i 51ddca29df3edad1 (20 page)

She laughed and looking upwards as they walked towards the door, flanked on each side by glassless windows, she said, "Before you start thinking of boiled oil it would pay you better

to concentrate on siaics, wiLt"; " "---- , " All in good time, all in good time. " He pushed her gently up two worn wooden steps and into a hallway, where, in spite of the ventilation coming through the windows, the smell of dry rot met them. The hall, about thirty feet long, had once been half-panelled but all that remained of the original wood were odd pieces which were pegged to the crossbars and had resisted being wrenched off by marauders. A wide flight of stairs, as worn as the outside steps, mounted from the end of the room upwards, and the daylight from a gap in the roof showed the broken balustrade that had once graced the narrow gallery.

It was with something of secret despair that Janet looked about her.

She still thought her son stark, staring mad to saddle himself with a two thousand pound mortgage for this wreck of a place standing on a piece of barren land. No doubt, once it had been a beautiful house, but it had been empty when she was a child thirty years ago. She remembered her mother and father walking her out here one Sunday and they picnicked on the hill behind the house, and she in her turn had brought Robbie here. And that was a mistake, for the first ride he took on his second-hand bicycle had been to Scarfield Mill. She didn't know why the house was called a mill for there was no sign of a mill within miles. The only prominent feature on the landscape, and that could only been seen from the hill behind the house, was the pit head It was a desolate enough place in summer, God knew what it would be like in winter. Up to now everything her lad had touched had turned to money, but she could only see this place eating money, it would take thousands and thousands to put it into shape. When she had put this to him, all he said was, "I've got plans," and she hadn't pressed to know what they were because, whereas he could be as open as the fells he could also be as close as a clam.

She walked across the hall and through a door into what had once been the kitchen. Now it hadn't even the usual iron stove to which it could lay claim; that had been ripped out, as had most of the piping. She saw the task ahead as so formidable that she turned a distressed face to Robbie.

"I can't help it," she said, 'but the more I look at it the more hopeless it seems. Why, as I said in the first place, you could have got a nice bungalow

lui just. a un mure ir you wanted to get away from Baker Street so badly . " The look on his face checked her voice now and when he stared at her blankly she ended, " I can't help feeling like this about it. Where are you going to get the money to make this habitable, eh?

Where? "

He still continued to stare at her, then with a swift jerky movement characteristic of him he grabbed her hand and pulled her forward through the back door, across a paved yard thick with weed and grass, over a mouldering gate Iving where it- had once hung, across a narrow field, and up a steep incline, and having arrived at the brow of the hill, he commanded sharply, "Sit down."

She was gasping and half laughing as she obeyed him. Then dropping on to his hunkers by her side, he pointed down to the house, saying slowly and thickly, "From the first time I saw that house I've hated Baker Street." As he watched_ her face stretch in genuine surprise he said,

"Aye, that's news to you," then went on, "I must have been about twelve when I vowed that one day I'd have a place like this, some place worthy of the mezuzah on the door, but as I grew older I knew that even with things going well I'd have to wait ten, fifteen years or more before that dream could come true, unless I joined the fiddles, an' I could have an' all." He inclined his head towards her.

"I've been tapped more than once, but you know me, I never liked little rooms."

She ignored his grin and his jest and said, "But it's going to take you a lifetime to get this place to rights; and how can you do the buying, see to the shop, and do this an' all, all on your own? It's impossible."

He looked away from her and down on to the broken roofs of the house that was now his, and he said slowly, "I don't intend to do it on me own."

"What!"

He slanted his eyes at her.

"You heard what I said, I don't intend to do it on me own."

"You've got somebody to help you?"

"Yes, just that. In two months' time I'll have somebody to help me."

"NO, Robbie I No!" She was on her feet staring down at mm, ner lips pres sea logcuici, n'-i "'-"

"6-" > --- --- "

"r at her and asked harshly, Where's he going to go then when he comes out? Have you asked yourself that? He wouldn t come back to Baker Street; he knew he was putting us out for the few nights he was there.

