How Forever Feels (4 page)

When his phone did finally buzz in a text late that afternoon, it wasn't from Maya, as he'd hoped. It was from Will.

I'm home. Come on over.

Shit. He hit reply and started to type out an excuse then stopped and deleted it. He'd put it off far too long already and now that he was in the same town, there was no chance he'd be able avoid it indefinitely.

Wasn't like he was getting any work done anyway.

On my way
.

It took him a couple minutes to actually move after he'd sent his reply and even then, he opted to leave his Jeep at the hotel. It wasn't a very long walk to Will's and it would give him a few more minutes to try and square things up in his mind. So what if he hadn't been able to do it in the last two years; he always worked better with a deadline, and that deadline was now about ten minutes away.

“Get your leash, Pete, I'm not doing this alone.”

Good dog that he was, Pete was only too happy to go with him; so with the bulk of his leash clamped in his mouth, Pete sat patiently by the door, his tail thumping against the floor while Jack tied his shoes.

“It's fine,” Jack muttered to himself. “You'll go, you'll play nice, you'll leave. Shouldn't be that hard, right?”

Wrong. Because no matter how hard he'd tried, Jack had never been able to get past the fact that Will hadn't just cheated, he'd cheated on
Maya,
and that ground away at Jack every time he talked to Will and every time Stella's name was mentioned.

And Will mentioned her a lot.

He'd never fully explained what happened between him and Maya; he'd just moved on with Stella without so much as a hiccup or a speed bump, and Jack hadn't pushed for an explanation because…well…because he was a chickenshit. Genie still hadn't gotten through her grief over losing Burt, so the last thing she needed was Jack making everything worse by going a couple rounds with her son over the whole mess. So he'd done what he'd always done and kept his mouth shut.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen or spoken to Will since the split, because he had. And every time, it was like they'd made a silent pact to just not talk about it; so the tension lingered, but they both pretended to ignore it.

The few times he'd talked to Stella on the phone, he'd managed to make small talk with her without too much difficulty; but this would be the first time he ever met her face-to-face and he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to keep his mouth shut this time.

So with the late afternoon sun on his back, he rounded the last corner and headed straight for Will's house.

The last time he'd been there, Maya had only been gone a few days, so there were still signs of her everywhere; hanging baskets bursting with color, gardens that didn't dare let weeds in, and a lawn that was mowed in perfect straight lines.

Now…well, the grass was cut, so that was something.

“Jackie Boy!” His smile wide, Will jerked Jack in for a quick slap-on-the-back hug, then stood aside and waved him and Pete into the house. “Come on in. How you been?”

“Good. You?”

Pete didn't wait for either one of them, just made a line for the back door, the same thing he'd always done when they'd come to visit. As Jack followed Will through the living room and into the kitchen, he mentally flipped through the pictures Will had sent him the day Maya left—the day Jack learned just how much of a dick Will really was.

Since then, Jack had discovered that Maya'd known about Will and Stella for the better part of a couple months before she finally left, and yet neither she nor Will had said anything to Jack about what was going on. He could understand Maya not saying anything, but Will? God, how many times had they talked and Will had never so much as hinted that anything was wrong.

If Jack hadn't seen photos of the damage himself, or been part of the cleanup crew, he never would have believed someone as small and sweet as Snip had that much rage inside, but even now it made him smile a little. Broken dishes, the contents of the fridge dumped out all over the kitchen floor, the shattered plasma screen, chunks of a crystal vase embedded in the wall, and that damn nine iron sticking out of the computer monitor. The best picture in the batch, though, was the one showing a steady trickle of water that had seeped down through the ceiling from the leaking water bed upstairs.

“Sorry we couldn't meet you last night,” Will said. “But Stella drags me to dance lessons on Tuesday nights—can you believe that shit? Says she won't have me looking like that
Seinfeld
chick at the wedding.”

“She's not wrong, dude, I've seen what you call dancing and it ain't pretty.” Jack tried to laugh as he took the beer Will offered but it was pretty pathetic. After letting Pete out, he slumped back against the counter. “Does that mean you set a date?”

“Yeah, it's—”

“Is that Jack?” Stella's voice made it into the room a second before she did. “Jack! It's so good to finally meet you in person.”

Before he knew what was happening, she had her arms around him and her cheek pressed up against his chest.

“Uh, yeah,” he forced out. “You too.”

If they'd met under ordinary circumstances, it was possible Jack might have liked her. She seemed happy and friendly enough, and with her dark hair cut short like that, she kind of looked like a pixie or something, but these weren't ordinary circumstances, and no matter how friendly she was to him, it took an enormous effort for him to be anything more than civil to her.

When she finally stepped back, she walked right over to Will and tucked herself up under his arm.

“Did Will tell you the news?” She didn't give either of them time to answer, just kept talking. “We set the date for November seventh.”

“What—wow!” Jack choked. “That's…soon.” Like six or seven weeks soon.

“I know, but Will thought it'd be easier for you if we did it while you're here, and it's not going to be a big deal, just a simple ceremony with close friends and family.” She gave Will's arm a squeeze, then pointed to the bowls of chips and pretzels on the counter. “Why don't you guys take those outside and get comfortable? I just have a few things to finish up, and then I'll bring the tux catalog down so Jack can see what we picked out for him.”

Jack held his breath until he heard her hustle up the stairs.

“Are you shittin' me?”

“About what?”

“About the tux! You don't expect me to be your best man again, do you?”

“Yeah.” Will actually looked confused for a second as he handed Jack the bowl of pretzels then led him out to the back deck. “Why not?”

“Really?”
Jack snorted. “Does the name Maya McKay ring a bell?”

“She's got nothing to do with this.”

“Wrong; she's got
everything
to do with this.”

