Honey's Farm (27 page)

She paused in an effort to control the threatened tears. ‘Hari, thank you so much for your concern, but, really, I've gone over and over it all in my mind. Will must feel the only honourable thing to do is to marry Gwyneth. There is no alternative.'

‘Perhaps,' Hari said. ‘One more thing and then I'll shut up. There is the possibility that Gwyneth Parks is mistaken; emotional upsets can have a physical effect on women. Have you thought of that?'

Eline was silent, but into her mind came a picture of Gwyneth's face, pale and so lined with worry that she knew Gwyneth was not mistaken.

‘See Will, at least,' Hari repeated. ‘Talk to him and then at least perhaps everything will be out in the open.' She forced a smile. ‘I think I'd better be going, I've meddled more than enough all ready.'

Will got off the train at Swansea and stared around at the familiar landscape. The smoke from the works along the river bank filled the air, and yet to the south there was the cleaner air of the seaside.

Hari Grenfell wanted to see him again, urgently. The messenger had come to Cardiff bringing the letter by hand. It explained very little, but William knew something must be very wrong if Hari had sent for him in that peremptory way.

On his last visit, there had been little time for discussion; Hari had been too busy preparing for the return of her husband, who had been away on business, to pay much attention to Will's reports. In any case, Will's visit had, of necessity, been a fleeting one. There were problems in the shop in Cardiff that needed immediate action. A pipe had burst, destroying one of Eline's displays, and Will needed help with sorting out the ruined stock.

Hari was waiting for him now, seated in her elegant drawing-room, a tea tray ready before her. As always, she'd known what he was thinking, known he would come on the first train into Swansea.

‘What's wrong, Hari?' he asked anxiously, searching her face.

She smiled reassuringly, gesturing for him to sit down. ‘I'm going to be an interfering old busybody,' she said. ‘Gwyneth Parks is saying she's expecting your child. Is it true, Will?'

He was taken aback by her abrupt question, and for a moment was at a loss how to answer.

‘I realize this has nothing to do with me,' she continued in a rush. ‘But it
is
something to do with Eline Harries. She's so unhappy, Will, so in love with you, that she's cut to the quick by all this.'

Hari sighed. ‘She intends to marry Calvin Temple on the rebound, and I thought you should be here to sort things out.'

Will felt shock hit at the pit of his stomach like a pain. He should have expected it, of course. Calvin had never concealed the fact that he wanted Eline. And Gwyneth, having a baby? It just couldn't be true, could it?

‘This is the first I've heard of any baby,' he said. ‘Surely Gwyneth would have come to me, told me about this . . . this condition she's supposed to be in.'

‘How could she?' Hari said. ‘She was probably going to see you on your last visit to Swansea but, if you remember, it wasn't a very prolonged one.'

She was right. Unless Gwyneth travelled up to Cardiff, what chance would she have of talking to him? The full import of Hari's words hit him then.

‘Christ!' he said. ‘Gwyneth pregnant, and Eline intending to get married to Calvin Temple! What's happening to my world, Hari?'

‘Is it true, then, Will?' Hari urged gently. ‘
Could
this girl be having your child?'

He felt sick and defeated. He knew that Gwyneth loved him to a point past understanding. She would never have given herself to another man.

‘It must be true,' he said. ‘If she is with child, then I'm the father, no doubt about that.'

He felt plagued with a mixture of emotions. He knew he must see Gwyneth Park, sort this mess out, learn the truth from her own lips; and yet he wanted to rush to Eline, beg her not to marry another man. He sighed heavily.

‘Come on, now, love,' Hari said softly. ‘It can't be all that bad, can it?'

When he didn't reply, she continued speaking. ‘Even if Gwyneth is expecting, you could support the child. You needn't throw away your life by marrying a woman you obviously don't love.'

But she was wrong, and Will knew it in his bones. He could not simply pay for his mistake with blood money, leave Gwyneth to the scorn of her neighbours, and allow his child –
his
child – to be brought up with the stigma of illegitimacy hanging over its head.

‘What a sorry mess!' he said, rubbing his eyes. ‘What a stupid fool I've been, taking my pleasure and not thinking of the consequences.'