It'il be a room in some grubby back street until he gets started, and God knows when that'll be in this town. The only chance for him is to move away . and you don't want that, do you? " His last words were slow and emphatic, and Janet stared back into his eyes but made no answer. When her face began to work he got to his feet and said, "

Look. I know how things are with you; I've always known. "

"Be quiet, Robbie."

"I'll not be quiet. I'm not a kid, I'm not even a young fella, I've never been a young fella, I somehow skipped that stage, I'm a man.

I've always had to think as a man because I've had to think for you, so I know how things 'we been, an' not only the day or yesterday, but for years back. "

When she turned from him and stared away over the sloping land he said,

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, woman. And it's funny but I've never been jealous of him, just the opposite. Somehow I've always looked on him as a sort of father. I think it's because he started me up with that ten quid. An' what's more I knew years ago why you went to the house to help, not for the money but just because he was ..."

"Robbie!" Her voice was deep and pain-filled, and he drooped his head for a moment against the sound of it. Then his chin was up again and he said, "I've got it all worked out if you'll only listen. He could come an' live here and he could occupy himself with the woodwork. He took up carpentry in there because he wanted to use his hands; well, he can go on using his hands..."

She turned her body slowly towards him and her voice held an unusual disdainful note as she said, "You're just using him as cheap labour."

His fists were clenched and his arms were extended to the fullest length as he flung himself first one way and then the other, crying,

"God in Heaven I Christ alive 1' " Don't use that term, Robbie 1' She was snapping now.

"It

"Well, Mam." He shut his eyes tightly and his head swung as he ground out, "You'd make a Rabbi curse. Using him? Of course, I'm using him."

He was glaring at her now.

"And, aye, for me own benefit, but at the same time it's for his benefit. But besides anything me or him'll get out of it I'm doing it for your benefit, an' you're a fool not to see it."

"Robbie, stop it. Be quiet for a moment and listen to me." She paused until he was looking at her again.

"The truth is that Harry Blenheim doesn't know I'm alive except as good old Janet; Janet who lived upstairs above him for years; Janet who first took him to school, because I was six and he was five; Janet who would go into their house and mind him when his mother was out. Then it was Janet who would go and help his wife out. " She paused again and wetted her lips before saying quietly, " Never, even as a young girl did I imagine anything could come of it. Harry Blenheim was not only Church of England, he was in the choir, and his voice brought him quickly to the fore, to people's notice, and there was us, practising Jews. Had my father ever thought that I had any private thoughts about Harry Blenheim he would have had me transported to some far-off place; he was quite capable of it. He picked your father for me; and your father was a good man, yet I might have protested if there had been the slightest hope for me in Harry's direction. But as I've said, he didn't even know I was alive in that way. And he doesn't to this day, so you can save your plans and your schemes, Robbie . And one small point you seem to have overlooked is, he's still married and has a family. "

"Huh 1 Married and his family? If that's marriage then I'll find me a woman to live with."

"Don't say things like that, Robbie."

"I will say things like that, Mam, and I mean them. He stepped oft the white line once and that was enough for her. And his family. God 1

his family. An' not one of them's been to see him during all this time."

"You forget Terry; he came and asked after him."

"I'd have thought a damn sight more of him if he had made the journey to Durham."

I-ie's only a boy. "

Boy, me granny's aunt! Anyway, apart from that what do you think is going to happen when he comes out? Are his friends going to rally round; they were pretty scarce before he went up. As I see it he's only got us and that Mr. Whelan. But he's in Doncaster now, so where's he going to go . prisoners' aid? "

Janet bowed her head and covered her eyes with her hand.

"You make it sound so awful."

"It is awful, Mam."

"Couldn't you offer him a job in the shop? You said you wanted somebody presentable, different from Sid, and he could get lodgings in the town."

"I could, but I know damn well he'd refuse; he won't be able to face the town. He'll want time and a place to recover in, and this is it."

