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We got back a couple of hours before dark. Grandma built a fire and started boiling water, so it was pure to clean Desi’s wounds. Me and Amin did a few journeys to the Nissan, carrying the loot. I stashed the metal cash boxes in the store room under the main building, then I went down to the stream for a wash. I hadn’t been down without Sami for weeks. The thought that she was dead or captured was freaking me out.

Beck turned up while I was feeling sorry for myself. He washed out his bloody trousers and started rubbing soap in his hair. ‘How’s your leg?’ ‘Torture,’ Beck said. ‘I was tempted to jab myself with the morphine, but Mum says it’s addictive.’

‘Desi?’ ‘He’s getting all the morphine he wants. He’s lost the tips off three fingers.’ ‘Did you see Sami?’ I asked. ‘She was with me until two minutes before the battle started.’ ‘I think she went in the bushes to go to the toilet. That’s the last time I saw her.’ ‘I don’t suppose you’d miss her if she was dead,’ I said. Beck shrugged, ‘I always got on OK with Sami until Edo died.’ ‘I still can’t believe that APC going over our heads. I thought we were dead.’ ‘Maybe we are dead,’ Beck said. ‘And heaven turned out to be a really crappy stretch of jungle.’ I laughed, ‘If we’re dead, this isn’t heaven.’ ‘Mum wants me to get everyone’s splinters out before they get infected. I’ll do yours now if you want.

The tweezers are in my pocket.’ I slid on a pair of shorts and sat on a rock. Beck ran his hand over my chest and face, feeling for spikes of wood. He counted fifteen and began the painful process of plucking them out. It took half an hour. By the end I had streaks of blood trickling everywhere.

I took guard duty once it got dark. There was a shelter at the top of the path, built specially for whoever was on guard. I was tired, but I was thinking about Sami and I knew wouldn’t sleep. Amin sat with me. I was embarrassed to look at the tears running down his face. If one person had to die, I would have picked Don, but Amin was crushed.

I never found out the whole Don and Amin story, but I heard they were cousins and best friends from boyhood. Amin could read our lips, but Don was the only one who understood the strange sounds he made. He couldn’t write, so with Don dead, he was cut off apart from nodding yes or no. I offered Amin a bit of the melted chocolate I found in the Aussie’s backpack. He shook his head.

There were feet crunching on the path. I tapped Amin and we both switched our rifles to automatic. I went running down. Captain had a couple of the women with him and two boys I didn’t recognise. ‘Did you find Sami?’ ‘No,’ Captain said. ‘How far did you look?’ ‘We looked,’ Captain snapped. ‘You’ve been her boyfriend for a month; I’ve been her father for sixteen years. It may surprise you to know it, but I do care about her.’ ‘I just asked.’

‘Jake, I’m tired and I’m in a shitty mood. There’s a chance Sami’s been captured. We’ll stand guard tonight and if she’s not back by morning, we’ll have to move the whole bloody camp.’ Captain looked back at the two new recruits. ‘This is David and Joseph. Casino gave them to us.’ The brothers shook my hands. David was seventeen, my height, but more powerfully built. Joseph was only eleven, but he already had the
I don’t give a shit
look of someone who’d seen a lot of action. One side of his face was badly scarred where he’d been burned. His eyelid hadn’t healed properly, making his whole face twitch when he blinked.

‘These guy’s slept in the truck,’ Captain said, looking at his new recruits. ‘They’ll take over here for a bit. You and Amin might as well get some rest.’

I didn’t want to be alone, but I couldn’t be asked to argue. As I laid in our hut, it sounded like no one else could sleep either. Amo was looking after Desi. Grandma was helping her and Beck had started taking out Captain’s splinters. It’s weird after a battle, you’re tired as hell, but you’re heart won’t stop racing and you can never sleep. I tried for nearly an hour, but all I could do was sweat, worry about Sami and pick at the scabs where the splinters came out. I lit a candle and started wondering what was in the dead Aussie’s pack.

I tipped the whole lot out. There was a radio and a packet of spare AA batteries, binoculars, a set of cutlery, a metal compass, some ammunition and a cloth bag with a Gillette razor and some decent toiletries inside. I was most excited to find socks, boxers and t-shirts. They were a bit big for me, but I’d been rinsing out my only set every day since I got here.

