Husband for Hire (14 page)

He stopped, taking a minute to collect his thoughts. “Even shown proof of that, my patient couldn't get past the fact she would never be able to have a second child, and the child she has will probably require care for the rest of her life.”

He looked away from the sympathy that had crept into Becca's face. “What most people don't understand is how much anguish we go through any time we're sued. Even when we know we've done no harm, which is our sworn oath.”

“Is this the source of your nightmares?”

“How I feel doesn't matter. The end result for that mother and daughter is all that counts. That mother thinks of me every time she looks at her daughter. Nothing will ever be normal for her. It crushes me, her pain.”

“Are you returning to your practice?”

He scrubbed his face with his hands. “I've been tormented by doubt for months, but helping that young woman today made me remember how much I love my work, how much it's defined me. It's what I'm trained to do and what I'm good at.”

“Is that a roundabout way of saying yes?”

“Yes. I think it'll help me to move on, too, even though I'll never shut it out completely.”

“I'm sorry you went through that, Gavin.”

“Thank you.” He tried to smile. “You probably want to know why I didn't tell you all this.”

“I knew you were keeping things from me, and now I feel pretty foolish for questioning you about work. You had a hundred opportunities to tell me. I've been an open book with you. You know I've deceived my brothers and my coworkers. You know all my failures and flaws.”

“I see you as a human being, Becca. I know what you perceive are your failures and flaws, but I also know your successes and strengths. I admire you. I fought helping you at first because so much mud was flung at me at the malpractice hearing, so many twists to the truth that I didn't want to be involved in any more lies, period. Ultimately I said yes not only because I felt sympathy for your position, but because I needed to be needed. You gave me purpose.”

She hadn't taken her eyes off him, but her expression was indecipherable. He'd gotten to know what she was feeling, based on her expression. Now she'd drawn a curtain.

Her fingers were linked in her lap, her skin gone white.

“You said your first oath as a doctor is to do no harm. Well, as a human being, you harmed, Gavin. You know everything important about me, and I don't know you at all. I feel naive and used,” she said, her voice unsteady.

“I humbly apologize. If I could go back, I'd do it differently.”

“You know, we wouldn't have worked anyway, Gavin,” Becca said with a sigh. “We've never talked about it directly, but you want the things I don't— marriage and children. We let sex blind us.”

He didn't have a response to that. They did want different things, but were they really impossible? Minds did change sometimes.

After a moment she stood. Pancho went on alert.

“I have to leave now,” she said. “I figure you know enough people who would give you a ride back to Sacramento.”

Gavin stood, too. “I wish you wouldn't go.”

“I have to figure out a way to tell my brothers and my friends that I lied to them. I don't blame you for that, by the way. That was my doing. And maybe I'm angrier at myself than you. I don't know. But just looking at you reminds me of it. I can't imagine what Eric is going to say. I'm so grateful he flew home yesterday. I need some time.”

“I think he may surprise you. He really hadn't
understood how much he's smothered you.”
In his effort to try to save you from yourself, Becca.
But that was for her and Eric to come to terms with.

“Yeah, well, apparently I've needed smothering, which didn't help, after all, either. But here's my point. I never lied to
you.
Everything I said and did was real. You can't say the same. Goodbye, Gavin.”

She went down the stairs. Pancho followed her. She stopped, looked at him, then at Gavin. “The marriage may be over, but it looks like we've got a custody issue here.”

“Take him.” He figured she needed him more.

Pancho was a symbol of something for her. Gavin wasn't sure what yet. “I'll go get his things.”

But just then Pancho looked at Gavin and took a couple of steps toward him.

“What now?” she asked. “Neither one of us has any right to keep him, you know. He deserves better than a workaholic owner.”

“I don't intend to be that person anymore. And I'm optimistic that you won't be, either. I hope it's the lesson we take from all this, Becca. A hard, but good lesson.”

She studied his face for a few seconds, then went on to her car. She opened the back door. Pancho made a move toward her then slowed. Then he sat. She started to get in her car then went back to the dog and hugged him.

