Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1) (7 page)

“What’s wrong? You don’t really have to go if you don’t want to. I can take you to dinner instead.”

“It’s not that, it’s just this,” she gestured to her face as she yanked away from his touch. “I’m such a mess, and you’ve all been kinder than I deserve, pretending I don’t look like I lost a boxing match. I can’t go to the barbecue like this; it’s humiliating enough that you all had to see.”

Jace paused.

“OK look, do you want me to be honest?” he asked finally.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Jace sighed deeply and ran his hand through his black hair. “OK - the reason I didn’t bring the bruises up was because I didn’t want to bring back the awful memories of falling.”

Falling? What the hell was he talking about? Did he honestly think this was an accident?

“You know,” he said continuing. “From Heaven - I figured living here with us mere mortals was enough punishment.”

“Fall from Heaven?”

“Well clearly, I mean look at you! If there’s such thing as an Angel, it’s you.”

Isabelle allowed herself to smile, her heart feeling lighter. “Your sister is right - you are an idiot.”

He punched the air in triumph. “I knew it! You didn’t deny it.”

She rolled her eyes and rose to her feet, turning away from him and feeling a kick of pleasure when she knew he was following.

He trailed behind her in silence for a few moments which gave Isabelle the chance to start to work through her emotions. Which was obviously only going to lead to disaster.

Day two of her banishment and she wasn’t miserable or at least not
as
miserable. And if it was actually possible she really liked these people, and the way they didn’t look at her with pity or disgust. She especially liked Jace.

She stopped for half a second as she let that sink in, and then quickened her pace.

She liked Jace and she didn’t even really know him, and he sure as hell didn’t know her.

She bit her lip so hard she tasted blood, which started her whole face throbbing with the new wound aggravating the old.

She couldn’t allow herself to like him, would not let herself get too close. She didn’t have much of herself left and she knew,
knew
that if she opened herself up to anyone else she would be left with less than nothing. She wasn’t close to being over Jason’s brutality, so getting close to anyone was a mistake.

Even thinking his name was painful, and her anxiety started to build. She was about to lose it, her eyes were already burning and the ache in her chest was intensifying. A full blown panic attack was manifesting, and she needed to race home before Jace witnessed the meltdown.

“Hey Angel, where are you going?” he called.

Isabelle ignored him and worked hard to keep her breathing under control.

In and out.

In and out.

In and… ow.

She collided with a solid wall and was then enclosed in warm arms.

“Isabelle, what’s wrong?”

He’d overtaken her while she was distracted and was now looking down at her, deep concern in those luminous eyes.

She jerked out of his touch like he’d burnt her. What the hell was she supposed to say? She had tears running down her face, her whole body was beginning to shake and her breathing wasn’t regular. Somehow she didn’t think ‘I’m fine,’ was going to cover it.

A sob caught in her throat and the hyperventilating began. She needed to calm down, but every time she tried to gain control of her emotions, a dark memory would surface and the panic started all over again.

“Just go,” she gasped out.

But he didn’t. Instead a warm hand covered her own and placed her hand over his heart.

“Breathe with me,” he said softly, drawing gentle circles over her hand. “Feel my chest and try to match your breathing so we’re the same, OK?”

She was completely floored. Why was he doing this for her? What was he going to expect in return?

“Stop,” he said firmly. “Get out of your head and into this moment. All you need to be focusing on is my breathing, OK?”

Isabelle found herself nodding and when her eyes met the insane blue of his, she felt slightly calmer.

“That’s it,” he murmured, taking exaggerated breaths to help her. “Just like that.”

She had no idea how long they remained together like that, just breathing deeply while the world continued on around them. Jace didn’t seem concerned about anything other than her well-being, and waited patiently for her tears to dry and breathing to slow down to normal before letting go of her hand and lifting her into his arms.

She stiffened in his strong arms, both hating and loving the feel of a male’s comforting arms around her, holding her steady.

“What are you doing?” she asked hoarsely.

“You weren’t too steady on your feet. I just want to make sure you get home OK.”

Isabelle let silence fall between them, and tried to come up with an excuse that was going to fix this mess she’d created.

“Jace,” she began shakily.

He shook his head and she felt like she’d been slapped. He didn’t even want to give her a chance to explain, didn’t want to hear her stuttered apologies for a very public meltdown.

“Look at me,” he said quietly, and after a moment, she did. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, OK? We’re solid.”

Her mouth opened slightly and she found that she actually
wanted
to explain it to him, to help him understand her. For the first time in a long time, she wanted to branch out to let someone new into her walls. And that freaking terrified her.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured instead and kept her eyes on his, trying to figure out his thoughts.

He stopped walking and looked at her for a moment, his eyes unreadable before he let a small smile cross his face.

“Angel, what would you have to be sorry for?”

She gestured to herself wrapped up in his arms, completely bewildered that she hadn’t started round two of melt down madness with how close they were.

He sighed deeply. “You’re apologising for letting me live my dream of being the knight in shining armour?”

She felt the tension start to leave her chest and rewarded him with a small smile. “A criminal with a hero complex? You’re the strangest kid.”

He gave her a heart stopping smile. “We’ve all got our alter egos, right?”

