H.T. Night's 8-Book Vampire Box Set (43 page)

I had survived two of the toughest vampires
of all time, and probably the toughest werewolf, Tommy. I could
handle a high-class dinner party and crook my pinky whilst I sipped
tea with lemon and sugar and said “cheerio,” once in a while.
Hopefully, the toughest thing at the dinner party would be trying
to follow the men’s conversations about cricket matches and the
ladies’ conversations about those big stupid hats they had to wear
to the horse races. Yeah, it was a law, I had read somewhere.

I went over to the phone to make an
international call. I got connected to Lena’s cell. Technology is
freaking amazing!

“Hello,” Lena said.

“Lena, it’s Josiah! Pip, pip, cheerio!”

She laughed at my corny joke. “I know who it
is, no one else calls me.”

“Well, I am in Britain.”

“So, you should be boarding the plane to
Romania anytime soon, right?”

“Well, there has been a little change in
plans.”

“What kind of change?” She seemed
concerned.

“Before I get into all of that, I want to
tell you how wonderful it is to hear your voice.”

“It’s nice to hear yours, too. I miss you
terribly, Josiah. It’s only been a few hours, but it feels like an
eternity.”

“I know what you mean.”

Lena paused. “Okay, now tell me about the
change of plans.”

I hesitated and said, “The connecting flight
came into London and I decided to stay over for a night.”

“Why?”

“Well, I got invited to some kind of royal
party.”

“What are you talking about? By who?”

“Some duchess or something. She seems down
to earth though.” She wanted to spoon me.

“Hold up!” I could tell Lena was extremely
confused. “A royal princess invited you to some ball. Where?
Westminster Abbey?”

“I actually don’t know where it’s taking
place.”

“Who invited you?”

“Her name is Helen.”

“Helen?” Lena asked. “Helen, the Duchess of
Windsor?”

“Yeah, that’s her.”

“The duchess that is dating Mario
Moses?”

“Well, they aren’t dating anymore,” I said.
I couldn’t believe what I was even saying. “So, you have heard of
her?”

“She was only on the cover of every tabloid
magazine last year.”

“Really?”

“Do you live under a rock, Josiah?”

I laughed. “I’ve been a tad busy. And
mostly, human, Carni, or Mani, I just mind my own business because
if I don’t it usually means I will get my ass beating of the week
before I have to change into a big white bird and make my nose into
a freaking spear of death.”

Lena laughed wryly and somehow, I knew she
had rolled her eyes. “Even still. There are some things you can’t
avoid.”

“Look, we met on the airplane and she
invited me to this party where I have a chance to meet Paul
McCartney.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No. So bear with me. Shall I say his name
again for you?”

“So, let me get this straight, Josiah. I saw
you not even fifteen hours ago, and in that time, you’ve met Helen,
the Duchess of Windsor and she invited you to a party that will
have ‘Paul ‘freaking’ McCartney’ at it?”

“Yes,” I said.

“So, you just charmed her so well that she
invited you to some royal bash?”

“I guess you can say that, though we both
slept a lot on the flight. It was actually like she charmed me, not
the other way around. I was all set to run to the Tower of London
tour, just to see it once, and then hop back on the itinerary for
Romania but she invited me tonight. Very prim and proper.”

“What are you even going to wear?” Lena
said. Oh yeah, she went there.

“She had me call the equivalent of
Suits-to-Go and a guy is going to bring me some clothes. I guess
that’s the way they do things here. You have to dress for dinner.
It’s like a law or something.”

“I’ve never even seen you in a necktie,”
Lena said thoughtfully.

There was a long pause on the other end and
I heard a crackle that was either the transatlantic phone line or
Lena was crinkling a potato chip bag.

“Is she interested in you?” Lena sounded a
little bit worried.

“No, it’s nothing like that. She just needed
someone to escort her. Look, I’m not even sure how much I can trust
her. One thing you know for sure is that you can trust me. After
all we have been through, I promise you that.”

“I know, I trust you. It’s just the weirdest
thing you could have possibly told me, that’s all. Just be sure to
bring me an autograph by Paul McCartney.”

