Hot Rebel (31 page)

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Nick felt like he was fighting his way out of a forest. He kept tilting headlong into trees. His head hurt. His body hurt. He was hot, and then he was cold. He was also alone. No one was in the forest with him. He searched for faces—Shelly, his mom and dad. Victoria.

They weren’t with him.
 

He didn’t know how long he fought, how long he searched, but suddenly he broke free. Everything was white and bright…

He blinked, confused. A white ceiling. The beeping of machines. The odor of alcohol and antiseptic.

Images dripped into his head one by one. He’d been shot, and he’d been captured—

And Victoria had been captured with him. He tried to shove himself up as panic took root in his soul.

A hand smoothed over his forehead, and a voice whispered to him. He stilled, searching for the source of the voice. It kept speaking, soothing him, and he realized who it belonged to.

“Victoria?”

His own voice was a croak. She appeared in his vision then, leaning over him, her hair dropping over her shoulder and tickling his face before she pushed it behind an ear. It smelled good.

“It’s me. Nice of you to decide to come back to us.”

“Thirsty.”

She lifted a cup and put the straw to his mouth. He took a long drink.
 

“How long have I been out?”

“A couple of days.”

He processed that information. And then he let his gaze slip over her. She looked good, her red hair long and full, her gray eyes filled with concern. But she was sitting in a wheelchair, and that’s when he remembered she’d been shot too.

“How’s the leg?” he asked.

She smiled softly. “Hurts, but it’s getting better. You?”

“Fuck,” he said, closing his eyes for a second. “I think I got run over by a truck.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Where’s your sister?”

Her smile slipped. “She couldn’t stay in the hospital, but thanks to your colonel, she has a room at the Visiting Officers’ Quarters. She’s not hurt, but she’s still a bit in shock, I think.”

“She stabbed bin Yusuf.”

Victoria’s lips pressed together. “Yep, she did. I’m not sure she’ll ever recover from it, quite honestly. But the psychiatrist seems to think she will.”

Nick reached for her hand. Squeezed. “Takes time, Vic. You know that.”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

But she didn’t say anything else, and he wondered what she was thinking. He remembered those few terrifying minutes with Zaran bin Yusuf, Emily, Victoria, and Ahmed. He hadn’t been certain any of them would survive it.

“You were going to sacrifice yourself,” he said, remembering, and her eyes widened just a fraction. But then they were solemn again.

“I couldn’t let him kill her.”

“And I couldn’t let the bodyguard kill you.”

The silence was heavy. And then she lifted his hand to her mouth and pressed her lips to his skin.
 

“I don’t know how you did it, but you saved me.” Her laugh had an edge of hysteria. “Again, I should say. You saved me again.”

“Had to.”

She licked her lips. “Why, Nick? Why did you have to?”

He felt his brows drawing together. Why? He still wasn’t sure how he’d found the strength to launch himself at Ahmed, or why he’d done so other than he would have done it for anyone.

“It’s what I’m trained to do. No choice.”

But that wasn’t the whole answer and he knew it.

Her expression clouded for a second. Then she smiled. “Of course you are.” She let his hand go and sat back in the chair.

He wanted to call her back, wanted to reach through the bars and take her hand in his. But she was sitting with her head bowed and not looking at him.

Then she lifted her head and folded her arms over her middle, her eyes bright and her smile firmly in place.

He didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t know what the hell was going on, or why his heart thumped so hard he thought it might pound out of his chest, or why his eyes felt so gritty. She was here and he wanted to hold her tight, but that wasn’t the right answer either.

He wanted her, but Emily needed her. Emily had been her entire focus for years. Now that she had her sister back, she didn’t need anything distracting her from the life she wanted to have.

Except he wanted to distract her. Badly. “I’m fucking this up.”

“It’s fine. You don’t owe me anything. We’ve had sex a couple of times. No big deal.”

No big deal?

“Victoria.”

She huffed and turned her head to look toward the door. There were people moving around out there, nurses and staff, but he wanted her to look at him. She wouldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?” She waved a hand. “Already told you it’s no big deal.”

“I care about you,” he began, and she whipped her head around to look at him.
That
got her attention. He swallowed. “I care. We’ve had, uh, some fun… and not so fun.”

When he’d thought he might lose her out there… God, it had killed him. It was better if she went home with Emily. That way she’d be safe. Always.

She shook her head, laughing. “Yes, we’ve had fun. Great fun. And not so fun. You, my friend, are a wizard with the words.”

A body appeared in the door, blocking the light, and Nick looked over to see that it wasn’t just one body, but several.
 

“Not interrupting anything, are we?” Richie said.

Victoria motioned them in. “You aren’t interrupting a thing. Come on in.”

Flash walked over and gave Victoria a peck on the cheek. “How you doing, angel?”

Nick would’ve asked when the two of them had managed to get so friendly, but he was too stunned to speak when Victoria gave Flash a dazzling—and real—smile. His heart felt like someone had stomped on it.

Mine
. The word echoed in his brain over and over.
Mine, mine, mine.

“Doing just great, Ryan. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Anytime, angel. Anytime.”

Victoria pulled the wheels of the chair backward, rolling away from the bed. “I should go.”

“No, sweetheart,” someone else said. “Stick around for a while.”

“You don’t have to leave because of us.”

“Plenty of room for all of us here.”

Victoria laughed. “No, really, it’s fine. We were done anyway.”
 

He wanted to say there was no fucking way they were done, but how the hell was he going to do that with all these guys here and him as weak as a newborn kitten?

