Hush (Black Lotus #3) (29 page)

I want to drown in it.

I want to escape from it.

I’m all over the place.

The vacancy inside of me is about to surpass my body’s elasticity, and I grow desperate to fill the void I fear will be the death of me.

I cling to Declan, slinging my leg over his hip and pulling him against me as we slip down in the bed. Drawing my head back, I look through my tears at his blurred face.

“Breathe.” His hushed voice lulls, and while he wipes the tears that continue to fall, I give myself the time I need to settle myself down.

The pounding of my heart transitions into neediness, I pull Declan’s head to mine and kiss him. He lets me control it, and I keep it soft and move slow. My lips meld with his, and he brings my body in even closer.

I feel a few lingering tears as they slip out and fall down the sides of my face and into my hair.

He rolls on top of me, parting my lips with his tongue and dipping it into my mouth. With my hands getting lost in his hair, I pull him down on me, needing to feel his weight on top of me. We continue to kiss in this new way. There’s no urgency or need for control. Declan drags his lips from mine and runs them down my neck before he breaks the kiss and looks down at me.

I gaze up at him, desperate for this closeness, and make my request.

“Show me how tender you can be.”

I know I’m asking a lot. Declan isn’t one who feels safe when he opens himself up to vulnerability, but I need this. For this moment, I need him to love me in this way—stripped down and free from the barriers he likes to keep on me.

I watch as his eyes soften, and when he gives me a nod, he drops his lips back down to mine. My hands roam freely, something he never allows because I’m always restrained. I slip them under his shirt and feel his abs flex from my touch. We undress each other slowly and soon our clothes are on the floor.

Flesh against flesh, his skin heats mine. He keeps his touches soft, taking my breasts in his hands. His breath ghosts over them and over my puckered nipples before taking one of them between his lips. He sucks lovingly and the sensation causes my back to bow off the bed and into him. My eyes fall shut, and with my hands running along the dips of his muscular arms, I release a breathy moan.

He moves to my other nipple, showing it the same affection before dragging his hot tongue down my stomach. When he reaches the curve of my pussy, he puts his hands on each thigh and spreads my legs.

“God, I love this part of you,” he whispers in a husky voice.

I move my eyes down to him and watch as he stares at my pussy. I reach both of my hands down to him and he takes them in his, lacing his fingers through mine. And before he makes his move, he lifts his eyes and fixes them to mine. We watch each other as he holds my hands and dips his tongue into the slit of my pussy. He sends a sizzling current through my whole body.

He moves painfully slow.

I spread my legs wider as he laps and kisses and sucks. Every movement softer than the one before. He groans from deep inside his chest, and when his tongue slides inside of my body, I can’t hold on. I mewl in pure ecstasy and grind myself over his face, clutching my fingers around his hands. I grow hotter as he sparks the live wire in my soul, the one that incessantly aches for him.

He moves his lips to my thighs, dropping whispery kisses over every inch of my skin as he lets go of my one hand and drags the wet arousal out from inside of me with his finger and uses it to rub my clit.

Our bodies move together and we’re unrushed, unmasked, and completely exposed.

When he finds his way back up to me, I hold his face in mine and kiss him deeply, fusing my lips with his as I glide my tongue along his. He settles himself between my legs, his hard cock pressing against me.

“I want it real slow,” I tell him.

“How slow, baby?”

“So slow I can feel you entering my soul.”

He reaches down and holds himself in his hand.

Never has the sensation been more intense than in this very moment as he pushes inside me.

It’s exquisite.

It’s torturous.

It’s effervescent bliss.

And when he’s fully immersed in me, I’m saved. Free from my cankering misery, I hold on to Declan as he fucks me in slow agonizing strokes. His moans blend with mine, our bodies coalesced like never before. Our souls tethered into one.

He flips us over and I roll my hips over his cock. He sits up and kisses my neck, my tits, my mouth while I fist my hands in his hair and rock into him. When he leans his head back, I stare into his eye as I ride his cock.

“I love you.” My words resting on broken pants.

He groans through rictus lips before reaching his hands around the backs of my shoulders and pushing me farther down on his cock. I can feel him throbbing inside of me and then he lifts me off him. Lying on my side with him behind me, he pulls my leg up and buries himself deep inside of me.

He slips his one arm under my head, and I hold his hand while he uses his other to turn my head to him. We kiss, and I reach down between my legs to feel his cock as he fucks me.

“Touch yourself.”

Taking my wetness from his dick, I move to rub my clit in slow circles, and my hips buck when I do. He drapes my hair behind my shoulder and kisses the veins on my neck, sending my body into shivers. It doesn’t take long before my pussy grows wetter and the onslaught of an orgasm begins to build inside of me.

Declan shifts to his back with me on top of him, my legs bent and feet planted on the bed, and he thrusts into me from behind. My back lies against his chest, and he’s now massaging my clit alongside my fingers. Our hands grow wet as he continues sliding himself in and out of me.

“Oh, God, Declan.”

“That’s it, baby. I want to feel you all over me.”

With my hand locked to his, I rock my hips down on him, unable to still myself and greedy for him to fill me with his cum.

“Fuck me,” I tell him, and with our fingers mingled in my pussy, he pumps his hips up into me.

My eyes fall shut as my ass slides back and forth over the top of him. Nerves begin to fissure, limbs begin to tingle. He presses his fingers down on my clit, and I rupture. He pounds his thick cock into me, driving my orgasm out of me. I writhe against him, pulling every bit of pleasure he has to give, and then I feel him cum. He groans heavily, spurting his life source inside of my body, grabbing my pussy with his hand and grinding me roughly against him.

