HowMuchYouWantToBet (14 page)

“Spill.”

“Aren’t you the anxious one, Janice.” Barb glared at her friend, and Neil told them everything, leaving out only the details about her mother and a few other things time had yet to heal. She allowed herself to laugh when Anna called Nathanial a rat bastard, when Neil was done.

“So.” Barb broke the silence. “You’re a freaking genius.”

“A fraud.” And wasn’t that the crux of the problem? No matter how many times Neil told someone, she’d still be a fraud. She’d still have the last promise she made to her father. A rock and a hard place were nothing compared to her situation.

“Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Doesn’t change the talent you have.” Linda finished off her beer, then continued. “Doesn’t change that you won’t let yourself paint, blow glass, whatever you love to do, because of some crazy promise.”

Neil shrugged the comment off, despite it hitting the sore spot she still held. “I wanted to tell you guys. I knew you wouldn’t rat me out.”
I knew you’d understand,
she almost added. She glanced at their faces again and met Anna’s gaze. “Be scared. I’m starting to consider you guys my friends.”

Anna blew out a breath. “Enough of this depressing stuff. Give us the goods on Gib.”

“Anything but a fish,” she started.

“Here, here,” Janice said, and Neil’s shoulders relaxed again. This time the weight wasn’t as heavy.

*****

Neil thought about ignoring the knock at her door. The beer and whiskey had soaked her brain into a nice haze of nothingness. She stretched as a smile broke across her face, thinking of the gang.

They had pulled too many details from her and made her giggle. Giggle, for goodness’ sake. She had friends, real ones, with secrets, gossip, and—most importantly—grief to share. She giggled again when she thought of how easily Anna’s husband had piled them into the car. He’d exchanged a little P.D.A. to get Anna to shut up. Neil knew one person who was getting lucky tonight.

Another knock, this one louder and more impatient. Neil stood, a little surprised she didn’t weave, and sighed heavily as she managed to open the door.

“Look what we have here, a very wet Gibland Winnfred the Third.”

His curls were dark and damp from the rain. He’d forgone the business jacket, but the crisp white shirt clung to his shoulders. The liquor couldn’t be blamed for the rush of heat to her face. No wonder she had avoided him like the plague when she first moved here. Her lips pulled into a bigger smile. Any right-minded woman would have carnal thoughts of a face and body like his. The smile died on her lips when she noticed the strain around his eyes and remembered he’d gone into full business mode just this morning. “How’d it go?”

“No one tried to kill me. I’ll call it a successful first day.” He pulled her to him as he closed the door behind him. “I have some other things in the works. I’ll tell you about it soon.” He sighed and leaned into her. “What did you do today?”

His scent filled her senses and she fought back the need rising in her. How easily he turned her on, like a switch. A light touch, a look, a few softly spoken words penetrated her vulnerability every time, when they were from him. Gib had gotten in and seemed to be staying.

“Got tipsy with the gang.” He frowned. “Linda, Barb, Janice, and Anna,” she explained, stepping back from his embrace and noticing the change in his eyes. She still felt exposed and open from telling him about her father, while everything she knew about him seemed to be instinctive. “Do you want something to drink?”

He said yes and didn’t mention the chasm she’d just put between herself and him. As he followed her into the kitchen, Neil tried to relax.

“This feels awkward,” Gib said slowly. “I would have expected this kind of reaction right after we had sex.”

She filled the glass, not able to look at him. She’d gotten used to hiding and now she didn’t have to. This step in their relationship was something she hadn’t counted on, being closer than she’d been to anyone in years. She felt awkward, somehow.

“It’s nothing. I’ve had too much to drink.” Gib turned her to him and she pushed the cup at him. “I guess I need some sleep, so I’ll see you tomorrow at the site.”

“Is this about what you told me?”

No. Yes. No. Dammit.
The lie settled on her lips and tasted sour. Neil had opened Pandora’s box and what had she expected? For him to ignore how important it was for her to let the secret go after keeping it inside after so many years? Yes, and by now she should know better. Gib’s stubbornness rivaled her own, and that was saying something. She met his eyes. He was sticking. No matter what she threw at Gib, he’d be there. Why was that knowledge more scary than comforting?

