House of Slide Hybrid (33 page)

“Dari,” he said without looking at me.

I collapsed beside him, not worrying about what it would look like, me on his bed without worrying if my legs crossed his or not. “Ash, tattoos are too hard. I want to be strong, to do it on my own without sucking the life out of Lewis again the way that Devlin did to me, but I don’t know if I can. I haven’t seen him for weeks. I can’t remember why I’m trying.”

“Empathy. You can’t stand hurting someone the way you’ve been harmed,” he responded in a dull voice.

I laughed, more of a snort really. “Oh, right. It must be the Wild in me, being stubborn and paranoid and unable to be with the person I love because of irrational fear that comes true the more I fear it. I hate empathy. I hate knowing that I am capable, that I sucked out his soul the way Devlin did and Lewis keeps coming back for more. Only, he’s not coming back right now.” I shook my head tightly. “It’s good. I guess. He only almost dies around me, right? I’m sure he’ll be fine out fighting wars with Hunters and Demons and monsters and whatever.”

I sniffed and blinked back tears waiting for Ash to respond.

He didn’t say anything for a long time. When I turned my head to look at him I saw the translucence of his skin, his gaze that hadn’t shifted from the spot on the ceiling, the fact that he wasn’t looking at it, wasn’t hearing me, wasn’t there struck me as a chill went down my spine.

“Ash?” I poked his shoulder with a finger. He didn’t even twitch. I had a sudden panic that he was dead with glazed open eyes that would never see anything again. “Ash!” I shoved against him and he finally blinked slowly, but he didn’t focus on me, didn’t see anything.

I rolled off the bed hauling him with me, out, somewhere so he couldn’t stare at the ceiling. He moved with a jerkiness that showed how disconnected he was to his body. He was a zombie, soul-flying out of this crap world for somewhere better.

His mother was leaning against the wall in the hallway, her large eyes full of pain and despair that I hadn’t noticed before. How could she stand there while her son faded away? Why didn’t she do something, anything?

“How long has he been like this?” I demanded then felt bad because it wasn’t her fault that Ash decided to fade away. She was Cool; she probably respected his right to live or die. Luckily I was a Hybrid and by my Wild blood should really start meddling with other people’s lives whether they wanted me to or not.

“Is it okay if I take him for a drive in his car? I think he could use some fresh air.” I offered her a cheerful smile, like I could make everything better if I stretched my mouth wide enough.

She only nodded then pointed to a hook on the wall with a key hanging on it. I grabbed the key, still dragging Ash who felt so light and empty that I was sure I could carry him like a baby if I had to.

“Where are we going?” he asked as I pushed him into the passenger seat of his car then went around to drive.

“We’re going to liberate them.” It was the first thing that came to my mind when I tried to think about what could possibly interest him enough to keep him there. He didn’t nod, didn’t say anything else, like he’d forgotten the question as soon as he’d asked it. At least he’d asked.

I only killed the car three times before we got to the corner. Ash was kind enough not to say anything, or maybe he didn’t care. I started talking, don’t really know what I talked about, safe things, like how I wondered why I was so lame at stuff with my soul when Lewis had been so amazing, like he could fight Satan without his super fury powers, and I couldn’t drive a car.

“Skills,” he said when I took a breath.

I stared at him, and almost ran off the road. Man, Lewis made it look so easy to drive and look at me at the same time.

“What?” I asked after I’d swerved and managed to keep us from dying. Ash frowned slightly and held onto the door handle, but he didn’t look worried.

“He developed skills like Osmond. And he leaned. Really good considering…” His voice faded away.

“Typical. I’d like for us to be even on some level. In fact, I’d like to be better than him at something.” I also wanted Ash to say something else. Having him respond when he’d looked so dead back at his house made me think that maybe this might actually work.

“Sleeping,” was his mumbled reply.

I almost stared at him again, but caught myself before I ran off the road. “It’s true; I am a pretty good sleeper. It seems like any time anything interesting happens to me, I sleep half a week away. Do you know, I’ve been unconscious at least four times in the last year? Maybe it’s a specialized kind of narcolepsy.”

Ash didn’t respond to that, or the next six subjects I rambled about. The yard was forty-five minutes away, and driving took a lot of my attention. I almost didn’t have anything left over to worry about the way Ash slouched lower and lower in his seat.

It was a relief to see the chain-link fences with the ‘beware of electrocution’ signs. I drove past the main gate and circled the yard. It smelled vile in spite of the chilly weather, and I tried not to imagine it in July. It did not work. Ash frowned slightly, so maybe the smell was getting to him too. That was a good sign.

