Hollywood Princess (25 page)
Read Hollywood Princess Online
Authors: Dana Aynn Levin
Stroking my hair
while I cried, Danny murmured, “Baby, I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”
Danny held me until I regained my composure enough to speak.
“Are they right?” I asked. “Did you cheat on me?”
“I wish that wasn’t a direct question.”
“Since December?” Danny couldn’t look at me. He understood the reference. “Yes,” he answered in a near whisper, ashamed.
I tried to keep myself in check but
failed miserably. My insides froze like ice. I shook uncontrollably. I shivered. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I hugged myself. Danny wrapped his arms around me.
“Don’t touch me,” I hissed
. He didn’t listen. Danny knew I needed his warmth.
Soon,
I calmed enough to speak again.
“Why
? How could you? I thought you loved me.”
“I do love you
. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said. Then he paused. “This wasn’t about you Elizabeth.”
“How is this not be about me?”
I glimpsed sadness in his eyes. “Winter break scared me. Our parents accepted us. We had a great time. I was as excited as you were to share our news with our friends at Ali’s party. My date was the most beautiful, girl whom I love very much.”
Danny
stopped for my reaction. I sniffled, blinking back tears. hat had been a wonderful night. The entire break had been great.
“I was so happy because I’d spent
the break with you, Eli. Then the guys discussed their vacations. When I recounted mine, they teased me about staying at my in-laws house. They called you my wife and mirrored what Dad had said.”
“What did Steve say to you?” I was furious. How dare Steve interfere!
“Dad loves you, but he thinks we’re too young. He doesn’t want us to be like him and Mom. He thinks I shouldn’t commit to never dating other girls yet.”
“So the minute you had the opportunity you had to prove him right?”
Tears tumbled down my cheeks.
“
Eli, I’m ashamed of what I’ve done. I panicked, baby. I’m an idiot. I wanted to prove I was still single. I should have handled it more maturely. I shouldn’t have cared what they said.”
“
You flaunted our relationship to the people that count the most! Our childhood friends. Our families. You spent two weeks in my parents’ home sharing my bed! I thought that meant something.” Tears spilled again.
“It did.
It does,” Danny said contritely. “You’re all that matters to me, Eli.”
“Bu
t it wasn’t enough. Not that you asked, but I’m not ready for marriage either. I’m only eighteen! But I thought you were committed to us. Why else would you share my bed in my parents’ house? How can I ever face them? I’m so embarrassed.”
“You’ve done nothing to be embarrassed
about. You’re as much in love with me as I am with you.”
“How can you say that?
You don’t know what love is. I was so naive. I thought if I were the one sharing your bed you’d have no reason to stray. The thought of you with another girl makes me ill. I threw up last night.”
“I’m sorry,
Eli. I’m so sorry. I do know what love is, because love is what I feel for you. This wasn’t done to hurt you.”
“I turned a blind eye for
so long. I pretended it didn’t exist. But those girls.”
“
Eli, how can I make it up to you? How can I make it better?”
“I don’t know that you can. It’s happened. It’s out there. I feel so empty.
”
“What do you want to do?”
Danny whispered.
“I’m so confused
.”
“You’re not breaking up with me, are
you?” Danny asked tentatively. “I know I deserve it, but please don’t.” He panicked as he considered my options.
“I haven’t decided. Maybe.
Probably.” I sniffled loudly.
“
Baby, no! I can’t lose you. I love you, Eli,” Danny pleaded.
“I don’t want to, Danny
, but. I have my pride.”
“I hurt you.
Just what I didn’t want to do.”
“Yeah, well guess what?
Elizabeth Jacobs is breakable.”
“No.
You’re just young and inexperienced.”
“What does that mean?
If I’d had five other boyfriends first this wouldn’t hurt?”
“Yeah,” Danny
smiled, “Because then you wouldn’t even be my girlfriend.”
“Daniel, you’re a hypocrite.”
“Absolutely,” he smiled again and kissed my head.
“Don’t do that!
I have not forgiven you!”
“Yeah.
I wouldn’t forgive me yet either.” Danny smiled then added, “Better this happened now than in fifteen years.”
“You are not your father, Daniel
.”
“I’m just like Dad.
Find the most wonderful girl in the world, have her fall in love with you, then break her heart. What’s wrong with us Newman’s?”
“Danny, y
ou’re not Steve,” I said firmly. “You told me the risks of loving you. I chose to ignore them. I was having too much fun.”
Danny grinned. “Me too.
I was having too much fun.”
I slapped his face. Hard. Danny
winced at the sting and rubbed his cheek.
“With you, Elizabeth.
You’re the only one I have too much fun with.”
“I
have to go. I need my space.”
“You do.
I deserve whatever you throw at me.”
Danny took my hand again and looked at me with
pleading eyes. “Eli, if you do break up with me, can you tell me by Wednesday?”
What the hell?
“Wednesday? I can’t put a timetable on my decision.” I frowned.
“I’ll need to cancel
our plans for next weekend.”
“Next weekend?” I paused. “Right.
Valentine’s Day.” I frowned.
