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“You look handsome. Are you ready to go?”

“Yep.” He stood military straight in front of her, except for that adorable, wide grin, the cutie.

She loved this little boy. Although she wasn’t his adopted mom yet, it sure felt as if she was as she handed him his coat and hat and helped him into both. She thought about the life she had dreamed about with Mike and the future she had expected to have with him.

It was strange how life had a way of working out. He was right. That dream hadn’t been meant for them, but she was beginning to see the wisdom behind God’s plan for her. It might have been hard on her heart losing Mike, but look at what she had gained. A life she wasn’t constantly chasing after trying to catch hold of. She had a sweet little boy to love. She had a family.

Who knew where God’s path would take her next? Wherever it was, it would be good. For the first time in a long while, she believed without doubt. Her faith may be new, but it was strengthening by the day.

While she locked up, Ali knelt down to look at the rocks in the flowerbed. Finding none, he took her hand. As they walked the short distance to the carport in the back, they had a perfect view of Marlon’s house, Ali’s grandfather who had passed away recently. The house sat dark and closed up. A flash of red and white caught her attention.

A realtor sign. The house was up for sale. Somehow that made his passing even sadder. Soon the home would sell and new people would move in, as if to erase the memory of the terse curmudgeon who had lived there. Marlon was all bark and no bite, she had learned. She had cared for him. Underneath his gruffness, he had been a good man.

Ali didn’t notice the sign. He was staring straight up at the sky, watching for helicopters flying on training missions from the post.

“Sarah?”

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna get a big tree, right?”

“A
big
tree, sure. Just not a
gigantic
tree because it won’t fit in the living room.”

That made him giggle. He clapped his hands together bounding up to the SUV. “Okay, a big tree!”

“Think of all the lights we can put on it.” Sarah unlocked his door.

“A hundred.” Ali climbed into the backseat. His shadowed eyes hinted at his tough night, but his smile was bright and full of promise. “A hundred hundred! A zillion.”

“I don’t know. A zillion is an awful lot of lights.” Sarah couldn’t help joking as she helped him with his car seat buckle. “I know I don’t have that many lights in storage. We’ll have to buy more.”

“Lots more. Flashing ones.” He grinned, all buckled up.

She laughed, shutting the back door. “Oh, no. Not more flashing lights.”

“Yep! They’re the best.”

“I don’t know about that.” She kept her voice light, so he would know she was joking with him. As she slid behind the wheel, she saw his cute button face in her rearview mirror and her heart squeezed with an ever-deeper love. “I was planning on white lights. The kind that don’t flash at all.”

“Sarah!” Ali shook his head. “Don’t you know the flashing ones are better?”

“I suppose you’re right,” she agreed, starting the engine. “But if we want a zillion lights, we are going to have to put buying them on our errand list.”

“Okay.” Ali sounded so eager. He clapped his hands again.

She remembered being five and going with her parents and older sister to get their tree. She backed out of the driveway into the street. “You can pick out your ornaments, too.”

“I want soldiers like Dr. Mike.”

How did she know? Sarah tried not to roll her eyes as she drove down the street. A military theme would be an interesting complement to her precious porcelain ornaments she had collected over the years. Ornaments, she realized with a start, that were ones Mike had given her. While her mother had started the collection long ago for her, Sarah added to it yearly. And when she and Mike had become serious, he had always bought her one as a surprise during the Christmas season.

Well, maybe she would keep those wrapped up in their storage boxes another year. She would see how many boxes of glass ball ornaments she could fit into her budget. The fewer reminders of Mike the better.

“Wait. This isn’t the way to Dr. Mike’s!” Ali’s cheer was gone.

When she checked the mirror, she saw him swiveling around, looking around. Gone, too, was his calm. Distressed, he struggled against his seat belt.

“Sarah, you go the wrong way.” Emotion thinned his voice. He sounded so small and vulnerable. “We got to get Dr. Mike.”

Mike? Where had he gotten such an idea? Sarah checked for traffic and pulled over to the curb. “Honey, Mike is busy doing his own stuff. Why are you crying? Here, let me get a tissue.”

“He’s supposed to come with us.”

“Did he tell you so?” She remembered the night when she had been visiting with John in Whitney’s room. Ali and Mike had been alone chatting for a bit. Maybe they had discussed it then? It was the only thing that made sense.

“Yes. He said—” He hiccoughed. “When we was puttin’ up the lights—”

“On the house?”

“Yes. He said we was gonna put the tree at the window. He s-said it. He did.”

