Holidays in Heck (32 page)

We don't have an indoor climbing wall, but the ascent to our second floor is steep. We put ropes and bike helmets on the kids and let them climb the stairs. “Take some laundry with you when you go.”

“Real cruise ships have hot tubs,” Muffin complained.

“Get in the water,” I said. “It's hot, it's a tub. What's the problem?”

Our children turned out to be every bit as peevish, bored, and quarrelsome during home travel as they usually are when traveling. But we saved money. In fact, Mrs. O and I saved enough money to hire a very reliable, if somewhat strict, professional nanny to stay with the kids. We'll be at the Brasserie Lipp.