Hopeful Monsters (16 page)

I said 'Ah Minna, you would be good at fighting duels!'

Minna said 'I could take on most of those boys with one hand behind my back!'

I thought I might say - But Minna, you would anyway have one hand behind your back!

Minna said 'Hoop! Hoopla!' She made slashing movements as if at a boy's loins.

In the matter of duelling there was one caste of persons of course far lower in the pecking order than Jews, and this was women. It was inconceivable that a boy could think of fighting a duel with a woman. I thought - Indeed, they might be frightened of confronting some reality.

I said 'But Minna, you would want to win!'

She said 'Of course I would want to win!'

I said 'But the point of duelling, amongst boys, seems to be to get exquisitely beaten.'

Minna said 'Then I would exquisitely beat them!'

That evening in the beer-cellar when members of The Corps came in they did not, as usual, pay much attention to Franz; but it was now as if they were almost consciously leaving a small space around him. I thought - He has broken, yes, a taboo, by refusing

to become a ludicrous sacrificial victim. It had been rumoured that members of a Jewish fraternity were going to come to the beer-cellar that night: that they had been told that Franz, by walking out of the Mensur, might have insulted someone he had supposed to be a Jew; so they felt themselves insulted even though this person was not a Jew. So it seemed that there might even be a serious fight that night: for if it was felt by The Corps that in some way Franz had disgraced it - which he would not have done if his opponent had in fact been a Jew - then members of The Corps, to redeem themselves, might feel that in this situation they had to accept a challenge even by a Jew.

I said to Minna 'But they are all mad! It would be better if they were all put in a sack, and thrown into the river.'

Minna said 'But if one of the Jewish fraternity challenges one of The Corps to a duel tonight, and if the member of The Corps who would have turned it down on account of the challenger being a Jew, cannot now because of Franz's having walked out of the Mensur, cannot we then perhaps challenge one of the Jewish fraternity to a duel, and they will not be able to turn us down on account of our being women.'

I said 'What?' Then - 'Minna you are mad too! You should have been a boy.'

Minna said 'I know I should have been a boy.' She hugged me.

When the Jewish fraternity came into the beer-cellar that night (they were called The Maccabees) they sat at one table and The Corps sat at theirs and they all sang sad songs; Franz leaned back with his cap on the back of his head and his pipe in front of him as if he were on a tightrope. Then The Corps sang patriotic German songs and The Maccabees sang patriotic Zionist songs, and everyone was drinking more and more beer. So The Corps, as if in response to the Zionist songs, started on one of the obscene songs that they usually did not sing until later in the evening when women were no longer present: this song was called 'The Innkeeper's Daughter' and had innumerable verses in which the sexual exploits of the daughter became ever more bizarre: each member of The Corps round the table was supposed to sing a verse which would outdo the last one in obscenity. This would usually go on until the participants passed out - as indeed would have been likely to happen to anyone trying to keep up with the innkeeper's daughter.

I said 'But Minna, we want to be different from these boys.'

Minna said 'We are different from these boys.'

I said Then we don't want to take all this seriously.'

Minna said 'It is the boys who do not take this seriously!' She made slashing movements with her arm.

There was one member of The Maccabees called Albrecht who was a small angry boy of great energy: it was he who seemed to be stirring himself up to challenge a member of The Corps to a duel. He was singing his Zionist song more loudly than the others; he was banging his mug down on the table so violently that bits of beer seemed to hang in the air like spittle.

I said 'But Minna, do you know how to fight a duel?'

Minna said 'I have achieved my silver medal at fencing!'

I said 'But they won't fight you.'

Minna said 'Then I will hit them over the head with one of their sticks.'

It was a convention amongst Jews that if a member of a Jewish fraternity challenged a member of a non-Jewish fraternity to a duel and the member of the non-Jewish fraternity refused the challenge, then the Jew should hit the non-Jew over the head with his stick; and then a general melee would be likely to ensue, in which Jews might feel that they had salvaged their honour, if not in the conventional manner.

I said 'Minna, do you know what happened when Penthesilia, Queen of the Amazons, challenged Achilles to a duel?'

Minna said 'I know very well, she tore him to pieces.'

I said 'And she ate him.'

