Hudson (12 page)

She wore a pair of high heels styled after hiking boots that
her sister purchased and hated.  The jeans, two fresh bra tanks over her “bulletproof”
bra, and a white button-down shirt gave her enough layers to feel confident. 

Gabriella walked without a specific destination in mind.  It
was no surprise when she ended up at the coffee shop she visited most often on the
days she worked. 

She accepted her order, waved to the familiar barista, and
stepped outside.  Her favorite table was available and she settled in happily
before opening her backpack.  A notebook and pen allowed her to doodle while
she soaked up the beautiful day and sipped her coffee.

In the dog park across the way, she watched dogs and kids
run and roll around in the grass.  A toddler in what was once a lovely pink top
and leggings hauled her muddy dog into her arms.  She didn’t notice the mud at
all but it certainly got her mother’s attention.  The woman’s shock was so
funny that she laughed aloud. 

Brie idly sketched the scene, blocked the cartoon, and flipped
to a fresh page. 

A man and woman laughed together on a bench down the block
and she sketched the way their heads leaned together.  Signing her name below
it, she added a tiny heart above the “I” and grinned at her silliness. 

For a long while she people-watched, soaking up the sounds
and smells and movements going on all around her.  She ordered a Chai tea and
Greek yogurt cup with fresh strawberries. 

The coffee shop was one of the best places to hang out and
doodle.  The direct sun never made it to the little fenced section but lit the scenes
across the street.  Too much glare would have made it impossible to draw for
very long.

An elderly woman walking with a small child captured her
attention and she sketched as fast as she could before they passed her.  They
came alongside her table behind the iron fence.  They moved slowly because the
child had very little legs and the woman was very old. 

Careful not to startle the woman, Brie spoke softly, “Excuse
me.  Excuse me please.  I don’t mean to bother you.  You both looked so happy I
had to sketch you.  I’d like you to have it.”

The woman looked suspicious.  “How much?”

“Oh no!  I don’t want you to
buy
it!  I thought you’d
like the memory.”  Brie held it out.  “Here.”  She handed the woman the sketch
and the wariness faded away, replaced with a soft expression as she lowered it
so her grandson could see. 

His face broke into a gap-toothed grin.  “That’s
me,
Savta
!” he shouted.

“Yes, it is.  Your mother will love it.”  The woman gave her
a careful smile. 

“It was nice to meet you.  I’m glad you like it.”  She
returned to her yogurt and watched as they continued on their way.  With her
other hand, she recreated the looks on their faces before turning to a fresh
page.

“Do you do that a lot?” asked a gruff voice behind her.

Closing her eyes and gathering her composure, she turned her
head to face the always-fierce gaze of Hudson Winters.  He wore jeans and a dress
shirt with stylish leather shoes on his feet.  A large coffee sat empty beside
him.

How long has he been here? 

A light breeze blew a lock of her hair across her face and
she nervously tucked it behind her ear.  “Do…what?  Doodle?”

His long legs were stretched out in front of him and his
hands were clasped loosely over his firm stomach.  “No.  Do you often give away
portraits you do of strangers?”

The man had her flustered. 

“I…well, they’re
in
it.”  She busily straightened the
items on her table.  “It’s just doodles anyway.”

“May I?” 

Moving silently for a big man, he appeared at her side, and
held his hand out for her notebook.  She stared up, frozen with him so close. 
Her mind went blank. 

“Brie?”

She wanted to melt into the sidewalk. 

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Hudson stared at her without speaking and she got the
distinct feeling a mouse probably felt when faced with a snake.  Not that he
was a snake.  She knew he wasn’t.  More the predator/prey thing.  The man
wasn’t
reptilian
, for god’s sake.

Again…what the fuck is wrong with you?

Without a word, he sat at her table and stared at her across
the short distance.  She was happy for her natural tan since it kept people
from realizing just how hotly she often blushed. 

“May I see your sketches, Brie?”

She swallowed hard and pushed her notebook toward him.  The
moment he started flipping through the pages, she realized her mistake.  She
knew the instant he found the sketch of him and Natalia.  He went completely
still and lifted his eyes to hers. 

