Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part Three (10 page)

B
efore I knew it
, it was time to fly to Toronto for the NHL Awards. Jimmy’s nervousness and April’s excitement made me realize what a big deal the event was. I wasn’t excited about having to walk a red carpet in heels and a fancy dress, but I figured that everything else would be fun. April had helped me find an appropriate dress and arranged for her friend, Magenta, to do my hair and make-up. Apparently, I couldn’t even be trusted to dress myself.

I arrived the afternoon before and met Jimmy at our swanky downtown hotel.

“Hey, you.” I gave him a big hug, and he squeezed me back.

“How was your flight?”

“Great. I’m starved though. Can we go eat?”

I dropped my suitcase and garment bag and looked around our room. “Oh my God, the bathroom has a glass wall. And there’s only one bed in the room.”

“So?” he replied. But there was a tiny smirk on his face.

“So? How can we sleep in the same bed, and not—you know.” Was I an idiot to assume our hotel room would have two beds? When I travelled for hockey, we had them, and I knew Jimmy did as well. This room oozed seduction, which would be perfect if we were actually having sex.

“It’s a big bed,” Jimmy pointed out. It was king-sized bed, but no bed was going to be big enough to keep the two of us apart all night.

I exhaled. “Look, maybe we can ask for a room with two beds. I bet they have them.”

“Don’t do that.” Jimmy sounded panicked.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s like I’m whipped doing this whole deal with you. If anyone found out we weren’t even having sex….” He sighed loudly.

I stared at him. “Are you serious? All that counts is that people think you’re a stud?”

“Stop. You’re putting words in my mouth. It’s great being with you, but of course I wish we were having sex. Don’t you?”

I did. And it wasn’t like I told anyone that we weren’t having sex. It was all so frustrating; the dating game had been a stupid idea.

“Sorry, Jimmy. I’m frustrated too.”

“Better get some food into you,” Jimmy suggested. I’d deal with all this later. We were supposed to meet his parents for dinner, but first Jimmy had arranged to meet one of his teammates, Grant Mossman. He met us in the lobby bar with his girlfriend, Kaitlin. Kaitlin was as blonde and beautiful as I assumed all the Blackhawks girlfriends would be. She seemed really friendly. Jimmy wanted me to know people before I got to Chicago, but I wasn’t really worried. I never had trouble making friends, and we could all bond over hockey. After drinks and yummy tapas, Kaitlin insisted that we made the traditional chick trip to the washroom

I looked in the mirror and realized I should have taken a shower after my flight. The fancier the mirror, the scruffier I appeared.

“James is such a cutie—but he’s so young.” Kaitlin was reapplying lipstick even though hers already looked perfect.

“I guess.” Jimmy was only twenty, but he had already accomplished so much. He acted way older than me.

“Are you two high school sweethearts or something?” Kaitlin stared at me in the mirror. The contrast between her model-perfect looks and my all-natural appearance was huge.

“No, I actually live on the other side of Canada.”

“No way! You guys are like two peas in a pod,” she said. But there was something in her tone that made me think that wasn’t a good thing.

“What do you mean?”

She widened her eyes and smiled. “It’s only that I heard you were older, and I thought that James could use someone more—savvy—you know, to help him manoeuvre his way through the sharks.”

I made my eyes equally wide. “You mean the San Jose Sharks?” I asked.

She squinted at me, wondering if I could really be that out of it. “Oh, never mind. Let’s go.”

Kaitlin was clearly a bitch, but I wasn’t quite sure what her motivations were. She wasn’t after Jimmy, because she had her own boyfriend. But she definitely wanted to get rid of me. Still, I felt there was a bit of truth behind her words. Everything Jimmy had told me about Chicago made me think that it was a big city with a lot of challenges. Sure, I could listen to his problems, but was that enough?

We went out with Jimmy’s parents to a nice French place for dinner called
Le Select.
It reminded me of our French dinner in Vancouver, which gave me a quick rush of lust.

When I stayed with his family in New Brunswick, his mom seemed to be warming up to me. But tonight she seemed to have cooled off. Or maybe she was concerned about Jimmy, who seemed stressed. He was worrying aloud about the awards ceremony.

Paul was charming as always. “Well, the voting is all done now, Jim. Nothing you can do, so don’t distress yourself. Let’s enjoy dinner.”

Agnes muttered to me. “He used to be more relaxed when you were around—what happened to that? Well, at least when you go to Chicago with him, there’ll be someone for him to turn to with his troubles.”

