I Am Alive (13 page)

"So all this we live in is an imitation of an old world smitten with Xitler's devious signature?" I ask.

"Yes," the skater boy nods. "Take the Playa for example. It's a twisted version of a place called Disneyland, which existed in the same address in the Old America. To Xitler, it seemed like the perfect location for his deadly games."

"And what does the Burning Man have to do with that?" I ask.

"The Burning Man was more like an x-marks-the-spot for the location of the containers. Originally, the Burning Man was a festive occasion in the Old America. They celebrated freedom of expression. That's all. Whoever left the containers behind didn't just leave it as an effigy in a world that has been totally destructed. Xitler thought the Burning Man made a great God for his nation."

“If he had all this information at hand, then why was controlling the nation with a ranking system so important?” I ask.

“We’re not sure,” the boy said. “It looks like it's because of generation Z, the kids who eventually brought down Old America."

“So basically Faya is a bad movie remake of a once-awful movie.” Pepper considers.

“How does the Breakfast Club know all that?” I wonder.

“It’s rumored that they had found the containers before the Xitlers,” the boy explains. “Only they couldn’t collect enough information before Xitler’s family and their army came and threatened to kill them.”

“I suppose there is a reason why they’re called the Breakfast Club too.” I say.

“Yes,” Bellona smiles. “It’s named after an old movie. One that will live forever.”

“Was it about the Monsters?” Pepper wonders.

“Kind of. It was a movie about teens like us.” The boy explains.

I sigh for a moment, taking in the information. “I see. "So what happened next?” I ask.

“What happened next is the story of the iAm itself.” says Bellona.

“The iAm was Generation Z’s idea,” Bellona says. “They started it for fun, using what they called smartphones at the time to self-quantify themselves.”

“It was also called Body Hacking. Just the same as our iAm now,” says Roger This. I notice his t-shirt is too clean for a boy who fought for his life. “But then the applications started becoming more complex. The software started predicting unusual things, like how well the owner of the smartphone would do in his next exam in school, how long the owner was estimated to live, who the owner would fall in love with. Generation Z thought it was fun.”

“Only the device was controlled individually by each member of Generation Z,” Bellona says. “Meaning that your data was private. You used it to tweak your body and mind the way you liked. It was a logical advancement in technology at the time. It was harmless until—”

“Until the data was controlled and used by the government,” a skater boy says. “The governments thought: ‘What a magical device. We can control Generation Z with this device, by knowing everything about them. We don’t need surveillance anymore. We don’t even need to spend money on weapons of war. We practically own teens by knowing everything they do twenty-four-seven.’ And that was the end of the world. The end of democracy, freedom of speech, and everything. No one could do anything without the government knowing it. Everyone got spied on, and their future predicted—”

“That is exactly the same world we live in now.” I remark.

“So the Monsters are only an equivalent to Generation Z?” Pepper wonders. “The ones who didn’t want to submit blindly to the Summit?”

The skaters nod.

“That is definitely not me,” says Roger This. “I loved the Summit. The computer and internet games they make are so awesome. I am only here because I didn’t study or go to school, spending my time playing Zeragon 5, trying to become a top scorer.”

“Are you for real, or just a figment of my imagination?” Pepper snarls at Roger This.

Bellona laughs. “By the way,” she addresses me. “You did great in the Breathing Dome, and you saved my life.” She averts her eyes from mine. “Thank you,” she says, almost whispering. I understand that military teens should be saving others, so when I saved her, she felt a little awkward about it.

“You’re welcome,” I say aloud. I saved somebody and they thanked me. This never happened to me before.

“So can’t the Breakfast Club help us?” Pepper asks the skaters.

“The Breakfast Club is hard to reach,” explains Bellona. “They don’t use iAms. They have gone through the dangerous operation of removing the receptor trackers from underneath their left ears. It’s said that some of them died in the process, and they don’t trust anybody easily.”

Everybody falls silent. It seems the Breakfast Club is not the answer to our fears at the moment.

“But how about the families of the members of the Breakfast club?” I wonder. “Weren’t they affected by their sons and daughters becoming members of the revolution?”

Bellona swallows and gazes at the grass beneath her feet. “They had their parents clear their names,” she says.

