said. “You're out of this. Joe has managed to block any investigation on Cara's background, but there are still problems. It will be a very tentative fix, but as long as they think Cara is an orphan after the death of her supposed Aunt Elena, we may get away with it. We're hoping that Sheriff Nalchek will smooth things over with Child Services and persuade them to let us have temporary custody. He's well thought of in this area.”
“He'll do it. He's like you. He won't want a child in danger.”
“I believe you're right. We'll have to see. Everything is a little bewildering right now.”
“Eve.” Margaret was studying her face. “You're sure everything is okay? You look a little ⦠unusual.”
“Do I?” Trust Margaret to sense a truth that had only just been revealed to Eve. Unusual? The world was shaking. Everything was changing. She didn't know how she was going to cope. But she would do it.
She had to do it.
She smiled at Margaret. “I'm sure it's
going
to be okay. But you're right, I feel a little unusual. Nothing physical. Just a new challenge on the horizon.”
“Cara?”
“She's definitely a part of it.” She was closing the bathroom door. “I'll be right out, Margaret.”
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Margaret shook her head as she gazed at the closed door. Eve was going to prove obstinate, but that's what she had expected. She had tried to push her away earlier when she had been afraid to involve her beyond what she considered safe. She would have to find a way toâ
Her cell phone rang, and she glanced down at the ID. Kendra Michaels.
It wasn't the first time she had phoned in the past week. Margaret had been too busy to take her calls and had put her off. She was tempted to do that now.
No, Kendra was her friend, and she was the one who had called to ask Margaret to get in touch with Eve when she'd been unable to reach her. She deserved to know what had happened.
“Hello, Kendra. I don't have much time. I have to help get Eve sprung out of this hospital.”
“Hospital? And why is Eve in a hospital? And what the hell is going on?”
“I'm going to tell you. I just have to keep it brief, okay?”
“It's not okay, but I clearly have to put up with it. Eve told me practically nothing when she came out here to California except that she needed someone who was woods savvy and wanted you. Since I'm definitely not woods savvy, I had to find you.”
“You sound distinctly grumpy.”
“I couldn't see why I couldn't help,” she said impatiently. “I still don't. Tell me.”
“Eve came out here because Sheriff Nalchek had discovered the grave of a nine-year-old little girl at Sonderville, California. He sent Eve the skull to reconstruct. She did a great job and FedExed the reconstruction back to him. But the FedEx truck was hijacked, the driver killed, and the reconstruction stolen. Eve's computer and notes were also stolen that same day. Someone had no intention of letting that little girl's identity be discovered.”
“And that pissed Eve off.”
“Big-time. She had become very involved emotionally with that little girl, who she called Jenny, while she was reconstructing her skull. She and Joe Quinn came out here to try to find a clue to who that little girl was.” She added, “And to catch her killer. That's why she wanted me to go to that grave in the forest and see what I could find.”
“And what did you find?”
“Not as much as I would have liked, but I was helpful. Joe and Eve discovered that the name of her killer was James Walsh and started to try to track him. It became very convoluted because Walsh was on the hunt himself. He was an enforcer for a Mexican drug cartel, very nasty character, and had been hired by the head of a rival cartel to kidnap and kill Juan Castino's two daughters. They were supposed to just disappear, but something happened. The older girl was killed, but the younger child, Cara, and Elena, the nurse who cared for the girls, escaped. Walsh searched for them for years.”
“Bastard.”
“Oh, yes. It was a very bloody hunt. But we managed to find Cara almost at the same time as Walsh.”
“Tell me he's dead.”
“Yes, a very painful demise. Eve has only a minor concussion.”
“And the child?”
“Cara is alive, but there are still problems. Eve is sure she can work them out.”
“And are you sure?”