It would have been my first time having someone to celebrate with. I had imagined the roses, at least two dozen red ones that Danny would have bought. We would have gone somewhere romantic for dinner, perhaps The Beach House. Maybe this time we would have stayed at the Inn. That would have been just like Danny. He could be so sentimental.
“I had a great weekend planned. I’ll cancel it. There’s always next year.”
“That’s
so unfair,” I sniffled. Tears ran down my cheeks. “You’ve probably planned the most romantic time.”
“Of course
I did. I love spoiling you.”
“You’re impossible,” I sighed and wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.
“I do believe you love me, just in your own peculiar way. That’s what makes this so difficult.” I rose from the bed.
“Will I see you later?”
“I doubt it.”
I took two steps toward the door before coming to a screeching halt.
“Shit!” I exclaimed. “I have to see you at dinner or everyone will wonder. I don’t want you saying anything to anyone, especially not our roommates.”
“We have to keep talking, Eli. As long as we’re talking we can work this out.”
“I doubt we can,” I said sadly.
“I love you, Eli. Remember that.”
I stopped at The Café for lunch. I did not want to relive last night’s debacle at dinner. Forced to smile and act as though nothing were the matter, Danny sat by my side, the ever-adoring boyfriend. Our friends never suspected that all was wrong in the Jacobs-Newman household.
It was a deplorable situation made worse because in spite of my anger and hurt, I found myself enjoying Danny’s attention. I did not want distractions like this while I was so vulnerable.
After my sandwich, I returned to my room where I packed a gym bag and headed to the swimming pool. An hour of laps was the perfect outlet for my energy. The solitude would let my mind drift and hopefully I’d see things more clearly.
By three o’clock I was spent and mentally only marginally improved. I showered and changed to sweats. My damp waves fell down my back creating a wet spot on the back of my shirt. I even wore my fuzzy pink slippers. Nobody was going to get me to leave the comfort of my secure cocoon.
Rachel and Chloe had late classes. Their well-intentioned concern was not what I wanted. I needed to be alone. Peace and quiet! It felt so good.
While I sat at my desk pretending to read French, I was exchanging Facebook messages with Steff. As far as I would tell her, all was well. No need to alert her until I had concrete news to report. I hated this.
An unexpected knock came on the door to the suite. The interruption jarred me. Someone must be looking for Chloe. “BRB” I messaged Steff . “Let me see who it is and get rid of them,” I thought.
I shuffled to the door and opened it. Danny! What was he doing here? I frowned. Then I giggled. There Danny stood, smiling shyly and carrying the largest bouquet I had ever seen. Danny must have purchased every stem the florist had in stock.
“I’ll be right with you. I’m on with Steff.”
I returned to my computer, typed “g2g. DN,” and then I logged out.
Danny had followed me into my room. I sensed hesitation.
“Elizabeth, I’m so sorry about everything,” Danny said quietly. “These are for you,” he added, and he handed me the vase.
The vase was quite heavy, and I placed it on my desk. “They’re lovely,” I said.
I felt unusually timid. I had nothing to say and Danny was silent, awkward. What did he expect? I certainly wasn’t going to jump into his arms.
Danny fidgeted. His eyes were downcast while he mindlessly picked at a cuticle. I had never seen Danny insecure before. Did he not know what he wanted to say, or did Danny fear my rejection? Were Danny not the subject of my ire, I would have felt sorry for him.
“Eli, baby I miss you,” he began in a soft uncharacteristically tentative voice. “I don’t want to be without you. Baby, what can I do to make everything right?”
“Danny, beautiful as these flowers are, if you think this is how to make things right, you’re wrong. I trusted you. I loved you with all my heart. I gave you everything I had.”
“E, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m miserable, baby.”
“I’m miserable too,” I admitted, “But you betrayed me. If I can’t trust you, what do we have? Trust is what’s most important and flowers won’t earn it back.”
“You’re right, Eli.” Danny removed a plastic card from his shirt pocket. He placed it in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it. “Perhaps this can be a start.”
I looked curiously at the plain, unmarked white credit card.
“What is this?” I asked.
Danny smiled, pleased with himself. “It’s my room key. I told security I lost mine so I could get one made for you.”
“Your room key?” Why? I was on the verge of breaking up with him.
Danny wrapped his hands around mine. His hands filled me with their unwelcome warmth.
“I want you to come and go whenever you want,” he explained. “Twenty-four/seven. My room is your room, Eli.”
I gaped at him. The implication was clear. Danny would not give me his key unless I could trust that he would be there alone every evening. A tear escaped my eye.
“Danny, are you sure about this?” I was so vulnerable.
Danny hugged me tightly.
“Yes, I’m sure. I love you, baby.”
I looked into his eyes. The sapphires were filled with depth and sincerity.
“I love you too, Daniel.”
I walked Danny to the door. Standing on toe I kissed his cheek.
Last week I would have been thrilled to pieces if Danny had given me a key to his room. Now I was conflicted. My anger at his betrayal was strong, but if he was trying to demonstrate trust, there was no more powerful a way than this.
I wanted so badly to trust Danny again. Was I gullible if I accepted his key? Was I letting my need to love Danny cloud my judgment?