“Done,” I said. “Plus, I told her about
you.”

“You did? You told her about me?” Lena voice
sounded giddy. I wasn’t sure if she liked the fact I told another
woman about her, or that someone famous knew who she was. “What did
you say?”

“I told her that I cared about you. That you
were my...” I hesitated.

“I was what?” Lena asked.

“My girlfriend,” I said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, so you have nothing to worry
about.”

Lena was quiet. I could almost hear her
smiling. “I miss you so much, Josiah.”

“I miss you, too.”

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

“I really don’t know, maybe a week or so.
Well, I’d better get ready. I’ll call you in the morning.”

“That will be nighttime here. It’s morning
right now.”

“I totally forgot. Bye, Lena.”

“Bye, Josiah.”

I hung up and headed straight for the
shower. Talking to Lena rejuvenated me. I stripped down and got in
the shower. I don’t know why but showering always seemed to be
better than sex ever since becoming a Mani. I stood there for a
good twenty minutes! About how long it takes me to, well… nuff
said. It was a pretty good shower.

I got out of the shower and stepped into the
main room of the suite. There was a tuxedo on my bed. I guess they
had brought it in while I was in the shower, lathering up.

I hoped it fit. I put the bad-boy on, and I
had to admit, I looked freaking good. I’ve never worn one of these
penguin suits before, and damn! I was sexy as hell! Total
red-carpet ready!

I finished getting ready with a razor and
some shaving cream the hotel had provided and the phone rang. I
answered it.

“Your limousine is here, sir,” the voice on
the line said.

“Where is it?” I asked.

“It’s in the parking garage, sir. The
Duchess is waiting.”

“Then I better mosey on down there,” I said,
in a bad Southern accent. American, that is.

I hung up the phone and put on my dress
shoes. Darn they hurt! A size too small! I was 13 and these were
obviously 12’s, maybe even 11’s. This wouldn’t do! I took them off
and put on my Doc Marten boots that I wore on the trip over. These
boots were made for ass-kicking and I just might have to do some of
that tonight.

Chapter Five

The elevator door opened and I was in the
parking garage. The black stretch limo awaited me. The chauffeur
got out of the front seat and opened the side door. Helen jumped
out to greet me. She gave me a freaking air kiss just inches from
each just-shaved cheek. What was that about? So she didn’t mess up
her lipstick? Her perfume swirled around me like a tender trap and
I have to say that… Holy shit! She looked incredible!

Helen was wearing a light blue gown that fit
her like a second skin and I couldn’t detect that she was wearing a
bra or underwear. She just looked like she was sewn into the dress.
And the dress itself seemed to have diamonds sewn into it. No, not
rhinestones, and not Swarovski crystals like they used on freaking
Project Runway – Lena adored this silly TV show. Helen wore a
spectacular bracelet that probably cost more than my house and it
bore the family crest, I assumed, lions and a wicked cool unicorn.
Her earrings were long and very diamondy. She looked like a million
bucks! From the looks of it, her outfit was worth at least that
much. Geez, what if she got a dab of ketchup on herself? What
then?

“You clean up nice,” she said.

I was still blown away at how fantastic she
looked. “And you, well, you clean up like royalty.”

“Oh, this old thing,” she said mockingly.
She smiled and her eyes sparkled along with her jewelry and
sparkly, sparkly dress, as if we could just shoot her into the sky
and have her light it up.

“You look fantastic, you’re
mesmerizing.”

“Mesmerizing! Wow! I’m glad I took the extra
time to do my hair.”

“Your hair looks great. It’s whole…
package.” Damn. I was having a hard time talking.

“You’re sweet, Josiah, even when the cat has
got your tongue.” She paused, then leaned in and kissed my cheek
for real. When we touched, I thought I might see a vision like I
had with the bellhop. I got nothing, just the lovely smell of a
thousand-dollar perfume.

“Let’s make our way to the party,” she said,
smiling as she saw me smelling her. “We’d better hurry or I might
turn into a pumpkin.”

Helen stepped back into the limo and I
followed. She sat with her back to the chauffeur, while I sat
across from her. I got a flash of Princess Diana in her last
moments of life and wished again for a seat belt. I choked down the
thought.