Apparently Jimmy was assuming the win here and had told his mom I’d be moving in with him. That made me a little nervous. But she was right about Jimmy’s unrelieved tension—all due to the lack of nice, relaxing sex in our relationship.

It was disconcerting to find out that Agnes wanted me to take care of Jimmy. Frankly, I felt like I was getting pressured from all sides and with nothing to look forward to other than tricky sleeping arrangements and the chance to screw up on a red carpet. Why did I think this awards weekend would be fun?

By the time we got back to the room, I was exhausted from the long day. All I wanted to do was sleep, but I needed to take some precautions first.

“Kelly, you’re being ridiculous.” Jimmy spoke up from his side of the bed.

I had taken the extra pillows and built a wall on the bed between us.

“Oh please, like you’re not going to try to have sex with me? You’ll be one of those sleep-fucking guys. You’ll wait till I’m unconscious and then do it.”

“If I give you my word I won’t have sex with you, will you take these stupid pillows off? There’s not enough room for me to sleep.”

“Jimmy, you’re naked! Like that’s not a clue.”

I had tried really hard not to look at him before he got into bed, but failed miserably. He looked so hot that I would be the one who turned into a sleep-fucking person. He was cut, tanned and smokin’. The pillow wall was also to keep me from attacking him.

“I never wear anything to bed,” he protested.

“I bet you do on road trips. You could have worn something, you know, for decency’s sake.”

Jimmy started to laugh. “For decency’s sake? You sound like my granny. Stop being such a prude. Anyway, you’re wearing enough clothes for both of us.”

I was wearing an oversize t-shirt and shorts. He sighed, then got up and pulled some black boxer briefs over his muscular ass—not that I was watching. Once he got back in bed, I felt a hand snake under the pillow wall and poke me in the side.

“C’mon, Kelly-baby. We don’t have to have sex, we could just cuddle.”

Like I’d fall for that. Instead, I held on to his hand. I was wide-awake since I was still on Vancouver time. Jimmy was happy that we were at least in bed together. I could hear him chuckling away on the other side of the pillows.

“What are you laughing about?”

“You. In the glass bathroom. You fiddled with the blinds for so long, and I gotta tell you—it didn’t work. You tilted them wrong, and I could see everything.”

“What? You were watching me pee? That’s so gross.” I desperately tried to remember what else I had done. I remembered flossing my teeth, but nothing too embarrassing.

“I’m not that weird, but I sure watched you get undressed.” He started laughing louder.

I grabbed the nearest pillow and whacked him in the head with it. “Stop laughing at me, you perv!”

“Oh, that’s the way you want to be.” Jimmy grabbed his pillow and hit me back. We started whacking each other and pillows were flying everywhere. Jimmy grabbed an extra pillow and started hitting me with a pillow in each hand. I was winding up for a big hit when he hit me in the stomach, and I tumbled off the bed.

“Are you okay?” Jimmy was leaning over the edge of the bed and looking down at me, all concerned.

“I’m dead,” I told him, closing my eyes. The carpeting and pillows on the floor had broken my fall, and I was fine. “I bet you’re sorry you laughed at me now that I’m dead.”

“I don’t think you’re dead. I think a little CPR will cure you.” Jimmy jumped off the bed and landed beside me. He started kissing me, planting his mouth sideways on top of mine. He opened up my mouth and breathed heat into me. I didn’t kiss him back though, and after a few minutes he stopped.

“Hmm, not working. Time for chest compressions.” He put both hands on my breasts and started massaging them firmly.

“Stop it! I’m alive, I’m fine.” I was giggling, and I grabbed his wrists, but he was making me feel hot.

“No, you may think you’re feeling better, but you may relapse into death, if I don’t keep up the CPR.” He kept his hands on my breasts and started kissing me again. I opened one eye and saw that he already had an erection in his boxer briefs. I swallowed.

Yeah, I really, really wanted to have sex with him, but I felt like I had worked so hard not to. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Phil. Jimmy’s eyes were half-closed and his mouth slightly open, and I knew exactly what he wanted. Hell, I wanted it too. I sighed loudly.

“Nooooo, don’t say what I think you’re gonna say,” he pleaded.

“Jimmy, we can’t. We need to know how we get along without sex—if we’re genuinely compatible. I’m sorry, I hate telling you no. It’s really hard on me too.”

I tried to get up, but he kept at me, kissing my neck and down my chest and running his hands over me. “What we've got between us is really special. People are not attracted to each other like this every day.” He kissed me hard and pushed his tongue in. I could feel myself getting hotter, and my resolve starting to melt. 

