Home is Where You Are (20 page)

“How do you know?” she chokes out.

“Because I won’t let it. I did not come this far to die alone in the cold. I have my ways and you need to trust me. I promise you, if I ever think, for a single second, it’s too cold to make it through the night, I’ll ask Marv to crash in the backroom at The Bagel Hole.” 

“I trust you.”

“And I promise you.” I hold her for a little longer, savoring her warmth and her sweet smell. My grip loosens. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

H
er hand presses on my chest and she lifts on her toes to give me another kiss. “Tomorrow then.” She slides into the warm interior of her car, smiles halfheartedly, gives me a slight wave, and drives off.

I watch until her car is no longer visible then head towards the Y.
I thought I’d be protecting Anna by keeping Wanda a secret and maybe I would’ve been. Because at least it wouldn’t have brought up that awful shit from her past. Though, I’m happy she finally trusted me enough to tell me.

At least I told
Wanda I’d be thinking about her. Maybe in the end it gave her a little peace of mind. The fact I know Anna is thinking about me and worries makes the nights less lonely and gives me something to look forward to during the day.

“Hey
, pretty boy,” a rough, harsh voice comes up behind me. I ignore it and keep walking.

There are no street lights on this strip of pavement,
and now I’m wishing a few stars were visible. I still feel that guy’s presence behind me. I pull my hood tighter and pick up my pace.

The broken glass and rocks on the
ground crunch underfoot. I should have stuck to Main Street instead of taking the shortcut through the buildings. Shit. Think Dean. Think.

I’m fast, but is this guy behind me faster? I’m strong, is this guy stronger? Since he’s keeping up, he can’t be too drunk so that’s one strike against me.

“I was talking to you
, pretty boy.” The rough voice enters my ears again, but this time I recognize it, the creep from the soup kitchen. He must think because I worked at the soup kitchen I have money
.
Fuck. I continue my pace. Continue to ignore his comments. Maybe he’ll give up and leave me alone.

A strip of light illuminates my path as I make my way towards Main Street. I haven’t felt his presence since I turned at the last building. Thank God.
Fucking creep. Maybe he was just trying to scare me since I was staring him down for looking at Anna. Well, I have news for him, I’m not the pretty boy he thinks I am. I’m not stupid enough to turn to him when he talks to me, and I sure as hell ain’t stupid enough to—

My back slams against the brick wall of the building. The strip of light crosses my attackers face
, confirming what I already knew.

The creep pulls his arm back. I dodge his fist to my face
only to get his other to my ribs. I stumble back, smacking into the brick of the building.

Anna.

Her face pops into my thoughts. A sudden rush of adrenaline fills me.

I swing back. A piercingly sharp pain shoots through my knuckles as I make contact with the bastard’s nose. For a second he winces.
Enough time for me to get my back off the wall. 

T
his is a battle I can’t win. This guy is huge. I’m lucky to have gotten a punch in. I take off. I head towards The Bagel Hole. If I have to, I’ll hide in the dumpster. I’m almost there. I can see the lights of the parking lot. My head explodes. Hot throbbing pain courses up my skull behind my eyes. I lose my footing and fall and my face smacks the ground.

Thank God I landed on the grass. My assailant is vengeful. 
He kicks me in my ribs repeatedly. I have no defense but to crawl in the fetal position and hope he gets bored. Another kick. This one to my face. The world becomes smaller as my eye swells shut. My mouth tastes of metal as I drift away.

***

My fucking head. The world around me is smaller than usual and it’s spinning. Every inch of my body is on fire. I force myself to focus, and I see the sign of The Bagel Hole. I almost made it.

The store is closed, but there’
s a payphone outside. Probably the only payphone left in the state. I go to get up, but the pain darting through my sides knocks me off my feet. I grab at my side, and the only relief is the scream that erupts from my mouth.

My elbows and hands become my legs and feet as I drag myself across the parking lot.
The Bagel Hole looked a lot closer when I was staring at it. Thankfully the bastard didn’t take my backpack. Marv’s number is right behind my picture. I just need to get to the phone.

In what feels like a lifetime
, I finally make it. I perch myself up against the weathered metal of the pole and unzip the front pouch. Son of a bitch!

The bastard
found my money.

All of it.

He didn’t even leave me a single fucking quarter.
Son of a bitch!

It’s bad enough I’m calling Marv at home, at night, but now I have to call him collect. I use the pole of the phone to drag myself up. I wince against the pain
, forcing myself to grab the receiver. With the little bit of energy I have, I manage to call collect, put Marv’s number in, and blurt my name and The Bagel Hole when I’m prompted. Then I collapse.

