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Authors: M.C Queen

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BOOK: How I was Murdered by a Fox Monster
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Oh so you exterminate Obake,” I decided to
play along. I once got into an argument with the class nerd who
used to believe he was an alien and I didn't wish to repeat the
experience. “
That's
nice
.”


Yeah, pretty much. Hey do you want to see some pictures?” He
asked.


I suppose,” I shrugged.


Hey Taisei, I'm not sure if you should do that,” said
Itsuki.


Relax Itsuki. It's cool,” Taisei whipped out his phone and
began sliding his finger around the screen. He found what he was
looking for and handed me his phone.

I expected to
see them all dressed up in fake costumes, but the graphics were
exceedingly good and almost lifelike. It appeared to be a giant
raccoon, except it was the size of a person. Its teeth and claws
were sharp, long, and dripping what looked like blood.


Hey this is pretty good, that blood looks almost real,” I
said.


Of course its real. Man that guy got me good, I have this
whole scar now and everything,” Taisei pulled up his sleeve to show
me a bandage that extended from his wrist to the elbow. “But you
know that chicks always dig battle wounds,” he said while winking
at Kurumi, who in return scoffed and looked away.

No they couldn't be serious, it couldn't be
true
. I thought. I stared at the pictures,
and then at Taisei's arm, then back at the screen, and then at his
arm again. I repeated this for almost a minute, until the
realization finally hit me.


OBAKE ARE REAL!” I screamed.


Keep your voice down,” hissed Kiyori as he looked over his
shoulder and scanned the area for people.


I thought you knew already,” whispered Taisei.


No, I thought they were all stories.” I felt quite distressed
and Taisei had to pry his phone out of my fingers because I refused
to let go. “I didn't think they actually existed.”


Great one Taisei,” said Kurumi. “Just wait
until Akito hears about this.
 
You're going to get
grounded
,” she added in a sing-song
voice.


Does that mean there's really a raccoon monster, and a naked
fox lady who will eat your heart out?!” I asked.


Geez,” moaned Taisei. “I really thought you knew already.
Especially since Kousuke Matsumoto was a well-known
exorcist.”


GRANDPA WAS AN EXORCIST?!”


What! You seriously didn't know about Kousuke Matsumoto
either,” said Itsuki. “Idiot!”


I was only a little kid when he died!”


I suppose it's not your fault then,” said Taisei. “It's a
shame though, Kousuke Matsumoto was pretty famous. He wasn't as
famous as Daisuke Matsumoto, but he still had a good reputation
back in the day.”


DAISUKE MATSUMOTO WAS AN EXORCIST TOO!?”


Hey will you shut up already,” said Kiyori. “I'm pretty sure
the classroom above us could hear you. You're almost as loud as
Souta.”


No one told me that my brother Daisuke was an exorcist,” I
whispered.


He was the best there ever was,” said Kurumi. “We have to
read up on him all the time.”


Akito made me write a report last week as punishment for
missing my curfew, it really sucked,” said Kiyori.


What were you doing out that late?” asked Kurumi.


I had stuff to do, and then I missed the bus and had to walk
the rest of the way.”


Yeah that happened to me too, but there's another bus that
comes from the opposite side of the road, and it goes until about
elev-”


Hey!” I interrupted, trying to get them
back on track. “Do you think you could tell me more about Daisuke
Matsumoto?” I always wanted to know more about the guy I was named
after. Sis always got depressed if I asked, and sometimes cried. It
was like her
 
not so secret
 
weakness.


Daisuke Matsumoto was pretty famous fifteen or twenty years
ago,” said Taisei. “Some people believe he may have been the
strongest exorcist there ever was. There wasn't an Obake out there
that he couldn't beat. Cats, dogs, raccoons, rats, and pigs all
fell before him.”


But then he was trying to pick up a girl and it turned out to
be a fox Obake,” added Kiyori. “She plunged her hand into his chest
and ripped out his heart before he even had time to reach for a
protection charm.”

They all hung
their heads as though taking a moment of silence. “It's a hard
lesson for all male exorcists,” said Taisei.


That any hot chick could actually be a monster plotting to
rip your insides out,” added Kiyori.


It happened to my uncle too,” said Souta. “He even married
her without realizing. One day she got hungry and he refused to go
to the convenience store to buy her anything. She was still
munching on his leg when they were discovered the next
day.”


Ewww, Souta that so gross,” said Kurumi. Her face screwed up
in disgust. “I thought I told you to stop telling that story in
front of me.”

I stood there
with my mouth open in horror. It was like all my childhood fears
had suddenly become reality. I used to think that Souta was pretty
annoying, but given what was to occur months later, I now wish I'd
paid more attention to his horror stories.

Taisei must have seen the terror on my face because he
attempted to lighten the mood.
 
“On a happier note, all
exorcists in the area go to this school, so there's no need to
worry about man-eating Obake here.”

I knew he was
trying to console me, but I didn't feel better.


It's not like we had a choice though,” said Itsuki. “I don't
understand why we have to go to this dump.”

Kiyori
groaned. “Not this again.”


We already went through this Itsuki,” said Taisei. “This is
the only high school sponsored by the exorcist
organization.”


Yeah it's not so bad man. There's no need to moan about it
all the time. You should just relax more,” said Kiyori. “Take
advantage of the situation.”


Wait,” I interrupted. “This high school is sponsored by your
organization?”


Yeah it's pretty difficult for us to do well in school when
we have to stay up all night hunting Obake,” said Taisei. “It's
almost impossible for us to get our homework done in
time.”