“C’mon, Kelly, you want it—you know you want it. It’s okay, nobody will know.”

I was so tempted, but he started using his persuasive voice, which I hated. That was a total turn-off. “I’ll know. Stop it, Jimmy.” I tried to pull his hands away, but he kept touching me. He scowled at me, and for a moment I thought he might try to force the issue. “I mean it, stop now!”

He closed his eyes and groaned. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

I watched his perfect body walk away. Well almost perfect; there was no question he had a big-ass butt.

He got into the bathroom, and when he snapped the lights on, I realized he was right and I could see inside. Jimmy leaned over and angrily yanked up the blinds and then the whole bathroom was like a stage. He stripped off his underwear and stepped into the glass shower stall. The water coursed over the sculpted definition of his body. He stretched his neck, and the water fell on his closed eyes and flattened his hair against his skull. He lifted his arm and the water fell in streams down his triceps. It ran down his concave abs and down his muscular ass, past the deep indentation above his thigh that I liked to touch. His solid body looked gilded by the water and warm lighting.

Lying in the dark room, I felt like I was at some chick porn performance. Then he reached down and took his cock in his hand and began jerking it, slowly and rhythmically. I could not stop watching him, and I wanted him so badly. It was a physical feeling, like a column of emptiness inside me. I longed to feel the hard definition of his wet body and to taste his warm mouth, his sweaty flesh, and his salty come.

The flicking motion of his wrist quickened, and he moved his hips so I could see the red tip of his cock emerging from his fist. Then he opened his eyes and even though it seemed impossible that he could see me in the darkened room, it was like he was staring right at me. “
You see, Kelly, this is what you drive me to do. I want you so badly.”
As he closed his eyes and let himself feel the release of his orgasm, I buried myself in the pillows and exhaled in frustration.
“I want you too, Jimmy.”

Fuck my life.

J
ames

I
was ironing
my dress shirt and worrying about where Kelly was. She had left over two hours ago to get her hair done or something. Why was it taking so long? We had to leave in about half an hour.

Yeah, I was maybe a little nervous, but the tension between Kelly and me wasn’t helping. I still didn’t get why she hadn’t decided that we should get back together. My schedule was so packed that I couldn’t keep flying to Vancouver, and she wasn’t being very cooperative about meeting me different places either.

I hoped this weekend would be a turning point for us—but that wasn’t happening so far. Maybe if I won tonight, that would help to convince her. I peeled off my t-shirt and jeans, and then put the shirt on. I put one cufflink on, but the other one was tricky.

The cardlock clicked, and Kelly walked in. She looked incredible. Her hair was all done up with sparkly diamonds, her eyes looked totally exotic, and her face was glowing.

“Well?” she asked.

“Wow, you look really beautiful.” In case that offended her, I added, “You always look beautiful, of course.”

Then I looked at the rest of her. Her dress was made of a shiny yellow material that clung to her body. Her shoulders were bare and her tits—man, they looked bigger and higher than usual. I couldn’t take my eyes off them.

Kelly noticed I was staring and covered her chest with her coat.

“I feel kind of exposed. April got me this dress. Is it too much? I prefer something more covered up.”

I shook my head. “No, you look great. Hot, but not, y’know, in a bad way. Were you walking around downtown Toronto like this?” If so, she’d probably been causing traffic accidents.

She laughed. “No, I got changed in the ladies room in the lobby. I wanted you to get the full effect. It took Magenta—you know, the makeup artist—ages to get me looking like this.”

“Totally worth it.” This was yet another way Kelly was the perfect girlfriend. She was naturally beautiful, but she could get all fixed up too. She was someone to be proud of. “Hey, can you help me with my cufflinks?”

She neatly fastened the cuff and looked down. “Are you wearing pants too?”

“Very funny. My tuxedo is hanging on the closet door.”

We got all ready in no time and the venue was very close. There was a big crowd waiting outside the theatre. We walked down an actual red carpet, which was sort of cool. Kelly was beside me but ducked out of the way whenever fans wanted photos.

“Why are you hiding?” I asked her.

“They want to see you, not me.”

“Only if they’re blind, you’re the best part of us.”

She shook her head. “You’re the famous person. You’re the one who’s accomplished so much.”

I had to do some interviews. “Why don’t you see if you can find my parents?” Kelly nodded and disappeared into the main theatre area. Twenty minutes later I was done and went to look for them. I found my family right away.