Flash rolled Victoria to the door. Then he bent and said something that made her giggle right before she disappeared around the corner.
 

Nick saw red as Flash came back over. The rest of the guys shuffled their feet or stared at the monitors. Someone turned on the television.

Nick sucked in a breath. If anyone said anything to him about how hot she was, Nick was going to pull himself out of this bed and clock them.

But then Iceman whistled. “What the fuck did you do to her, dude?”

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Two days after Victoria left Nick’s hospital room, there was a knock on her door. She’d moved to the VOQ to be near Emily since she wasn’t in need of hourly monitoring anymore. Her leg hurt like a son of a bitch, but it was healing. She’d been lucky that it was a clean shot through the outer fleshy part.

The bullet hadn’t hit bone or major blood vessels, so while it hurt and she had to take it easy—and use crutches now—she’d be good as new in a few weeks.

Thank God.

Her heart, however, wouldn’t fare as well. Stupid her wanting to know if Nick had launched himself at Ahmed for a different reason than just because he’d been trained to do it. Stupid her for pushing him for an answer when he clearly didn’t have one she’d want to hear.

“Come in,” she called, figuring her visitor was Emily. Her sister was quiet and intense lately, but she was doing remarkably well considering the circumstances. There was still a lot that Emily wasn’t telling her, but she thought with time it would come out.

Time and distance. She needed to get Emily away from Qu’rim for her healing to continue, but she didn’t know when that was going to happen.

The door opened, but it wasn’t Emily. It was Nick.
 

Her heart thumped at the sight of him looking so big and well. She wanted to get up and fling her arms around him, but what good would that do? It would only embarrass her further. Pitiful little virgin girl, falling for the first man to show her how good sex could be. It was like a silly romance novel or something. Since when did that happen in real life?

Nick frowned. “You didn’t come back.”

She told herself to stay calm. “No, I didn’t.”

He walked inside and shut the door. His arm was in a sling, but he didn’t have to hobble the way she did. He looked remarkably fit for a man who’d seemed to be at death’s door only a few days ago.

“Why not?”

“I, uh, wasn’t sure I should.”

He walked over and stood above her, looking formidable and irritated. “I thought we were friends, Victoria.”

Oh God, could he torture her any worse? She clasped her hands in her lap and looked away. “We are friends.”

He reached down and gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You’re pissed at me.”

She worked to keep her expression blank. “Why do you say that? I’m not pissed. I’m fine.”

“Fine? Yeah, you act fucking fine—why won’t you talk to me? Tell me the truth?”

Anger built inside her, billowing and rolling until it had to break free. She slapped his hand away.

“You’re a complete dickhead, Nick Brandon, and you don’t even fucking know why!” She pushed herself upright, grabbed her crutches, fumbling with them and nearly falling in the process, then put some distance between them. Then she turned and shot him a glare.

He was looking at her like she’d grown an extra head. “Why is it I never understand what the hell is going on with you? You’re the one person I can’t figure out no matter how much I try.”

Oh, that did it. “My God, you must be one of the densest men on the planet! And I am most certainly one of the stupidest women. You swagger into my life with your badass attitude, your”—she waved her hands around—“ridiculously muscular body, and your complete and total decency as a human being, and then you talk and talk, and I fall for all your bullshit charm. Next thing I know, I’m all over you, wanting you like I’ve never wanted any man before, and you’re rocking my world and making me feel amazing—”

He was looking at her with big eyes, and she suddenly felt so stupid and so defeated, like she was utterly pitiful and he was just now learning it. No, she wasn’t cool. She wasn’t in control, and she damn sure wasn’t getting out of this with her heart intact.
 

She sighed and plopped down on the bed. “The problem, Preacher Boy, is that I like you. Really like you. As in I want more of you, and I want it pretty much all the time. When I thought you might die out there, I prayed that you wouldn’t. I told God I’d rather he take me than you because at least I wouldn’t have to know what it was like to live in a world without you in it.”

She looked up, found him watching her intently. She laughed. “How fucked up is that, right?”

He looked shell-shocked. “Jesus, Victoria.”

“I know. It’s absolutely crazy, but I fell for you. And maybe it’s good you don’t feel that way about me, because look at what happened to Emily when she went chasing after a man. I can’t—I
won’t
—be that incomplete without you. I’ll figure it out, so you just turn around and walk out that door and congratulate yourself on a lucky escape.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Nick’s heart was pounding out a crazy rhythm. She was sitting there on that bed, looking so beautiful it hurt, and telling him she loved him. At least that’s what he thought she was saying, because she hadn’t actually said it.

He’d heard it before, usually from women he’d dated for a few weeks, or sometimes from a woman he’d just fucked. Those women were usually tipsy and a little too effusive with their praise.
 

Once those words were said, he was gone. It was better that way.

But now it was odd because Victoria hadn’t said the words, but he wanted her to. Wanted to hear them damn bad, in fact.

“I didn’t want you to die out there either.”
 

He hadn’t made any bargains with God, but he’d made them with himself. Get her out of danger, no matter the cost. Take the bullet meant for her if it came down to it. Because he had to. Because he couldn’t contemplate doing any differently.

And it wasn’t just the job. It was her. He wanted her to stay with him—and he needed her to go so he could breathe again.
 

“That’s sweet, Nick. I appreciate your saying that, but it’s not quite the same, is it?” She sighed. “I wasn’t very specific with God, I’m afraid. I said I’d rather not live in a world without you in it. I didn’t say I wanted to live with you if you survived, and I guess I should have. God has a sense of humor.”