Hunter's Moon.htm (8 page)

"You turned to me and whatever is human inside you wasn't home. The look was all animal. Have you been this way your whole life?"

I shook my head. That was all the information she was getting about me for now.

"What then?" I'd never had a blow-by-blow narration before. Mild burned coffee rose to me. She was getting irritated by my interruptions.

"I didn't know what to do. I backed up and you followed, stalking me. I think you thought I was dinner."

I had a flash of memory just then. I'd never had one before. Visions in black and white, of seeing Sue and having to look up at her. Of being a wolf. I saw her wide eyes, smelled her fear. But she smelled like me. She had my scent on her and I liked the combination of smells. She didn't smell like food, she smelled like… a mate. I knew why I had stalked her. I couldn't tell her that I hadn't wanted to eat her, I had wanted to screw her. That's way too weird, even for me!

Sue's voice cut through the memory. It frayed at the edges, then fell away from my mind. "I had no choice but to accept what I was seeing. Then there was a knock on the door. You growled and backed into the bedroom. I shut the bedroom door and answered the knock."

"That was stupid." I was annoyed more at myself than her.

"I asked first! Give me some credit. The man said he was room service with dinner. You told me you were going to order."

Oh.

"There was no one at the door, just a cart with covered dishes. So I wheeled it inside. The food smelled great. I heard you snuffling at the door like you could smell the food and I figured that if you weren't hungry, maybe you wouldn't be so… aggressive. So I took the plate with the rare steak and moved it close to the door. You snuffled louder so I opened the door a little, slid the plate inside and backed up."

"Thanks for the dinner."

She shook her head. "You wouldn't eat it. You sniffed it and gave the steak a lick but your eyes went right back to me. I didn't like that look so I closed the door again."

I coughed to hide a smile. Yeah, I am a little single-minded. I probably would have eaten the steak without her there. "Why didn't you leave?"

"I didn't know how long you'd be like that or what would happen next. I couldn't just leave you trapped in the room. You couldn't open the door. You might starve or die of thirst if I just left."

I sighed and shook my head. "That soft heart is going to get you killed."

"That's the plan," she replied smoothly. It made me smile. I like black humor.

"So why didn't you let me make you dinner if that's the plan?"

"Because how would you explain it? It'd be a horrible mess."

She wasn't lying. "So you weren't afraid of me?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "As much as I am of any dog, er— wolf. I like animals."

"You said you've seen it before. When?"

"Oh, God, a long time ago. It's just bits and pieces of memory. I'm not even positive that it was real."

"Tell me," I ordered. I need to know if there are others like me. Other than Babs. She hasn't exactly been a fountain of information and it's not like I can sniff them out or something. At least, I don't think I can. Maybe I should have let Babs give me some instruction like she wanted to.

"I must've been about four years old." She scooted down further into the water, reaching up with a toe to turn on the hot water spigot. She spoke louder although she didn't need to. "My parents took us all to the woods. Mom was really great back when Dad was alive. Sweet and thoughtful and just wonderful." She smiled. "I remember Mom made a special trip to the grocery store to buy me bologna for the trip. My favorite sandwich back then was bologna with ketchup on white bread."

She giggled, really giggled. I'd never heard one that wasn't faked. It was cute and I smiled at her. The smile reached all the way to my eyes. She blushed again and averted her eyes. Musky desire rose from her. Her toe stretched again for the faucet but I beat her to it. My hand brushed her bare foot and electricity raced through us both. She gasped and glanced up at me in shock. Our eyes locked briefly but then she looked away uncomfortably. Her foot dropped back into the water.

Sexual tension crackled in the air.

Not yet, I told myself sternly. Business first.

"So, you were camping?" I prompted, after her sudden fear tickled my nose.

A relieved breath exited from her lips. She nodded. "We had just eaten and I was playing near the edge of the woods with my favorite doll. Her name was Jessica. Strange, huh?"

I raised my brows slightly in agreement. I've always liked the name. It's why I picked the fake name for her to use.

"She was one of those dolls that had adjustable hair, you know?"

I didn't. I shrugged and shook my head. "Sorry, dolls aren't my thing."

