Highland Angels (Fated Hearts Book 3) (17 page)

She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Nay, it isn’t a terrible fate and I certainly don’t hate ye.”

“Good, because I find I quite like ye.” He let go of her mount and started moving again. “It’s my turn for a question. What’s yer favorite food?”

She chuckled. “That’s hard, I like to eat. I like quail but I suppose my favorite is lamb.”

He gave a small sigh of relief, having successfully steered her towards safer topics.

When they reached a heath beyond the village, he gave the horses a chance to run. It seemed to delight her. By the time they returned to the keep, her cheeks were flushed and the distressing topics seemed forgotten. He stopped in the bailey, dismounted, and lifted her from her mount.

“It’s turned a bit chilly. Go inside now and warm yerself. I’ll see to the horses.” But even as he bid her leave, he couldn’t take his hands off her waist.

“Thank ye, Andrew. I enjoyed the ride.”

He smiled down at her. “I did too.” Staring into her eyes, he was surprised to see…was it longing? Or was he simply seeing his own longing reflected there. It was something he hadn’t felt in years. He couldn’t deny that right now he longed to take her in his arms and kiss her.

Her voice broke through his desire. “I, uh…I should probably…well it is a bit chilly.” She seemed as befuddled by his nearness as he was by hers—and that pleased him.

“Aye, ye probably should.” His lips brushed her cheek and he let go of her, stepping aside so she could enter the keep. “I’ll see ye at the evening meal, angel.”

~ * ~

Andrew had expected Ena and her family to arrive well in advance of the wedding but was shocked when, while he tended their horses, the watch announced the arrival of the Sinclairs. Joan’s parents were nearly a fortnight early.

He finished caring for the beasts before joining his father in the courtyard a few minutes before the visitors reached the gate. “Da, did ye know about this?”

“Aye, I invited them.”

“I knew ye’d invited them to the wedding, but did ye know they were coming so soon?”

“Aye, son. I wasn’t certain of the exact day but I thought they might like to spend a bit of time with Davy before the wedding. It’ll be so hectic after the other clans begin to arrive.”

Andrew frowned. “Ye could have warned me.”

His father raised his brow. “Warned ye? Why on earth would ye need a warning? They’re Davy’s grandparents. Do ye begrudge them a visit?”

Andrew shook his head. “Nay, Da.” His father was right. Davy’s grandparents saw him so rarely, Andrew knew his son would be thrilled. How could he explain to his father that the Sinclairs were just another painful reminder of the love he had lost?

Moments later, Anna hurried out of the keep with Davy at her side. “I’m sorry, Andrew, I would have brought Davy down sooner, but he was a bit of a mess after fishing with his uncles. I wanted him to clean up a bit before greeting his grandparents.”

Dear God
. Andrew didn’t want Anna here. He wasn’t sure how the Sinclairs would react to her…or how he would react to the Sinclairs. “Ye needn’t have worried. In fact, ye’re probably still chilled from the ride. Ye can go back inside where it’s warm if ye wish. Da and I can handle this.”

Anna smiled, but canted her head, looking a bit confused. “I fetched my mantel before coming out. I don’t mind greeting our wedding guests, and I’d like to meet them. The MacKays had no feud with the Sinclairs but they weren’t allies. Besides, once we heard they were arriving, Davy insisted that I come down with him.”

Her presence here was perfectly reasonable. Still Andrew would have suggested again that she return to the keep, except the Sinclairs were already riding through the gates. Their sons Eller and Nivan accompanied them. Thankfully, their daughter Annice had not joined them. She was expecting a child soon and while Andrew hadn’t seen her since Joan’s funeral, again he feared the resemblance between them would stir unwelcome memories.

His father called, “Ranulf, Lara, welcome to Curacridhe.”

As soon as Ranulf Sinclair had lifted his wife off her horse, before Andrew or Dougal could say anything, Davy ran to her. She crouched down and caught him in her arms.