I needed a confidante.
Ellen had lived through worse, and it placed her in a unique position to provide council.
When I reached her at home,
Ellen was happy to hear from me, but she sensed right away that this call concerned her son.
Without hesitation I explained the situation.
“Oh, Elizabeth,” she empathized, “What does your heart say?”
“My heart? M
y heart says I love Danny.”
“And he loves you. Elizabeth, it sounds
as though you want permission to give Danny another chance. That’s why you didn’t call Miranda.”
I
considered what Ellen was saying. “I suppose,” I answered sheepishly.
“You love Danny
very much Elizabeth and you don’t want to give that up. That’s okay. What he did was despicable, unforgivable even. Is Danny aware that you’re hurt?”
“
I haven’t been shy. Danny knows how hurt I am.”
“Elizabeth, he won’t do it again,” Ellen
said, confident.
“How can you be so certain?”
“Years ago, Steve hurt me similarly, only there was more to it. Danny knows part of it. You can’t keep secrets from someone living in your house. Danny heard us arguing. He heard me crying. We sent Danny to Bromley so we could work things out.”
“I’m so sorry, Ellen.”
“It’s okay, dear. Steve and I went to counseling and our marriage is much stronger now. I sincerely believe that.”
“I c
an’t imagine you and Steve divorced.”
“Neither could we. That’s what saved us.
That and the devastating affect it had on Danny. He’s very sensitive.”
“Danny
doesn’t want anyone to know that, but I know.”
“Of course you do. T
hat’s why Danny will never do this to you again. Danny feels as badly as you do. Part of him died seeing you so hurt. He’s devastated. Danny loves you. He’s crazy about you. He feels terrible knowing he’s violated your trust. But Elizabeth, you can trust Danny. If you want permission to patch things up, you have it. Tell him you want to work it out if that’s what you want.”
“That’s what I want. I can’t imagine not being with Danny.”
“I know, dear. I can’t imagine it either.”
“Ellen, h
ow do I get past the humiliation?”
“
You are Elizabeth Jordan Jacobs. Act it!” Ellen admonished. “Those who may want to hurt you will realize they don’t stand a chance. You need to give yourself back the power.”
Ellen was right. I had been playing the victim. No more
.
“Danny must be trying everything to win you back,” Ellen laughed.
“He is, Ellen. Danny brought me a huge flower arrangement. Then he gave me my own key to his room.”
“
Then hang up and use it Elizabeth. Danny wants to do the right thing. He loves you very much. Remember, you have to follow your heart.”
Ellen was right.
I had the power. I was Miranda Jordan’s daughter. Steven Newman’s son expected no less from me. I owned one of the most recognizable faces in America; time to let it show. Danny always said I should. The new me would be formidable like Mom. Danny deserved the best girlfriend I could be. No girl should be more desirable.
Twenty minutes later I emerged looking
like a proper girlfriend for Danny. I dressed in my favorite jeans tucked into Uggs and a stylish low-cut sweater. My Peretti heart rested just where I wanted Danny’s eyes to alight.
I
wasn’t going to make it easy. Danny needed to win me back. At the same time, I had to show Danny that with me he would have no reason to look elsewhere.
Standing in the hallway outside Danny’s suite, I regarded my new keycard. Danny had told me to use it, but did his roommates know? I starred at the keycard again. If Danny’s roommates were taken by surprise, I would leave it to him to explain.
Taking a deep breath, I inserted the card into its slot and pulled it out.
Miranda Jordan’s daughter let her
self in and found Danny pacing the room, all nervous energy and on a phone call. I waved the card at him. Danny smiled, pleased to see me, and motioned for me to sit. I remained standing.
“I
’ve got to go,” Danny spoke into the phone. “I’ve got company. See you at eight.” He placed the phone on the desk.
Danny
studied my face, my posture, and my cleavage. Noting the heart, he smiled, a shy smile.
“Hey,” I said quietly.
“The card works.”
“I’m surprised to see you
, Eli. I wasn’t expecting you.” There was pain in his eyes and hope in his voice.
“It’s been a long afternoon.”
Then I paused. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
Danny took my hand
s and massaged my finger tops. The warmth of his touch began melting my resolve. I couldn’t help smiling. In return, he smiled back.
“I spoke to Ellen,” I confessed.
“She’s very supportive. She’s been through this.”
“I know,” he answered curtly.
“Did Mom tell you to tell me to go to hell?”
“Not at all.
She provided insight. Ellen wants you to realize you’re not Steve.”
“
I know. I called her too. Mom’s very disappointed and thinks I’m a schmuck.”
“What do you think?”
“She may be right,” he answered and pulled me to his chest. “I’m sorry, baby.” Danny stroked my hair. “I really am so very sorry. I want to make it up to you so badly”
“
I believe you.”
“You do?”
Danny loosened his hold on me to look into my eyes. I nodded. “You do.” He tilted my chin up and gently kissed me.
Danny held me very
closely, as though he were afraid to let go.
“
I love you so much, Elizabeth. I promise I will never hurt you again.”
We kissed again.
All would be good.