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Authors: Justine Larbalestier

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BOOK: How to Ditch Your Fairy
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CHAPTER 41
Friends again

Demerits: 10

Game suspensions: 3

Public service hours: 35

bobsleds dragged up the ice: 1

bobsleds ridden down the ice: 2

Near deaths: 1

Visits to the principal: 1

T
he first thing I heard in Fencing was that Water Polo A had lost its first game in three years that morning.

Fiorenze and I stared at each other. Danders Anders had offered her
lots
of money when he’d grabbed her. But on Wednesday he hadn’t had any. He’d even asked if he could borrow some for gas.

Wow. I hadn’t quite believed what the principal had told me.

Now I did. Fiorenze and me, we didn’t speak to each other; instead we warmed up as diligently as we could. I’d promised the principal I wouldn’t rack up any more demerits. I imagined Fiorenze had made the same promise. I was desperate to be good; the basketbal tryouts were just around the corner.

My first bout was against Steffi. He smiled and a tingle shot through me. But the smile didn’t stay very long, and he didn’t kiss me, or even slip his arm around me. I wondered where we stood now that my fairy was gone.

We plugged in and stepped onto the piste and were about to salute and put our masks on when Steffi said, “We have to talk.”

“Oh,” I said. According to Sandra people always say that before they tel you things you do not want to hear. In my experience—

especialy with my parents—she is entirely correct.

“Can’t it wait til after the bout?” I asked, looking around nervous ly for Coach, even though I was pretty sure Steffi’s fairy was protecting us.

“Why did you swap fairies with Fiorenze?” he asked. I wished he had the mask on, because the expression on his face was not tingly at al.

“Why?” I said, wishing I knew what the right thing to say was.

“Because it was the easiest way to get rid of my parking fairy. It was driving me insane. Danders Anders kidnapped me! I didn’t realize how horrible Fio’s fairy would be. I stupidly thought nothing could be worse than a parking fairy. I was wrong.”

“But why didn’t you swap with someone else?”

“Fio was the only one who knew how. I mean her mother was.

Or, rather, the book. Whatever. It was just me and Fio. There wasn’t anyone else.”

“Hmm,” Steffi said. I wished I knew what he was thinking. Was there a fairy for that?

“Swapping was the easiest way, Steffi. Much easier than nearly dying.” My head stil hurt. “And the bleaching thing looked just as dangerous. And to be honest I didn’t realy understand the flensing and grunching options.”

“Huh?”

“Why are you asking, Steffi? I thought you didn’t believe in fairies?”

“I didn’t,” he said. “I mean, I was agnostic.”

“But you do now?”

He nodded very slowly. “Maybe. It’s hard to explain swapping luck and scaring luck away. But tiny invisible luck-giving creatures?

Wel, it’s stil a stretch, you know?”

Not for me it wasn’t. “You should come to Fio’s house. Her mom has a mirror where you can see your fairy’s aura. Maybe that wil help you.”

“Maybe. You didn’t swap with Fio to get me to like you, did you?”

“No way!” I lied stoutly. Wel, it wasn’t entirely a lie. But him liking me wasn’t my entire motivation. When Fio said swap, that’s what I’d thought about finaly knowing for sure that Steffi realy liked me. No uncertainty. “Who told you that?”

“Heather Sandol.”

“You can’t believe anything she says. She
hates
the boy fairy because it works on her boyfriend realy strongly. You wouldn’t believe how much she hated Fiorenze, and then when I got Fio’s fairy her hatred went to me.”

“So your swapping with Fio had nothing to do with me?” He pressed the tip of his foil into the piste, leaning into it so the thin blade bowed out in a half circle. If he leaned on it any harder it might snap.

“Fairy’s honor,” I said, even though that wasn’t true. “You wouldn’t believe how happy I am to be rid of that thing! It was worse than the parking fairy.” Which was true. The fairy had made Steffi act as though he liked me, but that’s al it was. Not one of his fairy-inspired kisses had been as good as when he’d kissed me in front of my house. That kiss had entirely come from him. No fairy involvement at al. (Wel, except to keep us out of trouble.)

“A fairy like that shouldn’t be alowed to exist,” Steffi said, leaning harder on the foil.

“No,” I said. The world would be much better off without it. “So you believe in the boy fairy now?”

“Whatever it was, I believe in it.” He took a little of his weight off the foil and wiped his forehead. “I realy kissed Fio, didn’t I? A bunch of times. Even when she didn’t want me to.”

