Authors: Cathy MacRae,DD MacRae
Anna absorbed his words, weighing them against her fears. Hearing him speak of Callum and his sense of loss helped her better understand his need to protect her.
“I do understand and believe what you say. I also recognize the folly of charging a group of men by myself. But you must understand I feel the same about you. I did so to protect you from further harm.”
“What is the rest, then?”
She settled her hands around his waist, nestling her forehead into his neck. She could not tell him the whole nagging fear, so she told part.
“You admire my abilities, but part of you wants me to stay home, tending your keep and raising our children. I fear losing too much of myself in marriage, of coming to resent you over time because of it. Or, I hold onto my independence and have you resent me from worrying about my well-being. Neither of those futures is desirable. I know not how to find the middle ground. There are no couples like us to compare or consult.” She glanced up, desperately needing to see his reaction.
Again, long moments passed before he answered. “When ye bought Orion, what was he like?”
She scrunched her brow, immediately recognizing the direction of his question. “He was a wild and powerful colt, not willing to submit to any commands.”
“And did ye take his braw spirit and break it during yer training?”
“You know I did not. We worked together. With guidance and patience he came to trust me.”
Anna shook her head at Duncan’s grin, knowing he’d maneuvered her into the place he wanted. “So ’tis about trust,” he said. “Ye say ye trust me. Do ye trust me enough to believe I willnae make such demands on ye or break yer spirit?”
The perceptiveness of his question pierced through her. “Truly, I do not know. I want to say I trust you that much, but I cannot in all honesty say I do without hesitation.”
“Ah, then do ye wish to wait? I dinnae want ye to feel pressured into marriage, in spite of our families and signed agreements.”
She immediately rejected this idea. “No. I
want
to be your wife. I do not wish to wait. ’Tis not just the pleasure we share, but the joy and contentment I feel when I am at your side. I want to go to bed with you, to wake up with you, to share everything with you.”
“Then I need to continue to inspire yer trust whilst ye develop more faith in me, aye?”
She nodded. “I would like us to speak of specifics though. Your reaction to my teaching the men has left me skittish. I did not like the look in your eyes. I would like to know what you think I should and should not do.”
He took a deep breath. “Anna, I realized early on, like Orion, demanding yer submission or obedience would do more harm than good. I am trying to walk a different path with ye. Howbeit, I am just a man. Seeing another touching ye, seeing how they look at ye…there are limits to my tolerance. I know ye need to keep yer skills honed, but I need yer assurance I have naught to worry about. I will swear to do my best to keep from killing anyone who touches ye.” His voice lightened, but she knew he only partly jested.
“I do understand, and have agreed to keep a respectful distance. I will never do anything to dishonor you. It is easy to imagine we will have our fair share of arguments. I would like to be more strategic than merely stumbling from one conflict to another.”
He chuckled. “A battle plan, then?”
Smacking his chest, she glared at him. “Do you mock me?”
He offered up his hands in a peaceful gesture. “
Pax boidheach laoch
. I but admire yer application of combat strategies to our union. Very well, what do ye propose?”
Satisfied with his response, Anna settled against him once more. She inhaled deeply, smelling him, savoring his warmth. This, this was the reason she didn’t want to wait.
“What if we listed activities we can both live with?”
“Sounds wise. And what of those items on yer list that dinnae appear on mine?”
She lowered her hand to the front of his kilt, finding the hardness there. She gave him a gentle squeeze and answered in a teasing voice, “I shall convince you once we reach our bedchamber.” Hearing him groan with pleasure as she traced the tip of his manhood with her finger made her wish they didn’t have to wait three weeks.
“I applaud yer superior tactics. If ye intend on taking such battles to our bed, I fear I will be forced into surrender every time.”
She leaned against his chest and sighed deeply. She listened to his breathing, his arms firm around her shoulders.