“You ready for this night of your life?”
Helen asked.

“I’m as ready as a guy like me can get. I
suppose you’ll keep me by your side all night as your escort.”

She smiled and patted my hand. “Within
inches.”

We headed out of the parking garage and
Helen opened the sun roof. The stars looked amazing.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the West End,” Helen answered.

“I looked at the digital clock on the TV set
in the limousine, it read 9:04.

“May I?” I asked, implying I wanted to stick
my head out of the sun roof.

“By all means, help yourself.”

I stuck my head out of the sun roof and
looked at downtown London. I had never done anything like this
before and it felt exhilarating. It’s hard to impress a guy who can
turn into an eagle and fly, but she managed to impress me.

Then, without warning, I heard a squawk from
above. I looked up and saw three black ravens coming for my head.
My instinct was to duck back inside, but instead I climbed onto the
roof of the limo.

“What are you doing?” Helen yelled. I didn’t
have time to respond. The three birds torpedoed into me and pushed
me off of the moving limo. I transitioned into the great white
eagle on contact and flew upward before my body hit the
pavement.

I darted across the sky. I could see
Piccadilly Street below me and the Thames River to the left of me.
I circled around and I could see Big Ben in the distance. I decided
to make my way to the gigantic clock. It was a good point of focus
and not too shabby of a landmark to fly toward. I flew as hard as I
could to the giant watch in the sky. I flew toward Bridge Street
and was making my way to the clock tower. I looked behind me and
the three ravens were chasing me.

Why was I running away from them? What was I
running away from? They were obviously Mani, but who were they? I
decided to fly past Big Ben and continue south of Wandsworth. I
could see a lit park below me on Kensington and decided to fly down
toward the grass. As I got closer to the park, I realized it wasn’t
a park, but a series of tennis courts. And not just any tennis
courts. It dawned on me, I was at Wimbledon.

I crashed into one of the nets as I tried to
land. I rolled and transitioned back to my Mani form.

The three ravens were close behind me. All
three landed on the other side of the net and transitioned. I stood
up, facing the three Mani men.

“Why are you chasing me?” I asked.

The three men stepped closer and I could see
them. I recognized all of them from the vision. There was a tall
blonde guy who was skinny as hell. He stood in the middle. There
was one on the left who had long brown hair with squirmy eyes that
looked like he could use a couple months’ of eating Jenny Craig
pre-packaged cuisine. The one on the right was the one I was
worried about. He had jet-black hair and appeared to be in very
good shape.

I repeated myself, “Why are you chasing
me?”

Again, none of them spoke. So, I just stood
my ground. My experience has taught me that when one is
outnumbered, wait to be attacked and then react.

I’m not sure why exactly, but whenever I was
in a physical confrontation, even when I was a human, everything
around me slowed down and almost came to a halt. I was able to
dissect a situation in milliseconds, because it seemed to be in
slow motion. I called it my Good Will Hunting mode.

I was staring at all three of these guys and
waiting for them to attack. Why would Helen pay these guys to fight
me? It didn’t make any sense. I stared each of these idiots in the
face. Did they really think I couldn’t take them? I could kill all
three of them in my sleep! Did they have any idea what I’ve been
through? Obviously not, because there would be no way in hell
they’d be facing off against me if they did.

The three men simultaneously, almost as if
they had choreographed it ahead of time, came toward me in a rush,
then backed off and made a triangle around me. Cool, I thought, A
special formation just for yours truly.

Suddenly, the guy with the jet-black hair
charged me. I was always good in geometry so I enjoyed this little
pattern they set up. He foolishly lunged toward me and I karate-kid
kicked him right in the face with hands in the air and all—my
little homage to 80s martial arts cinema. He fell flat on his back
and popped back up like a spring. He nodded his head at me as if to
say, ‘well played.’

The guy on the left came in at me and I
swept his right leg. I jumped and floated up and I controlled my
body in midair as well as I could. All three of their jaws dropped
as they witnessed a Mani who could fly in his Mani form. Without
transitioning. Yeah, take that suckers.