“Okay. It’s all right.” She wedged herself between the front seats to gently wipe away his tears. She couldn’t imagine Mike making that promise, so it only stood to reason Ali had misunderstood. It wouldn’t be the first time. He wanted to spend time with Mike so badly, was all. She hated the heartbreak on his face. He needed Mike. It was that simple.

I need your help to ease out of his life. He’s more dependent than I thought.
Mike’s words came back to her. Typical Mike. Relationships were easy for him, simple, black and white. She had always been the one trying so hard, she could see that now. She could recognize it easier looking at Ali, all tears and heartbreak. He had grown to love the man who had stepped into a protective father role when Ali had been alone in a wartorn part of the world, and now Mike just thought he could waltz away. No harm, no foul.

Well, she had a thing or two to say to the man. She had always kept her cool. She was the one who tried hard to see the other side of every argument most of the time. But not now. She grabbed her cell and made a call.

“You just forgot, right, Sarah?” Ali sniffled. “You gonna turn around now so we can see Dr. Mike?”

“Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of it.” She waited for the phone to connect, her heart pounding. No answer. So she pounded out a text message.
Town center at eleven o’clock. Ali needs you. Don’t be late.

She didn’t add that he had better be there. Mike Montgomery was a good man in countless ways, but she was not going to let him get away with making her little boy cry. Mike Montgomery had finally met his match, and the poor man had no idea.

She tucked her phone back into her purse, made sure Ali was snug and safe and pulled back out into traffic. It was 9:35 in the morning and already it felt like a very long day.

M
ike checked his watch. It was exactly eleven hundred. Where was she? The streets were jammed today. Everyone had errands of their own, and he was no exception. He had ditched his to-do list halfway through just to be here as Sarah asked. As his watch ticked off another minute, he scanned the Christmas-tree lot and the carolers standing on the front steps of the church.

Wait a minute, he sure hoped this had nothing to do with church. Sarah had been trying to get him to join before their breakup.

“Dr. Mike!” Ali’s call across the street noise had him turning around. Relief washed over him. From Sarah’s abrupt message, he had thought something was really wrong. But the kid looked great as he ran a half a step ahead of Sarah, dragging her with him.

“You came!” Ali skidded to a stop.

It was the doctor in him that had him checking Ali’s respiration rate—fast, but then he had been running. Studying his color. Noticing the red rimmed eyes. “Sure I came. Are you okay?”

Ali nodded. “’Cuz you’re here.”

Uh-oh. Mike kept his gaze down, fixed firmly on the child so he didn’t have to look at the woman. But her suede boots came into view and he didn’t have to look up to know she was angry with him. He could feel it like the cold in the wind.

“What’s going on?” He had to ask; he had no idea.

“You and Ali are going to pick out a Christmas tree together.” Sarah’s tone was no nonsense and firm, her teacher’s voice. She meant business. “You are going to pick out the biggest tree that will fit in my living room.”

“I am?” That was news to him.

“Yep, like you said.” Ali took his hand and held on so tight.

Mike, braced against it, could feel that need. It was like the surface temperature of the sun. “I never said.”

“You did.” Ali, all sincerity, began looking worried. “Right? You’re gonna stay with me?”

Bull’s-eye. That was like a bullet to the heart. How was he going to say no to that? Now he was beginning to understand why she was mad at him. “Sarah, I never said. I’ll do what he needs, but just so you know—”

“Oh, I know.”

Mad wasn’t the word. Smoldering mad would be a better description. Sarah was quiet even when she was furious. He had better brace himself.

“You, Michael Adam Montgomery, had better watch what you say to him.” Her eyes sparked blue fire. “English is not his first language. He thinks you said you would pick out a Christmas tree with him, and that is exactly what you are going to do. Do you understand, Major?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He was a smart enough man to know when he was licked. And more important was the little boy clinging to him. Sarah was right. Ali’s need was more significant than Mike had figured. He had things to do, but they could wait.

“I understand.”

“And make sure the tree isn’t too tall.” She reached into her tidy shoulder bag and handed him a fold of twenties. “This should be enough—”

“No, I don’t feel right taking your money.”

“I won’t have you buying my tree.”

Ouch. Gone was the hurting woman asking for his forgiveness. Worse, he understood what she meant. They were no longer in love. They were no longer friends. It was best to be clear about that. He took the money, but he didn’t like it. “Do I get to keep the change?”

The corners of her mouth twitched. “No. I’ll expect a receipt, too. I don’t trust you.”

He had almost made her smile. “Yes, ma’am. What do you think, Ali? Think we can find the best tree?”

“We can! Know what, Dr. Mike?”

“I’m not your doctor anymore. Maybe you had better start calling me Mike. Just plain Mike.”

“Mike.” Ali gave it a try and grinned. “Do you know what, Mike?”

