Authors: Sandra Balzo
âPolycarbonate,' Patrick corrected, more defiant than friendly as he reclaimed them. âLightweight, but they do make me look more authoritative, don't they?' He slipped the black frames on and struck a grave, counseling pose.
âSo you're trying to play older?' AnnaLise shook her head. âWhat happened to earning your clients' respect because of your ability at lawyering?'
âI'd have been happy to take the high road,' Patrick said, now defensively, âif only nature had given me that chance.'
âPatrick's right, if semi-pathetic,' Shirley said, nearly joining arms with the man. âDespite graduating from Harvard Law School, our newly minted attorney here looked about eleven.'
âLike Doogie Howser,' Daisy agreed. âOnly a little younger.'
âClients didn't trust me to handle their affairs,' Patrick lamented. âThey insisted that my fatherâ'
âWho by then was a brick or two shy of a full loadâ' Shirley interjected.
âRepresent them, even though he was, sad to say, beginning to falter.'
AnnaLise glanced at Daisy, who had thankfully been drawn aside by Joy. Feeling guilty for having judged Hoag the Younger, given her own parent's cognitive problems, she said, âI'm so sorry. How's your father doing now?'
Hoag used his middle finger to push the faux glasses higher on his nose. âHe died last year.'
Now AnnaLise felt doubly sorry, even while wondering if Hoag had just subtly flipped her off. She willingly followed as the lawyer changed the subject back to the gathering at hand. âI've seen the list of invitees, of course, and I know the locals, but not the, uh â¦'
âBest we leave it at “others,” dear,' Shirley said, patting his arm. âSo much better than pretenders to the throne and hangers-on.'
âDo you know everybody, Shirley?' AnnaLise asked.
Wife number one turned toward the rest of the crowd. âI've heard of Rose,' she said, pointing to the white-haired lady. âDickens loved to nettle me with how he'd been deflowered, so to speak, by her. Then there was Lucinda, of course, who marked the end of my own marriage.'
âI'm sorry,' AnnaLise said quickly. âI didn't mean to resurrect bad memories.'
âHey, I came here, as we all did, knowing full well what we were getting into. You shouldn't feel like any of us need protection, my dear.'
Patrick threw AnnaLise a âtold-you-so' look and she felt the surface of her face flame. Apparently peacemakers weren't going to be involved, much less blessed, this weekend. âSo I've been told. I guess it's just my way, trying to get people to play well with others.'
Joy had returned to the conversation, and proved it by pinching her hard.
âOuch!' AnnaLise rubbed her stinging upper arm. âWhy'd you do that?'
âSomebody's got to toughen you up.'
âNot a bad course,' Shirley said. âYou have a lot to lose this weekend.'
Before AnnaLise could state, again, that she didn't want Hart's money, another voice rang out.
âThat bastard!'
âD
on't shush me, Tyler. Dickens Hart is a thief.'
The strawberry blonde that Boozer Bacchus had identified as Lucinda Puckett was standing near the bar with her son, Tyler. She grabbed the cord dangling from her offspring's neck and yanked sharply. âDo you see this?'
âMother, please.' Tyler Puckett was leaning back like a re-calcitrant Great Dane being tugged by its leash. âIt's just a name badge, so â¦'
âNot the badge,' she snapped. âThe font on the fuckingâ'
âMother!'
Startled, Lucinda dropped her pup's leash.
Rubbing his neck where the cord must have bitten in, Tyler said, âNow will you
explain
? And calmly, please?'
Lucinda lowered her voice and turned away, forcing AnnaLise to move a bit closer to the pair. Patrick, Daisy, Joy and Shirley followed like a rugby scrum.
â⦠studying graphic arts at the university,' Lucinda was saying. âHart hired me to design a custom typeface and logo for the White Tail Club.'
Tyler looked confused. âBut I thought you were already working for Hart. As a Doe.'
â
Fawn
,' his mother corrected. âAnd I was, but this more ⦠well, professional association meant we could spend time together without his wife complaining.'
AnnaLise felt, rather than saw, Shirley Hart rear up, but the ex-wife seemed to contain herself.
Tyler cocked his head. âAnd which wife would this have been?'
âShirley.' Lucinda's hand gestured vaguely toward the buffet crowd. âThe really old one.'
