Hunting Lila (22 page)

In the ten seconds it took for the call to connect, I held my breath, drawing my knees to my chest. My eyes didn’t leave Alex’s back.

‘Hey, Jack – no, listen, listen. Yes, no, don’t worry – she’s here – OK, here . . .’ He turned and held the phone out to me. ‘Tell him you’re all right.’

I clutched the phone. ‘Hi, Jack, it’s me.’

‘Jesus, Lila, where the hell are you? Are you OK? Where have you been?’

‘Er—’

Alex snatched the receiver back and I was grateful. I hadn’t been sure where to begin on that one.

‘We’re fine,’ I heard Alex say. ‘No. I can explain. It wasn’t Demos. We’re not with them.’ There was a pause.

‘Flank two.’

Flank what?

‘Seriously. They came to the house. I had to get her away and I couldn’t take her to the base. It wasn’t safe – the alarm – yes, I know. OK – how close are you?’

My breathing caught like it was snagged on barbed wire.

‘Right. Good. That’s good. Keep on them. Keep them south.’

Another pause. I could hear Jack’s voice getting louder.

‘The truck? Yeah, that was the idea. I’ll explain when I see you. The car? Yeah, I’ll explain that later too . . . No. No. It’s fine.’

Uh-oh.

‘No, I think it’s best we stay as far away from San Diego and the base as possible. Can you meet us? Alone. You need to come alone – any more of you and they’ll suspect something. You come alone and let the Unit take care of business. I’m serious, Jack. Don’t even tell them where you’re going. Demos is getting intel from the inside. I can’t tell you over the phone.’

Alex dropped his voice, shouldering me out. ‘I need to talk to you face-to-face.’

There was a hugely long pause and I started to fidget. Alex’s shoulders were tensing, I could see that even from behind. He was running his hand over his close-cropped hair. I remembered how it had felt; soft, like dandelion quills. Wow, I really needed to focus.

‘Just her passport. And some papers for you and me.’

Both of them?

‘When’s the earliest you can meet us?’

‘OK. Eight a.m. Near Palm Springs. I’ll call you and tell you where to go.’

I glanced at the clock. It was flashing 23.13.

Alex hung up and turned to me. My face was expectant. His lips were pursed.

‘What did he say about Demos?’

‘As Key said, they’re in San Diego, the Unit are on them. They thought Demos had us both. It caused a major panic. The whole Unit deployed after them.’

‘But I thought you said they wouldn’t do anything if anyone from the Unit got taken?’

‘It’s not about me,’ he said, looking at me pointedly.

I continued staring at him.

Alex carried on, ‘He wanted to know about the car.’

I bet. I didn’t want to be nearby when Alex told him the truth about that.

‘And flank two?’ I asked. ‘What does that mean?’

He smiled. ‘Just a code word, to let him know we’re not under duress.’

‘Why did you say Demos was getting intel from the inside?’

‘So he wouldn’t tell anyone what he was doing and would come alone.’

Oh.

I frowned. ‘So we’re meeting Jack tomorrow?’ It felt suddenly like the night before an exam. I was sweating fear. ‘Are you sure we have to tell him? I’m not so—’

‘Yes, we have to tell him.’

I glared at him. ‘Why?’

‘For lots of reasons. Mainly because I need him to know the truth.’

‘What about me? I don’t want him to know the truth. Does that count? Don’t I get a say in this?’

‘Lila, it’ll be fine. It’s Jack. I’ll talk to him – he needs to know.’ Alex was deploying the tone he usually used to defuse situations, soft and smooth and stomach-flipping.

Great. Well, I hoped wherever we were going was in public so Jack couldn’t do anything to me without witnesses.

Alex seemed subdued once more, wrapped up in his thoughts, and I wondered whether they were about how to tell Jack about my ability without him killing or containing me.

‘Come on, let’s both get some sleep while we can. We need to be up before dawn – I need to steal another car.’

He crossed to the second bed and flopped onto it, pushing his gun half under the pillow with his hand resting on it. He was on his side, his eyes already closed.

I stood stranded, knowing I needed to go and lie down on the other bed but wanting so much to crawl into his bed and curl up against him.

‘Can I sleep with you?’ I asked. My hand flew to my mouth. It had just come out. A bit like my ability just came out when I was tired or otherwise emotional.

