H.T. Night's 8-Book Vampire Box Set (61 page)

Lena looked over at me and with a very
serious tone in her voice she said, “You don’t think for one second
that I ever considered going with him?”

I smiled as if to say, ‘I hadn’t had much of
a clue.’

“You know that, right, Josiah? I didn’t
consider him for one second.”

“I don’t think it really matters. Last night
wasn’t about you choosing Atticai. You made your feelings
known.”

“Known? How would that be possible? I didn’t
even know what my feelings were myself.”

“Exactly. They definitely weren’t for
me.”

“Is that what you think?” Lena looked at me
in a way that made my heart feel like it was going to come out of
my chest.

“Look, it must have been a big turn on to be
the object of three different men’s affection. But after what we
had experienced together the night before, I thought I had the
slight edge.”

“If you recall, I didn’t leave with
Tommy.”

“Only because he told you to stay. And then
he ran off without you!” I was shocked. Was she really going to say
it was her choice?

“Josiah, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was
doing, but I wasn’t going to leave with Tommy.”

“That’s easy to say, now that he has
rejected your sentiment.”

“Rejected my sentiment? What are you trying
to say?”

I was beside myself. “Tommy asked you to go
with him. You did everything but audibly say the words ‘yes.’ Then
in typical Tommy fashion, he rejected it because he got what he
wanted.”

“Which was what?”

“A victory,” I said, almost yelling.

“A victory? Is that what it was to all of
you? A competition?”

“Don’t turn this around, Lena. I left my
heart out there at Flatlands. You not only rejected it, you never
once went in my direction. Even after Tommy told you to stay.”

“How could I? I was so confused. Tommy was
being completely outcast by everyone, including you.”

“I didn’t outcast him. I knew it was a bad
idea for him to fight a vampire in front of a sea of vampires. It
was a suicide wish for Tommy. He could not have won that fight that
almost happened and he knew it. He was going for broke, Lena!”

Lena stared at me, tears dripping from her
eyes. “You need to know, Josiah. I didn’t walk over to him because
I was planning on leaving with him. I went to him because he stood
all alone.”

“But you chose him and that is all everyone
saw. Tommy left with something far more valuable than you actually
leaving with him.”

“Which was what?” Lena asked.

“Tommy left with your heart. He left knowing
that you wanted to choose him. You can’t deny that, Lena.”

Lena was quiet.

“And you know what, Lena?”

“What?” She completely expected me to
continue to piss and moan about the situation, but I wasn’t going
to. I was done with the whole thing. Yari had given me a reality
check, tough love, and I knew it was true. I had to stop thinking
of myself, my love life, and serve the Mani people. We had a war
about to erupt and that was bigger than what my heart needed. My
head was now in charge.

“You can have him,” I said. “You can go to
wherever Tommy is and be with him. I’m okay with it. I seriously
need to turn this page. The Josiah and Lena love story has reached
its end. This is a broken record that’s playing some pretty awful
music. I’m not about to waste any more nights flying around
aimlessly trying to figure us out.”

“There is nothing to figure out, Josiah. I
love you.”

“Maybe you do, but I’m not the only one who
has your heart.”

Again, Lena was quiet. Too quiet.

“I only have one question to ask you. If you
love Tommy too, why did you sleep with me?”

“Because I only love you. Josiah, I don’t
love Tommy the way I love you.”

“But you love him, nonetheless. That’s way
too much for me to handle.”

“It’s not the same. You need to understand
that. Tommy fascinates me, and in the end, I care for him deeply,
but he’s not the one.”

I had to ask this question, it was eating me
up inside. “Why did you ask him if he loved you?”

“Because if he didn’t love me like he said
he did, I needed to know why he was still willing to lose
everything for it. I wanted to know the answer to that
question.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, because I’m over
it. I need to move on.”

Lena stared straight ahead at the wall,
closing me off.

“You can turn away from me, Lena, which is
immature, by the way, pouting like a high school girl who doesn’t
know how else to get her way. If you want a fight from me, you are
going to have to wait for another day. I am all fought out about
this you-and-me and other guys thing. Are you really that insecure
that you need love and approval from not just one man, not just two
men, but three men? Really? It killed me that you took longer than
a split second to choose. And then you chose Tommy? Do you even
know what it took away from me that you didn’t even claim me last
night?”