“Goodbye, pooch. Have a good life.”

Gavin thought she was talking to
him
as much as to the dog.

“Same to you,” he whispered as she drove off.

Pancho met him on the porch, looking sad, not accusatory, as Gavin might have thought. Poor dog. He'd lost his owner, and now his friend.

“Looks like it's you and me. Is that okay with you?”

Pancho barked, and they headed into the house. The empty house that just this morning was teeming with laughter and sweet lovemaking.

He didn't think he could stay there without her, so he pulled out his phone and called the one person he could talk to, then waited to be picked up.

In the meantime he started creating a plan. A life plan. Starting here, starting now.

H
er loft was too perfect, Becca decided as she burrowed into her sofa wrapped in her fleecy robe, her feet on the coffee table, alternately digging crackers out of a box and sipping Chardonnay. All the healthy food had gone to the cabin with them or been eaten by Eric, and she hadn't gone shopping yet. It'd only been three days since she'd walked away from Gavin.

She hadn't been able to rouse herself enough to leave her home, had lived on what little was left in her cupboards, supplemented with pizza delivery.

She was sick of pizza.

Tomorrow she would have to go back to work.

Until then she planned to continue to wallow.

The television had been on since she'd walked in
the door Thursday afternoon. She'd watched mostly old movies that made her cry, even the comedies.

She hadn't slept in her bed, in fact, couldn't. She'd stripped the sheets and washed them but hadn't put them back on. She'd turned her living room into her sanctuary.

Their wedding bands lay on the coffee table, small, circular neon reminders of what could have been.

He'd put them in her suitcase in case they'd needed them during the trip but hadn't worn them. She had to get them back to him.

Of course there was the small matter to consider of not having his address. She'd fallen in love with him, made love with him, had given him her trust and didn't even know where he lived.

If that wasn't a sign of how blind she'd been…

Blind and stupid.

She missed Pancho, too. His unconditional love.

The trust that had grown between them.

She hadn't called Eric yet, was debating about flying to New York to speak with him in person. She didn't want to tell anyone at work until Eric knew, so she had to seem honeymoon happy tomorrow, even with Suki. Becca had done enough pretending. Facing more of it seemed too daunting.

Her cell phone rang. She looked at the caller ID, saw it was Eric, ordered herself to buck up and said hello.

“I was hoping I'd catch you,” he said. “Are
you home? On the road? At the cabin still? How was it?”

“Home. The cabin was fabulous, Eric. A gem. And the countryside was spectacular. Thank you again. It was a generous gift.” She closed her eyes, prepared herself to tell him—

“I'm coming to Sacramento on Wednesday,” he said. “I'll be house hunting.”

Becca's throat closed. She'd gotten another reprieve. She would wait to tell him in person, take the lecture she was sure he would give her like the adult she'd been trying to convince him she was. He'd never believe that now.

“That's great,” she managed to say. “You can stay here.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I won't intrude on you newlyweds.”

“Gavin…Gavin won't be here. Please stay with me, Eric.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You sound, I don't know, stressed?”

“I'm good. Everything's okay.” Yet another lie. “I can't wait to see you.” Which was the truth. Or at least until she had to face him.

They talked a little longer, then within seconds after they hung up, her phone rang again. She answered it without looking at the ID, figuring Eric had forgotten something.

“Hi, Becca.” It was Gavin. “I'm sorry to bother you,” he said when she didn't speak. She didn't know what to say.

“It's fine.”

“Good. Um, I need to return the rings to the jeweler.”

“I have them.”
I've been staring at them for days.

They've been my touchstone for staying mad at you.

“Can I come up? I'm in your parking garage picking up my car.”

“Did you stay at the cabin until now?” How could he? It was their honeymoon place, their love nest, their—

“I stayed in Chance City, yes. Can I come up?” he repeated.

There was no way she was going to let him see her wallowing, her hair a mess, unshowered, wearing her old bathrobe. “I'll put them outside my door for you.”

“Becca—”

“I don't want to see you, Gavin.”
I hurt too much.

“Or Pancho?”

