Holding Her Hand (Reed Brothers Book 15) (16 page)

The room is completely silent and I fear that I have messed up entirely.

But then Ryan grabs me and hugs me tightly, his chest shaking with laughter. His friends bark out laughter too, and one of them gets up and pulls out a chair for me. He rolls his arm like he’s inviting me to sit on a throne.

“
No, I can
’
t. I don
’
t want to interrupt your game
.”

“
Are you any good
?” the one who referred
to my vagina asks.

“
Maybe. Since I have a vagina, you
’
ll never find out
.” I rock back and forth on my heels.

Ryan motions for me to sit and he stands behind me.

“
Are you sure
?” I ask.

Ryan nods and winks at me. I shrug and wait for them to deal the cards.

Two hours later, I’m sitting with a stack of chips in front of me and I have four new friends. They were a quiet bunch while we played,
since their hands were full of cards, so all I had to do was try to be a good opponent. Apparently I was too good, because they’re all sulky.

I win the last hand and pull the chips over to my side of the table.

“
You kicked ass
,” Ryan says. He’s been standing behind me on and off the whole time, except for when he left to go make a grilled cheese sandwich for me. He even took a sandwich and chips
out to my driver, who has been waiting in the hallway all this time.

“
Are they mad
?” I ask him.

“
No. I think they want to study your vagina to find out how you beat them
.” He laughs.

The four men nod in unison, their heads bobbling like exaggerated dashboard dolls. “
We like vaginas
,” one of them says. He points to the sandy-haired one. “
Well, except for him
.”

“
I wouldn
’
t mind looking at a
vagina
,” that one rushes to say. “
I just don
’
t want to put my dick in one
.”

I laugh. Because gay men telling jokes about vaginas is funny.

They get up and start to put their coats on. I push the money from cashing in the chips back toward them. “
Here. I can
’
t keep it
.”

They look at me like I just tried to murder their grandmothers. Or kill their cats. Or chop off their balls. “
You won. You
keep it. But you have to come back next week to give us a chance to win it back
.”

I look at Ryan and he nods his head slowly, smiling at me. He looks happy. “
Maybe
,” I tell them. I feel kind of bad for sitting myself down in the middle of the group and then taking all their money.

One by one, they tell me goodbye, and then Ryan and I are completely alone. “
Did I do that wrong
?” I ask Ryan.

“
Do what wrong
?” he asks.

“
Should I have let them win
?” I stare at him, looking for clues.

He tosses his head back and laughs.

There’s one thing I have learned tonight. Deaf people are loud. These guys made a ton of noise with laughing squeaks and wonderful guffaws. But it was a good thing to experience, just like Ryan’s laughter is.

“
I love it when you laugh like that
,” I tell him.

He stalks
slowly toward me. “
You do
?”

I grin and step back, but he comes quicker for me. I turn and run, because he looks like he wants to play, and he hooks an arm around my waist and lifts me from the floor. I kick and bat at his hand until he sits down on the couch and pulls me into his lap. He turns me sideways so I can face him.

“
Where did you learn to play poker
?” he asks.

“
Emilio
.” I wiggle in
his lap and he adjusts me so that more leg than bottom is on him, and he leans me back against the armrest so that he’s partially over me.

“
Emilio
’
s a good dad
.”

“
Really good. So different from my real dad, but so good at the same time
.” I can’t even explain it to him. They’re like night and day, but they do have a lot in common, mainly that they both loved me to distraction. With Emilio, I
have never felt like a sad adopted girl. I feel like a daughter. His daughter.

“
I like seeing you without gloves
,” Ryan says, and he lifts my arm so he can press a quick kiss against my tender wrist. My arms are a little sore, but in a good way. “
It
’
ll feel like a sunburn tomorrow
,” he says.

“
Really
?”

He nods. “
Probably
.”

“
Should I wear gloves when I meet your parents
?” I watch his face closely.

He rocks his head back and forth like he’s thinking about it, and my heart clenches. Then he says, “
No. Mom doesn
’
t mind tattoos
.” He points to his own full sleeves. “
Have you seen me lately
?” He grins. “
She
’
ll be fine with it
.” He points to his lip. “
She hates the piercings, though
.”

“
I like your friends
.”

He kisses my lips. “
They like you too. Jackson wanted to know if he could ask you out
.”

“
What did you tell him
?”

“
That you don
’
t date losers
.”

I laugh. “
Who did you tell them I am
?” He had spoken to them occasionally, but I was so busy watching my cards and their faces that I missed most of their responses.

“
My girlfriend
,” he signs. He looks wary, though. “
Is that all right
?”

I nod. “
Yes. It
’
s all right
.”

He grins. “
Good
.” He jostles me so I look at him. “
Can you stay for a
while
?”