“Now what?” I asked when I parked next to a fence. I could see another fence across the field and another one beyond that with the dipping black heads of the cows crammed together behind it.

“What?” Ash asked, looking like he’d just woken up from a long nap that he was going to fall back into any moment.

“We’re here to liberate the cows. I could try and figure this out on my own, but I’m not really a planner. What if we drive the car through the main gates, and then herd as many cows through before we get caught?”

Ash looked out the window, seeing where we were for the first time. He sat there, his head turned away from me for a really long time and I thought that he was gone again, lost in his own world until he turned and looked at me, and I saw something in his eyes that kind of freaked me out. It was scary that he’d go from near comatose to crazy person that fast. He smiled at me then, a smile that was so unbalanced that it reminded me of Satan.

“No,” he said slowly, with that still creepy smile. “We don’t need the car.” He opened his door and got out not noticing that he wasn’t wearing a coat. Crap. I should have taken care of that kind of thing, but that was what Snowy was for. I followed him out of the car, shoving my hands in my pockets while my breath swirled around me.

So basically the plan was for me to watch Ash stand in the cold for a really long time. I leaned against him for shared warmth, but he didn’t feel very cold anymore. Cool, but not shivering out of his skin the way he should have been on a day as frosty as that while he stood so still.

“Ash?” I asked after we’d been standing there until my toes froze.

“Pretty soon,” he said sounding distracted, but not only distracted. His voice was back, the rich, low timbre that had me leaning closer to him, feeling soothed by his words whatever they were. Whatever was going on, my plan was working after all. I felt delighted and cold. Maybe he was giving the cows peace of mind, a sense of tranquility as they faced their abysmal life and impending death. He could be a cow preacher and read them their rites before they died. I’d given him purpose, and now he wouldn’t fade away to nothing. I felt really quite proud of myself. Then I noticed the rumbling sound—the rumbling sound that was not my stomach even though I was hungry after not eating for who knew how many days. Dust. There was dust in the air in February.

I heard the sound of creaking, and Ash grabbed me and shoved me in the car, diving after me. We were a tangle of arms and legs before I managed to prop myself up and look out the window right before a bovine head smashed into it. I jumped backwards as the cow bounced off the glass and a large crack spider-webbed out to the frame. The car rocked as the suddenly mobile slaughterhouse cows surged into the road.

Ash grinned at me, the maddest smile I’d ever seen, and I think I managed a “We’re going to die,” before Ash got a funny look on his face, a look that while still alive wasn’t exactly happy.

“Something’s wrong,” he said shaking his head slowly like he was trying to clear it. “Where’s your uncle,” he said suddenly staring at me. “Who is protecting you?”

I opened my mouth then closed, it, my need to answer him put off when another cow rammed the side of the car.

“We’ve got to get out of here,” he said untangling himself from me to slide into the driver’s side and crank the engine. His hands were shaking while he muttered under his breath gone from passive, to crazy, to out of his mind scared in a matter of minutes. Something terrified him, absolutely terrified him.

“This is not good,” he said quietly. Well, maybe it wasn’t too quiet, because I couldn’t hear much over the bellowing and thumping and tromping of the creatures. Ash stopped turning the key while he tried to take deep even breaths. When he turned and looked past me, behind me, I followed his gaze and saw cows flying.

I blinked and saw yet another cow fly through the air and vanish into the raging herd.

Finally the car roared to life and Ash pushed the gas down. He was a much better driver than I was, not that that was a challenge, but I couldn’t see how even Lewis could go anywhere while we were in the middle of a stampede. I’d forgotten who started the stampede. The cows shifted, changing directions while Ash began to sweat, pulling into the herd where they went ahead of us, parting like a brown sea as per Ash’s leaning. I felt a rush of profound respect for Ash who had never shown how awesome leaning could be.

I looked behind us and saw more cows flying through the air, closer this time. Ash went faster, the cows parted before us, then closed behind, but not fast enough for me to not see the enormous man throwing cows at us. He made the cows look like goats, made my uncle Satan look like a child. I felt a familiar chill and heard whispering that I knew from experience I wasn’t really hearing. It was like the time I’d been chased by demons when they’d brushed the edge of my consciousness trying to drive me insane. It helped that Ash was there, calm and collected like my father even if we were being chased by monsters, but I could see that he was as scared as I was, with shaky hands and pale skin. Hopefully he wasn’t on the verge of throwing up, like me.

