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Authors: Rose von Barnsley

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BOOK: Home Is Wherever You Are
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“Want me to kiss it better?” she asked.

I groaned. “Addy, baby, we need to get a place of our own before that happens. You do know your dad owns a gun, right?”

“My dad loves you.”

“Yes, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

She let out a huff. “You’re no fun.”

I kissed her neck, pulling her into my arms. “Believe me, babe, I’m dying to have you all to myself again,” I purred into her ear, biting her earlobe.

Her face was flushed. “Call Sharon, we’re buying the Smith house,” she said urgently.

“You haven’t even seen it.”

“Yes, I have, I’ve been in it before. I don’t need to see anymore. Just get it done.”

I couldn’t wait to get back to having a place of our own. When we finally made it downstairs, I told Daniel the good news, and he actually clapped his hands. “Alright, I’ll get Sharon right on it.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” Addy said, kissing his cheek.

He then gave me the
“I’m watching you”
look. I put my hands up in surrender. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed for the Smith house, maybe we should have looked for one a few more blocks away from Daniel...and his gun.

Chapter 18 - Moving on Up

             

I led Addy around the Smith house. It was much larger than the last house she had bought, and I worried it would be too much for us when it came to the heating and cooling costs. It seemed to be in decent shape, though. The wiring had been redone in the 90’s, so it was all up to date. I looked over the plumbing, and other than a loose drainage pipe under the downstairs bathroom sink, it was in excellent order.

Addy still couldn’t see. It had only been two days since she had decided to buy the house. “What do you think, Matthew?” she asked.

“It’s in good condition. It doesn’t really need any work, and Sharon says it’s a good deal.” I looked around. “It’s three bedrooms, two baths, and it has a den that could be used as a fourth bedroom. It’s almost twice the size of our last place,” I said, pulling her into my arms.

“I can buy it outright. Can you see us here for the rest of our lives?”

“If this is what you want.” I didn’t want to push her.

“I want what you want,” she whined.

I chuckled and kissed her head. “I want to make you happy, beautiful.”

She let out a sigh. “I think I could be happy here.”

“There’s plenty of room to grow,” Daniel cut in. “Even a place for Matthew’s parents to stay if they ever visit again.”

I frowned. I had sent them a note in the mail, letting them know we had moved. I hadn’t heard anything back from them yet.

“I should check out the roof,” I said and pulled a ladder off the truck. I leaned it against the side of the house and climbed up with ease, looking around. It looked to be alright. There was no “bruising” of shingles anywhere.

“The roof was redone five years ago. It should still be good,” Sharon said.

I climbed down and rubbed my face. “Why is this place so cheap?” I asked, a little wary.

“They put it on the market two years ago. They’ve had no offers, because no one is moving to Woodville. It’s an older community that gets smaller by the decade. They were originally asking for eighty thousand, but they dropped it to seventy-five thousand after there were no bites at all the first year. They just dropped the price again. Luckily for them, the place is paid off, so they aren’t stuck with two mortgage payments. They’d just really like to have the money for a retirement nest egg.”

We walked back into the house, and I asked, “Are there any other homes for sale in Woodville?” I just wanted Addy to be sure.

“Yes, there are others, but they’re a bit more expensive than you want to pay. There are two others in your price range, a one bedroom, one bath house that’s going for forty-five thousand dollars, and there’s a two bedroom, one bath home for fifty-five thousand dollars.  Really, four bedrooms with two baths is your best deal at seventy thousand dollars.”

I rubbed my hand through my hair. “Well, baby, it seems like an awesome deal, if you want it.”

Addy took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think I do,” she said, squeezing my hand.

I heard Sharon clapping her hands and wondered if that was where Daniel had picked that up. “Wonderful!” Sharon squealed. “I’ll get the papers drawn up right away. I’m sure the Smiths will be thrilled with a cash offer.”

We managed to get a quick inspection done, and then the money from the sale of Addy’s house was released by the bank. By the end of the week, the papers were back, with the offer accepted. She ended up having seventy-eight thousand dollars, after her little house was paid off, so she was able to pay cash for the house, the taxes, title, and Realtor costs, and still had five thousand dollars left to put in the bank. I insisted she put it into savings. She fought me at first, but I promised we would still have enough with me working.

I applied for my license and insurance. Daniel was right. Millie, or Mrs. Baker, had told the whole bridge club about me, and his phone was ringing off the hook. I ended up getting my own cell phone and getting some business cards made up with the number on it. I passed them out, and several people took a few extra cards to give to their neighbors.

Business was booming, and even with weekends off, I was still working my butt off. I helped Addy move the last of our stuff over to the house and asked her if she would mind me using the two downstairs bedrooms for work. She was fine with it, so I used one room as my office and the other as a storeroom. Turned out I could buy stuff wholesale and give my customers a better deal.  Most were working on budgets, but lived in old rundown homes that needed a lot of work. I would sit down with them and figure out what needed to be done, and then we would schedule it, giving me plenty of time to order parts and materials in advance.

I had been using Addy’s truck this whole time, but I was thinking of getting my own. It only seemed right, but I was nervous about taking on any sort of payments. I didn’t have the best employment history, and even if I couldn’t get fired, I could get sick or hurt, and that would leave me hurting for money again. I decided to try and save up for it.

