How I Spent the Apocalypse (17 page)

“Let me see if you can understand this, Lucy. I’ll risk my life before I’d risk my sons’—or yours for that matter.”

“I know that, I just don’t understand why you think you’re expendable.”

“I don’t.”

“But you act like you do, Katy,” Lucy said.

Did I? I didn’t think that I did. It was just that I couldn’t stand to lose anyone else that I loved, and if I did something and got killed… Well then I wouldn’t have to worry about any of them anymore would I? My sons could do all the stupid shit they wanted after I was dead.

I spent most of the day giving weather reports. At least for a change I had some good news. It would be short-lived, and it would only be from eastern Oklahoma through Arkansas and parts of Louisiana, Tennessee and Mississippi, but it just might be enough time for people to get out and get some more supplies, reinforce their shelters, make things a little more secure, and get more wood. I was telling them to make sure things were safe and if they were then now was the time to check out their area and try to find more supplies and more water sources. I kept checking the satellite images and just kept updating the weather. Unfortunately for anyone from Illinois east, our “warm” front was pushing an even colder front on top of them.

By five o’clock that afternoon I was spent and my ribs were killing me. Lucy had been helping me all day, and I’d been teaching her how to use and read all the equipment. She seemed to be most in her element in the office. I even let her do one of the broadcasts, thinking people would be getting tired of listening to me by now.

I kept starting to get up or sit down myself, but I really couldn’t, and Lucy would run over and help me without being asked.

Seriously, I was really enjoying the attention.

The boys made dinner and then we all sat around and watched a movie. I sat in my chair, reared back, and found I was actually comfortable. At one point Lucy had left, gone to my bedroom and come back with the arnica oil. She rubbed it into my ribs while the boys made teasing noises.

I ignored them.

So did Lucy.

When the movie was over I just wanted to go to sleep, but was more than ready to wash the brains and blood out of my hair.

I wasn’t sure about taking my thermal underwear off, though, so I kept putting it off till I couldn’t stand it any longer. Then I steeled myself and put my legs down. It hurt a lot, but I got up, went to the bathroom, and started to get undressed. Outside the bathroom door Lucy asked, “Do you need help?”

Yes, yes I fucking did. Bending over was excruciating, but I didn’t want Lucy to see me naked.

“No I’ve got it thanks, could you bring me some pajamas?” Because of course I had forgotten those.

“Sure.”

I got in the shower and broke my own rule about the shower. It wasn’t a problem. The waterfall was running, which meant the cisterns were all full to running over with snow melt. Yeah, against the domes even in this cold the snow was melting and running into the cisterns, which was just one of the reasons I checked it for radioactivity.

I let the water run, the hot water feeling good on my battered body, because now I could see dozens of bruises all over my frame, not just the huge ones on my ribs and my ass. I washed Greg’s DNA out of my hair, glad that I kept it short because it meant it would dry fast. I finally turned the water off and got out then I just looked at the towel. I dreaded trying to dry myself.

“Do you need help?” Lucy asked again from outside the door.

Yes, of course I did, but in my mind my ever-so-slight chance of getting Lucy into the sack was never going to happen if she saw my fat, sagging, forty-five-year-old body naked in good light.

I must have been quiet too long. “Do you need help, hard head?”

Undressing had just about killed me. Drying myself off and putting on more clothes… I just didn’t want to even think about it.

“Jimmy or Billy could…”

“Fuck, Katy, you don’t have anything I don’t have.”

“Oh yes I fucking do. Cellulite and flab, and my boobs are on my knees.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous.” And then she just walked in.

I tried to grab the towel and cover myself, but moving too fast sent a pain through me that caused me to jerk my hand back, which wasn’t much better.

Lucy laughed, grabbed the towel, and just started drying me off. I was glad I didn’t have a dick because if I did I no doubt would have gotten a boner.

“Thanks,” I said, feeling my face was about as red as it could get without blood pouring from every pore.

“Maybe we should wrap those ribs?” she asked, helping me put my pajamas on.

“Maybe.” Truth is there have always been two schools of thought on wrapping cracked ribs. On the one hand, wrapping them might make them feel better. On the other hand, when you breathe your ribs move, and pushing against the wrappings could actually make them worse. “Not right now.”

“Hey, Mom, I made some hot chocolate. You want some?” Billy asked from outside the door.

“Yeah sure,” I said, thinking it would help me sleep. I sure as hell wasn’t taking another Lorcet if I could help it. I didn’t like being that out of it and had never understood why anyone would want to be.

“Me, too,” Lucy said. She looked at me and smiled. “You know… You actually have a pretty good body.”

I smiled back, embarrassed, but said, “I bet you say that to all the butch dykes you have to spend the apocalypse with.”

She left and I combed my hair. Even that hurt.

The minute I finished that hot chocolate I was done in, so I brushed my teeth and headed to bed. Lucy wasn’t far behind me, and I hardly remembered her coming in.

