His Ever After (Love Square) (8 page)

As I lie in my bed, deep in thought and Brooke tucked into my side, I scrub my hands down my face and release a big yawn. I’m exhausted and have a long day at work tomorrow. I’m just going to forget about what happened this weekend with Kara, try not to obsess about missing Sam and focus on taking care of Brooke. That’s my only option at this point. Brooke needs me and for once I’m going to do right by her.

Chapter Five

Bliss. That is exactly what the last two weeks have been. I’m considering calling Emma my own personal, miracle worker. It’s like a whole new Brooke came back from that shopping trip. She’s happier, funnier, sweeter, kinder… I could go on and on spouting her commendable virtues. She is exactly the girl I started to care about when we first got together.

I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I’m riding it out and crossing my fingers that this Brooke is here to stay. I already cared about her, but if she keeps this up, I might actually see myself falling for her eventually. We’ll see though. Anything is possible and I already know how quickly her moods can swing. For now, I’m just content with how things have settled between us.

Emma and I had a nice conversation after our recent visit. I was damn curious to know what transpired between Brooke and her that would bring out this sudden change. Emma didn’t want to go into details with everyone else around, so I had to wait to talk to her after the fact. Apparently, she and Brooke had a heart to heart about us all getting along as a family and putting our differences aside. I can’t say I’m surprised that Emma chose to be the bigger person rather than alienate Brooke or make her feel less than worthy based on her behavior. That’s just the type of person she is.

“Brooke surprised me with how nice she can be once that bitchy exterior washes away. I truly believe she cares about you, Jacob. Maybe she has a hard time showing it, especially with all her insecurities. And she’s actually quite funny. She does some wicked impersonations. Once we got the ‘coming to Jesus’ part out of the way, we got along really well.” That was Emma’s explanation of their time together. I still can’t believe it, but actions speak louder than words and right now Brooke’s actions are screaming good things.

“What do you think about me redecorating the guest room?” Brooke asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

“I think that’s a great idea. I know how much you like that kind of thing,” I say in between bites of the spaghetti that we are eating for dinner.

“I don’t like how bland it is in there. I was thinking about getting some new bed linens and painting the room a pale yellow. It will brighten it up in there and make it a little more welcoming. What do you think?” She cocks her head to the side, looking a little nervous about my reaction to her choices.

“Do whatever you want. Just don’t make it too frilly, it’s still my office and I want to feel comfortable when I’m in there. Other than that, have at it.” I take a sip of my milk and continue eating. Brooke isn’t the greatest cook, but one thing she can do well is red sauce. I always look forward to Sunday dinners when she makes pasta and sauce.

“I wouldn’t do that. You’ve been spending so much time in there over the last month or two. I just wanted to do something nice for you. And I think it’s important for me to put my mark on this place seeing as how I live here now.”

“Thank you for making this place look more like a home instead of a bachelor pad,” I give her a grin and reach over to wipe some sauce from the corner of her mouth. “When were you going to start?” I’ll need to get my Sam mementos out of the closet before she does her thing. I don’t want her to find what I’ve got hidden in there.

“Probably on my next day off,” she shrugs and before I have a chance to ask her when that is, Brooke’s phone starts ringing.

“Oh! That’s Kara. I better take this.” Brooke picks up our plates and heads into the kitchen talking animatedly about a mutual friend’s upcoming wedding. I push my chair back and head to the living room to watch television.

I’m halfway through a DVR’d episode of
Southland
, when a beer appears in my line of vision. I take a swig of it and set it on the coffee table, turning my attention back to the show. When a commercial comes on, Brooke crawls in my lap and straddles me before I have a chance to hit fast forward on the remote.