Ash drove really well, like he could see where the cows would land or something. Maybe he could, I had no idea about the limits of a full blooded Cool, had no idea of the limits of myself. I’d never before truly appreciated how big cows were, particularly when they’re flying through the air towards the beat up old hatchback you’re riding in.

“Drive faster,” I yelled then choked on the dust, the haze that was spreading through the car picked up by the descending rays of the sun. Demons hated light. They should not be running around chucking cows during the day.

“WhooHoo!” he yelled and actually grinned at me as he shoved the pedal down.

Apparently terror could only do so much for a person’s sanity. Insanity? I felt a surge of hope because we were outpacing the demon man in Ash’s car and we were almost through the cows.

Until one hit us.

The car swerved. Ash turned the wheel back and forth then we felt the impact as another cow struck the car. It was knocked off its wheels until we were upside down sliding across the road, hit something else then flipped back over.

I was on the floor, not sure how I had gotten there. When I lifted my head, I could see through the back window the demon man as he came slowly towards us. At this range I could make out the details of his smile, the corners of his mouth turning up, a mouth that was a gaping hole that would swallow me. His eyes were black tinged with red. I could see dark purple veins under the skin of his face like oil flowed through his veins or something worse. It went from smiling to snarling as it lunged at me, making me jump back and hit my head. As he stared at me with those empty, soulless eyes, I knew that I was going to die in the most painful way imaginable.

Then he exploded.

The back window was coated in black that I couldn’t see through then it burst into flame, the smell permeating the car, filling my lungs with acrid smoke that tasted like rotting. Through the flickering tongues of flame I made out a figure that walked towards us, small compared to the demon man with auburn hair and eyes that burned unbelievably bright, the strongest, most capable person I knew. I watched as Lewis stumbled to his knees then fell to the pavement.

I kicked and pounded on my door until it opened with a screech that would put Satan’s car to shame then started running. I had to jump over the flame that still chased across the road, eating up the demon splatter and leaving the scent of decay and ashes.

Lewis lay on his side with one hand stretched above his head like he was reaching for me. When I got to his side, I dropped to my knees, pushing the hair out of his eyes to see his face. His skin felt like silk under my fingers, the smooth planes of cheek, the pulse I could feel beating when I rested my hand on his throat gave me an indescribable sense of relief—of being in the right place with the right person, and nothing else mattered, except of course the fact that he wasn’t moving.

“I think he’s burned out,” Ash said, one step behind me.

I had a vivid recollection of demon men and burning, being torn apart by throbbing headaches and wished desperately that Old Peter could set all of this straight. I swallowed as I reminded myself that Old Peter was dead because of me and that Lewis would probably be dead if I didn’t do something soon. I tried to breathe while I stroked his cheek, trying to think up a plan but the air was so heavy with the demon man scent that I couldn’t think, could barely bite back the scream that clambered in my chest.

Ash knelt beside me and grabbed Lewis’s wrist in his fingers to take his pulse. Lewis’s hand twisted, grabbing Ash’s wrist in return even though the rest of him seemed limp. Ash got this weird look on his face, then blinked and nodded like something made sense. “More are coming. We’ve got to get out of here, somewhere safe.”

Had Lewis managed to communicate with Ash like Grim had done with his runes? More were coming. I nodded but the breathing thing wasn’t going so well and neither was the planning. What was I supposed to do with a burned out Lewis? I had to take him home and hope that my mother or Grim could think of something to help him. His skin was so hot, his breathing raspy and dry, like every breath was a struggle through the heat that burned him.

“We can’t go back to Sanders,” Ash said. “Lewis showed me the others that are coming. He was tracking this demon man.” He took his time swallowing. “Apparently we’re very lucky to be alive but we won’t be if we don’t get out of here fast.”

Where else was there to go? Would running in a random direction as fast as we could be any better while Lewis struggled to breathe, struggled to keep his heart beating?

Ash dropped Lewis’ hand, now as lifeless as the rest of him, before he ran back to the car. When I realized what Ash was doing, I had a moment wondering whether or not he’d flipped out and was about to leave me, but there was nothing I could do about it. I could not force my hand to pull away from Lewis, to leave him there dying even if all the demons in the world were coming for me.

Ash pulled up close enough that I could feel the heat of the engine before he turned off the car. For those moments that I sat beside Lewis, I felt more peace than the weeks I hadn’t seen him, peace in spite of the fact that once more I’d brought him to the ground.