Minna said 'Oh I would like to eat Franz!'

The contortions of the innkeeper's daughter were becoming even more outlandish (I was thinking - Songs are such obvious substitutes for sexuality!); The Maccabees had embarked on the Zionist National Anthem, the Hatikvah. (I was thinking - And what should Minna and I sing? The Lorelei? The siren-song that lured poor sailors to their doom?) Then after one of the boys at The Corps' table had sung a particularly obscene verse, Albrecht, at the Maccabees' table, jumped up and went to The Corps' table and stood to attention and said in a loud voice 'I consider such obscenity in front of ladies to be proof, if any further proof were needed, that you are dishonourable men' and he clicked his heels, as if he were a small tree being axed. The noise in the beer-cellar subsided. People were watching the boy at The Corps' table who had sung the last obscene verse: this boy seemed to be too drunk to stand up. Franz was tilted back as if on his tightrope. The boy who had sung the obscene verse

at last managed to murmur 'I don't give satisfaction to Jews' -which was the formula for refusing such a challenge. So Albrecht raised his stick as if to hit the boy over the head with it. Then Minna stood up and said in a loud voice 'And we don't need you to protect ladies, thank you.' Albrecht said 'What?' I thought - Oh Minna, Minna! For a moment we all seemed stuck like flies on a flypaper. Then Minna walked over to Albrecht and tapped him on the shoulder. He stared at Minna. The boy at The Corps' table belched. Everybody laughed. Minna said 'I feel myself insulted; can I please have your card?' This was the formula for the challenge to a duel. Albrecht said 'You?' Minna said 'Yes.' Albrecht said 'But I was trying to defend you.' Minna said 'That is why I am insulted.' Albrecht looked round at the members of The Corps, who were looking embarrassed. Albrecht said 'But, Minna, I can't fight you.' Minna said 'Why not?' Then - 'He won't fight you because you're a Jew.' Albrecht said 'But you're a woman.' Minna said 'You see?' Then she took Albrecht's stick from his hand and made as if to hit him over the head with it.

Then Franz stood up and said 'I will fight you.'

Minna said 'Me?'

Franz said 'No, Albrecht.' Then to Albrecht - 'It's me you really want to fight, isn't it?'

Albrecht said 'Yes.'

Minna said 'But what about me?'

Franz said 'All right, Minna, I will fight you too.'

Minna said 'Will you really?'

Franz stood up and came round the table. The boy who had sung the last obscene verse was trying to stand up. Franz said to him 'Will you be my second?' The boy said 'Yes.' Franz said 'Make all the arrangements for tomorrow morning.' Then he bowed in front of Albrecht. Albrecht bowed. Then Franz held out a hand to Minna. Minna said 'But I was going to fight Albrecht.' Franz said 'Please will you fight me.' He put his arm round her shoulder. Then he turned to me and said 'Will you be our second?' I thought - Oh, Franz, you have done it! Then Franz and Minna and I went out into the night.

There was a full moon: we went a short way up the path that led into the hills. There was a gate into a field: the field was on the slope between the forest and the town. We went into it. The moon made the air silvery; the grass and the trees were black. I thought -

Perhaps we have gone into a world that has been turned the right way up, from what normally goes on upside down.

Minna took off her clothes and lay on the grass. Franz sat beside her with his arms round his knees. I sat slightly apart. We looked down on the town.

Franz said 'You see why I should like the human race to be wiped out.'

I said 'You think men have to fight?'

He said 'If they are to keep their honour.'

I said 'Do they have to keep their honour?'

He said 'They have little else.'

Minna had stood and was stretching her arms above her head; then with straight legs she put her hands on the ground: it was as if she was doing obeisance to the moon.

I said 'You're a physicist; perhaps you will be able to obliterate the world soon.'

He stretched out a hand towards the lights of the town. He said as if quoting - 'I am Lazarus come from the dead.'

I lay back. I thought - Well, why should not something new be happening on this strange planet?

Franz said 'In our home village, which is near Munich, during the street-fighting that happened just after the real war, the White faction took some of the Red faction prisoners. There was one prisoner, a ringleader I suppose, who had been wounded; he was in pain, he kept on yelling; he would bang his head against a wall, trying to die. So his captors got a carpenter to build a very small cage into which they packed him so that his head was down by his knees and he could no longer bang it; he could hardly scream. He made small noises like a bird. They put him in the courtyard of the police station and people came to look at him. Sometimes people pissed on him. When they did this, he was almost peaceful.'