I don’t know how much time passes until Marv is standing over me
, cursing like a sailor.

Everything in between was black.
The ground beneath me disappears and is replaced by soft leather. I hear the engine of the car and feel the bumps in the road, and all I can say is, “No hospital. Please.”

I awake to a single stream of light
seeping through parted white curtains.

My head’
s propped under a pillow and my body is covered by a quilt. It reminds me of the bedspread my parents had on their bed.

I don’t
remember much from last night, but I remember enough to know it’s not wise to make any sudden movements. Pain like that isn’t easily forgotten.

I can’t stay here. Where ever
this is. Slowly, I position myself so my weight is on my elbows, and I push myself up against the headboard.

“You look like shit.
”

With my left eye swollen shut I have to turn my head to see
who’s speaking. A girl with skin the color of milk chocolate and dark brown eyes stares at me like I’m some kind of exhibit at a museum.

“I bet,” I murmur.

“The doctor said it looks a lot worse than it really is. You’re just bruised up really bad. Nothing’s broken. If you ask me, you’re lucky.”

Did she say
doctor? Panic sets in. If I’m in a hospital they would have had to take my information.

“Where am I?” I blurt out.

“The guest room. You’re even luckier my dad has a friend who’s a doctor.”

Her dad?
Then the resemblance hits me. Marv. Slowly, bits of last night come back to me. Marv cursing. The feel of his back seat on my aching body. My request for no hospital.

“
Dad had to go to work, and Mom had a few errands to run, so they asked me to stay and keep an eye on you.”

“Since when do you listen to your dad?” I ask
, remembering all the times Marv complained to me about how many gray hairs she’s given him.

“I guess he’s told you about me then.”

“You could say that.” I wince as I try to sit up more.

“
He’s told me about you, too. And last night you scared the shit out of him. I’ve never seen my dad like that. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.”

“Good, mayb
e seeing me getting my ass kicked will make you think twice about doing something stupid then.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

It pains me to know I scared Marv. Other than Wanda
, I haven’t had a friend since I was ten, or at least I didn’t think I did. All along Marv has been my friend whether I wanted to admit it or not. As I continued to close the world out, I let him in.

“You hungry? Dad said when you wake up I should get you something to eat.”

“I’m good
, thanks.” I’ve already been enough of an inconvenience. I don’t need Marv’s daughter to serve me. “I’m going to get going.” Slowly and carefully, I turn my body until my feet are hanging off the bed. It takes all of my energy not to collapse.

“Dad also told me you’d try to bail
, and he gave me permission to blacken your other eye if you try.”

“Excuse me?” I dart my eyes at her and then wince when my head tilts.

“You heard me
. And don’t think I won’t. I once kicked Robbie Jackson where the sun don’t shine because he took my notebook and wouldn’t give it back.” She’s definitely Marv’s daughter. “The least you can do is wait till my dad gets home.”

“Fine,” I say
, looking across the wood floor for my shirt.

“Mom tossed your shirt in the washer. You look good now, at least compared to
when dad brought you in. You don’t have dirt and gravel stuck to your cheeks anymore or dried blood.” She’s probably trying to make me feel better, but she’s just making me realize how much I put her and her family out. I should never have called Marv.

“I’m going to watch some TV now I know you’re alive. You’re more than welcome to join me
, or you can stay here if you want.”

“Thanks
,” I say as she walks to the door. “Um…I don’t even know your name.”

She leans against the doorframe.
“I thought you said dad talked about me.”

“He does but he usually refers to you as his p
ain-in-the-ass or his baby girl.” From my one good eye I can see the slight smile tug at her lips.

“Elizabeth
, but my friends call me Izzy.”  

“What do you prefer?”

“Doesn’t matter to me.”

“Then thanks
, Izzy. I’ll be out in a minute.”

She smiles before walking out.

What the hell am I going to do? All of my money is gone. I can barely move without feeling like I have knives stabbing through my tendons, which is really going to suck if I don’t get into the Y tonight and have to sleep at the trestle.

And Anna.

I’m supposed to meet her after work at the library. She can’t see me like this. I was a fool for thinking I could let her come into my life. If anything, this is proof Anna is not a part of my world
.

She has a future and I don’t. 

It’s better this happened now. I can let her go before we both get in over our heads. It sucks, and I wish things were different, but they’re not, and I learned a long time ago life just isn’t fair.

I overslept! Never in my entire life have I ever overslept. What is going on with me?
First a C, and now this. Is the world coming to an end? 