And then there's exorcist studies,” said Kiyori.


And weapons maintenance,” said Kurumi.


So the organization donates money here to help us pass high
school,” said Taisei.

I thought
that sounded nice. I couldn't help thinking that it wouldn't be so
bad if someone paid the school money to give me good grades, but
then I realized what that would mean.


Wait! Isn't that bribery?!” I yelled


No of course not,” said Taisei. “But now that I stop and
think about it.”


Are you seriously saying that you don't have to do your
homework?” I asked.


But it's not like we don't want to, it's just not always
possible,” said Kiyori. “But Itsuki here is the family smart arse
so he always gets everything done.”


Great going Itsuki, you're making the rest of us look bad.”
said Kurumi. “Now Akito expects us to finish our
homework.”


I had to stay up until three!” said Souta.


Well, maybe if you didn't spend so much time doing your make
up in the morning, you'd even get to school on time Kurumi,”
muttered Itsuki.


What would you know Itsuki. Do you understand the importance
looks are to a girl, what would everyone think if I arrived at
school with no make up. It would be social suicide.”


But he does have a point Kurumi. You have spent a lot of our
funds on hair products,” said Kiyori


What's that supposed to mean?” she snapped.


Nothing, I'm only implying that we could buy other useful
things with the money you spend on hairspray.”


Like what Kiyori, hamburgers?”

I watched as
they slowly fell into an all out argument. Taisei attempted to
intervene, but his voice of reason couldn't be heard over Kurumi's
shrill insults. Itsuki stepped back, whipped out a set of
flashcards, and began memorizing them like nothing was happening.
Maybe he was used to this sort of situation.
The cogs in
my head began turning. So the exorcists didn't have to follow the
school rules. Did that mean that if I joined them, I could also
sleep until nine and not have to worry about handing my assignments
in?


Hey, hey!” I yelled while trying to get their attention. “Do
you think that maybe I could also become an exorcist?”

Part of me
already expected to be shot down. Like the time I tried to join the
cool group in elementary school. What I didn't expect was for them
to all stop arguing and begin simultaneously laughing.
I felt
confused. “I don't get it, what's so funny?” I asked.


You, an exorcist?” Laughed Itsuki.


Check this out,” said Kiyori. “It looks
like Daisuke Matsumoto, suddenly wants to be
like,
 
wait for it,
 
Daisuke Matsumoto.”


I'm sorry to disappoint you,” laughed Taisei. “But not just
anyone can become an exorcist, there are conditions.”


Really! Like what?” I asked sceptically. It couldn't be that
hard, the five of them didn't look that special.


Condition number one,” he held up one finger to emphasize his
point. “You have to actually be born into an exorcist family. Not
adopted into one.”


But-”

He cut me
off. “Condition number two, you need to possess the minimum
requirement of spiritual power. Just because your parents are
exorcists doesn't mean that you can be too. And condition number
three, you have to begin training from age five.”


There used to be another condition saying that only men could
join, but they've eased up on this recently,” added
Kurumi.


Five, isn't that a bit young?” I couldn't imagine Hikaru
having the attention span to begin training for
anything.


But it's necessary for the development of spiritual power,”
said Taisei. “You need to begin training while your body is still
pliable. If you wait a few more years it's already too
late.”


Which is why it's already too late for you, even if you meet
conditions one and two,” nodded Kiyori.


Yeah but,” I stuttered. “It might be impossible to become an
exorcist, but maybe I could do something else. Like carry your
weapons, or take better pictures with your cell phone?”

Taisei was quiet for a moment and began to mull it over.
“I
 
suppose you
could be our slave if you
 
really
 
wanted, but the guys back home
don't like to involve normal people in exorcist affairs. They like
to keep everything as secretive as possible. We would all get into
a lot of trouble if they ever found out.”

I felt
deflated. A wonderful opportunity to increase my fun at high school
suddenly appeared, and was then mercilessly ripped away from me. I
was in the middle of thinking up another way I could be useful to
the exorcists, when the bell rang. It was the end of lunch
time.


We should all get to class, you wouldn't want to be late,”
said Taisei. He made a shooing action with his hands and the others
turned and began to make their way back. “And one more thing,” he
grabbed me by the collar and shoved me against the fence. “No
matter what, don't tell a single soul about what happened here
today. If you breathe one word of this to anyone I will personally
make your next year of high school a living hell,” his eyes were
cold and serious, and I had no reason to doubt him.

 

Chapter
5

 

I discovered
there were seven exorcists at school. There was Itsuki and Mana,
who were both in my class. Kiyori (the big guy) and Souta (the
awkward one with curly hair) were both in second year. The blonde
girl Kurumi, and Taisei (who seemed like their leader) were both in
third. Nina was also in the third year. She wasn't at school the
day I met the other exorcists, but I saw her once in the hall. She
looked a lot like Sis, but I'll tell you more about that
later.
Everyone
seemed to find Souta annoying, but he was the only one who was
willing to tell me anything. Whenever I talked to the others they'd
freeze up and tell me to go away, but Souta let the secrets spill
like there was no tomorrow.


Obake are animal spirits which live in the natural world,” he
explained to me.


I knew that already,” I said while remembering the stories
Grandpa told me as a child. “What else?”


Hmm, Obake usually pretend to be different animals and then
transform back into monsters and eat humans. Lots of murders are
actually done by Obake instead of people. No one thinks that the
cute kitty they find on the street is going to eat them when their
back is turned.”

BOOK: How I was Murdered by a Fox Monster
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