We ride each other, taking every piece from one another that we can. My head slips off the back of his shoulder, and he kisses me deeply, our tongues tasting and licking. When he rolls us back to our sides, he pulls himself out of me, cum dripping onto my thighs as I turn over to face him.

He plants his lips on my sweaty forehead.

“Thank you.”

“I love you,” he tells me. “If this is what you need, I’ll give it to you as many times as you need it.”

We stay in bed for most of the day, naked and wrapped in each other’s arms. If I’m not sleeping, then I’m crying.

If I’m not crying, then we’re kissing and touching.

And if we’re not kissing and touching, then I’m sleeping.

The cycle laps as the hours pass. Eventually Declan takes a shower, leaving me alone with the rain that has yet to let up. With the blankets tucked around me, I feel at peace here in the hotel room with Declan and away from anything that could have the potential to hurt me.

A buzzing sound alerts me. I sit up and look around the room, unsure of what the noise is. Then, when I spot my purse on the floor next to the closet, it hits me. I slip out of the bed and dig my hand down past my wallet and grab my cell phone.

UNKNOWN
reads across the screen.

I accept the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, kitty.”

“I THOUGHT I
told you not to call me.” My voice is razor sharp, but I keep it low because Declan is in the shower.

“I wouldn’t call you if I weren’t desperate. I need your help, so it’s time you got off your high horse and remember where you came from and the people that took care of you.”

As I kneel by the wall next to the closet, I respond, “Took care of me?”

“Who helped Pike save you from your foster parents? Who drove the car? Who let you live with them?”

“Let’s get one thing straight, you were Pike’s friend, not mine.”

“Are you going to help me or not?”

“Not. Like I said, you die and I have the guarantee that I can move forward without having to look over my shoulder.”

“You’re gonna die too,” he says, his words catching me off guard.

“What are you talking about?”

“It was the only way to ensure I stay alive.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I grit as I stand.

“You think you’re running this show? Think again. You might not value my life, but I’m not willing to lose it over an uptight cunt like you.”

I try to keep my voice from quivering. “What did you do?”

“I gave them your name. Told them you had the money. So you have no choice but to help me. After all, your life is on the line too now.”

The shock and fury that surge through my veins is rampant fuel, and I’m not even thinking about keeping a hushed tone when I spit my fury. “You motherfucker!”

He laughs, saying, “Next time don’t fuck with me when I ask for help, kitty.”

I start when the bathroom door busts open and Declan rushes out with only a towel slung around his waist.

“Are you okay?” His words shoot out quickly. “Who’s on the phone?” He doesn’t wait for me to respond when he takes it right out of my hand. “Who the fuck is this?” He pauses and then holds the phone out and clicks it onto speakerphone.

“Can she hear me?” Matt questions.

“She can hear you.”

“They know you’re in Washington.”

As soon as he says those words, I reach over and end the call.

“What the fuck is going on, Elizabeth?” Declan ferociously demands.

I tell him about Matt, about his calling me when we were back in London, and about the loan shark. And then I tell him that Matt traded me in to save his life.

“There’s a bounty on my head now.”

Rage takes over Declan in a deadly way that scares the shit out of me. He stands in utter silence as he bores his eyes down on me, and when his nostrils flare angrily, he fumes in an even tone, “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“I thought I handled it. I thought it was under control.”

“You thought wrong, goddammit! And now you have a hit out on you!” His voice ricochets off the walls, his neck blotching the color red in white-hot anger.

“I’ll just pay them off, Declan,”

“You think that’ll solve this Matt situation? The ease at which he was able to dispose of your life is not something to fuck with. And what happens when he finds himself in trouble down the road? You really trust him when he says he’s going to leave you alone after this?”

Declan rips his hand through his wet hair and paces off across the room. I watch as frustration and fiery anger boil over, and I’m quick to make my resolve.

“I’ll kill him,” I say too fast and too eager.

Declan snaps his head over to me with a look of horror on his face. Maybe I should be worried about how he’ll respond or how he’ll think of me to know I can rid someone of their life so easily, but I’m not. Declan knows I have three kills under my belt. Hell, he has two himself. He knows the tar my black heart pumps. And when he speaks, I know we’re one and the same—two monsters bound by one soul.

“No,” he states. “I’ll kill him.”

“Declan, no. I can’t let you do that. Matt’s my problem.”

He strides over to me in quick steps. “I won’t let you kill anyone else, you hear me? I don’t want your hands branded by any more blood. I’ll take care of it.”

“Declan—”

“I’m not arguing with you about this. My word is final,” he states adamantly. “Pack your suitcase. They know where we are, so we’re getting the fuck out of here.”

“Are we going back to Chicago?”

“Yes. We’re taking care of this issue now and then going back to London,” he says. “But listen to me . . . Bennett’s money . . . we’re dumping it on the loan shark. Not only will we finally be rid of it, but it’ll be enough to make these people forget you ever existed.”

Taking a hard swallow, I know this is ultimately the best resolution for us. And now, once again, I’m plagued by my past, which is now forcing the man I love to take another life.

Declan’s able to schedule the plane to go out today, and with the vicissitude we now face, there’s no time for me to mourn the loss of my dad. We move with urgency, making sure our belongings are packed and ready to go before we head out.

We sit hand in hand during the plane ride.

“Declan, you don’t have to do this.”

“It’s not up for discussion.”

The plane lands and we drive straight back to Lotus. Every step Declan takes is purposeful, wasting not a second.

Tension is ghastly as I watch Declan take out the pistol he always travels with. He releases the cylinder and gives it a look before spinning it and locking it back in place.

“Declan?”