Isabelle thought about how she felt split in two - torn between remaining the same girl that would drag all her friends to the childish Disney movies instead of a party, or the girl that couldn’t even look at her reflection for fear of watching it break under her gaze.

“I guess we do,” she murmured, and then suddenly became all too aware of how close their faces were and the heat that was radiating between them. “I think I can walk now.”

He sighed deeply. “Must you ruin my fun?”

“I’m thinking of you,” she said lightly. “Do you want to see the look on my Dad’s face when he notices the next neighbour boy carrying his daughter home? Hate to break it to you, Prince Charming, but not even you could talk your way out of that.”

Jace let her down gently but kept his hand on the small of her back as they kept walking.

“You haven’t seen me be charming yet,” he told her with a wink.

Isabelle felt her breath catch in her chest as she was hit with the full force of his beauty. She wanted to trace her fingers down his cheek bones and finish around his plump lips to see if they were soft or firm.

Oh God, someone needed to save her from this moment. She had never been the type to be silenced just by some pretty face, and now she couldn’t muster a damn word as his gaze drank her in.

“So, I feel like I should warn you about tonight,” Jace said breaking the tension.

Isabelle felt panic. “W-warn me?”

“Yeah. I need to be honest and say that now that I’ve gotten a taste of being Prince Charming, I may not be able to turn it off.”

Isabelle crossed her arms over her chest. “You are not carrying me around all night.”

He barked out a laugh. “Oh, I would never humiliate you like that. I just meant that although my sister is looking forward to introducing you to all the eligible bachelors tonight, I am looking forward to saving you from their lustful gaze.”

Now Isabelle laughed in disbelief. “And what makes you think I would be the subject of anyone’s lustful gaze?”

“Are you a secretly a vampire or just blind?”

“What?”

“Do you not have a reflection?”

“I have a reflection,” she said hesitantly, wondering where the hell this was going.

“Then you must realise that you are beautiful.”

Her head snapped back like she’d been slapped. “I’m not beautiful.”

He stared deep into her eyes searching for something within her and Isabelle felt naked under his gaze. Just when she thought she couldn’t stand it anymore he broke away.

Isabelle looked up to find they were in their street and felt relieved. She needed out of this conversation - Jace did something to her body she couldn’t control, made her feel things she didn’t want to feel, and those eyes… they were too perceptive and she hated feeling vulnerable, especially now.

“Well…thanks for today,” she began awkwardly, keeping her eyes ahead.

“Sure.”

Was that amusement in his tone? What had she done now to make him laugh?

“Uh…well I guess if Maia manages to get my parents to agree, I’ll see you tonight.”

Jace grabbed her arm and out of reflex she wrenched away, stumbling back a few steps.

He held his hands up in surrender and nodded to the ground.

“Pot hole, I didn’t want you to trip over. Sorry - I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”

Oh, she wanted to fall into that pot hole and disappear. She was doing a great impression of a basket case that should be avoided at all costs.

“See you tonight,” she managed to blurt out before racing inside.

As soon as she slammed the door behind her Isabelle’s breathing hitched again and she battled against herself for control.

“Honey?”

Her gaze snapped up to see her Dad watching her warily.

“I’m fine,” she responded automatically.

Her Dad did not look convinced but let it drop. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, it was great,” she replied robotically.

“Good, I’m so glad. Are you looking forward to going out tonight?”

Isabelle froze. Damn, Maia worked fast.

“Maia stop by?”

Her Dad smiled warmly at her. “Such a lovely family. She explained that it was sort of like a school function and a good way to help you get more comfortable before starting school.”

“And you actually agreed?” Isabelle asked incredulously.

Her Dad’s eyes narrowed. “Is there a reason I shouldn’t have agreed?”

“I just meant that… don’t you want help unpacking?”

He gestured around the kitchen, now almost completely unpacked.

“Maia’s Mum Claire came over before to introduce herself, saw we needed help and got us all organised. It’s really only your room and bathroom that are left for you to do, and that doesn’t need to be done right this minute.”

Isabelle nodded and began inching towards the door.

“Belle, how are you doing? Really?”

“Dad, I’m fine.”

“I don’t like being lied to.”

Isabelle worked hard to keep her face blank. She hated how her Dad always saw what others didn’t and was an expert on body language. It could have something to do with his military training or maybe just a Dad’s extra sense.

“I’m not lying,” she replied woodenly.

Yep, real convincing.

He held up her phone which was vibrating with Tate’s name flashing on the screen.

“Why don’t we start with what is going on with you and Tate? Did he do something? Pressure you for something? Help me understand.”

It was too much the probing questions, the insinuation that Tate could ever violate her and the memories of who really did. She was going to break apart if she didn’t leave right now and she couldn’t afford another melt down today.  She was far too close to losing herself as it was.

Her Dad was still staring expectantly at her as Isabelle found some resolve and walked over, snatching the phone out of her Dad’s hand.

“Everything is fine,” she snapped before walking away.

She made it half way up the stairs before the vibrating began again incessantly, stopping only for brief moments before starting back up.

She tried to pretend that it was just her imagination and her phone was really silent, but to be honest she didn’t have the energy to pretend anymore.

By the sixth round of rings Isabelle cracked and finally pressed accept.

“What?” she snapped.

“Well, thank fuck you’re alive!”