Alex opened one eye and gave me a long, guarded look but then finally he lifted his arm and I went and slid under it.

I was lying on my side and Alex’s arm was wound tight around me, the weight of it across my waist and hip. I opened my eyes a crack and saw his hand on the sheet in front of me, the gun cradled in his palm still. I could feel the warmth of his chest radiating against my back, although he wasn’t pressed against me – there must have been a centimetre of two of space between us – and I fought hard against the temptation to nudge myself back and close the distance. I concentrated on keeping my breathing steady.

I turned slowly, shifting my weight, trying not to wake him, I didn’t want to risk having him remove his arm or twist away from me. Once I was lying on my back, his bare arm fell across my stomach. I glanced through my lashes. Alex in sleep was even more beautiful to look at than awake. I had never been quite this close to him before, or seen him asleep. Sleepovers at seven didn’t count. And then he’d been in the top bunk.

I was glad my arms were bound by the dead weight of his arm because otherwise I would have moved my hand right now to stroke his face, trace his eyelashes, follow the line of his lips. I tried very hard to still my frayed breathing. His body seemed to tense for a second, then relaxed again. His breathing stayed even and I stayed staring at his lips thinking about what they’d feel like if I moved an inch and pressed mine to them. It really was like leaving a feast in front of a starving man. I even began licking my lips in anticipation.

Then suddenly Alex’s eyes were open. One second he’d been sleeping and the next his blue eyes were boring into mine. I drew in a breath. We stared at each other in the closing gloom of the room. I was lost. Gone. No hope. I could feel my heart stammering jagged beats and was sure he could hear it too.

Then, just like that, Alex moved his arm from my waist. Where the weight had been was now just empty space. I felt unfettered, like I might float up to the ceiling. I waited for him to roll away but, very slowly, very gently, he laid his hand on my cheek, his thumb near the corner of my mouth. If I’d thought his arm across my waist was electric, this was like shock therapy. My brain went blank, just aware of an intense pulsing beat in my cheek. He kept his eyes on mine, his gaze unblinking, and I stared right back into the blue. He moved almost imperceptibly and in the space between a heartbeat his lips touched mine.

The whole world opened up. It was like it exploded, drawing me down into a black hole where nothing was solid or real anymore. I felt boneless, weightless, free. Lights were beginning to flash in my head. Probably from the lack of oxygen. I had a desperate urge to feel Alex’s skin against mine. All those times he’d been within reaching distance and I’d not been allowed to touch him, all those hours I’d daydreamed through lessons about being this close to him – I was making up for them all now – and then some.

The real thing was so much better than all those daydreams, infinitely, incredibly better. My hands slid up under Alex’s T-shirt. It was such an overwhelming desire I couldn’t have stopped myself if I’d tried. The T-shirt was lifting without me even touching it. Wonderful, useful power, I thought. And then my fingers were against the warm flatness of his stomach. I could feel the ridges of muscle beneath my hands and I heard my breathing pick up a pace.

Then Alex froze, his hand suddenly gripping my wrist, and he started tugging it away.

I opened my eyes. The flashing lights hadn’t been a figment of my imagination or due to lack of oxygen. The room light was blinking on and off repeatedly. It stopped as soon as I noticed, leaving us in darkness, with just the dim light from the street shining through the crack in the curtains.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, letting go of my wrist and rolling away from me.

His words spun around me, pinging off my skull, my brain disconnected, the synapses still firing around other parts of my body. I felt the flames flicker out.

Alex sat up and swung his feet to the floor, putting his back to me. I drew myself onto my knees and tried to shake the feeling back into my body.

‘Why are you sorry?’ I asked in a shaking voice. My hand hovered over his shoulder, too uncertain to close the distance and touch him.

Alex stood up and walked away. ‘Lila, this is not right.’

Not right? Was he kidding? It was so right. So, so, so right.

‘What are you saying? I don’t understand. Is this about my ability?’

He’d stopped kissing me because of the light. I could see how it might be a little off-putting, but it wasn’t like I’d fired his gun at the ceiling rodeo-style.

Alex whipped around. ‘No. Don’t ever think that. It’s nothing to do with that. Whatever you can do, whatever ability you have, you’re still Lila. It’s part of you – who you are. And I wouldn’t change anything about you – other than maybe your proclivity for running off,’ he added as an afterthought.