“About last night—” she began.

I interrupted her. “Lena, last night was a
catalyst for me. When you walked to Tommy and stood with him, your
whole future with me ground to a halt.”

“Josiah!”

“No! It is time for me to evolve past this
high school love story crap. It is time for me to grow up, and be
the man I’m supposed to be. I’m responsible for the fate of the
Mani. This wavering of your loyalty is a distraction from what I
must do, not for me, but for many. You want Tommy? Go get him. But
be prepared to be loyal to him, or face even more severe
consequences than you face here from your betrayal of me. Because
if you betray Tommy, God help you. He does not take disrespect and
disloyalty lightly.”

“Do you really mean it, Josiah?” Lena stared
deep into my eyes with a piercing stare. “We are done?”

“I have never been more certain about
anything in my life. I see how you look at him and it’s not the
same as you look at me. There’s a fire in you when it comes to him.
He does something in your head that I don’t think I can ever
compete with. Tommy won you, fair and square.”

“Quit looking at it like a competition. I’m
not a prize to be won. And that fire for Tommy you’re talking about
has no substance. I don’t love him like that!”

“The thing is, Lena, you probably always
looked at him that way and I was too blind to notice. And not only
that, you were too blind to notice that you love him. Tommy has
something about him that women seem to love. I have never been able
to compete with it, and honestly, I don’t want to. I like who I am
and I don’t need to put myself in a lone wolf situation where a
woman will feel sorry for me and choose me over my best friend.
That is not how I am wired. If a woman wants to be with me, it’s
full-on, unconditional loyalty and no looking back or looking at
other men.”

“You’re wrong about everything, Josiah. I
care and love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“Well, you didn’t show it last night.”

“But I’m fighting for you now.”

“It’s too late.”

“So that’s it? I walked over to Tommy and
that’s all she wrote? One gesture to help Tommy and now Lena is
history in your book of love?”

I looked at Lena and I was done playing this
back and forth game. I loved her more than she’d ever know, but at
this moment in time I needed to move on with my life. “Some things
need time. This is one of them.” I got up and walked toward the
door.

“Are you and Tommy ever going to make up?”
Lena asked.

I stopped in the hallway and said, “I don’t
see that happening, Lena. Tommy made last night all about him; he’s
a loose cannon. If I hadn’t been there, all those Mani would have
ripped him to shreds and you, too, would have gotten caught in the
crossfire, or crossfangs. And he would have saved himself before he
saved you, if you two had even survived.”

“No, Tommy’s got a hero’s heart.”

“More like an anti-hero. Saves his own ass
before anyone else’s. There’s a big difference between Tommy and
me. Tommy doesn’t think before he acts. Not only is he impulsive,
but Tommy has a dark side that scares even me. It’s a side to him I
have never fully trusted. Ever since I’ve known the man, I have
always known he was hiding something. I guess that’s what makes him
mysterious to you ladies. It’s what makes him the bad boy, and
women love the bad boy. God, I know that to be true.”

“That’s not what draws me to him,” Lena
said, defiantly.

“I really don’t care what it is about Tommy
that made you feel something for him. The truth is, I could break
down what he did in a matter of seconds and expose him for the
fraud he is, but I don’t want to. You’re free, Lena. Go to
him.”

She recoiled. “I’m not going to do
that.”

“If you’re afraid that there will be a
backlash toward you, don’t be. I’ll see to it that you and Tommy do
not become targets of aggression from the Mani who follow me. Go,
live your life, Lena! With Tommy!”

“Josiah, I’m not going to go out and be with
him. I don’t want him. I want you.”

I couldn’t believe that she chose now to
fight for me. Maybe I was selfish and needed for her to fight for
me in front of everyone else last night. But she didn’t. As a
matter of fact, it felt like she went out of her way not to. I
wanted to change the subject so I said, “This fight that we’re all
in as a Mani people doesn’t even concern you. You should just go
and live your insular little life with Tommy, like a fairy tale
ending waiting to happen.”