“I’m not sure,” she replied, trying for honesty.

Gib took the cup from her hands and placed it on the counter. He pinned her with a gaze. “Not sure about what?” He wasn’t giving her any room to maneuver.

Neil kept her hands at her sides, wanting to touch him. To be honest, wanting to reach out to the comfort he offered, when that was what had gotten her into this situation in the first place. She’d kept the walls around her heart up for so long, and then this one man had climbed over them, and here he stood pushing at what she wanted to keep dead.

How could she continue to say no to something she needed, when she was realizing that this feeling, the need to reach and be accepted, was more than that? Gib, all he stood for, what he offered, was what she craved. He’d be the first thing she could let herself have. Love was just the symptom of what he opened up inside her.

She finally answered him. “This. Us. What is it?”
So I can prepare myself for when things go wrong, because they always do,
Neil thought.
Right?

“It’s as simple as this.” He lowered his mouth to hers and the heat of the kiss rushed through her veins like a drug. That constant greedy ache grew in her stomach, making it flutter with the thought of him being inside her again. Would kissing him always feel like this? God, she hoped so, and let herself fall into it, falling deeper in love with him. Neil let herself stop fighting emotion.

The fear, the excitement, the headiness of it all made her shiver. The counter bit into her back as he pressed against her. She’d heard about pain and pleasure, but had never experienced it before.

Definitely not overrated.
His teeth sank into her bottom lip, tying her insides into knots. The words, three simple words, ached to fall from her lips.

I love you.
How simple, and how much it would complicate things between them, so much so that Neil felt relief when Gib lifted his head and said, “I’ve missed you.”

Three simple words that put things into perspective. Neil blinked and brought herself back into reality. “Me, too.” She splayed her hands on his chest. His heartbeat raced under her trembling fingers.

“Nice tie.” She began to unbutton his shirt, knowing and believing good things never lasted but, by God, she’d have him while she still could.

“Nice suit.” She said it softly and watched as his amber irises darkened. Neil ignored the new ache that had nothing to do with lust. “You know, I’ve always had a thing for men in suits.”

“Really.” His voice was husky.

She pressed her face against the warmth of his chest and took in the smell of expensive cologne, his flesh, him.
It shouldn’t hurt to do this,
Neil told herself. It shouldn’t hurt to be this close to him and know she could never have him.
I’ve missed you.
His words rang in her head, and Neil knew it could. It could hurt a lot.

He took her face in his hands. “What’s wrong?”

Oh, but it could. “Make love to me.”

Gib kissed her this time and the urgency was gone, replaced with something she didn’t want to recognize, something Neil thought she only hoped she felt in this kiss. He cupped her breast in his hands, and she moaned against his mouth, needing this momentary comfort. She squeezed her eyes closed, forcing back the tears.

Gib suckled her earlobe and then he asked, “Tell me what’s wrong?”

She slid his shirt down his torso. “Just make love to me.”

He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeper, longer, until she did forget the new ache. If he could think beyond the desire, Gib might be able to know how to fix whatever was wrong, because something was. The sudden change in her demeanor told him there was. It could have been the vulnerability he never knew Neil could possess.

She always seemed so strong and sure about everything she did, but this side of Neil made him want to protect her. He could have said just that, but Gib had never been good with words, and instead he tried to ease her restlessness with actions.

She went pliant as he let his hands explore her again, to touch and tease the parts of Neil as he knew she loved for him to do. The nuances of her body became second nature as he closed his hand over her, felt her tighten around his fingers.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” he whispered against her ear again.

She tensed against him. “You’re not inside me.”

Gib hardened at her words. The need in them almost undid him. He pulled down her paint-splattered jeans and lowered her onto him, bracing one hand on her hip, the other on the kitchen counter. She wrapped around him like a warm, wet glove.