It wasn’t the time to think about that, not when Ash and I had to somehow get Lewis into the passenger seat of the car. He may have been smaller than the demon man and my uncle but he was still hard for a barely alive Cool boy and a girl without a fury to move. I kept my arms wrapped around his waist while Ash grabbed his legs until finally we were all in and Ash took the wheel, apparently firmly planted in this reality even if his hands shook.

I sat on the passenger’s seat with Lewis while his head lolled on my shoulder. Jammed between Ash and Lewis, I felt Lewis burn, the heat of him soaking through me, heat that had taken him somewhere I couldn’t reach him.

I smoothed his forehead, tangling my fingers in his silky auburn hair while I studied his eyebrows, the emptiness of his face as he lay unresponsive on my ugly black coat. He couldn’t die. He looked peaceful, his face relaxed before his eyebrows drew together and he groaned. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, closing out the world, the possibility of ever letting him go.

When I opened my eyes I saw Ash concentrating on the road away from where we’d come, skirting cows where they had stopped running, staring stupidly at each other and us as we drove through them. I didn’t want to think about the idiocy of this whole thing and yet Ash was doing better.

I should have found another way that didn’t put both of us in danger. I should kept myself safe so that Lewis wouldn’t take another hit for me. I gasped around the pain lodged in my chest. Even with him unconscious and burning, even if I could see his skin become chalky, could feel the struggle as his lungs worked for air, it felt so good to have him with me. I shouldn’t feel like that, not when he was so close to gone, not when he might leave me forever at any moment.

“Where are we going?” I asked Ash, forcing my focus on something else.

Ash answered in the same enticing low voice that made me lean closer, almost distracted me from the way Lewis’s lips were turning pale.

“I saw something when Lewis grabbed my hand, a camp where we should be safe and get help for Lewis. I don’t think we’ll be able to make it to Sanders without running into something really bad.”

“So where is this camp?”

He looked uncomfortable, like suddenly he was expected to have answers when he’d just woken up to this reality. “West? I didn’t get specific instruction from Lewis, just general directions. I should be able to sense it when we get closer. I think it’s a good place to go since Lewis was thinking about it when he grabbed my wrist, but I’m not sure. I’m not sure he thinks it’s a good idea. He’s not coherent.”

“He’s not coherent? What does that mean? He’s unconscious, obviously not coherent.” I tried to keep my voice calm and level, but Lewis was in my lap, my responsibility to keep safe when I had no power, no ability, nothing about me that could guarantee his survival. We had to find safety fast. We had to find Hotbloods, someone like Old Peter who could fix Lewis the way that Old Peter had helped me. I needed to know what to do in case of an emergency. I didn’t even know CPR. Would CPR help him? I rested my lips on his temple, ignoring the heat of his skin. His chest rose and fell steadily. Breathing wasn’t the problem.

Ash shook his head. “I’ve got bits of scenery, a direction imprint and people who might help or might hurt,” he shrugged. “Most of his mind and will is focused on you. With how much he’s consumed by the bond...” He broke off, and I felt frustrated by the knowledge of his soul, drawing him towards me, towards danger because of something stupid I’d done without thinking, trying to help, trying to save him in the warehouse. What if this camp was another trap, something that should help but instead hurt him worse?

It should have bothered me that Ash knew about the unfinished bond, that he could sense it, but who even slightly aware of soul stuff could miss it? It was my fault, so I shouldn’t be relishing the way his skin felt under my fingers, shouldn’t have felt relief at the weight of him on my leg, stomach.

“Maybe,” Ash said slowly, “We should drive as far West as we can before we run out of gas, fill up and then stop at a Motel for the night. I don’t want to be driving in the dark when the really scary stuff comes out. I wonder how the demon man found us. That’s disturbing.” He didn’t sound scared but he was right. The idea that the creature and others like him had known where we were going to be made my breath catch.

I nodded because the plan was a plan and I didn’t have anything else, not that I would have trusted any ideas I had. We wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t had a brilliant idea about freeing cows, but Ash sounded actually coherent, reminding me of how much I’d missed hearing him while he was off in that world. I was glad to feel the strength of him beside me. I knew somehow that as long as he was able, I could count on him to be my friend.

I leaned my head against the back of the seat, eyes closed, pressed against Ash’s arm while Lewis’s weight pressed down on me, heavy, too hot, and so still. He wasn’t made to be still and silent. He was a fire, burning, consuming, so alive that I couldn’t help but borrow some of that life when I was with him. I ran a hand over his shoulder, down his arm to his hand where it lay on my knee. I touched the scar over his thumb, feeling the roughness of his callouses, the silkiness under it. His heat ebbed, leaving his extremities cold.

