Huckleberry Spring (17 page)

His words turned her to hard, cold ice. “And we must make sure that Ben gets what he wants.”

“I want you to get over me.”

She felt as if she would shatter into a million pieces. All those months of working so hard to be happy—trying to forget Ben Helmuth and banish him from her heart—all those months had been utterly wasted. She would never be happy again. “You don’t understand, do you, Ben? You are impossible to get over.”

Not caring if she tripped all over herself, she ran away from him as if her life depended on it. Ragged sobs stuck in her throat while hot tears stung her eyes and made it nearly impossible to see where she was going.

“Emma, wait! At least take the umbrella.”

She didn’t waste time turning back to tell him no. She’d never set foot on Huckleberry Hill again. Anna’s pumpkin could rot in the sun for all she cared.

Like a cold autumn wind, she blew down the hill and never looked back.

Even weeping as she’d never wept before, she didn’t fall. She didn’t even stumble. Ben would have been so proud.

Chapter 13

Emma climbed the short fence between Hersch-berger’s pasture and her family’s property. She didn’t even care that she scraped her leg and snagged her dress. What did anything matter anymore?

She was soaking wet. The rain had given way to a drizzle halfway home, and no traces of violent storm remained but the refreshing smell of damp grass and little puddles along the road. Usually she loved to go outside right after a rainstorm. Today she wanted to crawl into a little ball and let the world go on without her.

Her heart sank when she glanced toward the house. Lizzie and Mahlon were swinging on the swing set, going impossibly high like two first graders trying to outdo each other. Lizzie giggled, and although Mahlon had his back to Emma, he surely grinned with his whole face, the way he was accustomed to doing whenever Lizzie was around.

It seemed they couldn’t get enough of each other. It was the way she and Ben used to be.

Another sob almost tore from her lips. She clapped her hand over her mouth. They mustn’t see her. She wouldn’t make it all the way into the house without being discovered. Should she duck into the chicken coop? Nae, she felt miserable enough without exiling herself to the chicken coop. She wanted to cry in peace without that foul smell filling her lungs.

Maybe she could slink around to the back of the woodshed and crawl through the window. Of course, she didn’t know where she would sit, and the sawdust made her sneeze, but the pleasant smell of freshly cut cedar would be a nice change from flying feathers and squawking chickens.

She ran for cover behind the cherry tree. Holding her breath, she listened for any sign that Mahlon or Lizzie had seen her. She could still hear Lizzie’s giggling.

It was a little farther from the tree to the shed. She poked her head around the tree. Their backs were to her. No need to fear being discovered.

Emma bolted for the shed and breathed a sigh of relief when she managed to reach its protection without making any noise. It wouldn’t be a problem to open the window wide enough to climb into. It was a big window, and she’d done it before.

She propped her hands underneath the bottom half and pushed. It wouldn’t budge. Not an inch. She cupped her hands around her eyes and gazed inside. Someone had fastened the latch.
Ach, du lieva
, now she’d have to sneak around the front and risk being discovered. She wanted to sit down and have a gute cry and then maybe run away forever. Was that too much to ask?

She’d have to risk it. With the way Mahlon and Lizzie were carrying on, they wouldn’t notice a tornado blowing through. Emma tiptoed around the side of the shed with her gaze glued to the swing set. Unfortunately, this meant she didn’t watch where she was going. She stumbled over a chicken in her path and almost lost her footing. Even though she regained her balance quietly, the chicken was not so circumspect. It beat its wings and squawked indignantly and ruined any chance for Emma to make it to the safety of the shed without being seen.

Mahlon dragged his feet on the ground to stop his swing. “Emma,” he called.

She smiled as best she could and gave him a casual wave. Maybe from this far, he wouldn’t see the tearstained face or the eyes as puffy as feather pillows.

Lizzie turned her head, jumped from her swing in midair, and ran at Emma. Should she turn and run the other way?

Nae. That would be a little too suspicious.

“You’re home early,” Lizzie said as she and Mahlon approached. “Me and Mahlon had another idea.” She got close enough to see the red eyes. “Oh, dear.”

Mahlon’s smile disappeared. “You’re soaking wet. What happened?”

Emma tried to wave away his concern. “You know. Just another wonderful day at Huckleberry Hill.”

Mahlon’s expression turned positively grim. “What did Ben do?”

Lizzie narrowed her eyes. “What? You think he pushed her into a mud puddle or something? Why do you blame everything on my brother? Maybe it has nothing to do with Ben.”

“It always has something to do with Ben,” Mahlon said.