“How dare you say that to me? I may not have
been ‘The Chosen,’ but this fight concerns me as much as it
concerns you. Don’t forget I was a part of this world, and long
before you were.”

I walked back into Lena’s room and said,
“Shit is going to go down real soon. You don’t need to be a part of
it. You better get out of Dodge. Find Tommy. He’ll protect you, as
much as he can.”

“Well, I am staying and there is nothing you
can do about it.”

That was where she was damn wrong. I had
everything to do with it. This was my fight, one that I had been
chosen to lead. All it would take is for me to tell her to stay
back, but I didn’t.

I looked at her and she seemed very adamant
that this was something she wanted. “Okay,” I said. “Then you have
made your decision.” I once again started to make my way out of her
room. “One more thing,” I said. “It doesn’t have to be weird
between us. Let’s just do the Ross and Rachel thing and move
forward.”

“The Ross and Rachel thing?”

“You know on Friends, how Ross and Rachel
broke up and remained friends for the betterment of the group.
After a few episodes, you forgot they were ever even together as a
couple.”

“But everyone always knew they loved each
other.” She had fresh tears in her eyes now. I was not moved to
compassion nor mercy. I steeled myself against her feminine
assault. The tears. I was disgusted.

“Well, Lena. That’s Hollywood writers for
you, always ready with that happily-ever-after ending. Go have
one!”

I left her room and slammed the door behind
me. Lena had made her bed. She could freaking well lie in it,
too.

Chapter Four

So, there it was. It was time to turn the
page, right? It’s what I had to do, but it was damn hard. I had
such strong feelings for this woman and I never understood why
exactly. She was so vulnerable when we met. I was her knight in
shining armor. It seemed like we were being forced together by
something bigger than ourselves. I liked being a caretaker, a hero,
a lover. But loyalty had to be earned for that privilege of my
heart. In the end, I knew she was the love of my life, but that no
longer mattered. I needed to refocus and keep my eye on the prize.
The goal was to save my people. I needed to keep that a
priority.

I wished I still had Goshi in my life. Goshi
was a mentor and an amazing person to have connected with. It was
odd; through all of this, the only person I had felt ever “got me”
was Goshi, not Tommy. I felt a bond with Goshi, the little blue man
who kicked my ass and trained me kind of like a Jedi knight, that
was from a different world, one where I began to heavily develop my
discernment skills--my sense of right and wrong was honed sharper
than ever. It was heart-wrenching to think all of it with Goshi was
a lie. I didn’t want to believe it. I refused to believe it. At a
core level, I think I was even more heartbroken at losing Goshi
than I was at losing Lena, truth to tell.

I don’t think I had ever felt lonelier than
I did at this very moment. I wanted to run, but where would I go?
And besides, saviors of a vampire people did not run. I needed to
hold firm and stand strong. It was time for me to start figuring
out this ridiculous riddle of what my purpose is as ‘The Chosen
One.’ It was time to accomplish what I had been called to do,
protect and serve, meditate, mediate and evolve us as a people, for
the greater good and well-being of us as a collective species.

There was only one place to go and only one
thing to do. If I couldn’t speak to Goshi, I needed to do the next
best thing. I needed to speak with Atticai. Even though the mere
thought of being in his presence turned my stomach. I knew in my
heart of hearts that he would be the one Mani who could give me the
answers I sought.

I took a deep breath. I had a problem; my
last words to him were pretty harsh, in fact, I pretty much
banished him from our society and those who stood with him. Not
that he would have ever fought alongside me. I was pretty adamant
that he and I would never work together. But, had I known Krull was
coming, I might not have spoken so hastily or thrown around my
weight like some entitled…king.

Shame flooded me at the way I had used my
position to oust Atticai. Even the Chosen One could fall from
grace. And I realized that I had, for making Atticai into an
outlaw, when I probably could have negotiated some sort of truce if
I hadn’t been such a hothead about Lena. For the good of the Mani
people, I needed to eat some humble pie with Atticai and see if
there was any chance he’d speak with me.