“I’m afraid to ask what.”

“I’m wearing the shirt.” The kid patted his chest, where his shirt showed through his partially zipped jacket. “It’s like yours.”

“It is.” Beneath his jacket, Mike also wore a gray shirt with U.S. Army printed across the front in bold letters.

“We match like socks.” Ali laughed.

That was one of Sarah’s sayings. Cute, but the truth was, she read too many children’s books. Her life was fairy-tale worlds with puppy-dog endings. He supposed he always resented that, maybe even looked down on it a little. It wasn’t the world he knew existed.

But he had never wanted anything more. He clamped his mouth shut, just in case momentary weakness took him over. He was not going to reminisce. He wasn’t going to long for a long-ago sweetness.

“You have an hour to find a tree.” She pushed up her coat sleeve to check her watch.

“Got it.” He studied her for a moment. “I’ll take Ali to lunch, and then we’ll report home around one o’clock. I’ll get the tree inside for you and be on my way. How does that sound?”

“Fine.” Since there was nothing more to say, Sarah took a step back. “Ali, you have fun with Mike. I’ll see you soon.”

“But you need to come.”

“You and Mike will have a fun time together. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Ali nodded, then shook his head.

She knew what the boy wanted. He needed as much adult security and care as he could get. He needed to know he wasn’t alone in the world, after losing his entire family. He also needed to know that wherever he went or whatever happened, she was going to be waiting for him. “Guess what I want you to do?”

“What?” Curious, Ali leaned close, eyes wide.

“I want you to have the best time ever with Mike.” She knelt down and brushed dark brown hair from his eyes. “You find the best tree. And when you come home, I want you to tell me all about it.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.” She kissed his cheek. “Have fun. I’ll see you at thirteen hundred hours.”

“How many is that?”

“Ask Mike.” It wasn’t easy to stand. Her knees were wobbly. She wanted to believe it was the after effects of her little bout of temper, but she knew better. It was Mike. She wasn’t immune to him. She would never be immune to him. Her heart had a mind of its own, and there was nothing she could do to stop loving him.

So the wisest course was to simply walk away and keep walking.

“I want this one!” Ali tilted his head all the way back to see to the very top of the giant spruce. He flung his arms wide. “It’s really big, Dr. Mike! I mean, Mike.”

What was he going to do with the kid? Mike shook his head. “That looks to be the biggest one in the whole lot. Trouble is, it won’t fit in Sarah’s living room.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He bit his tongue to keep from adding
buddy.
Whatever happened, this was nothing more than a rescue mission. He had come because the boy had been upset. He was the kind of man who did the right thing. This excursion with Ali was nothing more than a step away from the friends they used to be. He didn’t like it, not one bit, but that was the way life was sometimes. “Let’s look for something a little smaller.”

“Yep.” Ali blew out a breath of air, scrunching up his face, button-cute. The little guy tromped to the next grouping of trees, bright with wonder, as he studied each fir and spruce and pine imagining which would be his perfect Christmas tree.

“Not these two,” Mike pointed out, gesturing toward a pair of the Douglas firs. “Too tall.”

“How about this one?” Ali tugged on a lower branch of a spruce. “It’s almost as tall and it’s real soft. It’s got lots of arms.”

“Branches—”
buddy.
He bit off the word. “Let’s keep this one in mind and keep looking.”

“Someone else might get it.” A line of worry crinkled his forehead.

“I’ll take care of it.” Mike grabbed a sold tag from the kiosk and told the fellow there, “We’re still looking.”

“I get that all the time.” The older man winked. “You and your son take all the time looking you want.”

Your son.

“Thanks.” Not bothering to correct the man, he trailed after the little boy who darted from tree to tree. Protective urges roared to the surface.

What he felt was more than wanting to protect and provide for the boy. It was a soul-deep commitment to Ali’s life.

“Look at this, Mike!” The boy danced with excitement in front of a tall slender tree.

“I s-see.” The word stuck in his throat. He had to get his emotions under control.

“It’s not as good,” Ali decided after serious contemplation. “It’s too short and it’s pointy.”

“It’s a ponderosa pine. Their needles are stiffer.” Clinical, that was the way to handle this. “What else do you see?”

“Hmm.” Ali wandered off, staring up at the tops of the trees. “Is that one too tall?”

“You know it.” Mike winked. “We would have to cut a hole through Sarah’s attic and roof to get that tree to stand upright.”

Ali laughed, a happy, carefree sound. It was a tribute to Sarah and her loving heart that Ali was doing as well as he was. That he could set aside the hardships of his earlier life long enough to dance through a tree lot, imagining twinkle lights and Christmas angels hanging from branches.