“I sketch
everyone
.  I always have.” 

The excuse sounded weak even to her own ears.  The difference
between most of her sketches and the one featuring the best friends was the
detail. 

It was a sketch she frequently returned to and it
showed. 

His eyes shifted past her and a crinkle of annoyance
appeared between his eyes. 

She understood why when she heard, “Brie!  I can’t
believe
you get up early enough to be clear across town.  I think you’re possessed with
the fearsome demon known as
morning person
.”  Riya gave a mock shudder. 
“
Hudson
.  What a surprise.” 

Her friend came around to kiss her cheek as Micah held her
hand.  As the slightly bigger and definitely darker of Riya’s men, Micah’s eyes
cut to Hudson and back to Brie in silent question. 

“I was out walking.  I like to walk without a place in mind. 
I…I like the park.  To watch the people in the park.  The coffee here is my
favorite.” 

You are a babbling idiot and should seek professional
help.

Riya laughed.  “You’re walking the city in
Azzedines
?”

“Walking in…what?”

“You’re wearing a twelve-hundred-dollar pair of shoes,
Brie…to go for a walk.”

Brie knocked her coffee cup off the table, tried to grab it,
and succeeded in knocking the yogurt cup over as well.  Stopping her frantic
movements, she calmly picked up the items then cleared her throat and turned to
Riya. 

“Are you telling me these shoes cost more than one thousand
dollars
? 
My sister paid more than a thousand
dollars
and gave them to me instead
of returning them when she didn’t like them?”

“Girl, that is exactly what I’m telling you.  I can’t
imagine them being Izzy’s style.  I bet she bought them for you and made up the
story about hating them.”  Riya let go of Micah’s hand and crouched, lifting
Brie’s foot in her hand.  “These are the real deal.  Very hot on you, honey.”

“I cannot
wear
…I am going to
kill
her.”

Riya stood and recaptured Micah’s hand.  “Yes, you
can
and don’t you
dare
kill a woman who buys Azzedines as gifts.”  Hudson returned
to flipping through the other sketches.  When her friend noticed, her eyes got
enormous.  “Oh my god, I love these!  Baby, look!” 

She tugged Micah closer and they stood looking over Hudson’s
shoulder.

Thirty seconds.  She made it for thirty seconds. 

“I have to get back, Riya.  Lots to do today.  Errands and…stuff. 
I’m going to go.” 

She stood and picked up her trash, moving around them to
throw it away.  On the way by, she grabbed Hudson’s empty cup as well.  When
she leaned over to pick up her backpack, she took the opportunity to tug her
tank tops firmly into place.

“I’ll drive you.”  Hudson’s
offer
resembled a
command.

“No.  I can walk.  I like to walk.  It’s alright, thank
you.” 

She touched cheeks with Riya and Micah, shoved the notebook
in her bag, and grabbed a hair tie out while she was in there.  She roughly
gathered all her hair and somewhat secured it in a messy bun. 

“So great to see you guys.  Okay, bye…everyone.” 

She pulled cheap shades from the strap and slid them on as
she made her escape.  She walked two blocks and remembered she was walking in
shoes that cost more than the rest of her wardrobe combined. 

A sharp whistle hailed a cab. 

She gave him her address and pulled out her phone to call
Izzy.  It went to voicemail.  Her message was succinct.  “You are
toast
,
sister.”

At her building, she paid the cabbie and got out.  As she
closed the door, her phone rang and she leaned against the banister. 

“How could you give me shoes that are so expensive and not
tell me?  I wear them to get
groceries
and pick up my
laundry
. 
Yes, I realize they’re meant to be worn.  That is not the
point
and you
know
it.” 

Turning to face the street, Hudson stood less than ten feet
away, leaning casually against the light post.  She screamed and bobbled her
phone, barely managing to hold on to it. 

“Izzy, I’ll call you back.”

Disconnecting, Brie stared at Hudson for a long moment.  “Did
you follow me?”

