His Soul To Keep (Dark Knights of Heaven Book 1) (7 page)

Chapter Nine

Rail guided Cassidy down the hall, letting her set the pace, wondering if he should carry her. Every step seemed to cause her pain. She leaned heavily against him, muscles tense, her grip tight on his arm. "Cass…"

"Not now," she cut him off. "I need a moment of quiet."

"Okay."

At the bedroom door, she looked up with eyes full of tears. Rail’s breath hitched as his chest constricted.

"That could have been me, couldn’t it?" she asked quietly. "It still could be, if I leave?"

He nodded. Contemplating the possibility of one of those beasts tearing her apart stole his voice.

Inside the room, Rail silently helped Cassidy strip out of the bloody clothes so she could bathe again. When she finally emerged from the shower, he slipped her into a clean t-shirt and tucked her into bed. After a kiss on her forehead, he turned to leave.

"Rail?"

"Huh?"

"Will you stay? I don’t think I want to be alone right now." Her lower lip quivered.

"Anything you want, sweetheart." Toeing off his boots, Rail stripped off his shirt and weapons, then climbed in next to her. Before he could ask if she wanted to be held, Cassidy rolled closer and snuggled against him. A moment later, he felt her shoulders shake. Hot tears rained down on his chest. Wrapping his big arms around her, Rail whispered calming words into her hair, punctuating them with soft kisses.

* * *

Cassidy inhaled deeply, enjoying the woodsy, rain-clean scent of her pillow—too bad the thing wasn’t softer. She moved to fluff it and skimmed her hand across hard, warm flesh trembling beneath her touch. Shocked into consciousness, she pulled away.

God, she’d fallen asleep lying on Rail's chest!

"What’s wrong?" he rumbled sleepily. "Why did you move?"

Heat spread across her cheeks. "I was practically on top of you."

Rail opened his eyes half-mast. "I didn’t mind." He held out his hand and beckoned her back. "It’s hours until dawn. Come back to bed."

As wonderful as that sounded, Cassidy moved over and lay back against the pillows. "I’m fine over here. Thank you."

"Are you embarrassed?"

"Of course. I barely know you, and here I am in bed with you. Again!" Cassidy was sure her cheeks were bright red.

"Oh, that." Rail laughed. "I thought you were embarrassed about crying in front of me."

"That too," she huffed.

"Don’t be. You kept it together when you were needed. There’s nothing wrong with letting your emotions out when the crisis is over."

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Really? You cry?" Cassidy asked, dubious of his answer.

Rail stretched his powerful arms over his head. "No, I take it out on the heavy bag."

Cassidy shifted, feeling awkward as Rail caught her watching him stretch.

He had a fantastic body. The memory of having those powerful arms wrapped around her made her shiver. To cover her ogling, she rolled her eyes and pulled the sheet up a little further. "Of course you do."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Women cry. Men beat things up."

Rail considered telling her there had once been a time when he’d been able to cry. A long time ago. Before his world changed. But he got the feeling she would think he was lying. Instead, he asked, "Do you think it’s weak to cry?"

"No. You cry because you need to. Happy or sad. But I think it’s weak to use crying as a weapon. You know, to make someone feel guilty."

"You’ve never done that?" Rail rolled to his side, tucking the pillow under his head.

"Not since I was twelve. And J.J. didn’t give in anyway. Just rolled his eyes and walked away." She groused. "Brat. Called me a baby."

"Who’s J.J.?" Did that possessive growl come from him?

"My brother. Well, technically he’s my cousin. When his mom died, he came to live with us. His dad never really wanted him, so J.J. stayed with us." She shrugged. "After a few years, we got legal custody and adopted him." Cassidy wiped her eyes. "God, he’s probably going nuts. I told Dad not to tell him I was alive."

"About that…"

"Kaz isn’t happy with you, is he?"

Rail grunted in agreement. "Nothing new."

"I don’t care what he thinks. Besides, what did it hurt to say good-bye? I’m never going to see or talk to my family again. I know that. It’s just, I couldn’t leave them wondering again."

Stunned, he asked, "Again?"