Addy, on the other hand, was going stir crazy. She only had experience waitressing, and there was just the one little diner in town. She didn’t like the girls who worked there as it was, so she didn’t even apply. I pushed her again to apply for grants to go to school, but she just shook her head. “I don’t know what I want to be. Nothing has ever really interested me,” she said with a shrug.

“You like kids, why not be a teacher?” I asked.

She frowned. “I don’t want to deal with the parents.”

“What about orphans?  They don’t have parents.”

She looked at me confused, and I shrugged, not really knowing what I had suggested, either. “How am I supposed to deal with orphans?”

“I don’t know. I was just throwing it out there to see if you got any ideas off of it.”

She laughed and kissed my lips softly. “You’re such a goof.”

I hadn’t realized how much I had missed her deep brown eyes, until I finally got to see them again. Needless to say, I found myself kissing her a lot. I was thankful we were out from under Daniel’s roof and could get back to where we had been with each other.

We still hadn’t moved forward past third base. I probably could buy condoms, but the one time I had mentioned it to Addy, she seemed nervous about the idea. She told me some girl she knew named Lisa had gotten pregnant using a condom, and neither of us had the money for a baby right now. Still, it didn’t keep me from wanting her. Thankfully, I had never gone all the way with a girl, so I didn’t know what I was missing. I think if I did, I would have cracked long ago.

She pulled my pants down and smirked at my boxer shorts. They were covered in turtles, and the waistband said

Born Hard
.”

“See, you always snicker at me, and the one time you put them on and I laughed at you, I got hit!”

She rolled her eyes. “Quit being a baby, or I won’t play.”

I groaned. “No, baby, I’m sorry, please,” I begged, because nothing felt better than her hot little hands on me.

She gave me a coy smile and wiggled her finger at me, telling me to come back to bed. I couldn’t get enough of her, and I was looking forward to reciprocating.

Afterwards, we lay spent, cuddling in bed, and I realized I wanted to marry her. I looked down at her and kissed the top of her head. “If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?” I whispered.

She snuggled against me and was quiet. I thought she might have fallen asleep. Then her soft answer rang loud in my panicked ears. “Of course I would, honey, I love you.”

I squeezed her tighter in my arms, wishing I could keep her there always. “I love you, too.”

She let out a sigh of contentment, and I thought, life couldn’t get much more perfect than this.

 

 

 

Chapter 19 – Good Pussy

             

Small town life was nice, but it was very different. It seemed everyone knew who I was, while I was still learning everyone’s name. I didn’t think it fair that they only had to remember one new name, and I had to remember hundreds. I was sure to look like an inconsiderate jerk. Thankfully, my girl had grown up in this town and knew most of the people, so she could help me out. Of course, there were a few people I didn’t want to know.

I was in the grocery story with my girl, when an annoying squeal made me check the cart’s wheels. “Oh, Addy! I heard you moved back.”

The girl I knew as Jennifer came sauntering up. I remembered our last encounter and quickly moved behind Addy for protection from her witch cooties.

Addy just nodded her head yes and then looked at the ground. I didn’t like this. I pulled her back against me and nuzzled my face into her neck. “Hey, beautiful, do you want to get out of here?” I whispered.

She turned her face to look at me, and I quickly captured her lips with mine. I had one hand in her hair and the other on her stomach.

“Oh, my god! Is she pregnant?” Jennifer yelled loudly. “I can totally see your big belly.”

I knew that was bull crap. Addy was thin as a rail. I pulled my girl tighter against me. “No, she isn’t pregnant yet. That’s something we’ll be working on once we’re married.”

“I don’t believe you,” Jennifer sassed.

I massaged my girl’s tummy. “If you think there’s a baby in here, you must be carrying twins in your butt, because that’s definitely big enough for it.”

Jennifer gasped, and Addy hid her face in my neck, but I could feel the smile on her lips.
That’s my girl. Don’t let the witch get to you
, I thought to myself. Jennifer opened her mouth and closed it several times, before she stormed off.

I heard snickering behind us and turned to see another woman standing there. I hadn’t met this one yet. “More like quadruplets,” she said, and I instantly liked her. “Hey, Addy.”

My girl looked up timidly and gave a half-hearted smile to the woman before us.

“So, this must be the famous Matthew who can fix anything,” she said and reached her hand out to me, but I didn’t want to let go of Addy.  Something seemed wrong, and I didn’t know what it was. I looked down at my girl, looking for signs, but she was locked up tight. The woman dropped her hand, not seeming to be offended. “I’m Amy Chambers.”

When she said her name, Addy peeked up at her.

“Yeah, I know, right? Took the jerk long enough.  We’ve been married for a year,” she said, talking to Addy.  “He’s about as handy as a rock.  No wait, you can pound things with a rock. What’s unhandy?” she asked Addy, like she would answer.

My girl just frowned.

“Anyway, we’re looking to buy this little one-bedroom on Second Avenue. Do you mind looking it over for us?” she asked me.

“Um, sure,” I said, completely unsure. I didn’t know what was going on with my girl.