“Thank you for understanding and speaking with me about this. I know part of my fear has nothing to do with you. I am convinced you will be the best of husbands, and I will soon wonder why I dwelt on this foolishness. There was something about hearing the bargaining, having the banns called, and setting a date which made it more real.”
Duncan kneaded the muscles of her neck and shoulders and Anna melted beneath his touch.
“Ye have experienced a number of difficulties in a short period of time. ’Tis expected. I only want to make sure ye have no doubts before I make ye mine forever.” Wrapping an arm around her, he escorted her to Nessa’s room, where they shared a sweet kiss and said goodnight.
* * *
After a few days, word of their training game spread. Men who were not part of the laird’s guard expressed a desire to learn and participate. Anna’s confidence grew, knowing she contributed to the fighting skills of the clan. She’d been attacked twice, and each encounter only half-hearted. It made her wonder if Duncan threatened the men after all.
Anna received word the weavers had finished her woolens, and went to fetch them. Trying them on, she reveled in the luxurious softness of the Merino wool. Other than silk, she’d not felt anything so fine before. They would help keep her warm when the colder months arrived. She chatted with the ladies, who seemed genuinely glad to see her. Not stopping their work, the talk soon turned to the upcoming wedding. After answering their questions, Anna thanked them and walked out the door.
She immediately noticed four of the guard standing across the way—men who weren’t present before she arrived. Iain stood amongst them, and she wondered briefly why they were there. Out of the corner of her eye, Anna detected movement. Dropping her parcel, she turned to face whoever approached.
An arm grabbed her around the neck from behind, and she reacted instinctively by clutching his arm to prevent a choke. She then dropped her right knee to the ground, spiraling her body to the left. The man flew over her right shoulder, landing him flat on his back with a satisfying thud.
His arm still in her grip, she pulled it straight from his body, draping her right leg over his chest. With her left leg at his head, she trapped him on his back. Still on the ground, she stretched his arm out at the wrist, raising her hips. Her move locked his arm at the elbow, causing it to slightly dislocate.
“Yield!” he shouted, as he slapped the ground with his free hand.
Immediately she released her hold, hopped up and assisted him to his feet. She glanced around, noting Iain and the others who had gathered to watch. They all grinned widely, apparently aware of the ambush. She addressed her attacker. “We have not worked chokes from behind yet, Bran. What made you think to attack thus?”
He ducked his head. “I knew ye would defeat me anyway, so I thought to be sneaky.”
His answer earned a laugh from the small crowd. As Anna dusted herself off, she spotted Duncan standing several feet away, his arms crossed, the look on his face a cross between rage and disgust. She’d not seen this particular expression before, and her smile faded. Following her gaze, one by one the men took a step back.
Not knowing what else to do, Anna complimented Bran on a good attack, then retrieved her parcel from the ground. Facing Duncan, she waited for a response. When he said nothing, she swallowed her pride and walked toward him.
“You are angry with me. May I ask why?” She kept her voice calm, not reacting to his obvious ire.
“Ye roll around on the ground with one of my men in front of the entire village like a common
siursach,
and ye wonder why I’m angry?” His voice echoed off the surrounding buildings.
At his words, Anna heard the sharp intake of breath from people nearby. Keeping the barest control on her anger, Anna swallowed a curse, spun on her heel and strode toward the stables.
Once at the barn, Anna threw her package against the wall and immediately saddled Orion.
How dare he call me a whore! If he’d seen the whole thing, then he’d know I did nothing wrong. I responded to the attack swiftly and put an end to it. If he thinks he can treat me thus, humiliating me in front of all, he is a fool, and I am a bigger one for agreeing to marry him
.
She jerked the saddle’s girth and dropped the stirrup.
I should call the wedding off and accept Grandfather’s invitation to return home. I will not tolerate such treatment.
Trean
emerged from Orion’s stall and pushed his muzzle into her hand. She stroked his head and led Orion through the stable door. Mounting, she sped to the loch, Trean
on their heels.