Now Joy clapped a pre-emptive hand over Shirley's mouth.
âIn the wheelchair?' Tyler asked.
âHeaven's, no.' Lucinda seemed to be losing patience. âThat's Rose and she was
well
before my time, I'll have you know. Besides, Rose and Dickens never married. Shirley is â¦' She was scanning the crowd for the woman who stood not ten feet behind her.
âNever mind,' Tyler said. âI'm sure I'll run into her. But go on. You said you designed what?'
âThe whole corporate identity campaign for the White Tail Club, right down to a custom font with lower case “a”s that look like hearts.' This time she lifted her own badge. âSee?'
Tyler was looking puzzled. âThere are no “a”s in your name.'
âNo!' his mother exploded. âIn the logo for the house, Hart's Head!'
âOh, yeah.' Tyler stared. âIs that a penis on the “d”?'
âIt's the plume of a white-tailed deer,' his mother said between clenched teeth.
Tyler shook his head. âMaybe that's what you designed, but it sure looks like somebody took liberties with your ⦠tail.' A glance at his mother. âSo to speak.'
AnnaLise laughed. And then slapped her own hand over her own mouth before Joy could do it for her.
Lucinda, though, had heard and pivoted on her pumps to face them. âYou have a problem?'
âOf course she does,' Joy dove in for her friend. âDickens Hart â just like everybody else here.'
âAmen to that,' Shirley said. âBy the way, Tyler, I'm the “really” old one.'
He turned bright red. âI'm sorry about that.'
âHey, don't be sorry. She's,' Shirley tilted her head toward Lucinda, âthe one who said it.'
âWell, then, I'm sorry,' the strawberry blonde said, looking genuinely embarrassed. âIt's just such an odd situation.'
âCertainly makes for strange bedfellows,' Patrick Hoag said, earning him an eye roll from AnnaLise. Seeing it, he asked, âWhat?'
AnnaLise just turned to Lucinda. âWe couldn't help but overhear. You were responsible for the White Tail ⦠what did you call it? Corporate identity?'
Lucinda was nodding. âThe logo, permissible color palate and, last but not least, a custom-designed typeface.'
âWhich he's still using?'
âAnd, of course, never paid me for. Except in semen. I just assumed he wasn't going to use it.'
âResulting in
me
,' Tyler said a little bitterly. âNow if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to talk to “Dad.”'
âHandsome boy,' Daisy said, watching him walk away.
Lucinda glanced down at Daisy's name badge, obviously wondering who she was.
Joy leaned in toward AnnaLise and whispered, âDickens really should have included a flow chart on the badges. You know, so we could see how everybody ⦠fit in?'
AnnaLise ignored her. âLucinda, I'm AnnaLise Griggs, and this is my mother, Daisy. Or Lorraine, back then.'
At that news, Lucinda's eyes grew speculative. âThe only confirmed heir and her mother.' She put out her hand to Daisy. âIt's a pleasure to meet you.'
âYou can just see the wheels turning, can't you?' Shirley said in a low voice as Daisy and Lucinda strolled away, chatting.
âWhat?' AnnaLise asked.
âShe's usually quicker on the uptake,' Joy apologized to Shirley and Patrick. Then, to AnnaLise: âWhat my fellow ex-wife means is that if Lucinda can pair Tyler and you up, then the Puckett family is assured of “payment” for Lucinda's services, whether Tyler proves to be fruit of Hart's loins or not.'
Joy cupped her ear. âHark!'
AnnaLise hadn't heard anything surprising beyond the nattering of the ex-wife. âWhat?'
âIt's ⦠why it's,' Joy's head was now swiveling, âyes! I doth believe a giant sucking-up noise has engulfed the room.'
AnnaLise turned her attention to where her friend's gaze had finally landed. Dickens Hart was surrounded by Boccaccios and Pucketts, the youngest of each pair intent on making a good impression. But their target's attention was drawn to an even younger pair.
Sugar Capri and her daughter, Lacey.
âDaisy, I happened to notice you talking to the Capris earlier.' AnnaLise and her mother were standing to the side of where Boozer and his minions were, thankfully, finishing their work. âAre they,' the wordsmith daughter was desperately searching her mental thesaurus for any âsoft' adjective, settling lamely on, â⦠nice?'