“It was good seeing you again, Addy. I’ll see you around,” Amy said and left us alone in the aisle.

“Addy, are you okay? She didn’t seem mean.”

She frowned harder. “I want to go home, please,” she begged. I was starting to regret my move to Woodville.

Two days later, I was standing with some guy named Isaiah. I was walking through the little house and pointed out a few things to him. Nothing big, just minor fixes. “Did you go to school with Addy?” I asked.

He suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Sort of, I guess.”

“What kind of answer is that?” I asked.

“We were both in Amy’s tutoring class together, but she was further behind than me. I was only there for a month. Amy’s a great teacher like that, you know.”

I didn’t want to let on that I didn’t know Addy had needed tutoring.  It was not a big deal, lots of people needed it. She was lucky to have actually gotten it, though.

“Addy wasn’t really in any of our classes. She had different teachers,” he said, and it confused me. What was the big deal that their schedules didn’t drop them in the same class? He was acting like it was something major. “She seems to be doing well for herself now, though. I mean she just bought ole Doc Smith’s house, so she must be doing okay.”

“Yeah, nice little place, she made a good profit on turning around her last house and was able to buy it outright.”

“Holy cow, really?” he said shocked.

I smiled proudly. I liked bragging about my girl. “Yeah, really.”

He eyed the little one-bedroom home. “Do you think...?”

I cut him off. “There’s no market here. She was smart to go to Houston for her first buy.”

“Yeah, she may not be book smart, but she’s a freaking genius when it comes to street smarts,” Isaiah said, walking to his car and leaving me confused.

I decided to find my girl and ask what the heck he had been talking about. I knew Addy was street smart. She had taken down Jeremy, me and the guy messing with her A/C. She probably would have taken Jeremy down again if it hadn’t been for the other guy who had been there. I wondered if Daniel had paid him a visit as well. I would have to ask.

I hadn’t been home long, when I got another call. It was Joe Riley, a neighbor of ours. His cat was stuck in a tree, and he wondered if I would give him a hand.  I grabbed my ladder and walked next door.

“That dang pussy is stuck in the pecan tree out back again. My wife is all in a tizzy over the stupid thing. I’d ship that blasted cat to the pound, but it keeps my wife’s feet warm. I swear her circulation is shot, because her feet feel like she’s standing on a couple of ice blocks, and I sure as heck don’t want them anywhere near me,” Joe ranted, as he led me to the tree in question.

Mrs. Riley was at the bottom of the tree, crying up a storm, holding a can of tuna fish. She didn’t look to be having any luck.

“Oh, Matthew!  Please, you have to save my Muffin,” she begged, and I just nodded, putting my ladder as close as I could to the cat. I would have to get onto the branch and reach to the left, but I was pretty sure I could reach the overfed feline. I just hoped I had the upper body strength to get the fat thing down the ladder.

“Here, kitty, kitty,” I called, and the ungrateful thing hissed at me. I guess he hadn’t gotten the memo that I was here to save his chunky butt. “Come on, Muffin, be a good kitty.”

“Try pussy, Matthew, we always call him pussy,” Joe called, when he saw Muffin hissing at me.

“Here, pussy, pussy.  Come on, Muffin, be a good kitty and come to me,” I said, sliding a little closer. The cat backed up and swatted at me. His paw hit some nuts that bounced off the branch, clocking me in the face. I lost my balance for a second, but steadied myself again.

I was surprised when Mrs. Riley started shouting, “Muffin, you stop whacking those nuts, you naughty pussy!”

If it hadn’t been for the fact that I was in a tree with a crazed cat, I would have been laughing my butt off, but right now, I was too busy trying not to break my neck.

“Here, pussy, pussy,” I called again, trying to keep a straight face and not fall.  I should have thought ahead, because when I was finally within reach, I grabbed the cat.

Oh good, I was thinking, I had saved the kitty. Well, someone hadn’t told the cat I was saving him, and he freaked out. Turned out Muffin had a wicked set of claws that he had just sharpened climbing up this dang tree. When I pulled him to my chest, he used them to climb over my shoulder and was currently hanging from my back, shredding my shirt, not to mention my flesh.

Of course, as this all happened, I lost my balance and fell.  But not far, no, I was still on the same branch I had been standing on. I was dangling upside down, hanging by my leg. My jeans had snagged on the branch and were currently slipping off of me. Joe was freaking out and quickly moved the ladder closer to where I was swinging, his nut-whacking pussy still hanging on my back. I got to the ladder, but my jeans were stuck good. I ended up having to take them off, so I could get my feet under me. Last thing I wanted was to be falling on my head. As soon as we got within reach, Mrs. Riley was prying her demon cat off my back and running into the house.

Joe stood back and looked down at my underwear. “I didn’t know they made shorts for catching cats. I don’t think they work, though,” he said, looking up at my dangling pants. “Thanks, Son,” he said and left me standing there in my underwear.

I looked down and smiled.  They were the tiger boxers that said “
Pouncing Pussy

on them
.
I couldn’t help but feel they had failed me, because I was pretty sure the pussy had pounced me this time.

BOOK: Home Is Wherever You Are
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