I nod and scoot off his lap, my heart thundering in my chest. “
I can stay all night
.”

He jerks a thumb toward the door. “
What about your man?”

“What about him?”

“Is he just going to sit out there?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes
.” I laugh. “
That
’
s his job. If he gets tired, someone will come and relieve him.”

“Seriously
?”

I laugh at the stricken look on his face. “
Seriously. What
’
s wrong
?” I ask.

His brow furrows. “
Kind of makes it awkward putting the moves on you while he
’
s outside. That
’
s all
.”

“
His job is to notice nothing
,” I try to explain.

“
Can you send him home
?”

“
For how long
?” I ask.

“
All night, I hope
.” This time he blushes, and it’s something I didn’t expect. I love that he’s unsure. I love that he’s wondering how far we can go.

I get out of his lap and go to
the door. I open it and lean out. The security guy is at the end of the hall, staring out the window. “I think you can call it quits tonight,” I call to him. He turns around. “I’m going to spend the night.”

“Is the apartment secure?” he asks.

“You can come and check it.” I motion him inside, where he checks the locks. “Go home. Get some sleep.”

He nods and says, “I’ll wait until you lock the
door.”

I close the door and bolt it, and wait until I hear his footsteps retreat. “
I
’
m all yours
,” I say to Ryan.

Suddenly, he backs me up against the door and lifts me off my feet, pressing me hard against the wall. My legs lift and wrap around his waist, and I lock my feet behind his back. “All mine,” he says against my lips. It’s more like a rush of full wind than words, but I get it. “All
night?”

I nod, and then he kisses me, and I lose any fears I had about whether or not he wanted me to stay, because he’s pressed hard against my belly. He rocks against me, and I grab hold of his shoulders.

He takes me to his bedroom, and I know that I will never, ever be the same. Not ever.

Ryan

She trembles in my arms and I have never felt anything as sweet as this girl feels in my arms. I’ve had girlfriends. I’ve had sex. But I’ve never had sex with a girlfriend I cared about the way I care about her. She consumes my waking moments and then she meets me in my dreams.

I lay her back on my bed, and she stares up at me, her dark hair a halo on the pillow around her. I pull my
shirt over my head and lean on one knee between her spread legs, balancing myself over her.

She pulls her lower lip between her teeth and bites down. When she lets it go, I can see the imprint of her teeth in the tender skin, so I suck it into my mouth and lave it gently with my tongue.

She moans against my lips. I can feel the rumble of it in her chest.

I can’t talk to her while I’m hovering
over her, so I ease down beside her. “
Do you want to talk
?” I ask.

She smiles and shakes her head.

I smile back. I can’t help it. “
Do you want to watch a movie
?”

She shakes her head again and her smile grows even wider.

“
Do you want to get naked
?”

She laughs against my chest and nods.

“
Are you sure
?”

Her hand falls in the sparse dusting of hair on my chest and she scratches me lightly,
and it shoots straight to my dick. I reach down and adjust him behind my zipper. Her eyes follow my movement.

“
Did you want to talk
?” she asks. She grins cheekily at me.

I shake my head. She bends her head and tongues my nipple, and then catches it tightly between her teeth. I cry out and lurch back, covering it with my hand. “
Sharp teeth
!”

She laughs. “
Sorry! You jerked
!”

I grab the edge
of her shirt and lift it until I expose her bra. “
Let
’
s see how you like teeth
,” I say, and I attack her nipple from outside her bra, snarfing and growling playfully as I rub my face all over it. She giggles and I can feel it move from her body into mine.

I help her pull her shirt over her head, and then I stop, because unveiling her will be like taking a cover off a precious piece of art, and
I want to savor every moment of it. “
May I
?” I ask, and I point to the bra hook that’s between her breasts.

She nods, still chewing on that lower lip.

I unhook the delicate clasp and pull the two sides apart. She squeezes her eyes shut and her breaths fall heavy against my forehead. “So pretty,” I say out loud. Her breasts are small and round, with perfect rosy nipples.

“
So are you
,” she replies.

I take her nipple into my mouth and tug it gently, my hand cupping the tender underside of her breast. She squirms for a second, and then she freezes. Her hand threads into the hair at the back of my head and she holds me in place. I look up at her without releasing her nipple, and she finally sees me, and nods her head.
This is okay
, she lets me know.
This is fine. This is what I want. This is
us
.

She smells like vanilla and lilacs, like cookies and subtle flowers, and she tastes like heaven. Her nipple pebbles against my tongue, and I release it long enough to pay the same attention to the one on the other side.

She tugs my hair, so I look up. “
You
’
ve done this before
?” she asks.

“
Sex
?”

She nods.