"Well, she did," she said firmly. "My sisters decided to tease me. I think it was meant as a tease. I try to remember it that way. They took my doll and threw it into the woods. They told me that Mom would be mad if I lost my doll and I'd better go get her. They were right. They wouldn't get in trouble for throwing the doll; I'd get in trouble for losing her. It was the way it was in our family."

"Kids can be cruel."

"Yeah. But they're supposed to grow out of it. Bekki and Mitzi didn't." The anger that she still felt all these years later surprised me again. There was no mistaking the scent.

"Sorry." It was the only thing I could think of to say.

She shrugged. This time, she didn't catch the towel in time. Yes, I watched. I waited for the blush. She didn't disappoint me.

She quickly tightened the towel around her body. "Anyway, I went into the woods to find Jessica. It was hours later when I did. If my parents called me I never heard them. When I found my doll and turned around to head back, I didn't know where I was. I was absolutely lost and the sun was setting. I wasn't a Girl Scout or even a Brownie. I didn't know directions. I knew I'd get spanked for running off so I started to cry."

Sadness and fear rose from her in a sudden burst, engulfing me in her memory. The emotions shadowed her voice as she spoke. "I still had part of my sandwich in my pocket and my doll for company so I sat down under a tree and waited. But nobody came."

"What happened then?"

"I heard a sound and thought it might be Mom or Dad. I called out but it wasn't them. It was a big dog, white as snow with blue eyes. It was beautiful. I didn't know a wolf from a dog. I did remember that Dad always told me a doggie without a collar doesn't like people so I shouldn't pet it. But it was a pretty dog and I was lonely."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "That wasn't real bright."

"Hey!" she retorted. "I was four! What can you expect?"

"Okay, yeah, I know. What did you do then?"

"I thought the doggy might be hungry because I was. I shared my sandwich with it. All dogs like bologna."

I wrinkled my nose. "Don't ever feed me bologna. I know what's in that stuff." I was startled that I said it as though it would come up again.

"Said by a man who just ate a raw turkey," she replied snidely.

I didn't understand the apparent dig. "So I guess the 'doggie' didn't eat you."

"The wolf was very sweet." The ground clove smell of pride; self-satisfaction burst into the air. Maybe the cloves weren't in the oil.

"He stayed with me all night. Kept me company. That's what reminded me. When you laid down on the couch and just stayed with me. Warm and just, well, there. It's hard to describe." Cinnamon and sugar blended with the cloves in the air.

"So why did you think the dog was a man?"

"I didn't. Not that night. The next morning I finally heard the search party. I found out later that they'd been looking for me all night. When I heard Mom's voice I ran off, forgetting about the dog. I was halfway to the voices when I remembered the nice doggy and went back to say good-bye. But when I got there… "

"It was gone?"

"Sort of. I saw a bright flash of light and then saw a man— a naked Hispanic man with long black hair. He dropped to his hands and knees and collapsed on the forest floor. I tried to wake him but he was unconscious.

My brows raised. Maybe she really had seen one of us.

"I knew," she continued, "that I'd get in trouble for being with a strange man a lot more than a strange dog. Somehow I knew that he was the dog. But my folks were calling. I left Jessica with the man so he wouldn't get lonely. I've never told anyone about that night."

I smiled and she stared at the water, looking shy. "That was sweet of you. But I doubt he'll remember you. Not if he's like me."

"What else could I do? I was four."

"So, what did you do with me after I started to stalk you?"

Cloves dusted the steam once more. She warmed to the new subject. "I decided that you wanted raw meat, not cooked. Even rare is cooked. So I went downstairs and snuck into the kitchen." She started to grin, "And I found the perfect meal."

"What did I have for dinner? I don't exactly recall."

"I told you! Turkey! There was a nearly raw turkey in the oven. It was bloody and warm, hardly cooked at all. I put it on a silver platter and covered it with one of those domes and snuck back into the elevator. I should have taken a cart. I almost dropped it twice. It weighed, like, twenty pounds and once it started to bleed, it got really slippery on the tray. Nobody saw, thank God."

I nodded admiringly. Impressive.

She smiled. "You were so cute!" That made me frown. I don't like to be thought of as cute.