Hari smiled. ‘That's the nature of man, my love. No good blaming yourself; you must just try to make the best of the situation now.'

He met her eyes. ‘I'll have to marry Gwyneth, if only for the sake of the child; you above all people will appreciate that, Hari.'

‘Look, don't go making rash decisions,' Hari said. ‘Find out for sure if Gwyneth is with child before you do anything hasty. She could be . . . be mistaken about all this, you know.'

Will felt a momentary lifting of his spirits. Hari was right; it could all be a false alarm; these things did happen. But, then, Gwyneth was from a large family of women; they would have advised her to see a midwife, to make sure of her facts.

He rose to his feet. ‘I'll go down to Oystermouth now,' he said. ‘I'll talk to Gwyneth; it's the only thing I can do.'

‘And Eline?' Hari asked quietly. ‘What about her? She loves you, Will; she knows she's made a mistake with this man Calvin Temple, and I think she'll call off the marriage if you go to her.'

He sighed heavily. ‘I would like nothing more than to go to her, to beg her to forget all that's gone and to take a chance on marrying me. I have regular employment now, and though I'll never be wealthy, at least I could support her, give her a home, love her; but I've made too many mistakes, it's far too late for that.'

Hari rose and hugged him, and for a moment Will buried his face in her hair, feeling the warmth and love that came from her, the love that required nothing in return.

On the train to Oystermouth, Will stared back across the bay towards Swansea. The twin hills of Kilvey and Townhill rose protectively around the huddled town, and edging the shoreline the sea washed inwards in a gentle curve.

He sighed heavily; such a lot had happened in the last few months. His business had failed, he'd taken Hari's offer of a job in Cardiff, he had made Gwyneth Parks pregnant, and he had given up the only woman he could ever love. For he
had
given her up; once he took to Gwyneth Parks' bed, he had forfeited all rights to Eline's love and trust.

Will stared out fixedly, longing to cry out his tears of frustration and despair; but men didn't cry, did they?

Oystermouth bay was filled with billowing sails; the oyster boats were going out to dredge for the harvest of oysters that was the lifeblood of the village. It was the strange, temperamental waters of the bay that had caused Joe Harries's accident and ultimately his death. Why hadn't he stepped in then, Will thought in anger, claimed Eline as his own?

He had wanted to offer her the best of everything, a thriving businessman for a husband, a life of ease and luxury; instead he'd become a failure, and too proud to ask her to share that failure. Now it was too late; he had obligations elsewhere, and there was no-one to blame except himself.

He alighted from the train, feeling as though he had wept a thousand tears. The truth was that his eyes only burned from the dust thrown up by the horses' hooves from the well-worn track to Oystermouth. Or at least that's what he told himself.

He paused outside the gallery, and a feeling of nostalgia filled him as he remembered being inside the light, airy rooms with Eline, watching her plan her future.

He paused, seeing that the window was filled with an enormous canvas, a rich painting of the bay with a sailing ship unloading sheep on to the still wet sand. It was an effective and moving picture, and, from the price ticket above it, it would need a very wealthy client to buy it.

The knowledge that Eline was a success filled him with a sense of renewed despair. Everything she touched went well; her designs for shoes were much sought after, and now her gallery was flourishing, with the help of Calvin Temple of course.

No doubt Eline would be better off married to such a man. He was rich, influential; and Eline deserved the best. Slowly, Will turned away.

‘William!' The voice reached out to him softly, like a hand touching his shoulder. ‘Will, please don't walk away.'

He turned to face Eline. She was looking at him longingly, and if ever he'd doubted her love he couldn't doubt it now.

‘Come inside,' she said. ‘I'm here alone; Calvin's in London on business. I was just closing up.'

He went with her and watched as she shut the door and firmly locked it. She turned then and held out her arms and he went into them readily, holding her close.

‘You know?' he whispered, and she touched his cheek with her hand. ‘You know what a stupid, thoughtless fool I've been, throwing away my chance of happiness with you?'