To his shock, Andrew didn’t feel the searing pain he expected. Aye, there was an undeniable ache and a warm memory, but nothing more.

“Granma, Granda, I want ye to meet my angel, who’s going to be my new mama.”

Andrew stiffened, worried the Sinclairs might be upset that Anna was replacing Joan in Davy’s life. He didn’t want her hurt.

Anna curtsied. “Good afternoon, my Lady, Laird, I’m pleased to meet ye.

Lady Sinclair rose gracefully and, giving Anna a brilliant smile, opened her arms to her. “My precious lass, we owe ye so much, formality will not do. I’m Lara.”

Anna blushed, as she always did when someone alluded to her having saved Davy, but returned Lara Sinclair’s hug.

When Lara released her, Laird Sinclair took her hands in his and kissed her cheek. “Thank ye seems so very inadequate, but they are the only words I have.”

Andrew gave a small sigh of relief and stepped forward to welcome the Sinclairs. “Davy robbed me of the opportunity to introduce her, but this is Anna MacKay, my betrothed.”

His father introduced Anna to Eller and Nivan as well. Both young men smiled appreciatively at her and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, which somehow irritated Andrew. He should be happy that Joan’s family accepted her without reservation, but their sudden arrival left him feeling uncomfortable.

~ * ~

Anna had ridden back to Curacridhe after spending the afternoon alone with Andrew, with a bit of hope burgeoning once again. Ever since returning from the strait that day, she had seldom experienced more than cool detachment from Andrew. But over the last few days, things seemed to be changing. Perhaps no one would ever be as precious to him as Joan had been, but Anna didn’t think she imagined the warmth and affection that was beginning to grow between them. Maybe she couldn’t expect the extraordinary love Fiona and Eoin had, but it seemed as if there was a bit of room in Andrew’s heart for her.

She hadn’t been in her chamber long when Davy had come rushing in. “Anna, come quick! My grandparents are coming. In fact, they’re almost here. I want ye to meet them.”

When she and Davy joined Andrew and Laird MacLeod in the bailey, Anna had the vague sense that Andrew hadn’t wanted her there.

The Sinclairs had greeted her for the first time with grateful affection as most people who loved Davy did. It always made her a bit uncomfortable. She’d done what had to be done at the time—just as anyone would. Still it was always nice to be met so warmly.

As the visitors were led inside, Anna was a little surprised when Laird Chisholm’s squire all but ran to Lara Sinclair as they entered the keep, giving her a huge hug.

“Aunt Lara, I didn’t know ye were coming so early.”

Lady Sinclair returned his hug. “Tadgh, ‘tis good to see ye lad. My, ye’re very grown now. Do ye like being a squire?”

Anna smiled. She knew the lad was only about ten years old, but he stood a little taller under his aunt’s praise. “Aye, I do.”

Once inside Anna stepped smoothly into the role of hostess, ensuring that the Sinclairs were given comfortable guest chambers and the evening meal was held until they had the opportunity to refresh themselves. As they had not been expected to arrive this evening, she also had a quick chat with Dallis to make her aware of their additional guests.

By the time everything was done and she too had had a moment to freshen up, Anna returned to the great hall. Laird MacLeod was carrying on a lively conversation with Fearghas Chisholm and the newly arrived Sinclairs. Andrew stood to one side, appearing to be listening, but he seemed distracted.

His odd mood continued through dinner. The comfortable rapport that had been developing between them seemed to have fled. Anna tried to ignore it and focus on their guests. Still, she felt a keen disappointment. She feared that the Sinclair’s arrival had brought Joan to the forefront of Andrew’s thoughts, and any growing affection he might have for Anna had been firmly quashed again.

Ena had been thrilled when it appeared Andrew was coming around where his betrothed was concerned. Anna was absolutely lovely, she had every skill necessary to serve as lady of the castle. As soon as she had been allowed to, she seemed to be happier.