I should have been halfway to the library by now. After I was blindsided with the C I vowed to get my mind back on track. First thing first
is to meet Susie at the library.

She
has been begging me to study with her on Saturday mornings, and Friday during tutoring I gave in. And if I get it all in before I’m set to meet Dean, then we can spend time doing other things.

Dean’s working, which will give me plenty of time to go
home and start over before we meet up. Thinking of his lips on mine makes me want to ditch Susie and head right to The Bagel Hole. But if I’m going to make up for that ghastly C, I need to bury myself in text books.

I’m going to be lucky if I’m only twenty minutes late. I throw my hair into a messy ponytail. Who’s going to be at the library at eight on a Saturday morning anyway?
I throw on clothes I find at the foot of my bed on and brush my teeth. If I didn’t oversleep I would’ve had time to stop by The Bagel Hole and kiss Dean good morning. Instead, I give the storefront a wave and continue to the library. The store isn’t going anywhere and neither is he.

Susie is already elbow
-deep in books by the time I arrive. She spots me and gives an overexcited wave.

“So sorry I’m late. I overslept. Can you believe it?” I sit in the seat across from her and place my books on the table.

“It’s okay. I was able to get started on my research project for my marine science class.”

“
What are you researching?”

“The role of sound in the biology of marine mammals.”

“Find anything interesting?”
“Not yet. But I’ve only gotten through a few pages.” She holds up a book with a tattered cover. “So, Dean, is he your boyfriend?” she shrugs and stays focused on the book, I know she’s embarrassed for even asking.

“I guess he is.
” I mean we hang out, we kiss, I like him—really like him—so yeah I’d say he
is
my boyfriend. The thought shoots me full of giddiness, and it’s impossible to deter the smile.

“H
e’s like…really hot.” If this was a bad teen movie, she would snort and push the glasses all the smart girls wear in those movies back into place.

I laugh.
“Yeah he is.” And he’s all mine.

“How do you do it?”
she asks.

“Do what?”

“Everything. Get straight As, volunteer, be editor of the paper, and have a boyfriend.”

I thought this was going to be a study session, but I guess not.

“Well editor of our school paper isn’t hard work. It’s kind of embarrassing how little I do actually. And…well, I overslept today. I never oversleep. I got a C on my last Physics test.”

Susie lets out a startled gasp then slaps her hand over her mouth.

“I know. I’m not going to lie. It’s not easy, but I’ve also never been this happy. I just need to find balance.”

“You’re lucky. I was watching him, not in a creepy way, just curious
, and you could tell he’s really into you. Guys will never look at me the way he looks at you.”

“Now you really sound like me.”

She folds her hands on top of her book. “I’m not following.”

“
My best friend, Katie, calls you my Mini Me. No offense, but it’s true. I thought because I was so focused on school that guys wouldn’t be interested in me. But then I met Dean and everything changed. Give it time and I’m sure you’ll be just as surprised as I was.”

“I hope so.” She smiles, her eyes fill with a bit of sadness
, but more dominant is hope.

Susie isn’t so bad. It’s sad I couldn’t stand someone
so similar. Does that mean I don’t even like myself?

As Susie dives into a section of the book on shipwrecks
, I sink into my chair, ignoring my own textbooks. My mind is everywhere but on schoolwork. Katie was right about more than just Susie
.
Maybe it is time for a change.   

***

Once I get into school mode, I finish all my homework, study for a couple tests, and even help Susie with her research.

Now
all I want is to see Dean, and I head home to shower and freshen up. Once I approve of myself in the mirror, I set out to The Bagel Hole to surprise him.

Marv is front
and center, though he looks like he has more on his mind than his customers. The closer I get, the more I notice the distance in his eyes. His daughter must be causing him problems again. Poor man.

“Hey Marv,” I say as I approach
, trying to be as upbeat as possible.

Marv
’s eyes widen and he turns his attention to the register. He scratches his chin then starts writing on his order pad, but there’s no customer. 

“Where’s Dean? Do you have him on trash duty?”
I ask.

“Uh…hey, Anna.
No he’s actually out um…running an errand for me.”

“Did he walk?” I turn to the glass door and look
to the parking lot. Marv’s car is parked where it always is. He definitely didn’t toss Dean his keys.

“H
e walked.”

“Where is he? I’ll go meet him and give him a ride back.”

“No, no that’s not n-necessary,” he stutters, and I hear uncertainty in his words. A knot forms in my stomach.

“Marv, where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” My heart
races, palms clam up and the room shifts around me. All of those stories Dean told me about what can happen to people in his world. And what just happened to Wanda. Oh my God. “Marv, if something happened, you need to tell me.”