She kisses me gently before tracing my lips with her tongue. I open my mouth, allowing her tongue to slide in against mine. My hands toy with the hem of her shirt before running up the bare skin of her back, pulling her torso into mine and deepening the kiss. I wasn’t planning on having sex with her tonight, but now my body is starting to fire on all cylinders. I didn’t think I’d have the energy to get it up after working an overnight last night. Since I’m switching back to days for the next few weeks, I’m trying to stay up until a “normal” bedtime, so I can adjust to the change easier. My dick is definitely proving that thought wrong right now though.

Brooke pulls her mouth away and rests her forehead against mine. “We need to talk,” she pants against my lips. I grip her hips as a silent encouragement for her to continue.

“I really want us to try for another baby,” she whispers.

“Brooke –” I start, but she puts her index finger over my lips silencing me.

“I know what you’re going to say. Will you please just hear me out?” I nod at her in agreement.

She takes a deep breathe in an attempt to compose herself and ready her debate.

“I know we aren’t married yet and I know things have been crazy between us lately, but Jacob, there is an ache inside me. A void that needs to be filled. After the initial shock of our unplanned pregnancy, I was elated that I was going to be a mom. I want nothing more than to have a piece of us growing inside me, to be able to give it unconditional love for the rest of its life. When you and I are good together, we are
good
together. Just think of all the love we’d have for this baby.” Her eyes fill with tears as she continues, “It could grow up with Candace and Grace. If we wait for a big wedding and all that, we’ll be waiting forever. I know you don’t want my dad’s money paying for all of it, and I’m okay with that. Except in the meantime, we are waiting for our lives to start when we could be building that life now.”

She bites her lip and looks so vulnerable. It had to have been hard for her to open up and tell me what she is really feeling, which makes what I’m about to say all that much worse.

“I’m sorry. I’m not ready yet. It might not be what you want to hear right now, but it is the Gods honest truth. I’m not ready. And I
need
to be ready before I father a child. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t happy we were going to have a baby before. It just means that now that we have a choice, I choose for us to wait until we’ve been together longer and are on a more solid footing.” I speak softly, trying to minimize the harshness of my words.

I know I’m right. It would be crazy for us to have a baby now. We are both on different pages in many aspects of our lives. I want to know that my relationship is meant to stand the test of time before having kids. And there is no way I’ll bring a child into this world not knowing if its mother is going to be a raging bitch or sweet as pie from one minute to the next. I need to see how this relationship plays out before I consider taking that step.

Brooke starts sobbing and tries to get up from my lap. My hands tighten on her hips, keeping her in place. I don’t want her to run away right now, while we are finally communicating properly. I reach up and put pressure on the back of her head, tucking her face into my neck while she cries.

I don’t try to say nice words to lessen her pain. I don’t even try to stop her. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry and release the emotions that I know she’s been holding inside. Hopefully, this will be one more step towards her being healed.

Once her tears have slowed and all that remains are a few little hiccups, I put my fingers under her chin and pull her face up to mine. The soft kiss I plant on her mouth is a promise. A promise to give her whatever she needs, only if and when the time is right.

“You okay?” I murmur against her mouth.

She takes a shuddering breath before nodding. The watery smile that follows causes me to relax a little. Phew… I feel like I just dodged a bullet.

Brooke settles into my side, and we finish watching
Southland
together. When the credits start to roll, I yawn and look at the clock to see it’s only nine o’clock. It’s still early, but I could stand to get some sleep. I’m fucking exhausted.

I get up and take my empty beer bottle into the kitchen. On my way back through the living room, I lean over the back of the couch and touch my lips to Brooke’s, saying goodnight. And that’s when my phone decides to go off.

Glancing at the screen, I see it’s Dispatch. I bite back a string of curse words, knowing I’m about to be called in when I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours.

“Matthews,” I answer, hoping it isn’t too serious of a situation, and I’ll be able to come home and sleep soon. Listening to Sandy in Dispatch describe the hostage situation I’m about to walk into, quickly ruins that hope. It’s going to be a long night. I end the call and head down the hall to change into jeans and a sweater.

Brooke follows me into the bedroom. “What was the call for?” She sits on the bed and watches me while I do up my belt.