Yet after the Sinclairs had arrived the previous evening, Ena once again sensed the underlying sorrow Anna clearly tried to hide.

Had she fooled everyone into believing she had accepted the situation? Ena couldn’t deny the way in which the betrothal came around was unpleasant, to say the least. Still, many noblewomen married strangers and often the only goal for those arranging the union was the political advantage it represented. Did Anna hide her true feelings while only trying to assimilate into the clan because it was expected of her?

Nay. The lass was more open and forthright than any she had ever met.

Ena had also ruled out simple incompatibility as the cause. Anna was open and loving—she seemed to like Andrew. Perhaps it was Andrew who didn’t care for Anna.

Ena chuckled at this thought. Over the last few days, Andrew looked like a man who was clearly smitten. His eyes followed Anna whenever she was in the room. Ena had intentionally kept his betrothed away from him during mealtimes for several days and was thrilled when he put a stop to it.

Things seemed to be improving, until last night. Andrew had become cool and distant even as the spark of joy Ena had begun to see in Anna flickered and died.

Ena could only guess that the Sinclairs’ arrival had stirred up painful memories and Andrew had once again withdrawn.

If that was the case, it had to stop, and Anna herself stood the best chance of accomplishing that, but someone had to encourage her a bit. Ena smiled.

After the morning meal, when the household staff had been set their tasks, Davy was with his grandparents and Ena’s littlest ones, Lara and Rhona were in the care of their nursemaid, Ena said, “Anna, we haven’t decided what ye’ll wear to yer wedding. It’s less than a fortnight away now, let’s go see what we have to work with.”

“I don’t really have much to choose from.” She smiled apologetically. “I have what I was wearing the day I arrived and have made a couple of léines since then.”

“Nay, pet, I didn’t mean to choose from the clothes ye already have. I thought yer options might be limited, so I brought several pieces of beautiful fabric. We’ll be able to make ye something lovely.”

“Ooh, can I help?” asked Mairi.

“Me too?” asked Ena’s oldest, Allison.

Ena smiled. “Of course ye can. Mairi, does Janet’s mother still weave flax?”

“Aye, she does.”

“Excellent. I think Da is in the bailey. Go and ask him to send someone with ye to the village and bring me several lengths of the finest white linen she has.”

Mairi nodded eagerly. “Aye Ena. Do ye need anything else?”

“See if she has any dark green thread and perhaps some gold.”

“I will. Will we come to yer chamber when we get back?”

“Nay, pet, if we aren’t already in Anna’s solar when ye return, we will be soon. Meet us there.”

Mairi grabbed Allison’s hand and practically ran to the door. “Allison, let’s go find my dal. We’ll be back soon,” she called over her shoulder.

Ena smiled. “Ye needn’t rush so. It’s a lovely day. Enjoy the walk.” But the lassies were already out of the hall. She shook her head after them. “That sister of mine. She’s almost fifteen and one minute she’s poised and mature, but then ye blink and the wee lassie comes bubbling up.”

Anna laughed, knowing how very true those words were.

Ena gave an exaggerated sigh. “Ah well, come with me to my chamber and we’ll decide what to use.”

As Anna followed her up the stairs, she asked, “Ena, have I done something wrong?”

Ena laughed. “Goodness, lass, of course not. What would make ye ask that?”

“Well, since ye’ve been here, I’ve noticed if ye make a point of getting someone alone, it’s because ye need to, how is it ye put it?”

“Help them recognize a minor error in judgement?”

Anna laughed. “Aye, that’s it. Since ye sent the lassies away, I thought perhaps ye might be planning to help me
recognize a minor error in judgement
.”

By this time they had reached Ena’s chamber and she ushered Anna in. “Nay, Anna, ye’ve done nothing wrong, but I did want to speak with ye privately.”

“About what?”

Ena considered her for a moment. She probably should make certain that Anna herself was not the problem. “Anna, ye seem very sad and I want to know why.”