Cassidy sighed and wiggled back into the pillows, twisting the end of the sheet in her fingers. "When I was a kid, we went camping—someplace near the Grand Canyon. Or in it. I don’t remember. Anyway, I saw a rabbit and followed it. I thought I was keeping the camp in sight, but before I knew it, I was lost."

"How long before your parents found you?"

A dark shadow flitted over her face. "I was out there alone, overnight. A ranger found me in the morning. He told me I was lucky; there had been a mountain lion attack nearby the night before." She shivered. "I can still remember feeling as if something was following me, watching me. Glowing yellow eyes staring at me from the brush."

Rail’s heart went out to that frightened little girl cold and alone in the darkness. An ugly thought clawed its way to the surface, making Rail's blood go cold. Had Cassidy narrowly escaped a demon attack as a child?

"So you see," Cassidy continued, "I couldn’t leave them hanging, wondering what happened to me this time. Don’t worry, I promise I won’t try to contact them again."

"You thought about it though, didn’t you?" Rail pulled the sheet down a little and took her hand in his, stroking it softly with his thumb.

"Of course I thought about it. I thought you guys were nut jobs. But after seeing Margarite, I think I understand things a little better. What you’re up against. What’s out there waiting. I won’t endanger you or this place. Kaz doesn’t need to worry."

"Thank you."

"For what?" Her eyebrows popped up in surprise.

"For admitting you thought about trying something. My impression of you would have taken a dramatic plunge if you hadn’t even considered trying to get away or contacting your family."

Cassidy laughed. "Does that mean you like difficult women?"

"I like you." Rail slid closer and kissed her palm.

"Oh." Fluttering started in Cassidy's belly, and a heated blush crept over her cheeks, moving down her neck. Did he have to keep giving her those gentle heart-melting kisses? "Well, I like you too," she said with less confidence than she felt.

Rail moved closer, tucking her body against his. "How much?"

"Well…you know…I like you…" Cassidy silently cursed the breathlessness of her voice and the way her body trembled. If the bulge against her hip was any indication, he enjoyed the contact too.

"There’s like, and then there’s
like
," he rumbled seductively against her neck.

"I—I don’t know you well enough to like you more than friends." Now lust? That was a different matter. Cassidy had a flash—the two of them tangled in the sheets, hot, sweaty, and doing things she’d only read about.

"Your heartbeat tells me differently," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "And I can feel your arousal."

"Stop it." Embarrassed, Cassidy bolted from the bed and into the bathroom, followed by Rail’s rumbling laughter. "It’s just the soul connection," she told her reflection. Unfortunately for her, the blushing woman in the mirror wasn’t buying it. She was beginning to
like
him.

"Cassidy?" A soft rap on the door followed the warm voice. "Do you want breakfast now?"

"No. Thank you. but some coffee would be nice. Cream and sugar, please." She listened intently to Rail's footfalls. When the bedroom door opened and closed, she breathed again. Thank God he wasn’t going to press her about her feelings. Right now, she wasn’t really sure what she felt. "Okay, girl, get it together." She took a washrag from the rack, wet it, and gave herself a quick wipe down to cool off.

Unfortunately, she knew the cool respite wouldn’t last with Rail around. The thought of his broad, hard, naked chest sent heat through her blood.

Staring at her reflection, she took a moment to settle her mind and drag her thoughts away from Rail’s gorgeous body. She had more important things to think about—like how she was going to keep herself from going insane.

* * *

As Rail made his way downstairs to the kitchen, he thanked the Heavens Cassidy had been too preoccupied with her embarrassment to notice his tattoos. If she asked what they meant, he wouldn’t be able to lie—making things more complicated. She was still getting used to the concept of angels and demons, no sense in adding magic into the mix.

Unfortunately, it would mean keeping a shirt on while around her.

Damn it.

All he wanted to do was get naked with her.

Grumbling, he shoved the thought away. He couldn’t think of her that way. No matter how luscious she looked first thing in the morning.

His cock sprang to attention again.

Damn it.

A quick detour took him to the laundry room where a pile of clean shirts waited to be folded. Randomly picking one, he pulled it over his head and stumbled into the kitchen.

"Yo, man. You’re up early." Boomer grinned knowingly around a bite of apple.

"You too." Rail grabbed a mug off the counter. "Cassidy wanted coffee."