“Hostage situation. Suspect is a thirty-nine year old male who has a woman and child barricaded in the house with him. I’m the hostage negotiator on call tonight.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go. I was looking forward to having you in bed tonight,” she frowns at the thought.

“I know. I’m sorry, baby. You’ll have me tomorrow night for sure.” I lean down and kiss her lips. “Don’t wait up for me.”

***

I arrive on the scene just before ten o’clock. The house is a narrow, brick row home adjacent to a park. There are at least ten squad cars parked in the vicinity, with dozens of officers around the scene. I can see that the SWAT team is already in place.

Time to get to work.

Doug Higgins, the Detective Supervisor on the scene, approaches when he sees me pull up. “Suspect’s name is Jeremiah Hudson. His wife called in and reported he was threatening to kill her, the son and himself. Patterson and Smith were first on the scene around eight o’clock. We’ve tried to get him to surrender with no luck.”

“Were you able to evacuate the neighbors?” I ask while eyeing the other attached homes.

“Affirmative. The wife and child have locked themselves in a back bedroom on the second floor. We have officers back there now who will attempt to get them out while you keep the husband’s attention up in the front of the house. The suspect is armed. Based on the wife’s description, we believe it to be a large caliber handgun.”

“Do we know what set this guy off?” I need to know what his perceived injustice is, so I can formulate the best plan to talk this guy down.

“Apparently he got laid off six months ago and has been hitting the bottle pretty hard ever since. The wife told him she wants a divorce. She packed her and the kid’s bags and was going to live with the mother in Kentucky.”

I nod and immediately get to work, making contact with the suspect via telephone. My first priority is to get him talking, while officers work to free the wife and kid.

After an hour of empathizing with his situation, I finally had him completely focused on his problems and me. We were able to get the wife and son out around one o’clock in the morning by sneaking them down a rescue ladder in the back of the house. However, Jeremiah continued to refuse to turn himself in once he learned his family was gone.

For the next several hours, the rest of the hostage negotiation team and I attempt to get him to see reason. It’s obvious that his mental state is quickly beginning to deteriorate. I wouldn’t be surprised if he kept drinking his go-to Vodka the whole time we were communicating with him.

My muscles are tense, and my adrenaline is pumping. The longer this standoff goes on, the less likely it will end without being messy. I roll my shoulders to relieve some of the tension that has built up there and I down the last of my coffee. It’s late, and I need to stay sharp.

I love my job. This is the type of rush that I feed off of. The challenge that pushes me to excel and grow as a person. Being a cop is who I am. I was born to serve and protect. Even when I was younger, I was always trying to help people or save animals. My mom called me her little crime fighter whenever I dressed up as a police officer for Halloween or talked incessantly about what I wanted to be when I grew up. There was never a doubt in my mind about whether or not I would be good at what I do.

Around three o’clock in the morning, the situation deteriorated rapidly. Jeremiah became erratic and started talking about harming himself and not wanting to go on. We mobilized quickly, and SWAT rushed the house in an attempt to take him into custody, instigating a shootout. Thankfully, only the suspect was harmed and transported to a nearby hospital for non-life threatening injuries.

While filling out reports, I notice the date and curse under my breath. Now that it’s early Monday morning, I realize that Grace’s birthday is tomorrow. I can’t even go home to sleep yet. I need to get to the florist and order flowers for delivery on her birthday. As I leave the precinct, I bang my forehead on the steering wheel and start the car. The faster I take care of business, the faster I get to collapse in bed.

***

The flower shop is small and cramped. If it weren’t for the fact that I’ve been buying flowers for my nieces since they were little, I wouldn’t be dealing with this right now. There is no way I can let Grace down though. I can just imagine her sad, puppy dog eyes and little, quivering chin when she realizes she didn’t get her birthday delivery. I couldn’t break her heart like that, so here I am sucking up the fact that I’m exhausted and just want to go home and sleep for twenty-four hours straight.