Storming from the village, Duncan loosed a roar of frustration. He knew as soon as he released the words, he had erred grievously. What devil had come over him? Always the one in control, he found himself frequently out of control where Anna was concerned. He knew she did nothing wrong. When Bran surprised her, she took control of the situation. She made no more contact than necessary, nor did she linger on the ground, rising immediately after he yielded.
The jealous rage which possessed him cared naught, hitting him swiftly and completely unexpected. What madness bewitched him to treat the woman he loved in such a way? He’d called her a common whore in front of the men and the village when the previous night he’d asked her to trust him. The anger in her eyes was something he hadn’t seen since her capture. He knew better than to approach her now—it would only make matters worse. She needed time to cool off and so did he.
If he did not wrestle his jealousy under control, he knew he risked losing her—if he hadn’t already. Her grandda had made clear his offer to take her south to Elliot lands on the border. Fear of her leaving clawed at his gut, and he dropped to his haunches, head in hands. The pull of clan and family presented a very real threat.
If she chose to leave, he’d have no one to blame but himself. He knew he could never allow that to happen and would have no choice but to follow until he convinced her to come back to him. But what would she come back to? A husband so jealous she would never earn his trust? What woman would willingly choose such a fate?
Chapter 24
For Anna, the loch had become a place of solace, somewhere to think. Staring into the blue-green waters usually brought a feeling of peace, but today was different. She couldn’t get Duncan’s reaction and words out of her mind. What had she done to earn his mistrust, his anger? He knew she would not dishonor him. He’d witnessed two warriors honing their skills, the way iron sharpens iron—nothing more.
How can I give myself to a man who thinks so little of me? A man who would say such a foul thing to me in public, in front of the men I train?
She tried to view from his perspective, imagine a situation where she would discover him on the ground with another woman, but couldn’t conjure a fair comparison. Her mind could not imagine him thus.
Surely they could come to some sort of compromise.
Shite! I do not want a compromise!
Hurt and anger bubbled at his reaction, at his lack of trust. Perhaps he would walk away from her sooner than she suspected, disgusted with her lack of delicate feminine skills.
Trean’s low growl broke into her musings. She followed his intent gaze to see a dozen men emerge from the trees. A glance at Orion told her she stood no chance of reaching him before she was surrounded. One man leveled a crossbow at her head. A snarled curse rolled beneath her breath as she recognized two men from Alain’s group. The others she’d never seen before.
Shite!
“Look what we ’ave ’ere, lads. An’ all alone. MacGregor ne’er has known ’ow to protect what’s ’is. Come easy, lass, and we can do this without bloodshed.”
Reaching for swords not there, Anna slowly dropped her arms in feigned resignation. As she did, the man with the crossbow cautiously approached, a length of rope in his hands. She swiftly drew the dagger from her boot in one hand, and her
sgian dubh
from her sleeve in the other. She slashed him across the throat before he could react, pushing his dying body back to prepare for the next attack.
The men scrambled back in an uproar. “The cat has claws!”
Trean
drew his lips back, bared his teeth, and launched himself at the closest foe. The man swung his sword and the wolf pup fell hard with a yelp. Anna took a step toward him, but another man picked up the crossbow, threatening her. Dropping to the ground in a forward roll, Anna popped up in front of him. She knocked the crossbow away, then drove both daggers into his neck. Two down, ten left—hopeless odds, she knew. But more would die before she went quietly. Two in front of her drew swords, their faces murderous as they glanced at their fallen comrades. A blur of movement to her side drew her attention. Before she could react, a blow to her head ended her resistance.
* * *
Duncan spotted Orion’s empty stall and knew Anna’s destination. He waited at the stables for her to return, ready to apologize, beg her forgiveness, and agree to anything she asked. All he knew was the world was not right, that he wasn’t whole once she left his side. After two hours of waiting, what little patience he possessed fled. As he saddled his horse, Orion walked into the stables alone. Every nerve in Duncan’s body lit as if scraped by a hot iron. He raced to the training fields, calling for the guard to ride with him.