Ben. Jah, it always and forever had everything to do with Ben.

Emma clamped her lips together so nothing would escape. She lowered her head and marched toward the house. Even Mamm’s finger wagging would be more bearable than this banter between her best friend and her twin brother, who didn’t care about her as much as they cared about impressing each other.

“Emma, wait,” Lizzie called.

She should have run. Both of them caught up to her in no time.

Lizzie hooked her elbow and pulled her to the swing. “Sit,” Lizzie said. “Talk to me.”

“Swings make me dizzy,” Emma said, not looking Lizzie in the eye. “I just want to go lie down.”

“Let her be, Lizzie,” Mahlon growled.

Lizzie propped her hands on her hips. “If you’re going to accuse Ben of being the one to make Emma cry, then I want to hear exactly what happened.”

“We know what happened. Ben won’t leave Emma alone.”

“He can’t help it if she’s on Huckleberry Hill three times a week.”

Mahlon squared his shoulders. “So he doesn’t love Emma. Fine. But why does he have to keep rubbing it in?”

Emma lunged at Mahlon and threw her arms around his neck. Burying her face in the crook of his neck, she broke into gut-clenching sobs. Mahlon would always be on her side.

Her brother enfolded her into a crushing bear hug and let her get his shirt wet with her tears and her sopping dress.

“Oh, Emma,” Lizzie said. She put her arm awkwardly around Emma’s shoulder as Emma stood in Mahlon’s embrace.

“He kissed me,” she managed to say between sobs.

Mahlon grabbed her shoulders and nudged her to arm’s length. “He what?”

Lizzie’s astonishment was as complete as Mahlon’s. “Just now?”

“And then he told me he would never marry a girl like me.” Emma felt as if she were crumbling.

Mahlon again wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight. “That dog,” he murmured.

“But . . . I don’t understand why he would do that,” Lizzie said.

Mahlon’s voice was tinged with a bitterness that Emma hadn’t heard for weeks. “I told you, Tizzy. He wants to rub it in, to prove that he can get Emma back anytime he wants.”

Lizzie caught her breath and stepped back. “Ben would never do that.”

Mahlon rubbed his hand up and down Emma’s arm. “Did you kiss him back, Emma?”

“Of course.”

He scowled at Lizzie. “Ben thinks Emma will follow him around like a puppy, lapping up whatever crumbs he throws at her. He’s back in Bonduel to gloat.” He folded his arms across his chest. “And to play with my little sister’s feelings.”

Jah, that’s how she felt. Pathetic.

“Don’t talk about my brother that way.”

“Quit defending him,” Mahlon said. “He’s a snake.”

“Oh,” Lizzie said, mocking him, “you called him a dog too. Any other animal names you want to throw at him?”

“How about rat? Or lizard?” His eyes could have shot darts. “Or pig? I think he’s a pig.”

To Emma’s surprise, Lizzie looked on the verge of tears. That couldn’t be. Lizzie got angry, but she never got her feelings hurt. “Well, I think
you’re
a pig, Mahlon Nelson.”

Emma slumped her shoulders. If only she’d been able to make it to the safety of the shed before they had discovered her.

“I don’t care what you think of me,” Mahlon snapped, “as long as you stay away from me.”

“I will,” Lizzie said. “I’d rather chop all my hair off than ever speak to you again.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes as he clenched his fists. The emotion didn’t last long. Mahlon didn’t often show weakness. “Tell that brother of yours to keep away from my sister.”

“You tell him yourself, if you’re so brave.”

“Don’t worry. I will,” he said.

“You’ll do no such thing,” Emma said.

Mahlon gave her that look he always had when he scolded her. “I’ll always stand up for you, Em, even if you won’t stand up for yourself. And from now on, I’m steering clear of the Nelson family. Especially Lizzie Tizzy. I’ve had enough of her to last a lifetime.”

“And I’ve had more than enough of you,” Lizzie countered. “I’ve had so much of you, I want to throw up.”

Mahlon folded his arms and leaned within inches of Lizzie’s face. “Then why don’t you go home?”

Lizzie lifted her chin. “I’m here to see Emma. I’ll go home when I please.”

Emma felt ill. Nothing she said could possibly make things better between them, and she was too wrapped up in her own heartache to try.

“Well then,” Mahlon said, frowning so hard Emma thought his mouth might fall off his face. He spun on his heels and stomped toward the house.

Emma held her breath as she watched him go. Would she lose Lizzie again because of Mahlon? And wouldn’t it be better if she did? Being around Lizzie was a harsh reminder of Ben.