What he couldn’t let himself admit was that he missed Sarah and her loving heart, too. He swallowed hard against a lump of emotion rising in his windpipe. Best not to feel that, either. Boy, she had been mad at him. He caught himself smiling as he followed Ali to the far edge of the tree lot. He could still see her standing in front of him, her temper flaring. It was a rare occurrence, but she was never lovelier than when she was putting him in his place.

“Do you still like the first one?” he asked the kid.

“Yep. That’s the bestest.”

“Then let’s buy it, get it loaded and stop for some pizza. What do you think of that plan?”

“It’s a good one ’cuz I’m hungry.” Ali’s grin could tempt a man to want to love and protect the little guy even more.

Another wave of mortification washed over her when she spotted Mike hiking up her walkway hefting an eight-foot fir. She heard Ali fumbling with the knob and had just enough time to grab the bags of unwrapped presents and squirrel them away into the pantry closet before the front door swung wide and in came a clapping Ali.

“Look, Sarah. We got us the tallest one that we didn’t have to cut a hole for.”

That sounded like Mike’s sense of humor. She rescued Clarence, who was looking alarmed, from the back of the couch and cradled him. Branches rustled, Mike’s breathing rasped and then the tree whisked into the house.

“Right here!” Ali hopped up and down in front of the space she had cleared. He sure looked like one happy boy. Judging by the looks of things, he had a good time.

Calling Mike had been the right thing to do. Knowing that made some of the tightness in her stomach ease, but not all of it. She had been so angry with him. She still was, as a matter of fact. Keeping his back to her as he worked the tree into the stand she had left out right in front of the window, acting as if everything was just peachy. It wasn’t. Not even close.

Fortunately for him, the phone rang. Since he and Ali were busy, she carried Clarence with her and caught it on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Sarah, glad I found you in.” It was Olga from the church grief center and her bubbly voice was like spring in full blossom. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get back to you sooner. Everything is crazy here. So much to do! How is Ali?”

“Right now he is running in circles around our Christmas tree. We just put it up.”

“Excellent.” Olga’s laugh was contagious and caring, as if she could just picture how cute that really was.

Sarah had a hard time keeping hold of her anger. Mike had stepped back to survey his work while Ali zipped faster and faster, his sneakers beating a loud rhythm. Clarence apparently had enough of the noise and wanted down, so Sarah let him onto the counter. He flicked his tail, perhaps at Mike’s presence, and leaped onto the top of the refrigerator, one of his favorite spots.

She stepped into the kitchen, so Mike wouldn’t overhear. “He’s a little fragile today, but doing well. He had another tough night.”

“Nightmares, poor boy.” Olga sympathized. She was a woman who understood grief, having lost her husband in the Soviet war in Afghanistan nearly twenty years ago. “Do you want to bring him in this afternoon?”

“I was hoping that we could talk.”

“Absolutely. You name the time and I’ll come over for a visit. That way Ali can stay and play where he’s secure and you and I can have a heart to heart.”

“I would love that, Olga.” She needed guidance on all fronts. Prayer, she knew, would help, and so would Olga’s experience. “I’ll make a pot of tea and some brownies.”

“Oh, brownies. The magic word. You will be sorry when you can’t get rid of me. Or at least until every crumb is gone.”

Sarah laughed, relieved she was not alone. It wasn’t as if she could turn to Mike. “Please come anytime that’s good for you.”

“In an hour or so. You need time to bake. I have a good feeling about our talk. Don’t think I haven’t forgotten you said no to my last singles activity.” Olga also managed the church’s single’s events. “We’re having another session of match-making trivia night this week right before our singles Christmas party. Should I expect you?”

“I’m sorry. That’s the night of our school concert.”

“There’s always next time!” Olga hung up laughing.

A singles party. Sarah hung up, knowing it was going to be hard to get out of going eventually. But the sight of Mike standing in her living room made her reconsider. Since they had left the door wide open, she walked over to quietly close it. Somehow she was going to have to get used to the idea of dating again. Someday.

“Sarah!” Ali, tiring of his laps around the tree, stopped to drag in a dramatic breath. It was good to see him so happy and active. “The lights, please. So Mike and me, we can put ’em up. Like outside.”

Uh-oh. Sarah turned to Mike and their gazes connected. Longing jolted through her, unwanted and unbidden. When was this going to stop?

Mike cleared his throat. “Sorry, Ali. I don’t think that’s what Sarah had in mind. This is your first Christmas with her. You two should do the decorating together.”

“It’s my Christmas with you, too.” Confusion crinkled across his forehead. Wide, honest eyes stared up at her. “Sarah, Mike’s gotta stay, right?”