Anna looked a bit taken aback. “Ena, I’m not—I mean—there isn’t anything…” As Anna’s voice trailed off, she looked away.

Ena smiled gently at her. “Ye’re unhappy, Anna. Ye try very hard to hide it and ye do rather well most of the time. None of the men seem to notice, eejits that they are, but I do. I thought it was getting better but…well, I know ye’re still sad.”

“I’m just missing my home, I suppose.”

“There’s more to it than that. I thought at first it might be that ye didn’t like Andrew and dreaded marrying him, but I think ye do…like him that is.”

Anna smiled sadly. “I do.”

“So, I figure the problem is that ye believe he doesn’t like ye.”

Anna shook her head. “He doesn’t.”

“Nay, ye’re wrong. He clearly adores ye.”

Anna met her gaze unflinchingly. “Nay, Ena, he doesn’t. It isn’t that he dislikes me. In fact I rather thought he was beginning to enjoy being with me until last night. He changed almost instantly when the Sinclairs arrived. I suppose it’s because he loved Joan so. He’s made it very clear, nearly from the start, he does not wish to love anyone else.”

Ena frowned. “No one’s that stupid. Ye must have misunderstood him.”

Anna gave a chuckle followed by a sigh. “I don’t think so. I believe his exact words were, ‘I can never give my heart to anyone like that again’.”

Ena was dumbstruck. “The roaring arse. Oh, Anna, I’m sorry he said something so hurtful and I’m not sure why he did, but he’s wrong. He may think he can control his heart, but that isn’t possible.”

“But…”

“Nay, I’m right. I know him better than anyone. For some absolutely asinine reason, he may be trying to convince himself that he doesn’t love ye, or can’t love ye because of what he felt for Joan, but I tell ye, he’s wrong. He already loves ye. I know he does. It looks like someone needs to apprise him of his
major
error in judgement immediately.”

“Please don’t.”

“Why? Do ye plan to?”

“Nay, Ena, but—”

“Anna, if ye weren’t his betrothed and ye knew he had spouted such nonsense to the lass he was marrying, what would ye do?”

Anna just shook her head.

“Don’t deny it to me, pet. I know what ye’d do. Ye’d go nose to nose with him.” Ena smiled. “Of course ye’d have to stand on block to reach his nose, but ye wouldn’t let him believe something so ridiculous, for his sake as well as hers.”

“Is it ridiculous? Maybe he can’t love me as he did her.”

Ena huffed, exasperated. “Of course he can’t. He loves ye as he loves
ye
. Anna, love isn’t quantifiable. Just because he loved Joan doesn’t mean he can’t love ye completely and just because he loves ye, it doesn’t mean he didn’t love her completely. It isn’t an issue of more or less.”

Anna canted her head. “But it feels as if he has built a wall to keep me out.”

“Well then, ye shall just have to break that wall down. Ye’ve done it before, but always for someone else.”

“I haven’t—”

“Don’t even try to deny it. I know how ye pushed him about Davy, and ye are relentless with Mairi.”

“Mairi? I haven’t done anything to her.”

“Anna, my da and brothers might be blind but I’m not. I notice what ye do. Ye find ways to mention Tasgall when she’s around. Ye reveal bits and pieces about him, about how kind, and smart, and funny he is. Ye’re wearing her down. Before long, she’ll be starry-eyed about meeting yer ‘brother Tasgall’ instead of dreading the arrival of ‘the MacKay she’s being forced to marry someday’.”

Anna blushed and smiled.

Ena laughed. “I knew ye were doing it with a purpose. So now lass, ye must use yer considerable powers of persuasion on my hard-headed brother.” Before Anna could argue, Ena wielded her most powerful argument. “Can ye do that for him, Anna? Ye gave him back his son. Can ye finish mending his heart and bring him happiness again?”