“I did.  I’m not a stalker but if I were, I would rejoice in
the fact that you don’t pay very close attention to your surroundings.”  She
blinked, completely unsure how to respond.  “We were talking.  We were
interrupted.  I want to finish our conversation.”

“I…I don’t…what?”

“For such an eloquent woman, you seem to be having trouble
today.”

Pushing her sunglasses on top of her head, Brie waited a
beat but couldn’t fight the smile that wanted out.  “Did you just make a
joke
,
Hudson?”

“You are extraordinarily pretty when you smile.  You don’t
usually do that around me.”

Tilting her head a bit, she heard an inner whisper of “
save
the stray
” and wasn’t sure what to do about it.  “You make me nervous,” she
told him honestly. 

“Why?”

“Mainly because of everything that happened to bring me
here; we didn’t meet under the best circumstances.  Then Christmas Eve confused
me and I’m embarrassed about that.”  She shrugged.  “Also, you’re mean to
people sometimes.”

“I know I am.  I’d apologize but we would both know I don’t
really mean it.”  Once again, she was at a loss for words.  “I
am
sorry
for how you ended up here but not that you did and I didn’t mean to confuse you
at Christmas.  I was floored myself and needed time to process.”

She didn’t understand this man in any way.  His brain ran on
a wavelength hers didn’t have. 

“Okay.  Thank you.”  Clearing her throat carefully, she
asked, “Would you like tea?”

“I would.”

Brie nodded and walked up the steps, feeling awkward and
clumsy as she pulled out her keys to unlock the entry door.  As she glanced up,
she saw him watching her in the door’s reflection.  Hiding the shaking of her
hand, she pushed it open and waited as he walked through. 

It was disconcerting to have him behind her on the stairs because
she was distinctly aware of the size of her ass.  She was never so thankful to
get to her door.  Accomplishing another lock, Brie put her bag down on the
little foyer table and headed into her kitchen.

“You’ve done beautiful things with the color and light in
this space.”

Turning, she looked out over her apartment and smiled.  “Thank
you.  I love this apartment.  The owner maintains the building so well and they
preserved a lot of the old detail.” 

Moving to a small door set in the wall, she opened it to
show him a shallow spice rack.  “Behind this is the original dumbwaiter. 
Instead of taking it out, the space was repurposed.” 

She ran her fingers over the carved shelves.  “The detail is
amazing.  It’s just a
cabinet
, you know?  You wouldn’t think the edging
would have mattered.”  Closing the door with a shrug, she went to the sink to
fill the kettle.  “Most people would slap a piece of plywood in there and call
it done.”

“You have a good eye for detail.” 

From the corner of her eye, she watched as he roamed her
living room, touching fabrics she’d decorated with, leafing through books on
the shelves. 

Hudson was a big man but moved gracefully through her space
without overwhelming it.  He glanced through the door to her bedroom but didn’t
go inside. 

At her desk, he stopped and stared at something.  She walked
around and saw he was looking at the pamphlet the clinic sent her to prepare
for surgery. 

Mortified, her entire body hot, she felt insanely on the
verge of tears.  Reaching past him, she grabbed the stack of information and
shoved it in the top drawer.

“It’s why you wear so many clothes,” he said softly.

“I…I…”  She couldn’t look at his face and had no idea what
to say.

“Turn around, Brie.” 

She did, thankful for an excuse to avoid his face. 

When he put his hands on her shoulders, she jumped.  “I
won’t hurt you.” 

He began to massage the muscles of her neck, shoulders, and
upper back with his thumbs and it felt
incredible
.  The weight of her
breasts put constant stress on her upper torso. 

“You must hurt here all the time.” 

She nodded but couldn’t speak.  His forearm moved across her
upper chest and gripped the opposite shoulder.  She panicked.

“It’s alright.  Don’t be afraid.”  With his other palm, he
pressed at the center of her back between her shoulder blades and it relieved a
burning pressure she lived with almost constantly. 

“My mother is built like you.  When I sold my first company,
I found the best doctor in the country and she had the surgery done.  She was
in her late forties and it changed her life.” 

Hudson didn’t rush, working the muscles that ached as if he
had all the time in the world. 

“When are you going?”