He pointed down the hill.

"Mind." He raised his hand, palm upwards, towards her.

"I'm not saying I took the house because of him. Oh no.

But the whole thing fell into place, his need an' mine. "

"I still think it's making a convenience of him, using him."

"But it's a job for him, Mam, be sensible. And I'll pay him. It won't be builder's rates but I'll pay him, he'll feel in dependent."

"But he'll be here with me all day and I couldn't bear that."

Her voice was low now and it stopped him from yelling "Aw, for crying out loud!" Instead, he gripped hold of her arms and shook her slightly, saying, "Well, that's something you'll have to get used to, because if I have anything to do with it he's coming here; and he can stay until he gets on his feet and then it's up to him."

She looked at him for a long, long moment. Her eyes travelled from his black hair to his equally black eyes, over his big nose and thin mouth, then down his stocky body, and she said slowly as if drawing on familiar thoughts, "You'll marry one day ..." But she got no further before his chin jerked up and out, and his words came rapidly on brittle laughter as he said, "Don't make plans for me in that direction, Mam; you forget you're talking to Robbie Dunn, who, if he knows nothing else, knows what his assets are in the marrying market.

Whoever says "I o-" s w ,. n^ n q^e dowry <"" "g '-"

"'c, aLu.u ai a big house'--he again nodded down the hill--'furnished with antiques, and a nice fat bank ^}_ She'll want the prestige money can buy, and as it's goi^' ^ be some little time afore I can offer me beloved that, we'll forget about it, eh? ..."

"But, Robbie ..."

"Look, Mam, I said forget about it. I know what chances I have in that direction." His voice had moved from sarcasm to bitterness now.

"Girls I have an eye for look upon me as a Jew boy, fast talking, slick and common. Aye, common. Even those of me own kind don't want to is: now me. I don't spend enough for some, and the others, like Olive Stein, who you'd think'd be glad to jump at anybody, are raiting to see what I make of things ... Aw, Mam, don't, don't cry; for heaven's sake don't cry."

"Oh, Robbie. Oh, my dear." V/hen she leant her head against his shoulder he put his arms around her and stared down the hill to the substitute for loving he had saddled Jhimself with, and there came a swelling in his throat that threatened to choke him, and he beat it off with, "Christ alive I Don't you start."

^x The sale, in a private house just outside of Prudhoe, was almost at an end. Robbie was pleased with himself. He had not only got what he came for, an Adam-style wine cooler, but had picked up a couple of good quality plated cover dishes for almost a song. The last lot of the sale was an outsize clothes basket, full of books and oddments. The oddments were a dented copper kettle and stand, and an old tea caddy the lid and sides heavily rococoed. The lead had been stripped from the inside and the box-lids were missing, yet he thought he might have a find here.

When the lot was knocked down to him for fifteen shillings he knew he was all right, for the books alone should bring ten bob. He didn't intend to take them back to the shop if he could help it, he didn't go in for books. There was a secondhand bookshop on the main road to Newcastle just beyond Jesmond;

he decided to stop there and try to flog them.

At twenty minutes past five he pulled the van up to the kerb opposite the shop and saw he was just in time, as a girl was clearing a table of books that stood outside the doorway.

The bookshop had a single window, but this was deceptive he saw as he entered the shop, because before him was quite a large room with racks down the centre and the walls lined with book-filled shelves, and overall the permeating musty smell that is peculiar to second-hand book shops seemed stronger than usual. It was a depressing place.

The girl was bending down stacking the books on the floor to the side of a rack, and seeing the feet standing a yard or so from her she turned her head and said, "I'm sorry, we're closing." Her voice trailed away on the last word and she straightened hello. Fancy seeing you here. "

He watched the colour flood up over her pale face; it was as if she had been caught in some misdemeanour.

"You work here?" he now asked.

It was obvious that she did, but he could find nothing else to say at the moment.

"Yes," she said flatly.

"And I'm about to close." The colour was receding now.