~ * ~

Finish mending his heart?
Hours later Ena’s words still echoed in Anna’s mind. Could she do that? During the midday meal she sat with him as was normal, but she paid closer attention to him than she ever had. His mask of cool indifference was back in place. It made Anna wonder if his sister had been wrong, but as the meal progressed, it was clear she hadn’t been. His actions and responses were forced, as if he wasn’t allowing himself to become engaged or enjoy anything overmuch. It was exactly how he had behaved around Davy weeks ago.

The meal was over before she could do anything about it. She needed more time with him—alone.

“Andrew, would ye care to go riding again this afternoon?”

“Nay, Anna, there is business I need to attend to.”

“Perhaps just a brief walk then? On the shores of the loch?”

He shook his head. “I really can’t today. Another time perhaps.”

She smiled to herself. It was just as he had been with Davy. She decided not to push today. Gentle persistence was called for. “Aye. Another time. Ena and I were working on my dress for the wedding anyway.”

She kissed his cheek before leaving the table to seek out her sister-in-law. She would try again later.

~ * ~

Andrew stood by the hearth in the great hall, waiting for the evening meal, staring broodingly into the flames, but his eyes were pulled to Anna the instant she entered the room. She had kissed him as she left the table that afternoon. She had never done that. He had kissed her chastely before, on the head, hand or cheek. She had never pulled away from his touch. He smiled to himself; that wasn’t quite true. When she was ill and barely had the strength to move she had tried. And there was the day coming home from the straight when she was hopping mad, but later that same evening she had clung to him as she sobbed.

He liked holding her in his arms.

He liked her kiss.

He imagined how it would feel if she clung to him in passion instead of sorrow.

He had to stop this line of thinking.

After greeting several people, Anna’s eyes found his. Her face lit with a warm, happy smile.

For him.

It nearly took his breath away.

After a moment, she looked away, her attention drawn to Davy, who rushed into the hall followed by his Sinclair uncles. She crouched down, giving him her full attention. The sight of her with Davy had warmed his heart from the moment Andrew had found his son asleep in her arms before she had even recovered from her illness. He could have searched the earth over and never found a better mother for his son than Anna MacKay.

Davy’s voice drew him from his musing. “Anna, do ye mind if I sit with Uncle Nivan and Uncle Eller tonight? I don’t get to see them often.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Anna assured him.

“Ye could sit with us too.”

Nay. Andrew didn’t want that. He wanted her to sit with him and her next words pleased him no end.

“But then who would yer da sit with? We wouldn’t want him to be lonely would we?

Davy shook his head. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Well don’t worry, I’ll see he doesn’t get lonely. Ye have fun with yer uncles.”

Dear God.
He had been lonely for so very long.

Anna stood smiling after Davy as he led his uncles to the table. Then she joined Andrew where he stood near the hearth.

“Good evening, Anna.”

“Good evening.” She smiled up at him and slipped her hand in his. “Did ye have a good day?”

Did he have a good day? Everything seemed washed from his memory but the feel of her small hand in his, and that made it a very good day. He smiled at her. “Aye, I suppose so. Did ye?”

“Yesterday was better.”

“It was?” Yesterday they had spent the afternoon alone together. She had asked him to go riding again this afternoon, but he declined. He had refused to even take her on a short walk. Why would he have done that?

She smiled. “Aye it was. But Ena and I made quite a bit of progress on my dress.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing ye in it.”

For the next few minutes, she kept him engaged in small talk, never letting go of his hand. This pleased him until he realized he was holding her onto it so firmly she couldn’t have pulled her hand away even if she had wanted to. Still she hadn’t tried.

During the evening meal Andrew fought an internal battle. One moment Anna’s smile, laugh or casual touch would draw his attention and he allowed himself to become intoxicated by her nearness. He told himself there was nothing wrong with enjoying her company. After all, he was marrying her in less than two weeks. Why had it been so important to keep her at arm’s length?