There was also a plastic pouch filled with documents. I took out his passport and flipped it to the picture.
Kieran Paul Montgomery, born 20-11-1974, Townsville QLD, next of kin Eleanor Kate Montgomery, mother
. The other people I killed, I only had a few seconds to remember their faces. Knowing his name and seeing his stuff gave the whole thing gravity.

There was a photo of Kieran when he was about thirteen, standing barefoot with a little brother on either side and his parents behind. He looked stocky and gormless; definitely the kind of kid you’d expect to go out, join an army and get a thrill out of killing stuff. There was a notebook as well, with a newspaper advert pinned inside.

Ex Military Personnel Required For security work in Africa and the Middle East Exceptional Rewards for Suitable Candidates Earn over US$3,000 per month. Tax Free. Call Gold Cross Security
There was a phone number after it and his letter of employment form the Dubai office of Gold Cross. The notebook was full of phone numbers and addresses. Some of the entries were ex-girlfriends:
Donna (London, good shag), Donna (Cairns, now married), Donna (School g.friend)
. I was impressed by the number of women in his book. Right at the back, was a newspaper clipping, stuck down with crinkled up tape:

22 year old Army corporal Kieran Montgomery was sentenced to three years in prison and a further seven years probation, following the stabbing of a doorman outside a Gold Coast nightclub. He also faces a military tribunal following the reported mistreatment of suspects during a UN peacekeeping mission in Indonesia…

stuck underneath. I pulled it out. The PIN number was written where it had been taped. . . . ‘OWWWW, God. Will you leave my sodding nipple alone for five minutes?’

She was filthy and she smelled bad, but she was alive. ‘Morning,’ Sami said. ‘Man… Are you OK? I couldn’t sleep, I was worrying about you so much.’ ‘You seemed to be sleeping fine when I walked in.’ I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was just starting to get light. ‘I suppose you have to doze off eventually or you’d drop dead.’ She stood with one boot on either side of me and knelt over my stomach. ‘Kiss me.’ ‘No way,’ I laughed. ‘Your breath stinks.’ She pinned my shoulders, blew her disgusting breath under my nose and ran her tongue up my cheek.

Somehow, it managed to be sexy and gross at the same time. ‘Some boyfriend you are. I go missing and you don’t even want to kiss me.’ I put my hand around her neck and gave her a good snog. ‘I want to do a lot more than kiss you… Just, not the way you smell at the moment.’ ‘This must count as a special occasion,’ Sami said. I nodded eagerly, ‘There won’t be anyone down at the stream this early.’

We walked back from the pool, checking in to see Desi on the way. His hand was a mess, but it looked like he’d be OK. ‘So,’ I said, back in the hut. ‘What happened?’ ‘It’s embarrassing,’ Sami said. ‘I’m gonna make some bullshit heroic story up for public consumption,

but I’ll tell you the truth if you swear to keep it secret.’ This sounded good. ‘OK,’ I nodded. ‘I swear on my life.’ Sami smiled, ‘No, on me ripping off your nipple if you ever tell anyone else.’ ‘OK, on the nipple. I swear. Just tell us.’ ‘You know the last time I saw you, I said I was going to the toilet?’ I nodded, ‘Yeah.’ ‘Well, it was getting pretty stinky near to the road, so I walked a couple of hundred metres into the trees and pulled down my trousers. While I’m sitting there peeing, this bullet hammered into a tree right beside me. I hadn’t heard any noise before that; it must have been the first shot fired. I jumped out of my skin and hit my head on a branch. When I came around, it was dark and I still had my trousers round my ankles.’ I started to laugh, ‘That’s superb. I’m telling everyone.’ ‘You swore on the nipple,’ Sami said. I was laughing so much I could hardly breathe. ‘Can it Killer, it’s not
that
funny.’ ‘It is,’ I gasped. ‘So what are you going to tell everyone else?’ Sami shrugged, ‘Saw a couple of bad guys in the trees, chased them, killed them and couldn’t find my

way back.’ ‘Sound’s plausible. How did you get back?’ ‘When I came around, I wandered to the road and realised you were all gone. There was army everywhere. I nicked one of their big Nissans and drove home.’