“You're keeping him for sure?”

“He's pretty much glued himself to me. I've… needed him, too. To get by. I miss you, Becca.”

Crap.
Tears welled, hot and burning. “I'm putting the rings outside right now.” She hung up, not even
saying goodbye, because she couldn't get the word out. She'd already done that once.

Becca scooped up the rings, opened her front door and set them outside. She held vigil at the peephole, making sure no one else came along. After a minute he approached, Pancho trotting next to him. He paused at the door, stooped down, then stood. He didn't walk away. He set his hand against the door, waiting. He could've spoken and she would've heard him, but he didn't.

Finally, he walked away, saying, “Come on, boy.”

And Becca turned her back to the door, crumpled to the ground and cried.

How could she still love him after what he'd done?

He was in pain, Becca. He told you the agony he'd been through. Have a heart.

I do have a heart, and it's broken.

Imagine how he feels. He pretty much told you he felt the same.

Without stopping to debate, she pulled open the door but he was already gone. She couldn't go after him like this.

Fate, she decided. It wasn't meant to be.

Time to move on.

 

Chip called a meeting of the cofounders first thing Monday morning. Everyone wondered aloud what was going on. They usually met midafternoon. Becca
was glad. There hadn't been time to be teased about her honeymoon, hadn't had to evade. She would tell them after she'd told Eric. Period.

Chip strode in and took his place at the head of the table. “Good morning, everyone. I've got news. Crandall Computing has made an offer to buy us out.”

He let everyone react before continuing. Becca kept her eyes on Chip, trying to gauge how he felt about it. He wasn't an openly emotional man, so it was hard to judge.

“Only the six of us have votes in this decision.” He wrote a huge number with lots of zeroes on the whiteboard next to him. “Here's the offer. On top of that, we're all guaranteed jobs, although probably not the same ones for everyone. I'd be going in as a VP. Becca, your position would change, too, since they already have a VP of operations, but your negotiating experience is something they're keen on.”

She could barely take it all in. She was already running on empty. Then to add this to it—

“As you probably know,” Chip went on, “Crandall's located in the Silicon Valley. Corporate headquarters is in Palo Alto. Obviously it's going to require a move, since it's about ninety miles from here. Becca, I know you just bought your place, and you'll probably factor that in. The rest of us haven't gotten around to buying, so the move's easier in that sense. Initial reactions, everyone?”

“Is that deal a six-way split?” Morgan asked.

“Almost. If any of our employees wants to make the move, I'd like to help them do that. It's expensive. There will be closing costs here. So, probably about a seven-way split. It's still a helluva lot of money.”

“I'm game,” Jacob said. “Closer to San Francisco. It's, what, about thirty miles or so?”

“How did this deal happen?” Becca asked, finding her voice. Thirty miles to San Francisco, instead of eighty from Sacramento? Would it make a difference? Could she and Gavin—

She couldn't think about that. She had to make decisions based on what was good for her, only her.

“Greg Crandall called me yesterday at home. I didn't approach him, if that's what you're asking. You know what the company is worth now, and it's because we've put a lot of hard work into it. We're being rewarded. We lived on little for a long time to get to this point.”

“Is this something you want to do?” Becca asked.

“Yes. But I welcome any and all debate. I'm sure you'll think of reasons why or why not that I haven't.”

Fifteen minutes later they unanimously agreed to the deal. They may not own their own business anymore, but they had the financial security to make their own choices—the American dream come true for six thirty-year-olds who'd started with an innovative idea then made it happen.

“Let's go get breakfast,” Becca said to Suki as
they left the conference room. “I'm too keyed up to work.”

The café was only a block away. It felt good to be outdoors in the beautiful May morning.

“Unbelievable, huh?” Suki said after they'd been served coffee and placed their orders. Becca missed Gavin fixing her breakfast, making her eat and take a moment before she rushed to work.

She missed Gavin, period.

“Unbelievable,” Becca agreed.

“We're rich, Bec.”

“If we're careful with it. Are you going to move? Take a job there?”

“Absolutely. How about you?”