My hand dropped. I swallowed hard. Then reached forward slowly to take his hand. He stepped back out of range and panic started to weave through my limbs like poison, deadening them. Without looking at me he walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I heard the sound of the lock turning.

I sat on the raft of the bed wondering which way to paddle to safety. My hand was pressed to my lips. I was trying to commit to memory the pressure of his lips, the way he’d tasted. I stared at the bathroom door speechless, my brain trying to compute what had just happened.

About five minutes later he came out. He avoided making eye contact and glanced at his watch. ‘We may as well get going while it’s still dark.’ He moved to the chair in the corner and started rummaging around in the bag.

I stared at him, my mouth half open. That was it? That was all he had to say? I looked down at the bedcover, rucked up under my feet. At least when there was rage and anger I had known where I stood – more or less. Now I was sinking, not knowing what to think. We had just kissed, hadn’t we? That had happened, hadn’t it?

The sound of a zipper closing made me look up. Alex was throwing the bag over his shoulder. I watched as he pushed his gun down the back of his jeans. He glanced up at me and I was sure I detected a faint flare of embarrassment. He grabbed the keys and jerked his head towards the door. ‘Ready?’

I stumbled off the bed feeling woozy and slipped on my shoes. My face was burning, my breathing still haphazard, my lips on fire. I could feel my emotions starting to flare. I couldn’t understand why he was ignoring what had happened and I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. How did people do this? I had no clue what the protocol was. Was he embarassed because I was Jack’s sister? Was he disgusted by me? No, I couldn’t believe it. There had been no disgust in that kiss. So what else was it? Guilt, maybe? Because I was Jack’s sister?

Oh no. Rachel. Of course. How on earth had I managed to forget about her? Selective amnesia, obviously. Or just complete denial.

The bag Alex was holding suddenly slam-dunked into the bed. I bit my bottom lip and looked at him wide-eyed, waiting for his reaction. He was looking at the bag in bewildered shock. Then he looked over at me with disbelief painted on his face.
Eeek.
He looked back at the bag, lying on its side by the foot of the bed. I guessed it was lucky Rachel wasn’t actually there in the room because, for sure, furniture would have been flying, not just a bag.

‘Did you just do that?’ His voice was calm.

‘Um. Maybe.’

‘Lila?’

It was just like the time I got called to the headmistress’s office about the flying jam roly-poly.

‘Yes. OK. I did it. It was an accident. I told you, sometimes it just happens.’

‘Like the scissors?’

Crap. ‘Yes.’

He nodded his head slowly. ‘I see.’ He looked up at me now and I felt a cramp of butterflies. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have taught you how to take the safety off a gun. Do I need to watch my back?’

He gave me a little smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He was trying to joke but I didn’t feel like it. I was mad at him. Why had he kissed me if he liked Rachel?

‘Why are you here with me?’

‘Excuse me?’ He looked properly confused. ‘I thought I’d answered that one.’

‘I mean,’ I continued, my voice rising, ‘why are you here with me when clearly you would rather be with Rachel?’ I didn’t really mean here. I meant why was he kissing me if, he had a thing going on with
I’m the boss don’t mess with me
Barbie?

‘Rachel?’ He looked really confused now.

‘Yes. Rachel. Why don’t you go back to her? You have a choice. You don’t need to be here with me.’ I sounded so jealous and ridiculous. I wanted to slam-dunk myself with the bag and knock myself out.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

Oh, he agreed with me about the ridiculousness. Great. I turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears of anger that were starting to prick behind my eyes.

‘You think I like Rachel?’ Alex said to my back. He sounded surprised.

I turned around, suddenly furious that he was making me spell it out. ‘You went on a date with her, didn’t you?’ I was thinking about the restaurant we’d been to for Alex’s birthday, but Alex seemed to be drawing a blank. He was frowning. ‘I saw you in the bar,’ I added, ‘I saw you laughing and joking with her. So, why are you here with me?’

Suddenly the penny seemed to drop. I could see the moment of realisation and then his face turned serious. He brought his hands to my shoulders and this time I didn’t try to dodge them, they weighed me down like a diver’s belt.