"I put the platter on the floor next to the bedroom. I opened the door just a bit then backed up. You looked at me first, then the turkey. You were real suspicious. You sniffed it a couple of times and then picked it up in your mouth and came here into the bathroom with it. I followed you to see what you would do. You jumped into the bathtub, lay down, and ate the bird. Bones and all. Hardly left a scrap."

Damn! No wonder I wasn't hungry. Twenty pounds of turkey had better fill me up!

"Thank you." I'd only say it once.

"After I fed you, you were real nice. I took the flowers out of that big bowl on the coffee table and filled it up with water. You drank almost all of it. I sat down and stayed on the couch so you'd have room to move around. But you jumped up on the recliner and just watched me. Like you're doing now. Interested in me. I've never had that. So I kept talking and you listened. I got a lot out of my system. I appreciate it."

She blushed and it reddened not only her face but her neck and chest, as well. "I'm sort of glad you don't remember some of the stuff I said."

"Now I'm sorry I missed it." My smile was genuine.

I looked at her; really looked at her. Her hair was wet and tangled and her face was still blushing. Our eyes locked and the flustered smile on her face slowly slid away, replaced by nervous anticipation. The sultry musk that rose from her was stronger now. The scent of her desire filled me completely.

The soft lighting in the bath turned her eyes an even deeper green. She wasn't stunning, but she was pretty, even without makeup. Her eyes went dark and bottomless while I stared into them. Like earlier, the wolf roared to the surface. Before I could stop myself I leaned over and kissed her. It started slow, like last time, but deepened and grew. I snaked a hand behind her head to pull her closer. The tingles where our lips touched nearly scalded but it didn't hurt. It felt incredibly good. I couldn't breathe past the sensations that engulfed me.

My other hand slipped into the water and I helped the towel float away. I stroked a hand down her naked body and she made little noises in the back of her throat. I tried again to remind myself that she was off limits but my body didn't care. It hungered for something that has no name, something beyond logic right at the edge of sanity.

I pulled back and asked for a third time, whispered it into her mouth because I needed to know. "Why do you want to die, Sue?"

She answered this time. Maybe the time she spent talking to my wolf form allowed her to come up with the answer. "To deny them. To escape everybody that has used me."

She gave a harsh laugh. "I've worked when I was delirious with fever; worked when there was no pay, no thanks.There's never any appreciation. Never a reward. I keep setting aside my own dreams for someone else's. Even the money isn't a reward. It's a curse." A single tear caught the light in flashes as it rolled slowly down her cheek.

"I've been drained of everything independent and useful by a bitter, hateful family. I've been used and used until I'm all used up. I have nothing left to give and it will only keep hurting to give more. It will only end when I'm gone. Because I can't stop them. I can't escape them. I don't know any other way."

"You're wrong. You could escape them," I said strongly. A rotten family is no reason to die. "Set up a trust. Disappear in the night. Go to Argentina, Brazil— even Switzerland. You can buy a new identity and be someone else."

She shook her head again. "They'd find me. They would spend all the money and they would track me until the day I died to get the rest. So I have to die."

The next words were whispered with eyes closed. Her voice trembled. "But I'm not even strong enough to do it myself. I figured if I hired someone and paid them it would just happen. Sometime when I wasn't looking." More tears joined the first. They flowed down her cheeks unchecked. I ran fingers through her hair and wiped the tears away with the back of my hand. She shuddered from the electricity as our skin touched.

"Why don't you pay me to hit her instead? Then you could go on."

She smiled but shook her head. "Because she's family, and no matter how bad they screw up, you stand by them. Remember? I can't kill her but I can eliminate myself. Then she'll be forced to move on. Be forced to grow up. I know she's lonely and scared of being by herself. But I can't give any more of me. There's no more to give. She's made me bitter and cynical and not able to love or be loved. I hate her for that. I hate them all." Peppers, strong enough to burn my eyes, made me believe it.

"And I hate myself for allowing it." She shook her head sadly. I couldn't smell the sorrow over the fog-filled room but I knew it was there. "If all that's left inside of me is hate then I don't want to live. I'd rather die."