Her voice was low.  “Monday, I get my final lab work done. 
If everything is good, they’ll put me on the schedule within a couple of days. 
I took time off work.”

“Do you have help?  Someone who can stay with you?”

“The girl across the hall.  Her name is Sita.  I helped her
with some schoolwork so she’s happy to be able to return the favor.”

The teakettle whistled and his hands stilled after one final
stroke over her back through her clothing. 

“Thank you, Hudson.”

She walked into the kitchen and tried to get her breathing
under control as she made a tray.  A few minutes later, she found Hudson sitting
in the large chair she sat in to read. 

He looked…perfect there.

Shaking herself, Brie put the tray down between them on the
side table.  He picked up a triangle of baklava and bit into it, his eyes
drifting closed.  She watched as he chewed slowly.  Only when he swallowed did
he open them. 

“Where do you get this?  It’s the best baklava I’ve ever
tasted.” 

Her eyes went wide and she laughed.  “The wife who owns the
bodega, Mrs. Sodderham, gave me the recipe.  I’ll tell her it was a hit.” 

The man glanced at the dessert and back at her.  “You made
this?”  She nodded with a grin.  “Do you like to cook?”

“I do but I only cook on the weekends.  I make my meals for
the weekdays.  It’s silly to cook for one person after work.”  Brie sipped her
tea and watched him finish the pastry with a look of pure pleasure on his
face. 

“What are you making this weekend?”

“I’m beginning to stockpile finished meals for…for after my
procedure so I just have to heat things up.  It will make it easier.”  She
looked through the sheer curtains, focused on the bright white sun.  “Tonight
I’m making a pot roast.  It’s been marinating all morning.”

The silence dragged out.

“Brie.”  She met his gaze.  “Ask me.”

The man gave orders in a way that affected her stomach. 
After a long pause, she swallowed hard.  His black eyes never looked away from
her face.  He didn’t even blink. 

“Would you…like to stay for dinner?”

“Yes.”

“It needs to cook for several hours.  I’ll start it.” 
Standing, she moved to her bedroom and took off the heels.  She’d finish
yelling at Izzy about them later. 

For now, she stepped into sneakers and went to the kitchen. 
All the ingredients were already prepped and waiting in the refrigerator.  Hudson
stood there as she closed the door, and she almost dropped everything.  His
hands steadied her and he set each item on the counter. 

“Thank you.  You move silently for a big man.”

“I’ve watched you interact with people, Brie.  You’re rarely
unsure of yourself.  As a matter of fact, you’re extremely confident and happy.” 
He reached out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear.  “I know I can be an
asshole but I would never hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t, Hudson.  Never on purpose.” 

She stayed busy and avoided his eyes as she prepared the
meat to go into the oven.  It gave her time to collect her thoughts.  When
she’d set the timer to slow-cook the roast and vegetables, she washed her hands
and turned to him. 

“You fascinate me, Hudson.  I don’t know why but I know I’m
susceptible to it.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he asked her quietly.  His eyes stared
at her so fixedly that she almost couldn’t find the courage to say what she
needed to say.

“Hudson, sex isn’t just sex to someone like me.  I’m not
okay with having you get me off then walking away and seeing your best friend
show up to finish the job for you.”

“
Fuck.
”

“Yes, I’m assuming, but I would imagine that was the point.” 
She smiled and laid her hand over his arm.  He put his larger one over it and
closed his eyes.  “I think you’re a good man.  Better than most people give you
credit for.  I just don’t know if you’re good
for
me.” 

She felt his muscles go hard under her palm and his gaze
locked on hers.  “I would
let
you hurt me,
let
you use me, and
still try to show you what giving was meant to be.”  Brie shrugged.  “It’s in
my nature to give and to comfort where I can, Hudson.”

“I don’t want to hurt you or use you.”  He traced a finger
down her face and watched as she leaned into the simple touch. 

“I think about you.  I think about…Natalia, as well.”  She
whispered, “I need to tell you something.  I’m not sure how it happened, why it
happened, or why I liked it…but I had an encounter with her.  I’d never…done anything
like that before.”