"So how is she?"

"Dealing as best she can, considering."

"Aw, come on. You know what I mean. How
is
she?"

Rail's demon roused, baited by the perceived insult. Keeping his voice low, he caught his comrade in a piercing glare. "Ezekiel, don’t even go there."

Boomer ignored the warning look and grimaced at Rail. "Don’t call me that."

"Then don’t piss me off."

Holding the apple with his teeth, Boomer backed away, hands up in surrender as he left the kitchen. Moments later, Rail heard his laughter.

"Asshat," he grumbled, preparing Cassidy’s coffee. Obviously, this was just the beginning of torment from Boomer until either the jerk got bored and gave up or Rail ripped the fallen angel’s head from his shoulders and crammed it down his neck.

Chapter Ten

Four days.

Cassidy tossed her half-eaten muffin into the trash and stared at her bed. Four days had passed since the morning she’d woken up with Rail in that bed.

She couldn’t remember all the conversation they’d, had but obviously she’d said something to upset him. After Rail had returned with her coffee, he’d said a few quiet words of comfort and then vanished. Four days wandering around her new home and she had yet to find him.

Giving herself a mental shake, Cassidy reprimanded the possessive little bitch who’d suddenly put in an appearance. Had she really expected him to stay with her twenty-four seven? Realistically, no. But his carefully orchestrated avoidance still hurt.

At least, Cassidy thought as she dressed, she wasn’t bored.

So far, she’d explored every unlocked room in the hall housing her room and the adjoining hall where Margarite stayed. She’d visited with the injured woman daily to give Tam a break. It was all too obvious to Cassidy; he felt guilty over the attempted suicide and had taken extra shifts to watch over Margarite.

Cassidy shook her head. That wasn’t any of her business. She had enough to think about.

Like Rail’s disappearing act.

Drag me off to a secret island and then ditch me. Asshole.

Frustrated, Cassidy decide to begin her explorations downstairs with the blue room. The entire building was a live-in museum, each room containing captured points in time; and she’d barely scratched the surface.

A warm, fragrant breeze caressed her cheek and she glanced out the open French doors leading to the balcony off the back of her room. Taking note of the cliffs and the patch of beach in the distance, Cassidy decided to skip the downstairs exploration and explore the gardens and the beaches instead.

Pulling on her borrowed sandals and pushing Rail out of her mind, she headed out the door.

In time, her rambling walk brought her to a secluded beach where she found Seraphina sunbathing. "Hey," she called, not wanting to startle the other woman.

"Hey, yourself." Seraphina waved back. Patting the towel next to her, she asked, "Want to join me?"

Cassidy shook her head. "No, thanks. I’ve never been much of a sun worshiper."

Seraphina laughed. "But you’re from Nevada!"

"So?" She shrugged. "I was never into baking myself."

Seraphina rolled her eyes. "What are you up to today?"

"Just exploring." Cassidy gestured to the surrounding forest.

"Well, be careful around the north cliffs if you get that far today. The ground there is really soft, and the rocks can be loose."

"Thanks for the warning." Cassidy looked up and down the beach. "Uh, so which way is a good direction to go?"

Seraphina propped herself up on her elbows. "Doesn’t matter; it’s not like you can get lost."

"Not unless you want to," Cassidy grumbled.

"What do you mean?" The other women sat up, wariness narrowing her eyes.

"Have you seen Rail?"

Seraphina relaxed immediately. "Not for a few days. He’s probably on patrol."

"Yeah, you’re probably right. Would have been nice if he’d said something," Cassidy muttered, turning to leave. "Well, I’ll see you at dinner."

Seraphina waved absently and returned to browning her skin. "Have fun!"

Cassidy followed the shore, keeping it in sight when the path detoured into the surrounding vegetation. Maybe she could occupy her time cataloging the plants? There were tons she’d never seen before. She’d have to ask if there was a library; she doubted they would let her use a computer—too much temptation to contact the outside world.

A shout of exhilaration brought her attention back to the beach. In a secluded cove surrounded on the sides by piles of rocks, Cassidy spotted Rail jumping the breakers. He wasn’t wearing trunks.

Shocked and yet dangerously curious, she crept closer.