There was a chance the government would flood the area with bad guys to try and get it’s money back, so camp went into stealth mode. We didn’t go on raids. We camouflaged our vehicles even more than usual, moved a couple of huts under the trees so that they wouldn’t be seen if a helicopter went over, kept fires to a minimum and had two men on guard 24/7.

With the pressure of missions off us, we caught up on sleep and I relaxed for the first time in a month. I hunted with Beck most mornings. David and Sami came a few times and we all pissed Beck off by mucking about and not taking it seriously.

Me and Sami discovered our spot by accident. We were holding hands when we came to the giant crater a kilometre from camp where copper was mined before the war. All the trees had been taken out and the topsoil dredged down to the grey ore underneath. The rock would have been drilled, blasted and crushed; then trucked away for refining.

Some of the machinery had been abandoned. There was a massive dump truck, sunk down on deflated tyres. Anything portable, like the seats in the cab or the lamps on the front had been stripped away. What remained was rusty steel, with the odd burst of yellow paint.

Between the rocks, the jungle was growing back. Snakes, birds and lizards lived amidst tufts of grass and saplings. The dominant species was a stalky yellow flower. When a breeze hit, thousands of them swayed gently and sprung back, as if they were waving at us.

Me and Sami always sat in the same place; a shadeless patch of earth along the rim of the crater. We never kissed there, we hardly even spoke. We just laid still staring at the flowers and the clouds. The sun, that sapped our energy when we had to work or travel, made us warm and relaxed; almost like we were melting into each other. When we stood up to walk back to camp, our moist skin ripped apart like strips of sticky tape.

I gave Captain the Aussie’s radio. We didn’t leave it on all the time, because you couldn’t just pop down the newsagent and buy another set of batteries. It was switched on for two fifteen minute bursts a night. Rebel Radio was our side’s cheesy propaganda station. We’d all gather in the main building and listen to the news. We learned of the latest heroic triumphs and our continuing advance against demoralised government troops. On the turn of the next hour, we turned to the government station and got told how rebel troops were failing in their desperate attempt to advance into government territory. The truth laid somewhere between the two sets of lies, but we had no way to know where.

There was always something scary about getting invited to Captain’s office after dark, even though he didn’t have Don to crank up the fear factor anymore. He’d asked me not to bring Sami, which was weird. A twenty centimetre stack of banknotes sat between us on the table.

‘We’re starting raid’s again,’ Captain said. ‘I think enough time has passed for you to go and look for your brother. You can leave with Sami tomorrow.’ ‘Excellent,’ I said. After two weeks dossing about in the sun, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the prospect of doing

anything; but it had to happen sometime. ‘There’s a more personal matter to deal with first,’ Captain said. ‘What’s that?’ ‘Your relationship with my daughter.’ ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘I’ve decided it can’t continue in it’s present form.’ That was bad. Captain wasn’t the sort of girlfriend’s Dad where you could just say I don’t care what

you think and carry on seeing her. ‘I take it you’ve been having sex?’ I’d learned the painful way that it was best not feed Captain lies, or even half truths. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I take it you don’t have a hidden cache of contraceptives?’ ‘No.’ ‘So, sooner or later, you plan on impregnating my daughter?’ ‘I certainly don’t plan to.’ ‘But it can only be a matter of time,’ Captain said. ‘I suppose.’ Captain laughed, ‘You
suppose
. Why do you only suppose?’ ‘OK,’ I nodded. ‘She’s going to get pregnant before much longer.’ ‘Where does that leave Sami?’ Captain asked. ‘We’ll… I love her.’ ‘That’s nice Jake. But what happens if you rescue baby brother, head for home and I’m left with a

sixteen year old daughter who’s been knocked up?’ ‘I wouldn’t do that to her.’ ‘I almost believe you, Jake. You seem like a decent young chap, but I can’t let this relationship go on