Daisy's eyebrows rose. âNice? Well, I suppose so. At least, for gold-diggers.'
AnnaLise, ever the contrarian, jumped to the gold-diggers' defense. âNow that's not fair. From everything I've heard, this is all on Dickens Hart. First the original incident â crime, really â and now, inviting them over Boozer's objection.'
Daisy scrunched up her nose. âWhat original incident?'
AnnaLise felt her eyes go wide. There was nothing to be gained by sharing Sugar's chronological age at the time Hart âhad' her. And with few exceptions, everything that went into Daisy's ear eventually came out of Mama's mouth.
âNothing, nothing,' the journalist said.
âWhat do you mean, “nothing”?' her mom said, hands in a what's-up-with-this posture. âYou're obviously privy to something I'm not, and it feels like you're trying to spare a poor, failing parent something that might hurt me.'
âPrivy?' AnnaLise squeaked, trying to buy time to come up with something plausible. âGood word, but I'm not privy to anything. I thought you were and that if you thought I knew, you'd tell me.' Convoluted, but not entirely ridiculous. She hoped. âBesides, you're the one who just called them gold-diggers.'
âI did not.'
AnnaLise's stomach dropped, like it always did when her mother forgot a short-term memory these days. At first she had played along or laughed it off, even pretended it hadn't happened at all. Now she tried to spark her mother's recall. âYes, you did. Barely two minutes ago.'
Daisy rolled her eyes. âPlease wipe that â“Daisy's-gone-nuts” expression off your face, AnnaLise. What I meant was that Sugar's the one who said they're gold-diggers. Along with everyone else here, of course. We even had a good laugh over it.'
That just didn't compute for AnnaLise. âDid Sugar also say why they'd been invited in the first place? Dickens had a vasectomy twenty-eight years ago, so Lacey can't be his daughter.'
âGoodness.' Daisy seemed taken aback. âYou seem to know more about your father than I do.'
âI'm writing his memoirs. At your urging, I might add. Information â the good, the bad
and
the ugly â kind of comes with the territory.'
âTrue,' Daisy seemed to sink inside herself, and AnnaLise fervently hoped that âDaisy's-gone-nuts' expression hadn't returned to her
own
features.
Then her mother seemed to come up for rational air. âIf you're right about the timing of Dickens' operation, then Lacey
is
far too young to be Dickens daughter. But â¦'
âBut what?'
Daisy actually smiled. âSugar isn't.'
âW
ell, I just heard a sickening possibility.'
âWhat's that?' Joy pulled a candidate wine bottle from the rack, read the label and shoved it back. She was trying to snag another bottle of the glorious cabernet from Hart's wine cellar before dinner was announced, which would likely be done by a butler with a bell, given the tenor of the event so far. Or, maybe, a giant gong. âSugar couldn't be Dickens' daughter, could she?'
â
God
, no!' Another bottle didn't make Joy's grade. âThere's a limit to even
his
perversity. But, tell me, where did you get that idea?'
âDaisy.'
Bent over to peruse the lower shelves, Joy swiveled her head sideways toward AnnaLise, her eyes narrow. âYour mother?'
âOh, she doesn't know anything about Dickens and Sugar â or, more specifically, her exact age at the time.' Happily the cellar was dim, or Joy would have seen AnnaLise color up at the thought of how close she'd come to telling Daisy.
âGood. Keep it that way.' Joy slid another bottle out and, straightening, blew dust off the label so she could read it.
âBut Daisy â wrong though you say she is, thank the Lord â did make me think. Someone like Dickens who doesn't stick, sexually speaking, to his own age groupâ'
âNo, he's always stuck it to pretty much any woman who's gotten too close for too long.' The latest bottle went back in, too. âDamn. I could have sworn there was a case of the cab we were drinking.'
âI know I was raised in an all-female household so maybe I'm naïve about this stuff,' AnnaLise continued, undeterred, âbut isn't there some kind of male parallel to maternal instinct? You know, a protective predisposition that would deter somebody like Dickens from ⦠umm â¦'
âDoing?' Joy supplied, inspecting another bottle.
Good a word as any. âOK, “doing” somebody young enough to be his daughter, if he had one?'
âWhich he does.
You
, should a reminder be needed.'