When I woke up at ten o’clock the next morning with Lucy still beside me I knew what the little fuckers had done. They had doped us. I shook Lucy awake.

“What, what!” she hollered.

“Help me up. Those little fuckers,” I said as an explanation.

I wasn’t wrong. The boys were gone, and I found a note on the kitchen table.

Mom,

I know you’re going to be pissed as hell, but we had to go. There may not be another chance. I loaded up with supplies—and here there was a list of all they had taken, and not too surprisingly he had taken everything I would have. We are armed and armored and we will be careful.

We have taken care of all the animals and with any luck we should be back in time to do the evening chores as well.

You were both sleeping so soundly we didn’t want to wake you up to fight with us.

Billy and Jimmy

But it was in Billy’s handwriting.

“Wake us up! A Mack truck could have run in here and we wouldn’t have even turned over. The little fuckers doped us,” I said to Lucy, who had walked in wearing a pair of Jimmy’s pajamas and rubbing her eyes, still sleepy.

“Maybe we were just tired,” Lucy said, shrugging and put some coffee on.

“Maybe trained monkeys will fly right out of my ass, too,” I said angrily. “Fucking stupid little bastards.” I was worried sick about them, which of course just made me want to kill them.

“How are your ribs?” she asked.

They were actually better. A lot better, which just made me sure that I was right and they had just been bruised or cracked, not actually broken. “Well I’m not going dancing any time soon, but they’re actually pretty good. The little fuckers! They saw what the Lorcet did to me yesterday and they put some in that damn hot chocolate. If they come back alive I’m going to beat them to death, those stupid fucks.”

“Actually that’s pretty smart. They really are your boys,” Lucy said with a laugh as she started to make breakfast.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

“That it sounds like something you would do if you had to get around you.”

I was sure that made sense on her planet.

She walked by me on her way to the refrigerator and I got a whiff of her. She smelled good, and I know she was wearing the same deodorant and using the same shampoo that me and the boys were because it was all we had, but it smelled different on her.

She looked at me as if she knew exactly what I was thinking, smiled, shook her head, and put the eggs and bread down on the counter.

“What?” I demanded.

“Nothing,” she said, and just started working on making breakfast. I mostly mumbled shit about how stupid my sons were the whole time she was cooking and we were eating. She just listened, so I think maybe she knew I just needed to blow off some steam.

“They’ll call if they get in trouble,” Lucy said.

“They are huge dumbasses and… I’m cold. Is it cold in here?”

“A little.”

“I bet the dumbasses didn’t feed the God-damned stove, stupid fuckers.” I got up with only a little twinge of pain, turned to Lucy and said, “My ribs are much, much better.”

“Maybe they did you a favor, drugging you. Maybe you needed a good, solid…” she was counting, “...fourteen hours of sleep.”

“Oh, I’m kicking their asses, Lucy. Just as soon as I get back to my full strength I’m going to kick their asses good. Don’t even try to talk me out of it. And if I have to go after the little fuckers with my ribs all buggered up… Well they just better hope I don’t have to go after their asses.”

Lucy followed me into the living room and to the stove. I started to bend over to take care of it but I didn’t feel THAT good yet.

“I’ll do it, Katy,” Lucy said. She opened the damper, stirred the coals, and threw in some wood. She let out a yelp.

“Damn,” she said and shut the door.

“What did you do?” I walked up to her and she held up her finger there was… Well more a timber sticking out of her finger than a splinter. I took her hand and pulled it out with my teeth.

“Thanks,” she said. She took her finger, which had a speck of blood on it, put it in her mouth and sucked on it. I swear I nearly came in my pants. She pulled the finger out, looked at it and said, “It’s alright.” And then she looked up at me.

Her face was right there, her lips. And she was looking at me
that way
; you know what I mean.
That way
. And suddenly I didn’t care how my ribs felt or if she was straight. I bent down and kissed her gently on the lips and when she kissed me back I wrapped my arms around her and I really kissed her and… Well she kissed me like I’d never been kissed in my life. Maybe I still had enough Lorcet in my system that the ribs didn’t hurt, and maybe I was just so fucking horny that over-rode even the pain, but in that moment I forgot all about my cracked ribs. I mean, come on, I couldn’t even masturbate because she was in my bed, and someone was always outside the fucking bathroom door.

Our lips parted for a second, both of us just catching our breath. Her chest was moving up and down and my own heart was pounding in my ears. If I had ever wanted anything or anyone more than I wanted her in that moment I don’t know who or what it was.

I just couldn’t get my hands on her quick enough, and the more I kissed her the more I wanted her. Before I was aware I’d done it I had her shoved against a wall and my hands were up her shirt. When my hands caressed the flesh of her breasts she shook, and my blood ran so hot I swear I could feel it pumping through my veins. I moved my mouth to her neck and just started nibbling and kissing her throat.