“Tell me,” he said through gritted teeth, trying not to lose himself in her.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. He was in her, but she still wouldn’t let him in, and the realization frustrated and aroused him. He rose into her slowly, then again, and again, until her fingers were fisted into his hair. “Tell me.”

“Just give me this,” she moaned.

He rose into her, deeper, until he wasn’t sure where he began and she ended. Gib cradled her against him, making love to her as she had asked.

He buried himself deep inside her, and when she asked for more he gave it, until there was nothing left of himself to give.

But he wanted, needed to give her more. He wanted to give her the things she refused to ask for, and he would. He would soon.

CHAPTER 14

Neil ignored the light pelts of rain hitting her hard hat. They were past the part of construction where it would actually matter if it rained or not. A month had passed since she and Gib had gone to San Francisco. Since that delay in building his guest house, things had moved along pretty fast. That part of the project was done and the foundation of the main house itself had been completed rapidly. The skeleton of framing on the foundation had started to resemble a real home over a week ago, and now the roof and wiring were done.

Neil grinned at the structure. She hated to toot her own horn, but, damn, she was a good worksite manager-in-training. This job would be hers for good, once she finished. She could forget painting and blowing glass for a living. Those things were remnants of her old life—gone, dead, buried, and forgotten.

“Thinking of me?” Gib whispered in her ear.

She pressed a hand over her unsteady heart, then chuckled when he pulled her close for a kiss. “I was thinking of paneling, which has the same effect.”

Neil cursed when she noticed his wet hair. “You’d think, after all the lectures I’ve given you about worksite safety, you’d have a hard hat glued to your head.”

Bending down to the work chest, she pulled out an extra hard hat and handed it to him. “Thanks. How’s it going?”

“My guess is, if everything stays on schedule, we should be done before August.”

Gib whistled softly. “Linny give you a raise yet?”

She smiled. This was the quickest time anything of this magnitude had been built by Linny’s company and, unlike their competitors, they hadn’t cut any corners.

“I’ll remind him when the time comes. Let me show you what we’ve done so far.”

During the tour, his focus seemed to be elsewhere. He made the usual noises, asked questions, and when he seemed satisfied with what he saw, Gib turned to her, his face filled with excitement.

“What is it that has you so jazzed?” Neil asked, using Victoria’s term.

“I want to show you something in the guest house.”

She frowned and listened to the steady beat of hammers and saws. “Just because I’m sleeping with the man whose house I’m building, it doesn’t mean I can take breaks when I want to.”

Gib’s jaw hardened at the words. “Then come by when you have your lunch break.”

His tone threw her. “My words weren’t meant to censure you, or as a jibe, but as a fact that even though our relationship has changed I still have a responsibility.”

Why is he so tense?
She reached out to him. “I guess I’m excited about what I want to show you. It can wait.”

He shrugged. Again she looked around. Less than a handful of men were working today. The wiring was being tested and, within the week, they would be doing the final details of the house. Soon her job would be done. She’d no longer have an excuse to be with Gib. The next job would eat up her time. It was the life she had made for herself. She hadn’t known Gib would come and make her want a different life.

She looked at him, strong, solid and there for her. “I can go now. Let me get Jason and tell him where I’ll be.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No, sometimes I have to beat my stubborn pride into a corner and relax.” Gib chuckled. “You said it.”

They walked to the guest house over a changed landscape. The grass that had once been waist high was now cut low. It still smelled of the dewy scent of rain and seaweed. The guest house was large enough to be considered a home in itself.

Covering at least an acre of land, it stood picturesque against the muddy gray sky. The cobblestone walkway leading up to the door didn’t make for easy walking for her work boots, but she was used to it. The gazebo resembled his parents’ home, with the wisteria cloaking it in its beautiful embrace. Though brand new, the house and the grounds looked lived in, looked like a home.

Neil ignored the ache that it was his to come home to, not theirs. When had those feelings taken root? At what point had she wanted more from him? More from herself? The changes within her had come at breakneck speed. They couldn’t be stopped, and Neil wasn’t sure if she wanted to stop them.