“Were you afraid?”  She shook her head.  “You didn’t feel
pressured?”  Another shake of her head made him smile.  “You enjoyed it?”  A
long pause and she nodded.  “Then I have a very serious question, Brie…did you
get film?”

He never saw the gut shot coming and thank god she pulled it
at the last minute or she could have ruptured something.  Shoving her hair out
of her face, she glared at him. 

“Hudson, this is serious.”

Lifting her hands, he placed them on his chest.  “Why is it
serious?”

It took a moment to gather her thoughts.  To decide what to
say and what to hold back.  He waited as they stood together in her bright
little kitchen.  Finally, she took a deep breath and met his eyes.

“The two of you…are circling me, aren’t you?”  His eyes
widened slightly but he didn’t answer.  “I feel as though I’m being encouraged
in a direction I may not be equipped to handle.”

Hudson stroked his hands over her shoulders.  “This topic
makes you nervous.”  She nodded.  “Why?”  She tugged her lip between her
teeth.  “Tell me.”

“I’m not sure.” 

“Your experience with Natalia confused you?”  Another nod
with a little sigh.  “Is it because you don’t know her well?” 

“No, I feel like I
do
know her.”

“Because of me?”

“Yes.  I’ve seen her a lot over the last year.  I observe
people.  I notice things.”

“You intrigue me.” 

He gathered up her hair and moved it to one side so he could
kiss the skin on the side of her neck.  The shiver that worked through her in
response didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Natalia and I have never been in a relationship.”  He
quickly clarified.  “Not romantically.” 

Here are the potential landmines in this conversation.

“We don’t have sex if either of us is involved otherwise. 
We’re friends.  She’s been my best friend for most of my life.”  He smoothed
her hair.  “Now, what have you noticed?”

“I don’t want to make you mad or hurt your feelings.”

“Brie, if I can’t handle your observations and opinions, I
don’t fucking deserve to be here.  Don’t censor yourself.  I know I can be a mean
bastard sometimes.”  She grinned.  “Fine.  Most of the time…but you should
never feel bad about telling me what you think.  You aren’t petty or vindictive.”   

She took a deep breath and nodded.  “You’re both lonely and
often unhappy.  You go, go, go all the time and you fuck each other to release
tension.  The calm never lasts because you’re not connecting on a core
emotional level.  You have a fear of going there, she has the same hang-up with
you, but you aren’t able to form lasting relationships with anyone else
either.  Honestly, using each other without an emotional return on the
investment will eventually destroy your friendship.”

The shock was written all over his face and he stared at her
for a long time without speaking.  Finally, she cleared her throat nervously.  “What
did you think I was going to say?”

“I have no idea.  I’m reeling; you’ve analyzed our primary
deficiency when you’ve never talked to us together.  Today is the first
substantial time you’ve been around me.  It’s frightening, really.”

“Are you mad?”

“No, Brie.  I’m not mad.  I just…I’m not sure what it
means.”

She forced herself to put aside the silly dreams she
sometimes had in the dark of the night – dreams she knew were rooted in
loneliness and a desire to be part of something.  She forced herself to think
more about what was
best
for the man in front of her. 

Wishing for something didn’t make it so. 

It was surprisingly simple, despite how easily she could
imagine a place in his…
their
…life.

“You mean where do you go from here?”  He nodded slowly.  “I
think you have to develop a relationship that incorporates your actual lives
outside the bedroom or stop fucking as if it doesn’t matter.  Trying to have it
both ways isn’t healthy, Hudson.  You
can’t
lose your best friend.”

She laid her palm along his cheek and gave him a soft
smile.  “After you asked me if I researched you, I did.  You
don’t
just
throw money at problems.  That’s the bullshit you want everyone to think.”  Going
up on tiptoes, she kissed his mouth lightly.  “I
like
you as a person. 
You deserve happiness whether I’m part of it or not, Hudson.”

As she settled back, he hugged her tightly.  “I don’t know
how to deal with someone like you, Brie.  No one should be so nice.  Not in the
kind of world we live in.  You’ll get hurt.”