without you making a commitment.’ ‘What kind of commitment?’ ‘Marriage.’ Captain stayed quiet for a few moments, watching the thermonuclear explosion going off in my head. ‘That’s insane,’ I eventually spluttered. ‘I’m fifteen years old.’ ‘In my book, if you’re old enough to have a sexual relationship, you’re old enough to get married.’ ‘Well… I…’ It also means that when you leave here, Sami will go with you.’ That was definitely a major up side. I didn’t ever want to leave her. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ ‘If you don’t want to marry her. I’ll have to send you to go and live with Casino’s men.’ ‘But then I’ll never see her again,’ I said desperately. Captain smiled. ‘I can’t even start getting my head around this.’ ‘We’ll you’d better, Jake. I’ve already given it quite a lot of thought; which brings me to this.’ Captain nudged the pile of money on the desk. ‘There are two ways for you to get home. If the rebel push succeeds, you can leave via the east. Take a bus into Uganda, where communications are fairly reliable and contact your Mother from there. This should be straightforward, but you’ll still need this money for food and transport. If we fail in our advance, you could try leaving via the west towards the capital. Even with money, that will still be risky.’ ‘What if Sami doesn’t want to marry me?’ ‘Persuade her. For my sake, as well as yours.’ ‘For your sake?’ I’ve lost a wife and five kids in this war. I want something more for my last child than to die out here

from a bullet. Marry my daughter. Take her somewhere safe. You’re a good person and I know you love her.’ Captain looked quite emotional. ‘Even if I married her here, I’m not sure it would count in England. I’m too young.’ ‘If you love Sami, you’ll find a way to save her. When Edo died, I prayed to god. I begged him to give Sami a chance of life. I think God sent you here to fall in love with her. I think you’re here to answer my prayers.’ ‘It sound’s nuts,’ I shrugged. ‘But I do love her.’ Captain went in his desk drawer. My mind leapt to the torture stuff, but he pulled out a bottle of

whisky and a couple of plastic tumblers. ‘Drink?’ I nodded. He filled my tumbler half way up. I shoved it down in two huge gulps. . . .

‘So, what did Dad want?’ I started to crack up laughing. If I kept my head still, the room carried on moving. ‘Have you been drinking?’ Sami asked. I’d had two huge whiskeys with Captain, plus two beers and some vodka with Jesus and Amin. ‘Absolutely not,’ I slurred. ‘You love me, don’t you?’ Sami smiled. I pulled a vodka bottle out of my jacket. ‘Would you like a drink?’ Sami twisted the top off the bottle and took a couple of mouthfuls. ‘You’re completely pissed, Jake. If you throw up on my sleeping mat, I’m gonna mop it up with your

head.’ ‘Your father is insane.’ Sami laughed and drank a bit more. ‘Why is he insane?’ ‘He thinks God sent me here to save you.’ ‘I know.’ ‘You don’t understand… He wants me to marry you and take you home with me. Otherwise, he’s

gonna make me go and live with Casino’s unit.’ ‘I know,’ Sami said, calmly. ‘What do you mean, you know? Are you listening to a word I’m saying?’ ‘Dad spoke to me this morning when you were out hunting.’ ‘We spent the whole afternoon together and you didn’t say a word.’ Sami smiled, ‘He asked me not to.’ ‘You’re all bloody mad,’ I said. I grabbed the bottle of vodka off Sami and started to guzzle. She snatched it back off me before I drank

the whole lot. ‘Don’t drink any more. We’re supposed to go off looking for Adam in the morning and you’ll be in a

right state.’ She put the bottle to her lips and drained it. ‘What did Captain say?’ I asked. ‘I think his exact words were:
If you get knocked up, I’ll kill the pair of you. Marry him or I’ll kick his

worthless butt out of here.
’ ‘You couldn’t talk him out of it?’ ‘He’s got a point,’ Sami said. ‘If I get pregnant and you abandon me, I’m in a big mess. It’s tough for a

single Mum any place, but what’s it gonna be like for me out here?’ ‘I could still abandon you. Men leave their wives all the time.’ ‘Dad’s religious,’ Sami said. ‘As far as he’s concerned, marriage is a vow made before god. If you break

the vow, he doesn’t have to worry because God will punish you for it.’ ‘The old trident up the arse theory,’ I said. Sami laughed, ‘Pretty much.’ ‘It’s cool anyway,’ I said. ‘I want to marry you. How could anyone not want to? You’re totally hot. You

want to marry me?’ ‘No,’ Sami said. ‘Not after a rubbish proposal like that.’ I pulled my revolver off the shelf and pointed it at my head. Sami started to laugh. ‘I can’t go on without you babe.’ Sami nodded, ‘Better.’ ‘Life wouldn’t be worth living. Will you marry me?’ Sami shrugged, ‘All right then.’ ‘Cool,’ I giggled. ‘Is there any more booze about?’