“God almighty, Jack, she left me two years ago, and yeah, it was my fault and I'm sorry about that.” Sighing loudly, Will blinked away from Jack and shook his head. “I don't know how many more times I have to say it before you get over it.”

“I don't know either, because that's the first time I've ever heard it come out of your mouth, and I gotta tell you, buddy, it didn't sound even a little bit convincing.”

Jack didn't know if it was because this was the first time he'd called Will on it, or if it was because Will was honestly sorry, but something made Will actually stop, sigh, and nod slowly.

“Hand to God, Jack, I'm sorry. I was a total prick, I know, but come on, are we really going to do this now? Does it even matter anymore?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say no, to let it go again. So why was he nodding?

“It matters to me. I've had your back this whole time, you know that, but if you want me to stand up there with you again, then you need to explain what happened with Maya and make me understand why you think this one”—he thumbed toward the house—“is going to be any different.”

“You've never asked before.” Will swiped his hand across his mouth and sighed. “I didn't think you wanted to know.”

“I didn't.”

“But you do now? Why?”

“Because I ran into Snip last night and the whole time I was talking to her, I kept thinking what a dick you were for what you did and what a dick I was for just blindly taking your side like I always do. She deserved better than that.”

To his credit, Will didn't argue. Instead, with a jerk of his head, he motioned for Jack to follow him down onto the grass.

“You want to know, I'll tell you, but it's just going to piss you off.”

“Already there, brother.”

“Okay.” He took a long drink from his bottle, wiped his hand across his mouth and nodded briefly. “The truth is I didn't even want to get married—the whole thing was a mistake right from the get-go.”

“What the hell do you mean you didn't want to get married?”
Do not punch him
. “And if that's how you felt, why the fuck didn't you tell her?”

“I tried! Okay, I didn't come right out and say it, but God knows I dropped enough hints. I mean, I liked her, sure, but there was no way in hell I was thinking marriage. She and I had only been together a few months, remember? We met at that stupid party just after Christmas and suddenly in June I woke up one morning engaged! Honest to God, I don't even know how that happened. We'd been out celebrating, remember, it was the night TMJ offered to buy your first game.”

“I know.”

“Then you know how drunk we were. Jeezus, Jack, I don't even remember proposing to her, so for all I know, she could've made the whole thing up.”

Jack ground his teeth together as Will went on.

“As soon as I realized what the hell happened, I was going to break it off with her, I swear to God, but she'd already told Mom and, well, shit, Jack.” Will huffed out a breath that seemed to be full of both regret and pride at the same time. “My whole life I'd never done anything to make Mom that happy, you know?”

Yeah, Jack knew. Genie had spent that whole day laughing, then crying, then laughing some more. Jack had spent the whole day throwing up.

With Pete continuing his grid-search sniffing around the huge yard, Will led Jack to the patch of concrete near the back where he'd set up a basketball net. As one, they set their beers off to the side and assumed their positions, with Jack on defense. Will started forward, deked left and shouldered past Jack to the basket.

Two points.

“When Maya said she wasn't in any hurry,” Will said, “I thought that could be my way out. If I rushed her into everything, maybe she'd panic and be the one to call it off.”

“And then you wouldn't be the one to look like such a dick.” Back at the top of the key, Jack sent the ball in a high arc and knocked in a three-point shot off the backboard. “How'd that work out for you?”

“Fuck you, man. It was stupid, I know, but once things got rolling, I didn't know how to stop it; and then suddenly we were married, she kept talking about having babies, and I freaked out. I'm sorry, okay? I am, but I wasn't near ready to have a kid. Shit, I'm with kids every day, and they're great, but one of my own? Wasn't even on the radar.” Will stood under the net and stared back at Jack with what actually did look like regret. That was a first. “If I could change what happened, I would, but I can't. And it turned out for the best anyway—you saw what a psycho she turned out to be.”

“So…what?” Jack asked as Will dribbled in. “You're going to marry the chick you screwed around with because…why? Because you don't have the balls to call this one off either? Is that the real reason you're pushing for such a fast wedding?”

For a second there, Jack thought Will was going to nail the ball at his face, and he probably deserved it, but instead, Will exhaled slowly and shook his head.

“It's not like that. We've been engaged for months, and I'm telling you, this is the real deal. Stella's amazing; you're going to love her, I promise.”

“Yeah, you also promised that hooking up with that chick the night of your bachelor party was a one-time thing.” With a quick leap, Jack knocked back Will's shot. “And then you promised to love Snip for the rest of your life, so you can see why I'd be skeptical about another promise now.”

Will bounced one off the rim and made a grab for the rebound, but Jack got there first, and for the next little while they went at the game harder, sharper, and faster, because, even though neither one said it out loud, they both knew that short of pummeling each other with their fists, this was the best way to get shit out.

Pretty soon Pete ran over, not really sure what he should be doing, but letting out sharp barks every time Will checked Jack. Just as Pete made to lunge at Will, something he'd never done before, Jack grabbed the ball and jerked it to the side.

“Down!” Pete dropped to his belly, but he never once took his eyes off Will, and neither did Jack. “You should've had the balls to call it off with Maya.”

“I know.” Will tugged the ball out of Jack's hands and sent it in a perfect arc at the net. “But if you'd had any balls, you would've told her about the chick at the bachelor party, and then she would've called it off right there and then.”

“No way; this isn't on me.” Only it was, sort of.

“Did you ever tell her?”

Jack lunged to his right and palmed the ball as it bounced back toward them. “No.”

“I didn't think so.” Will reached for his beer and took a long swig then wiped his hand across his mouth. “Have you even spoken to her since we ran into her after the split?”

“Not until last night.” Jack lifted his beer and grinned. “She was at the pub with the rest of your fan club.”

“You mean her fuckin' posse,” Will spat out. “The whole group's—”