“What is that?” asks Pepper.

“It means they are no longer considered sons and daughters to their parents,” I explain. Finally, something I know about. Clearing someone’s name means that you don’t belong to the family anymore. By doing this, your family will not be downgraded if you get a bad rank, and they are not responsible for you anymore. Also you’re not allowed to meet with them ever again. I know this because I’ve researched it before. I was going to use it, but you’re not allowed to clear your name if your father is a Six and served in the army. I don’t think that Woo cared enough about his father to clear his name.

“You can do that?” Roger This asks. For the first time, he seems infuriated. He covers his face with his hands, letting out a strange noise, like the moaning of a cat.

“What’s wrong?” Bellona asks him. Hell, even Leo turns his head.

“I could have saved my family,” Roger This says. “I knew previously that I’d be outranked, because I am a game addict.”

“No, you couldn’t have saved them,” I explain to him. “Only the parent of a ranked teen can do this. The parents have to approve.”

Roger This removes his hands, raises his head, and looks at us. “That makes me feel better. A little. All day I’ve been thinking about what will happen to my parents. They are both Fives.”

“They play games, too?” Leo asks him, wrapping his arms around his knees pressed to his chest. Of course, he is still holding the rifle. We all turn to Mr. Mysterious, finally speaking.

“Yes,” Roger This says, a little intimidated by Leo.

“Zeragon 5. Eh?” Leo mutters.

“Yep.” Roger This nods.

“Cool game.” Leo slaps a small insect crawling on his face. He doesn’t brush it away after it sticks to his flesh. Roger This winces. “I couldn’t figure out how to open the Dudgeon Dungeon,” Leo remarks.

Dudgeon Dungeon?
Bellona and I exchange open-mouthed looks.

“That’s easy,” Roger This says. “You just pick the berries from the forest, give them to the Lady in Black, and she gives you the password.”

“Password?” Leo wonders. “The Dudgeon’s gate opens with a password?”

“Or you find the Rabbit Hole,” Roger This says.

“Yeah? What’s up with all that hype about the Rabbit Hole?” Leo asks.

Suddenly, we’re all blocked out, watching the two most unlikely characters talk about the most unlikely subjects.

“We shouldn’t talk about the Rabbit Hole.” Pepper says.

“I heard about this Rabbit Hole thing,” says Bellona. “I mean, I don’t play computer games, but is this Rabbit Hole you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about?”

Roger This nods. He seems reluctant to say anything about the Rabbit Hole.

“Why is this Rabbit Hole so important?” I ask.

“It’s rumored that there is a way out of the Playa,” a skater boy explains. “It’s called the Rabbit Hole.”

“Seriously?” I almost jump from my place. “So why aren’t we looking for it?” If this is true, and Woo survived, then he is already out of here. But if he is out, why didn’t he contact me?

“It’s never been confirmed,” says Pepper. “Someone keeps sending secret messages and codes through the online games about the Rabbit Hole in the Playa. That’s about it. How do you not know about that? It’s like, an urban legend.” Again, I seem to be the only one ignorant of this.

“Not just someone,” says Bellona. “It’s Wolf who sends the messages. We trust him.”

“Who is Wolf?” I wonder.

“The leader of the Breakfast Club,” the boy says. “It’s his nickname. He encourages teens to look for the Rabbit Hole. It’s a way out that even the Summit doesn’t know about.”

“So seriously, why aren’t we looking?” I say.

“Because we are going to face another deadly game tomorrow,” says Bellona. “And we’ll need all the sleep we can get now. We don’t have the time to look for a myth like that. Be real.”

“Stop it, girls,” one of the skaters demands. He is heavily tattooed, and is lying on his back with his hand behind his head, chewing on some grass. I remember him. He is the one who left me behind on purpose in the Breathing Dome. Strangely, he has his name tattooed on his arm, under the Six: Orin.

“Since you have spoken, Orin…” I can’t help myself. I have to express my anger. “I want to tell you that you could have saved me today. You killed the Bully next to the Breathing Booth I was trapped inside, and I was dying. I was screaming for you, and you didn’t save me. You didn’t even look at me. I can’t imagine you didn’t hear me. You were so close.”