Lizzie turned her face away. “He never could keep his temper.” She sounded indignant enough, but her voice shook and a single tear made a slow trail down her face.

Even though she wanted nothing more than to be alone, Emma slid her arm around Lizzie’s shoulder. “Don’t cry. He’ll cool off in a few hours.”

Lizzie sniffed and swiped the tear from her cheek. “It never would have worked between us. What girl wants such an ill-tempered husband?”

Emma gladly steered Lizzie away from the subject of her own humiliation that morning. She need never know how easily Emma had succumbed to temptation. Emma ignored the searing pain that twisted her stomach into sailor’s knots. “Mahlon can get riled when he cares about something.”

“I want a nice, steady husband.”

“A husband who doesn’t care about anything?”

“Who doesn’t make me crazy.”

“Crazy in love?”

“Crazy in love with Mahlon? Absolutely not.” Lizzie relaxed the hard line of her mouth, shook her head, and huffed in frustration. “Oh, I don’t know.”

“He’s been known to help farmers get their corn in before the frost, and he still picks up Amos Eicher in his wheelchair every morning for school. He’s got a gute heart.”

“That doesn’t mean I should marry him.”

“Of course not. You should only marry him if you really want to, not because he’s good-looking or spirited or has a heart of gold deep down in there somewhere. You should definitely love him first.”

Lizzie blinked rapidly. “It doesn’t matter, because I am never speaking to him again.”

“We’re supposed to forgive those who trespass against us.”

“I’ll forgive him. Eventually. But I won’t set foot inside your house. And he can forget about ever getting another apple pie no matter how much he begs.”

“It will be hard to finish our quilt if you won’t come in my house,” Emma said.

“You can come to my house.”

Emma did her best to smile. Let Lizzie think everything was all better. “I’ll come after supper tonight, and we can sew. Your machine is better anyway.”

“Okay. Come over. Mamm won’t mind seeing you again.” Her lips twisted sheepishly, as if she wished she hadn’t just said that.

“Oh.” Emma felt cold and empty. “She’s still mad at me because of Ben.”

“She doesn’t understand.”

“Yes, she does.” Emma’s throat constricted and she couldn’t have said one more word to save her life. It was all she could do to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to overflow at the slightest nudge.

“Don’t ever say that, Emma. Ben is acting like an idiot. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

There was her nudge. The dam broke. She covered her face with her hands and bawled like a stuck pig. “I kissed him,” she managed to blurt out. Might as well tell her everything. What did it matter anymore? If Lizzie knew the truth, maybe she would stop plaguing her with plans to get her back together with Ben.

“Well, that’s not your fault. He kissed you. What were you supposed to do?”

“No,” Emma sobbed. “No, not that.” She grabbed Lizzie’s hand and dragged her to the privacy of the woodshed. They dodged Dat’s table saw and sat in the middle of the floor amidst the sawdust. At least it smelled fresh.

Lizzie stared at Emma, her expression a mix of sympathy and unrestrained curiosity.

Emma’s voice shook uncontrollably, but she forged on. Lizzie should know the worst. “Two nights before he left me, we were sitting on the sofa and he seemed so unhappy. I wanted to cheer him up, so I leaned over and kissed him on the lips.”

Lizzie’s jaw dropped open. “Oh, please, Emma. That’s not why he broke up with you.”

“That and the fact that I can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other without tripping.”

“Ben wouldn’t break up with you because you kissed him.”

“He thinks I’m wicked.”

Lizzie shook her head vigorously. “I know you, Emma. You are not wicked, and I can’t believe in a million years that Ben would ever think that of you. Everybody kisses when they’re dating, no matter what the bishop says. Besides, you and Ben were engaged. Kissing is expected.”

Emma tried to stanch the water pouring from her eyes. “Don’t you see? His kiss today was a test. He wanted to know if I would resist temptation, and I didn’t. I kissed him right back.”

Lizzie raised her brows and peered doubtfully at Emma. “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but that is really a stupid notion.”

“It’s not, Lizzie. I’ve been replaying last summer in my mind over and over again, racking my brain, wondering what could have happened to make Ben stop loving me.” She clenched her fists. “He had reason enough because of the chicken coop, but the kiss cemented his mind against me. Before he broke our engagement, he withdrew from me, as if he couldn’t confide in me anymore. That’s probably the time he started having doubts. My kiss was enough to push him to leave me.”

Lizzie rose her knees, took Emma by the shoulders, and pinned her with a serious gaze. “What did he do when you kissed him that first time?”