I could have done without hearing him say that.

“She’s not my type. I’m not her type. It was horrible.”

“Realy?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Completely horrible.” He nodded emphaticaly. “Also I got into a fight with Heather Sandol and, wel, she got a game suspension, but the teacher apologized to me for the disturbance, when I fought just as hard as Heather.”

“Huh.”

“Something keeps me out of trouble. It always has.” He unbent the foil completely.

“Yes.”

“I don’t remember
ever
getting into trouble. But if I convince my

‘fairy’ that I’m about to die I’l get rid of it?” he asked.

“Or you could bleach or grunch your way out of it. But why would you want to, Steffi?”

“It’s not right my having that kind of luck. Think of the things I could do with it,” he said, stabbing his foil back into the piste.

“But you never do any of those things. Not on purpose.” I thought about his set of lock picks. “Wel, except for helping us with the luge thing. You just decided fairies were nonsense.”

“You think I was a denier because I was scared of my own good fortune?” he asked, looking at me so intently I thought I would melt.

“Could be. Look, Tamsin says most people get their fairy for a reason. She also says that fairies don’t die. If you flense or grunch a fairy away, someone else winds up with it. What if your fairy goes to someone who’l use it to do bad stuff?”

“Oh,” he said. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“In what way do you two think standing on the piste gossiping wil contribute to your foil skils?” Coach Van Dyck demanded.

“Sorry, Coach,” I said.

“My fault,” Steffi said.

We saluted each other and put our masks on. This bout I won.

CHAPTER 42
Monkey Knife Fight

Demerits: 10

Game suspensions: 3

Public service hours: 35

bobsleds dragged up the ice: 1

bobsleds ridden down the ice: 2

Near deaths: 1

Visits to the principal: 1

I
decided to skip public service that night and see Monkey Knife Fight like Nettles wanted. I went straight home on the bus with Steffi. We teased each other the whole way— he caled me an Avaloid, I caled him a Raven Head, and he was pleased that I’d remembered he came from Ravenna— and I thought about asking him what I should do about testifying against Danders Anders. But I’d promised the principal I wouldn’t talk to anyone about it.

It felt good to be friends again. He might not like me in a let’s-get-linked way, but at least he stil wanted to hang out.

“You realy love the school, don’t you?” Steffi asked.

“Of course. It’s the best school in the world.”

He was staring at me kind of funny. Then he shook his head. “I thought you were al brainwashed.”

My turn to stare at him. “Brainwashed!”

“But you’re not. None of you are. You realy do love it. The long hours. Al the work—”

“I’m doing what I’ve always wanted, poxbrain. Sports! Almost every minute of every day! What’s not to love?” I puled out my lucky cricket bal and spun it high. “Other than Accounting and PR

and—”

“It’s not what I’m used to, that’s al.”

“Nothing but slacker schools on the West Coast, eh?”

“Something like that.”

“I’d like to visit Ravenna. A proper visit, not just for an away game.”

Steffi smiled.

“You were right,” I said.

“About what in particular?” he asked.

“My head hurts.”

“Wel, you had a mild concussion,” Steffi pointed out. “Though it didn’t stop you taking that bout from me today.” He didn’t lean forward to rub my temples or anything. When I had the fairy he would’ve done that. Not that I wanted it back. Friendship with

Steffi was way better than his zombie love.

“It’s only a mild concussion. And my head doesn’t hurt from that.” I searched for the words. These were new thoughts for me.

“I’ve been thinking about some of the things you said. About us Avaloids and our blindness. We are a little bit—”

“Very. You are very self- obsessed. ‘Self- obsessed’ is too mild a word for how you people are.”

I nodded, though it felt somewhat injured to be agreeing. “And the almost Ours at school like Danders get away with too much,” I said, realizing that I was going to testify against him. “That isn’t right.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Wanna hang out Sunday?” I asked. “We can scrimmage.”

“Sure,” Steffi said. “Sounds like fun. I can help you practice for the tryouts.”

Even if he wasn’t ever going to be my boyfriend I was pretty sure Steffi would support me while I did the whole scary courthouse thing. Rochele and Fiorenze would too. Probably Sandra. And definitely my parents. I hoped the principal would too. I didn’t think she was lying.

Maybe they’d even manage to protect me from the Water Polo Association.

