Honey Flavored Tears (9 page)

“
Jaidyn you don’t understand how quickly your life was about to be over waking me up like that,” she said causing me to laugh even harder.

“Oh girl
, whatever, if I was really a stranger breaking in you would’ve been dead right away, sleeping all comfortable,” I replied as I demonstrated her sleeping so comfortably. She chuckled in return and said, “Fuck you,” in a playful way. I laughed and hit her with a pillow.

“Girl I’m just joking with you.”

“Yeah I know you are,” she replied looking at me out the corner of her eye. Maybe I was tripping but it seemed like she was giving me a somewhat seductive look too. I shook the thought from my head and decided to change the subject.

“So where is Pierre at?” I asked looking around the apartment noticing he hasn’t announced his presence yet.

“Oh he’s out with Kevin again,” Ava said.

“Damn
, again?” I asked. Ava nodded her head yes. “Wow I guess he’s really feeling this one.”

“Yup
, you can say that,” Ava said. “So you know what that means…no more of the clubbing Pierre who pimps these hoes as he would say.”

“I don’t know if I can get use to this Pierre just yet,” I said as I rested
my back against the couch.

“Well damn
, that sounds pretty selfish of you,” Ava replied with a little defense in her tone.

“I mean don’t get me wrong
, I want Pierre to be happy. Lord knows he hasn’t been happy in a long time. I’m just saying it’s going to be a lot of lonely nights for me here now that he’s spending so much time with Kevin.”

“
Awww don’t worry about that. Pierre left it up to me to keep you company.” Hearing Ava say this caused me to suck my teeth. I looked straight at her and said, “It’s not your responsibility to keep me company. I’m grown I know how to take care of myself. Besides you’re here to enjoy yourself and spend time with friends and family. Speaking of family have you even had any time to spend with your family?”

“Damn
, you must be getting tired of me or something,” Ava said.

“No I’m just saying I know you came up here to
spend time with them too and we have been taking up most of your time since you been here.”

“Oh…well I don’t mind spending time with
y’all, besides I went to go visit them today after Pierre left,” she replied.

“Oh ok, well how long will it be before you leave and go back to Georgia?” I felt like me asking that question was wrong because right then and there Ava’s mood went downhill. She leaned back against the couch and sighed deeply. “I don’t even know
,” she replied.

“Why the change in your mood, did I say something wrong?”
I asked.

Ava shook her head no and silence fell upon her.

“What’s wrong?

She looked at me and asked,
“Jaidyn have you ever done something you regret?”

I sucked my teeth and said in return, “Shit for the last two years I have known someone I regret even meeting. But why do you ask?”

“I feel like me moving to Georgia was a bad idea. Thought I was ready for change but it’s not too comfortable with me just yet,” she replied.

“Yeah change is hard to compromise with at times,” I replied referring that comment to my own situation.

“I know right, tell me about it.” She became quiet again. I observed her, it seemed like something was on her mind that was dragging her mood down. I wasn’t use to seeing her like this so I decided to change the subject. I’m pretty sure if she wanted to talk about whatever was on her mind she would eventually tell me.

“So what you watching?” I asked.

“Oh I fell asleep watching snapped on the Oxygen channel.”

“How can you watch a show about women letting love make them go crazy and convi
nce them to kill their partners?”

“Hey sometimes people don’t
know what the power of love can do to them. It has you doing things you probably never thought you would do before,” Ava replied. Hearing her say that made me realize she was right. I never thought I would allow or even give Quincy all the chances I gave him. Usually I don’t put up with the love games and bullshit but there was something about Quincy that had me stuck in a trance. Words couldn’t explain how I feel when I’m around him, I just know right now, not being near him is killing me but I have to learn to move on and let him live his life. I can’t allow him to be in my life watching him enjoy a chapter with another woman that I feel I should be enjoying with him. Life…never gives us what we really want.

“Why you so quiet?” Ava asked snapping me back into reality.

“Oh girl, I was getting into the show,” I lied. I was hoping she didn’t ask me what was going on because I really wasn’t paying attention.

“And you said you didn’t like the show, yeah okay if you say so,” Ava replied laughing. I just smiled. As I went to stretch it felt like I
pulled a muscle in my back but I knew my body was just sore from standing all day.

“OWW!!!” I screamed aloud.

“What’s wrong?” Ava asked in a panic tone of voice.

“My body feels tense.
”

“Oh you just need a massage,” Ava said nonchalantly.

“I wish I could get one but those spas cost too much these days.”

“Who said anything about you going to a spa silly,” Ava replied. I looked at her sideways wondering what the hell she was talking about.
“Just turn around,” she said. I did as I was told. Her hands connected to my back, as she slid them down my back, I felt my body jerk and a chill came over my body. “Did I find the spot?” She asked.

“Excuse me?” I asked getting a little offended. She giggled and said,

“I’m asking did I find the spot on your back where the pain is at.”

“Oh the pain is all over, you’ll have to massage my whole back.”

“Well it’s nice to know you are giving me permission to even touch you like this,” she said.

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“Because of my sexual orientation, as if you hadn’t noticed.” I sucked my teeth again.

“Ava trust me I don’t discriminate. I trust you, if I feel you are ever going too far I will definitely let you know.”

