How Mrs. Claus Saved Christmas

Table of Contents

 

 

ALSO BY JEFF GUINN

 

 

JEREMY P. TARCHER/PENGUIN
a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
New York

JEREMY P. TARCHER/PENGUIN

Published by the Penguin Group

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First trade paperback edition 2006

Copyright © 2005 by 24Words, LLC

Illustrations © 1995 by Mark Hoffer

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Guinn, Jeff.
How Mrs. Claus saved Christmas/as told to Jeff Guinn.
p. cm.

eISBN : 978-1-101-11892-4

 

 

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

 

 

 

The recipes contained in this book are to be followed exactly as written. The publisher is not responsible for your specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision. The publisher is not responsible for any adverse reactions to the recipes contained in this book.

 

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FOR SARA CARDER
Thanks

We had just settled into our seats that evening, each of us enjoying a thick wedge of Candy Cane Pie, a special recipe by a wonderful Norwegian pastry chef named Lars. He makes the most fabulous desserts you can imagine, and many more you can't.

WE NEVER STOP WORKING at the North Pole. Though children all over the world only expect to find presents from us on one of three mornings—December 6, December 25, or January 6—we need the rest of the year to design and build their toys. In fact, we work just as hard during the spring, summer, and fall as we do around those wonderful winter holidays of St. Nicholas Day, Christmas, and the Epiphany. Most people, I find, don't realize this. Over the years, I've seen thousands of cartoons about where Santa likes to take his vacations. These are often funny drawings of me on the beach sipping a drink through a straw, or at a baseball game enjoying a hot dog. And it's true I enjoy baseball and hot dogs, but I mostly do so in my den at the North Pole, watching the game on television and eating the hot dog from a tray on my lap. Beaches are less enticing. As someone who is well over seventeen hundred years old and, I admit, perhaps a few pounds overweight, wearing a bathing suit in public is not something I'm eager to do.

Besides, there simply isn't leisure time to spend at the beach. There are no magic North Pole buttons we can push to make toys instantly appear for every deserving girl and boy. I explained in a book I wrote about my life that there is a fair share of magic in what we do, but there's plenty of hard work, too. Everyone living here at the North Pole—and there are hundreds of us—is kept very busy from the time we gather for breakfast each morning, at eight o'clock sharp, until about six or so in the evening, when there's dinner and, afterward, well-deserved relaxation and fellowship until it's time to go to bed.

Designed by the great inventor Leonardo da Vinci, our North Pole home is a complex series of buildings and tunnels mostly underneath the snow, so that no one in planes flying overhead will notice us. The long, well-lighted workshops and assembly lines are separated from everyone's private living quarters by a large dining hall and several other rooms where comfortable chairs and sofas and widescreen televisions and well-stocked bookshelves make it pleasant for friends to gather and chat, read, or watch movies. No one is required to be anywhere doing anything. It's all very informal. Those who want quiet to enjoy their books can have complete peace in one place, while in another, dozens may be happily gathered to watch a hilarious film. Leonardo was careful to make each room soundproof, so that hearty laughter from one room does not disturb companionable silence in another.

Though everyone is free to choose what to do and whom to spend their evenings with, it often happens that one group is comprised of what we call “the old companions”—those of us who have been together longest in this eternal mission of helping everyone celebrate the joy and wonder of the holiday season. I'm never happier than when these very special people are gathered with me—Felix, the Roman slave who became my first companion; Attila, known through the ages as The Hun, and his wife, Dorothea; Arthur, the British war chief who, in legend, became celebrated as a king; St. Francis of Assisi, who wrote some of the first Christmas carols; Willie Skokan, the incomparable craftsman; Leonardo da Vinci and Benjamin Franklin, two great inventors and significant figures in world history; Sarah Kemble Knight, Felix's wife, who wrote the very first book about traveling in America; Teddy Roosevelt, the former president of the United States; Amelia Earhart, the wonderful aviator; and Bill Pickett, the great cowboy who could wrestle any steer to the ground in a matter of seconds. And, of course, there's the person I love and admire most of all, my wife, Layla, whose common sense and courage have inspired us during many challenging times.