Minna was bent over in the light of the moon. She was like some huge queen bee, an egg. There were some cows or bulls or bullocks in the field; they were coming towards her; they were black shapes, breathing.

I thought - I will try to imagine the man in the cage.

Franz said 'But this is not really the strangest part of the story. Afterwards, when the man was dead, some of the guards, when they were drunk, would play a game in which one would crawl into the cage and some of the others would stand on top of it and

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piss on him. Perhaps they got some sort of peace like this. Perhaps they needed it.'

I thought - But like this, you do not get peace!

Franz shouted 'Minna!'

Minna was walking forwards, with her arms out, towards the herd of cows, or bullocks, or perhaps a bull. I thought - You mean we are all like that man in the cage? Then - It is true that the world is so awful that I would not want to have a child!

There was an enormous black animal that had come to sniff at Minna. She stood facing it, naked, with her arms by her side. I thought - Oh but there is still something that we can learn, if we are brave, we humans.

I said 'But there is a different sort of honour now. Don't we have to start again? I mean the whole human race perhaps start again - '

He said 'Can we?'

I said 'You can tell that story - '

Franz laughed and said 'Nellie!' Then he turned and shouted 'Minna!'

Minna had put out a hand as if to take hold of the horns of the cow or bullock or bull. She seemed to be talking to the animal, stroking its horns.

I said 'Don't we have to become participants in our stories?'

Minna had got hold of the horns of the cow or bullock or bull. The animal jerked its head back. Minna was pulled up and half onto its neck; she was kicking her legs as if to get up on its back; she was like someone scrabbling on a rock face. The animal tossed its head and whirled away; Minna clung on, half dragged, her feet touching the ground every now and then; she and the animal were like some sort of Catherine wheel. Franz got up and ran after her. I stayed where I was. I thought - Oh yes, to participate in our own stories, we would be like gods coming down.

Minna had fallen off the cow or bullock or bull. She was lying like a white hole cut out of the dark grass. Franz was kneeling at her head. He was like a satyr. He had taken his shirt off. With it he was dabbing at Minna's face.

I thought - They have had their duel. How could one explain this? They are the children of Achilles and Penthesilea?

There was a stampede of cows, bullocks or bulls, in the distance; black shapes rushing as if to the edge of a cliff.

I lay back. I must have slept for a time. When I woke, the moon was still full.

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I had had a vision (how does one tell the difference between wakefulness and dreaming?) of Franz kneeling over Minna and Minna kneeling over Franz: they were as huge as the earth and sky: they were entwined; they were interchangeable; they made a circuit. Minna's breasts hung down; Franz's arms hung down; Minna was the earth, Franz a firmament. I thought - There are seeds falling on the ground by which we are all fed. My own head was like the sky on the ground. After a time, I slept again.

Duels fought by The Corps customarily took place at six o'clock in the morning at an inn about an hour's walk from the town. Serious duels were of course illegal, so they had to happen at this place and at this time. I could not remember exactly what arrangements had been made about the duel: it seemed that we had to be at this place the next morning. I thought - But anyway, this or that will happen. Franz and Minna were coming walking towards me across the grass. They were holding hands. They were naked. The moon had gone, and there was a thin watery light. I thought - We will see, won't we, what happens.

Franz said 'You are all right?'

I said'Yes, I'm all right.'

I thought - The earth has been fed, and watered -

- There was that man in the cage: in the end he died.

There was a path along the edge of the forest towards the inn where the duel might be fought. We set off, Franz and Minna and I, in the half-light of dawn, in some sort of procesion. Minna led the way; Franz followed; I came behind. Minna was naked; Franz had put on his trousers; I wore my clothes. I thought - We are like people carrying something sacred in a litter: some god perhaps who is ill; who has had a look at the world, and so now perhaps he will help people to die. Minna carried the branch of a pine tree in her hand; it bounced and waved as she walked, like the wings of a bird. I carried Minna's clothes. I thought - But perhaps Franz will no longer want to die.