As soon as I got home I went straight up to Nettles’s room. She was lying on her bed wearing the Monkey Knife Fight T-shirt, with her headphones on. I knocked on the door. She didn’t stir. I signaled for her to take them off. She didn’t.

I stood at the foot of her bed, spinning my lucky cricket bal back and forth from hand to hand. She hates that.

“What?” she asked at last.

“I skipped public service,” I announced.

“What?” she asked louder.

“Turn the music down!”

She did, but kept the headphones on.

“I skipped public service. I’m coming to your concert.”

“Realy?” she asked.

“Realy,” I said.

“You’re going to come see Monkey Knife Fight?”

“Yes.”

“Wil you put proper clothes on?” she asked, taking off her headphones. “Not your uniform, or training sweats, but actual proper clothes? Wil you leave your cricket bal at home?”

“Yes,” I said, catching the bal with my left hand and holding it behind my back. “I’l wear Whatever you want me to wear.”

“Realy?” Nettles’s eyes lit up.

I realized I might have been rash. “Unless it’s shiny, or purple, or has a unicorn on it, or is in some other way injured.”

“As if.” Nettles jumped up and walked into my room, throwing open the wardrobe doors. I folowed at the pace of someone with mild concussion.

“You’re wearing this,” she announced when I caught up with her.

She was holding up the emerald green dress that Rochele had bought for me at the fashion fair. It would be my first chance to wear it.

“With these,” she said. She pointed out the black knee-high boots Rochele had bulied me into buying last winter. I’d only worn them once.

“Okay,” I said. As I looked up from the boots a flash went off. I blinked.”Nettles—”

“And you have to not complain about how many photos I take,”

she said, taking several more. “And let me do your hair.”

“Sure,” I said. “Whatever you want. Take photos! Steal my soul!

Make me leave my lucky cricket bal at home! And, yes, you can do my hair.” I said the last bit like it was a concession, but I was pleased. Nettles is gifted with hair.

“So how come you can make it tonight?” Nettles asked.

“I can’t. Didn’t you listen? I’m skipping public service to be there. I’m doing it for you.”

“Wel, don’t expect me to kiss you or anything.”

“Erk.”

“What’s that I hear?” Mom said, sticking her head into my bedroom. “You’re coming tonight? Lovely! Now I can take the car!”

“I don’t have a parking fairy anymore, Mom. I got rid of it.”

“Yes, dear.” Clearly she didn’t believe me.

“Realy, Mom. It’s gone.”

“But you got in the car with that sweet boy Andrew Rogers.”

“Mom, he’s not—”

“Just because he’s a bit slow does not mean he’s not sweet. He buried Nettles’s dog for her.”

“Mom,” Nettles interjected. “That’s because he accidentaly—”

“Now hush, Nettles. Neither of you look even close to being ready. I want you both in the car in half an hour.”

“Mom, we can’t take the car. My parking fairy is truly gone.”

“Darling, I know you want it to be gone. But everyone knows that the only effective way of getting rid of a fairy is to not do the things it wants you to do, and you’ve been providing it with parking spots.”

“Mom, there are other ways.”

“Half an hour,” she said. “Charlie, I know you were in some trouble today. I could be asking you al about it. But I’m not. Now can you and your sister please get ready?”

“Yes, Mom,” we chorused.

Mom circled the New Avalon Stadium six times looking for a parking spot.

I didn’t say a word.

“Why don’t you just pay for the valet parking, love,” Dad said.

“It’s fifty dolars! That’s an outrage. I’ve never paid for valet parking.”

“I told you,” Dad said. “This fairy business is nonsense.

Charlie does not have a parking fairy now, because she’s never had a parking fairy.”

Nettles roled her eyes. “Mom! We’re going to be late. Please can you valet park? Please! I’ve been looking forward to this concert since the beginning of time!”

Or two weeks. I guess when you’re twelve that seems like forever. Actualy even at fourteen a couple of weeks can seem vastly long. Like the last two for instance.

“Fine,” Mom said between gritted teeth, puling up beside the parking valet. She glanced at me in the rearview mirror and Nettles took a photo. Mom ignored her. “No parking fairy, eh?”

“No.”

“This, I want to hear about.”

We didn’t see Danders Anders at the concert that night. Not that I missed him—I imagined I was going to see a lot of him when I testified against him—but I think he would have enjoyed it. Monkey Knife Fight were in fabulous form. They would have destroyed my butterflies within seconds.

BOOK: How to Ditch Your Fairy
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