“Where’s Kelly?” I asked.

“She went off to get a photo,” my mom explained. “One of her hockey heroes is here.”

“Who?” I felt a little jealous. Wasn’t I her hockey hero?

My mom shrugged and asked how I was doing tonight.

“I’m good. Feeling good.” I looked around and spotted the bright yellow of Kelly’s dress across the lobby. “I’ll be right back.”

As I got closer, I realized Kelly was with Miller Carswell! Was he her hockey hero? Did she not remember that I was up against him for the Calder? He had more points than me, but only because I’d missed games when I got injured. He was standing way too close and leering at her. I saw Kelly shaking her head and trying to back away, but he grabbed her arm. In two strides, I got between them.

“Jimmy!” Kelly put her arm around me, and her touch dissolved my anger.

“Are you kidding me? You’re still with him?” Carswell laughed nastily. “I told you before, I can show you a way better time than Mr. Clean.”

“Let’s go.” Kelly pulled me away before I could say anything.

“Why were you even talking to him? Do you know who he is?”

“Of course I know. But he remembered me from the club that night at the World Juniors. You know, when April, Karen, and I were pretending to be sisters?”

I remembered, and I hadn’t liked that side of Kelly. She acted like a completely different person with her girlfriends. “You’re going to get in trouble if you keep pulling stunts like that. I can’t leave you alone for even one minute with all these guys around.”

“I can look after myself,” Kelly protested. Then she squeezed my arm. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. I didn’t mean to upset you. But you shouldn’t be jealous or anything, that’s dumb.”

“You know when I’ll trust you? When you actually commit to being my real girlfriend. Was he your hockey hero?”

“That hotdog? No way.” Her voice was scornful, and I felt better. She held her camera up to show me. “Look.”

There was a photo of Kelly with Mike Babcock, and I couldn’t help grinning. I bent down and gave her a quick kiss.

“Oh no, I got lip gloss on you.”

She reached up and wiped my lip with her finger. I captured her wrist in my hand. “You’re cute,” I told her. I felt a swelling of pride. Of course, Carswell wanted her—anyone would. She was so beautiful tonight, and she was turning heads everywhere she went. Good thing I hadn’t said anything to him and caused a scene.

“
A
nd the Calder Trophy for Rookie
of the Year goes to—from the Washington Capitals—Miller Carswell.”

Fuck. I hoped that I was hiding all the disappointment I felt. My mom squeezed my arm on one side, and I heard Kelly sigh on the other. I watched Carswell walk up to the front, toss his stupid long hair, and give a flippant thank you speech. He probably thought it was funny.

I looked over at Kelly. She was watching him on the stage. Maybe she wished she had taken him up on his offer, so she could be partying with a winner tonight. Her eyes met mine, and she looked so sad and sympathetic that I turned away. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me; I wanted her to look up to me.

We went to the after-party. It was an okay time. Mosser was there with his girlfriend, Kaitlin. When she wasn’t with me, Kelly spent a lot of time talking to a couple of elderly men. She didn’t go near Carswell all night. We left early, along with my parents, and headed back to the hotel.

“Are you okay, Jim?” my mom wondered.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay, we’ll see you two for breakfast in the morning?” she asked.

“Agnes, let the kids sleep in,” my dad urged.

“But we won’t get another chance to see Kelly,” my mother said. “She’s leaving tomorrow.”

Kelly watched me for a cue. Well, it wasn’t like we were going to tire ourselves with sex or anything.

“We’ll see you for breakfast,” I told them. “Around 10:00?”

They agreed, and we all went up to our rooms.

“Who were those old guys you were talking to?” I wondered in the elevator.

“Oh, they played NHL hockey back in the day, and they got invited to present an award. It was really cool talking to them. This one guy, John, was telling me how much he hates it when teams dump in the puck. He said, ‘In my day, you would have gotten benched if you gave up the puck.’ They were really interesting.”

I liked that Kelly was genuine. She’d rather talk to hockey people than hang out with the cool crowd. But Kelly’s good qualities only made me feel worse. Every good thing about her made her more desirable and less attainable. Why weren’t we back together yet? It was starting to really bother me—on top of everything else.

Not winning the Calder was huge. At times like this, the future looked so bleak—like everything was going to hell. The award represented all the things in life I wasn’t going to get. An NCAA championship. Being first draft pick. Making the playoffs this year. Kelly. Maybe I was fooling myself to dream that I could be the best and win everything I’d dreamed of. Everything seemed so black.