“Ok,” she replied and continued to give me a massage. The truth was I didn’t want her to stop. She was very good with her hands. Chills kept coming through my body; I closed my eyes and allowed her hands to numb the pain in my muscles. My muscles were relaxed, I was relaxed. She made me feel extra comfortable for some reason. As the night went on, we watched movies. I felt myself getting sleepy but I didn’t want to fall asleep during the movie “Juwanna Mann.” I looked over at Ava who was so into the movie. “Do you mind if I lay my head on your lap?” I asked.

She looked at me like she was shocked to hear those words come out of my mouth. I didn’t know why. “Well can I?” I asked waiting for an answer.

“Sure,” she replied. I grabbed a pillow and put it on her lap and rested my head on it. As my eyes began to get heavy I felt her fingers caressing the roots of my hair. It reminded me of when my grandma use to scratch my head as a little child just to get me to go to sleep. It was times like this where I find myself missing her in the middle of the night. I know if she were still around she would not allow me to go through this drama Quincy has me going through. I can imagine the flips she’s probably doing in her grave right about now seeing me go through what I’m going through.

“Is it okay for me to massage your hair?” Ava asked me.

“I haven’t told you to stop yet have I?” I asked. She chuckled in return.

“You have such a smart ass mouth I see
,” she replied. I just laughed as well and closed my eyes letting her fingers send chills through my body once again.

I woke up and the TV was off and it was pitch dark in the room. I realized I was still on the couch and lying on Ava still
who was sitting up sleeping. I got up from the couch and grabbed the pillow. The fact of me moving caused her to wake up. “I’m about to go to bed,” I said.

“Alright then,” she said in return to me. As I got up from the couch
she began to stretch out on it.

“You know what I’d feel bad having you sleep on this uncomfortable couch, you can come sleep with me in my room,” I said. She
gave me a look that asked was I sure. I chuckled and said, “Come on I don’t bite.” She smiled and grabbed my hand and we walked into my room closing the door behind us…

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Author’s P.O.V.

   The next day over at Quincy’s apartment, he was planning a nice surprise for Zariah and his four year anniversary that was coming up in a couple weeks. While he was writing down his list of things he could see Zariah coming into the bedroom out the corner of his eye. “Dang girl you can’t be coming in here without announcing yourself,” he said while smiling. He placed the tablet he was writing on in his drawer. He looked up at Zariah and noticed she had a worried look on her face and she kept fiddling with her fingers. “Baby what’s wrong?” He asked with concern in his eyes now.

“Um Q we really need to talk,” she said as her eyes started to gloss up.

“Babe come sit down next to me,” he said as he patted the empty spot next to him. Zariah came and sat next to him. “What’s wrong?” He asked again grabbing one of her hands.

“Um this is not easy for me to tell you and it’s not easy for me t
o say it either,” she started off with as she wiped her tears with her other hand.

“Baby I’m all ears,” he replied.

“It was a false alarm…there is no baby,” Zariah came out and said. She looked into Quincy’s eyes waiting to see some type of sadness or shocked look but no it was just a blank stare in his eyes. “Well do you have anything to say?” she asked.

“Are you serious?” was all Quincy could ask.

Zariah sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “No I’m just pulling this information out of my ass,” she replied back with aggravation in her tone.

“Why you got to say
it like that?” Quincy asked with a perplexed look in his eyes.

“Because you acting like you don’t know what to say, you don’t even seem a little bit sad,”
Zariah replied. She didn’t expect herself to flip it on him; after all it was her idea to fake a pregnancy. Yet at the end of the day she was doing all of this to see if Quincy cared and now here he was showing no emotion that there wasn’t going to be a baby.

“I’m sorry if I don’t know what to say right now
Zariah I mean you just sprung the news on me,” he replied. Zariah looked at Quincy with so much pity in her eyes. Before the tears started falling, she quickly wiped them from the corner of her eyes.

“Well thank you Q,” she said with a small
grin on her face. Quincy looked at her with a confused look in his eyes again.

“For what?” He asked.

“Thank you for showing me how you really feel after all this time.” With that being said she stood up from the bed and began walking out of their bedroom.

“Whoa
, what does that mean?” he asked but Zariah didn’t reply. He jumped up from the bed and stopped her before she walked all the way out of the room. He turned her back towards him. “Zariah I don’t want you to think I don’t care I’m just speechless right now,” he said. Zariah didn’t reply she just stared at him with a disappointing look in her big doe eyes. “I mean maybe this is a sign from God that he’s not ready for us to have one just yet.”

“No Q maybe it’s just a sign from you.”

“Why would you say some shit like that when I told yo ass all I can think about now is us having a family together?” Quincy asked getting pissed now.

“Yeah you did tell me that…but let’s just be honest you only said
it because you only felt like you
had
a responsibility that you’re
forced
to take care of.” Zariah snatched away from him and walked out. Quincy sighed deeply as he heard the front door slam. He was at a point in his life where he was ready to give up on love for good…

                                                               

 
A distraught and teary eyed Zariah sped down the lodge to downtown Detroit. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed her cousin’s number. “Talk to me,” she heard a cheery Yolanda say on the other end of the phone. It hurt Zariah to have to call and ruin her mood, but Yolanda was the only one she could go to about her situation that wouldn’t judge her about it. “Hey Yolanda are you busy?” Zariah asked trying to disguise the fact that she was crying but Yolanda wasn’t stupid, she could hear it in her tone.

“No I’m not busy, what’s wrong sweetheart?” Yolanda asked in return. It was funny how a person can show concern and cause you to break down crying even harder.
Zariah couldn’t hold back her tears anymore; they began to stream down her chocolate brown face.