His eyes lock with mine and after a few moments
, he lets out a puff of air. “Okay. Calm down and come here.”

Marv gestures to the door
leading to the back kitchen. I step into the doorway and wait with bated breath.

“
I lied. Dean’s at my house.”

“Why?
” Why is Dean there? Why would Marv lie? I’m trying to stay calm, but my stomach twists in large, unbreakable knots. Heat courses through my veins and my shirt feels impossibly tight. “Marv!”

“He’s going to kill me.”

“Talk to me. I’m freaking out.”

“You need to talk to him yourself. My address is 234 Apple Blossom Rd. It’s right off of Cedar.
Gray house with blue shutters. But you should know that he—” Before he can finish I’m out the door.

Maybe
Dean finally took Marv up on his offer and decided to move in until he can get himself on his feet.

So why is
it that I’m now standing at Marv’s door, my hand poised to knock, but can’t bring myself to do so? If I take one more deep breath my lungs may explode.

Anna
, just freaking knock already!
I force myself to finally make contact with the door, but my knock is more like a soft tap.

I guess it’
s enough, since the knob on the door turns.  My heart sinks when it’s not Dean behind the door.

Marv’s
daughter is tall for her age, hair combed back into a ponytail and her dark brown eyes are the same as his.

“Hello,” she says, eyeing me curiously.

“Hi, I
’m looking for Dean.”

“It’s for you,” she calls over her shoulder
and walks away, leaving the door slightly ajar, enough to see Dean’s head hangs down and his arms slump forward. He’s not happy to see me.

Pain tears through my chest,
lighting a fire that spreads to my throat. The past few weeks have been the best weeks of my life. I thought he felt the same.

Dean
steps towards the natural sunlight and. my heart stops. I suck in a jagged breath and reach out to his face. His gorgeous face marked in shades of black, blue, and purple. His lips I just kissed yesterday are swollen and split.

“Oh my God
.” I place my thumb under his chin to get a better look, but he winces away. “What happened?”

“Anna
, what are you doing here?” Annoyance fills his tone. And he called me Anna.

He never calls me Anna.

I stumble back as his hand rubs the spot between his eyebrows. His cheeks pull tight and his body stiffens as he braces himself against the doorway. That single move hurt him more than he’s portraying. My eyes travel to his chest, down his stomach, wondering how much damage I can’t see.

“I went to see you
, and you weren’t at work. Marv told me you were here, but he wouldn’t tell me why. What happened? Did you call the cops?”

Stone faced
, he glances up. “No.”

“Why not?”
My tone is harsher than I want it to be, but is he serious? His face was used as a punching bag. Whoever did this needs to be behind bars.

Tension pulls at his
jaw. “And tell them what?”

“
What happened. Give them a description of the guy who did this to you.”

“I’d have to file a police report, give my name. I’ll get thrown back into the system, and I’m not going through that again.”

I get it. I do. But how can he just sit back and not do anything
? There has to be something. “Then what are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“
Nothing
?” I can’t help the shock that flies out of my mouth.

Frustration tugs at the corner of his eyes
, and he runs both hands through his hair. “You don’t understand. Things aren’t fair and when it comes down to it it’s every man for himself.”

How can he justify
this? Has he looked in a mirror? “Surviving how? By beating the shit out of people for no reason?”

“He had reason.
”

“And what reason would that be.”

“He took my money.”

“
He got your money?” The tightness in my chest turns into a vise grip. He worked hard for that paycheck. His first paycheck. He had plans for that money.

“Every last cent.”

I can’t imagine how he feels, but it’s just a little step back.
“Okay, so you’ll just start over. No big deal. I’ll hold on to your money, or Marv can. That way no one can take it from you.”

“No
.” The word cuts through me like a jagged knife. My words catch in my throat, too stunned to find their way out. 

For a second I stare at him
, wanting him to explain. When he doesn’t I ask, “What do you mean no?”

“I mean no. I was a fool to think I could change things. Nothing has ever gone my way. Why should it now?”

I move closer to him, taking his hand in mine. “No, Dean. You’re wrong.”

He shakes off
my hold. “No, Anna. I’m not, and the sooner I accept it the better off I’ll be.”

“You can’t accept
that. I won’t let you.”

“
It doesn’t matter what you want.”

He takes a step back and
slams the door in my face. The corners of my eyes burn as tears threaten. He’s just mad. He needs time to calm down. 

I fan my face with my hands
, hoping to keep the tears at bay. But eventually a waterfall of emotions streams down my cheeks, my legs give out and I collapse on the sidewalk.