‘I know,' she replied. ‘Hush now, don't say another word. Just kiss me, Will! It will be our farewell to each other.'

He touched her mouth with his, losing himself in the sweetness of holding her, feeling her body pliant against him, relishing the soft swell of her breasts against his chest. His blood seemed to turn to water. He could die at this moment, here in her arms, and be happy.

After a long moment, Eline moved away from him. ‘I love you, Will,' she said. ‘I suppose I'll always love you, but I know you well enough to understand that you have to go to Gwyneth Parks. She needs you now.'

His hands dropped to his sides. ‘Will you marry Calvin Temple?' he asked, knowing he had no right to question her, but driven to it by the jealousy that tore at him.

She shook her head. ‘I don't know, Will. I don't love him, but he understands that.'

She moved away, as though putting as much distance between them as she could. ‘I suppose this is my last chance to live a normal life, to have a family – oh, I don't know!'

The words were anguished, and Will felt a great burden of guilt. It was his fault, all his fault. He had given in to the weakness of the flesh; his need of a woman had driven him into a corner, and here he was now, faced with the irrevocable results.

‘I can't tell you how sorry I am,' Will said. ‘Damn! The words sound so hollow, so meaningless, and they don't begin to express what I really feel.'

‘I know,' Eline said, ‘and I understand, Will. We all make mistakes. I made my biggest mistake when I married Joe Harries just because I was afraid of life, afraid to be alone.'

‘Then don't make the same mistake again,' Will said softly. ‘I've no right to even think that sort of thought, but I can't help it, Eline.'

‘Go now,' she said turning away from him and slowly, Will obeyed knowing there was nothing else he could do.

‘Will!' The name was torn from Eline's lips. ‘Hold me just once more, please.'

They clung together like children drowning in a remorseless sea, and Will longed to fling her down and possess her, put his mark on her, make her truly his. It was ironic that he had never possessed the woman he loved more than life itself.

He released her suddenly and made for the door, afraid to stay any longer. As he hurried out into the street, he could hear the soft sound of Eline weeping.

He walked away, up into the hills of Mumbles, trying to regain his composure. He stared down at the foaming waters rushing in against the cliffs and wondered what it would be like to simply fall into the depths of the sea. It would be a blessed release, and yet he knew in his heart it was a coward's way out, and one he could not take.

It was perhaps an hour later that he returned to Oystermouth, calmer now, his chaotic thoughts tamed into some semblance of order.

Gwyneth looked pale and sick when she opened the door to him. She stared at him for a long moment before stepping back to allow him to enter.

Nina Parks took one look at his face and then rose to her feet. ‘I'll be in the parlour if you want me, love,' she said to her daughter, and the look she gave Will dared him to hurt her daughter even more than he already had.

‘How are you?' he said softly, pityingly.

Gwyneth lifted her head. ‘
Duw
, I'm all right. Girls like me always get by, mind,' she said, with a touching air of defiance.

‘Gwyneth,' Will said more firmly. ‘I want you to marry me.'

The words hung in the air between them, and Gwyneth stared at him, her eyes huge in her pale face.

‘You don't mean that, do you?' she said. ‘You are just doing what you think is right; you don't love me.'

He felt pity tear at his heart, and, on an impulse, he took her into his arms, folding her against him, smelling the salt of the sea in her hair.

‘I think a great deal of you, Gwyneth,' he said, ‘otherwise I wouldn't have taken you to my bed, would I?'

She sighed heavily. ‘I want to believe you, but I know you love Eline Harries. You do love her, don't you, Will?'

‘It's possible to feel . . . affection for more than one woman.' Will avoided a direct answer. ‘I certainly enjoyed making love to
you
, Gwyneth, surely you must realize that?'

‘You've never made love to
her
?' Gwyneth asked, with something like disbelief in her voice.

‘Never,' Will said emphatically. ‘Come on, Gwyneth, you know there's no other way. We will get married, have our baby, and live happily ever after.'

She relaxed against him then. ‘I'm too tired to argue with you. I want you so much that I'll have you on any terms, and if I have to be second choice because Eline is marrying that Calvin Temple, then I'm content with that.'