I squeezed the fingers, rubbing to restore circulation, willing his heart to beat the hot blood, to keep beating, to keep alive his brilliant flame. He had to keep burning, to keep beating. He couldn’t burn out like just another Hotblood who lost control. He couldn’t be left empty, cold, when my whole life was based on being strong enough to be with him. He had to wait for me to be that person that could protect him the way he was always protecting me. I couldn’t lose him, not when I’d barely learned how to live, not when he’d given me his soul so that I could know what life felt like.

I wrapped my arms around him while I pressed my face against his back, the scent of his shirt reminding me of warmth, of sunshine on leaves, of wind and ashes. It seemed to me that if I held onto him tight enough he couldn’t go cold and die, like I could hold him in this world with me by sheer will.

“How are the tattoos going,” Ash asked suddenly, like he’d just remembered that I’d been getting them.

His words jarred me.

“Fine,” I answered, glad the word didn’t come out a sob. I felt like I was sobbing but I was as still as Lewis was. I had almost forgotten why I was getting tattoos but here was the answer. I turned my face against the thin fabric of his t-shirt, feeling the texture, wanting to remember forever the heat and strength beneath the fragile fabric. He had to survive this so I could finish tattoos, so I could be trained and dangerous, so I could protect him from the terrors of my world.

I relaxed as I breathed in the scent of him, unable to resist the effect of my soulmate on my well-being. I held his hand, refusing to relax that while the rest of my body softened, curling around Lewis in a space too small for both of us.

I must have slept because it was dark when I woke to the jolt of Ash pulling into the parking lot of a seedy looking Motel. The lights of the town seemed far away from the beige two story where it hovered on the fringes. Ash sat for a second, his face lit strangely by the streetlight before he turned to me.

“We’re going to need cash for a room. Do you have money?”

I shook my head mutely.

“Maybe Lewis has some in his pocket.”

I stared at Ash while I tried to force myself to sit up, to untangle myself from Lewis. I hated pulling away, hated that I was disturbing Lewis, however unresponsive he was as I shifted him, trying to get access to his pockets.

I twisted then slid my hands down his sides and into the pockets of his pants. My heart was pounding and I could feel the heat in my cheeks when I fished the wadded up bills out and handed them to Ash. He nodded then got out of the car, leaving me alone with Lewis. I slid my hands down his sides again, noticing how the heat was still there, in his body, even though it was gone from his hands and arms.

I rubbed his arms, feeling a rising panic as I waited for Ash to return. I stared at the face in the darkness, a face that I knew even if I could barely see the shadow of his cheekbone, the line of his eyebrow. What would it be like to never see those burning eyes again? It had been hard enough to refuse to see him when I’d been getting tattoos for his own safety.

Ash broke me out of my thoughts when he came back, sliding into his seat then handed me a room key before he brought the car to life. “Did you see anything or anyone unusual?” he asked me.

I shook my head. I should be thinking about how to protect him now, not getting panicky about him burning out, not when there wasn’t anything that I could do about it.

The next few minutes dragged as we waited until the road was empty and Ash said that it was clear so we could take Lewis from the car into the Motel. We had Lewis pinned between us as we maneuvered him out of the car, across the sidewalk and through the door. It took some fiddling to get the door open, then when we got to the bed Ash pushed and I pulled. When Lewis went over I went with him, trapped beneath his weight and warmth.

“Ash, help,” I squeaked, wriggling but going nowhere. If I didn’t manage to escape his weight pretty soon, I would stop trying.

“You’re really soulmates, right?” Ash asked as he sat on the edge of the other bed to take off his shoes. “Touching you should help him. What’s it like?” he asked, looking curious and a little bit embarrassed.

“Heavy,” I said, not sure what he was asking.

“I mean, he’s your soulmate and you have that unfinished bond, but you’re not…” he frowned like he didn’t know what he was asking any more than I did.

“Ash,” I said while the weight of Lewis pressed me into the old creaky mattress. “Can you please help me?”

“Oh, right,” he said shaking his head like he’d forgotten that Lewis was on top of me for a minute. He may have been firmly in his body but he was still Ash, still Cool. He grabbed Lewis’s shoulders, pulling him beside me so that I could easily slide out from under the leg and arm that were still draped over me if I wanted to. I took a deep breath and smelled only Lewis. I didn’t want to move further away and Ash had given me the perfect excuse not to.