Becca sipped her coffee as she considered her answer. “I want to know more about the job. And, you know, I just got my loft looking good. Plus Eric's decided to move to Sacramento. I'd like to have family close by for a change. It's a big decision.” One she wouldn't rush to make.

“So what happened with Gavin, can I ask? You've been so quiet. Did you really go away with him last week?”

“Yes. I fell for him, Suki. Hard.” It felt surprisingly good to say it out loud. “Get this. He really is a doctor.”

Suki gasped then laughed, and the mood lightened considerably.

“You never looked him up on Google, Becca? You?”

“I know. Crazy, huh?”

They lingered over breakfast, enjoying their first time alone in a couple of weeks before they returned to the office, where the news wouldn't be shared with the staffers until the deal was done.

The next day, Tuesday, the six partners drove to Palo Alto to discuss job particulars. The ride back to Sacramento was surprisingly quiet as each of them mulled over their own decisions of whether to move or not. They'd promised the people at Crandall they'd have answers by the end of the week. In the meantime, there was still work to be done and they did it.

Then Wednesday Becca left work early, at five-thirty. Eric was supposed to arrive by seven, and she needed to clean up the house. She took the elevator up, turned the corner of her hallway and saw him sitting on the floor by her door, waiting.

“Why didn't you call?” she asked.

It wasn't Eric but Gavin. Waiting. Just like when they first met.

Then a dog came charging at her. Pancho jumped up on her and danced around her on his hind legs. Becca took a minute to greet him, to steady herself.

Gavin stood. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He looked good. Great, in fact. Rested.

“I didn't call because I wasn't sure you would see me, and I really needed to see you.”

“I thought you were Eric,” she said, putting her
key in the door, feeling him near her. She'd missed him so much. So very much. “He's supposed to be here tonight. He's coming to house hunt.”

Pancho ran past both of them and went on the hunt, sniffing everything, checking out every room in record time then returning to be petted. He seemed to be grinning, which made her laugh.

“Thank you for letting me in,” Gavin said. “There are some things that I need to say.”

“Me, too.” They sat on the couch at opposite ends. Pancho curled up under her coffee table. “Can I go first?”

“Sure.”

“I've given your…situation a lot of thought, Gavin. In fact, I've thought of little else, and believe me, there's been plenty else I should've been making decisions about. Instead I've been in full avoidance mode. I got it finally. I understand why you kept things from me. Maybe not that you kept me in the dark for the whole time, but certainly at the beginning. I think you should've trusted me by the time we got to the cabin, but I keep trying to look at it through your eyes.”

“Believe me, I can see it from your side, Becca.”

She finally noticed he'd gotten his hair cut, although not too much. Because she liked it longer?

“You look really good, Gavin. You've always been pretty calm, but this is different. This is something else. You seem at peace.”

He smiled. “I've been having flying dreams.”

“I take it that's a good thing.”

“Yes.”

Her heart warmed at his words, at his obvious peace. She reached over and touched his hand. Just like the first time, electricity sizzled between them. She pulled back reluctantly.

“What's changed for you?” she asked.

“I've accepted a new job. I'm going to replace Doc Saxon in Chance City.”

Nothing could've surprised her more. Nothing. Just when she'd thought she was moving to Palo Alto to be geographically closer to him. “What brought that on?”

“Doc's seventy-three. He's been wanting to retire for a couple of years, but he couldn't find a replacement. A lot of people have been pushing me to take over, but I always laughed. I had a practice in San Francisco. I loved the city life. My parents were in Chance City, and they were part of the reason I left.”

“So, what's different?”

“Me. Because of you.”

Her heart began to pound. He slid closer to her. “In trying to help you find a slower pace, to enjoy life more, I found it for myself. I don't want that hectic life anymore, with the long hours and little time for fun.”

He hadn't said the words yet that she wanted to hear. “How do you make a move like that? You're an ob-gyn. You would be a rural family doctor.”

“Because I'm an overachiever, I did a double residency. I knew I'd end up being a primary-care doctor for a lot of my patients. I wanted to know it all.”