“I heard you,” says Orin bluntly. “It’s just I am not here to save anybody. I am not in the military anymore. This is me taking care of me.”

There are two or three minutes of silence, except for the sound of flickering fire, and me gulping water. The eleven of us are still. What Orin said needs little explanation. Are we going to be there for each other, or is every one of us on their own? Is this going to be a fight within a fight, or should we stand united?

Orin is a soldier. His mind is more tuned to the situation than most of ours. He is practical.

“Hey,” Leo interrupts the tension, talking to Roger This. “I didn’t get your name, fellow gamer.” Leo has his chin up, not smiling.

“I am Vern,” Roger This says, looking at all of us, suddenly remembering he never introduced himself — and none of us asked. “Don’t worry. I know all of your names from the Breathing Dome.”

“What’s your nickname in Zeragon 5?” Leo says. It still boggles my mind how and when Leo had time to play computer games.

“I am
RogerThis
.” Vern points proudly to his clean t-shirt with two fingers. He looks flattered that Leo asks him. “RogerThis007, actually, since Roger This was taken…”

“I get it,” says Leo, chewing on a match. “If we survive the Monster Show, I’ll nudge ya.”

“So why did you dedicate your song to the Monsters?” Pepper asks Leo, dropping the real question no one dared to ask until now. “You know, you being a Nine, coming from an all-Nine family… It doesn’t make sense.” Pepper is forward. I like her.

Leo looks like he has a sudden lump in his throat. Since I met him, I haven’t seen him hesitant and embarrassed, until now. “You’ll be surprised to know that I am no hero,” says Leo. “I did it because I wanted to make myself look like a rebel. I was sixteen, you know. Talking about Bad Kidz was prohibited. So I, in my rock star mode, wanted to do something outrageous. To sell more records, and win the Burning Idol. But I have to admit, I am glad I did. My life took such a crazy turn since then, especially when Xitler and the Summit banned me. I understood then what kind of a dictatorship we were living in. I turned against the Summit and went searching for the Breakfast Club everywhere, wanting to join them. But like Bellona, I never found them.”

“So, you’re just like every one of us,” says Bellona.

“If Leo is just as hopeless as we are, what’s the point of playing the game?” Pepper says. “We are all going to die.”

“Especially if none of us has a reason to form an alliance with anyone else.” It’s the first time I agree with Pepper. Not that I feel like giving in, but I need to see where this is going.

“The more we try to live — and eventually die — the more the audience is entertained,” explains Pepper. “Like in a horror movie, you can’t kill all the actors in the first scene.”

“In a horror movie, the hero never dies.” I beg to differ. I don’t know what kind of horror movies Pepper watches.

“The Monster never dies,” says Vern, with his knees pulled up to his chest, and his head buried between his legs. He thinks we didn’t hear him, then raises his head, surprised we’re all staring at him. “What? It’s a Stephen Zing quote.”

“King,” Leo sighs. “Stephen King, not Zing. Zing sounds as if he were a Samurai or something.”

“What’s a Samurai?” I ask.

Leo rolls his eyes. He is not going to answer me. Mr. I-come-from-outer-space.

“I am just messing with you. We killed the Bullies with Samurai swords, remember?”

“I agree with Vern,” says Bellona. “The Monster never dies. Not that I like them calling us Monsters. But since they do, let’s show them how strong-willed us Monsters can be. Let’s bond together and show them that this year, at least one of us will survive. We have to teach them that the Monster never dies.”

“How are we going to do that?” I ask. I am not here to win. I am here to find my friend.

“Military style,” answers Bellona, looking at the skaters.

“You sure you want to do it that way?” a skater boy asks.

“Yes,” Bellona says. “But no one else can know about this but us.”

“What’s going on? What does military-style mean?” asks Pepper.

“First, I want your iAms turned off now.”

Pepper nods. She seems convinced, or is playing along. We all nod too. How is a Monster never going to die?

“What I am going to ask of you is a technique we use in the army,” explains Bellona. “It is called La Roche: a tactic for survival in extreme situations.”

“Yes?” I prompt her.

“We will have to create an internal ranking that no one knows about but us. A ranking from one to ten. One is the one we sacrifice first, ten is the one we sacrifice last.”