His body was magnificent—hard, muscular, and deliciously tan. Tattoos covered his back from neck to his well-formed ass, down his legs, and around his ribs. Even a few on his arms she hadn’t noticed before. Curiously, the ones on his back appeared to move with a life of their own, but it was difficult to see what they were from where she stood.

At the same time Cassidy reached the edge of the sand, Rail emerged from the surf carrying two large fish that he deposited into a basket sitting out of reach of the breakers. Cassidy backed up, but it was too late. He’d noticed her.

Embarrassed, but not willing to show it by leaving now that he’d spotted her, Cassidy waved and strode forward with purpose, keeping her eyes locked on his. "I guess we’re having fish for dinner?" She smiled, pointing at the basket.

Rail shrugged. "I need to catch a few more. Have you seen how Boomer eats?"

"You know, most people use rods or nets."

Rail nodded and backed away a step or two. "I like the challenge."

"Oh, well…you know most people also wear shorts." Trying not to look down, Cassidy waved in the general direction of his hips.

He smiled knowingly, snatched a towel from the sand, and wrapped it around his waist.

"Thanks." Cassidy shifted uncomfortably, hoping Rail would think the heated blush creeping across her cheeks was sunburn.

"Are you enjoying your explorations?" he asked, swiping his dark, wet hair back from his face.

Cassidy shrugged to appear nonchalant. "You have some interesting things here." It was difficult to keep the conversation light and airy when all she wanted to do was yell at him for avoiding her.

"Yes, I suppose we do. Years and years worth." Rail wiped his hands on the towel, looking around nervously.

Taking a step forward, Cassidy noted how Rail moved a step back. Like two magnets fighting each other. It was the last straw for her strained nerves. "
Uggggg!
I can’t do this anymore!" She plopped into the sand with a
whoof
and pulled her knees up, frustration overwhelming her.

"What?" Concern rippled across his face.

"Pretend that everything is fine." Cassidy released a frustrated breath. "Like I’m on a vacation or something."

"You’ll get used to it. In time."

"When? In a year? Two years? You don’t understand. I’m dying here!" She hadn’t meant to be so melodramatic, but it was too late now. Cassidy let out a long breath and punched the sand. "Emotionally, I’m dying inside. I can’t live like this. I’m not one to hide. It doesn’t help that you haven’t been around."

Rail stumbled forward, dropping to his knees, looking at her in stunned disbelief. "But—"

Cassidy ignored his interruption and gestured to the world beyond the crashing waves. "I need to be out
there
to live."

"What exactly is out there that you are missing?"

"Besides my family?" The bite in her voice made Rail wince. "I’m twenty-eight, Rail. I miss my friends. Interaction with different people. I miss being social. And yes, I miss my work. I had a career. One I was born for. I love the research. The hunt. The questions and coming up with the answers. I loved the mess of it."

"I can’t let you leave." The chill in Rail's voice left no doubt, there would be no bending that rule.

"I know, I know," Cassidy conceded, lowering her voice. "The whole ‘
monsters will hunt you down and eat you’
thing, but you can at least let me work. Give me a computer with Internet, and I’ll find things to keep me busy. I’ll do research. I might even be able to find the other Knights and possibly even the
Aktura.
Damn it, I need to do something."

"Kaz will never—"

"Rail, please. I need this and so do you. I know you can’t talk about looking for the
Aktura
without hurting. Hell, you probably don’t even remember our conversation on the barge." She shook her head. "But that doesn’t matter. I know I can help. I know I can find them."

"I’ll have to think about it." Rail stood to leave, turning his back to her.

Cassidy jumped forward and caught his wrist. "Let me talk to Kaz."

"I don’t think—"

"Please."

"You don’t know what he’s like. His entire existence has been wrapped around keeping us hidden and the demons at bay. He doesn’t adapt well to the changes that directly affect us. I’d hoped finding his
Aktura
would mellow him, but…" Rail shrugged. "Why should I risk his wrath?"

"Because I think this is what you, the Knights, need from me. I think this is what you want too." She released her grip on his arm and sat back on the sand. "And as weird as it sounds, I think this is why I’m your
Aktura
."

Rail looked back over his shoulder and let out a long breath. "Fine. But I’ll be the one to talk to him."