I Am Lightning (Laurel Defense Series) (11 page)

“Ifan,” Robert warned behind me.

“She needs to know.  I am her employer and her supervisor,” Ifan said, directing a stern look at Robert.  It softened considerably when he looked back at me, but it was no less intimidating.  I was in trouble.  “You should not have engaged both elementals at the same time.  Actually, you should not have engaged either elemental.  I told you and the rest
of the team not to do it the first night and the order stood for the second night and for as many nights as it takes to complete this investigation.  You should have waited until Brenton, Tandy and Robert had a chance to cast the spell I had prepared for them.  As it was, we were short one person because Robert was busy saving you and I almost lost two more people.”

By the time he said that I felt small and insignificant, like the little Dutch kid trying to plug a hole in the dam with my finger.  My tears were threatening to make an appearance and so I looked away.  Robert put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.  It made me want to cry that much harder.

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked.

“And I understand,” Ifan allowed, “but I want YOU to understand the kind of danger you put yourself in as well as the team.  You’re off this investigation.”  The finality of his words felt like a knife through my heart.

“But Mark!” I almost yelled.

“All the more
reason to keep you off this investigation,” Ifan tried to reason.  “He is the second sprite to disappear.  One is strange, two is more than coincidence, particularly when one of them is one of my people.  I can’t lose another sprite, much less another one of mine.  You had me sick with worry, young one.”

I knew Ifan meant what he said because he ran his hands through his mostly nonexistent hair with a worried expression.  He took a deep breath and his eyes became misty.  “You taxed my healing powers.  If it hadn’t been for Robert’s blood I would have lost you.”  His voice was softer and deeper, like he could barely speak.  I looked away and let my
tears fall for several reasons, even though I couldn’t pick one at that moment.  But if I had to pick I would say what hurt me the most was seeing Ifan’s disappointment and the fear he’d felt seeing me near death.

Ifan left us shortly thereafter.  Robert produced a tissue from somewhere and wiped my tears while kneeling beside me, telling me how sorry he was.  I was sorry too, and got the words out by pure luck.  He offered me more juice and I took it, if only to stop myself from crying by taking big gulps.  Drinking took care of the worst of it and I was able to speak again.

“So I guess I know what happened after I got attacked,” I sniffled.

“Yes. 
Brenton and Tandy cast the spell to banish the elementals.  It took them a bit of Brenton’s firepower to banish them completely, but they managed.  You were right.  The elementals were guarding some kind of portal at the end of the alley.  It is deeply cloaked and the team is now working on figuring out how to get through it.”

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“No, of course not,” Robert answered immediately, making me feel marginally better.  “If those had been ordinary elementals then you should have been able to banish them yourself.  I’m partly to blame because I shouldn’t have let you engage them.  I should have stopped you and I didn’t.  My thinking was clouded.”

“What made the elementals extraordinary?”

Robert thought about it for a moment.  “They felt demonic, although elementals don’t belong to either Heaven or Hell.  These elementals had been given some extra power.  They were stronger due to some dark magic that, if I had to call it anything, I would call it demonic.”

The new tidbit of information made me shiver.  Most demons I had encountered hadn’t hurt me like the two elementals, and even though we had covered dark magic during training, we hadn’t gone too deep into it because it was a specialty that only certain supernaturals were able to
handle. 

I turned within my seat and faced Robert.  I pulled him to me, looking for comfort, hugging him using my legs and my arms.  His body fit between my legs like it was meant to, and I only relaxed once my arms were around his shoulders.  We were the same height this way, with him kneeling and me sitting.  He held my waist, pulling me forward into his body, his fingertips sneaking under the cuts he’d made to his shirt.  The coolness of his body and the fact that he was so close made my nipples bud as I pressed him closer.  I could think of little else, which just went to show who was the more mature of the two of us.

“I’m just happy you’re okay, Abby,” he said, even though his face didn’t register a lot of mirth.

He hugged me for a long time, letting my tears and sniffles come to a stop on their own, offering me the comfort of his arms and his chest, letting his shirt catch what was left of my tears.  When I was finally done crying, I took a deep breath and his scent enveloped me completely.  Robert felt the change in my mood and pulled away slowly to look at me.  One of his hands left my waist to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear, but then his finger
s continued a path over my neck and his fangs descended.  I held my breath, fearing he would get upset about it, but he smiled instead, showing me his fangs as they lengthened completely.  I had to admit he looked sexy as hell.  I whistled low as I let my breath out.

“You think I look good?” he asked still smiling.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“Really?”

“Really,” I nodded firmly.  At least he was taking my mind off my being in trouble at work.  The way I saw it, there was nothing for me to do now.  I knew Ifan enough that going upstairs and trying to talk sense into him was not going to work, so I would wait until my shift began and talk to him at the office.  By then, perhaps, enough time would have passed for Ifan to change his mind.  Maybe.

In the meantime, the gorgeous creature in my arms had to be kissed.  My body wanted his so badly, and my heart thudded in my ears like it was a wild thing trying to get at him.  I leaned closer, and he bridged the gap.

Robert’s kiss was demanding, his teeth nipping lightly at my lips, even as he watched what he did with his longer canines.  His tongue tasted me and I tasted him, and he tasted of breakfast, and coffee, and him, and I wanted to feel it everywhere not just in my mouth.  His one hand was still at my waist, holding me tight against him, the other began a treacherous journey over my chest until it reached my left breast.  Cupping it delicately, he pulled away from our kiss, fixing his eyes on it, running his thumb over the nipple and making me shiver.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and bent to place a soft kiss on my breast, over the T-shirt.  I wished my skin hadn’t been numb; I could have felt the goose bumps better.  “Can we make love?”

I blinked at his question.  The problem of his biting me was no longer a problem.  He could bite me and it wouldn’t affect him.  And, of course, I wanted nothing more than to feel him inside me.  He was the one I wanted.

“Yes!” I answered after a couple of heartbeats.  I tightened my hold on him with both my legs and my arms, kissing his beautiful face, pushing the sunglasses over his head.  He closed his eyes and let me kiss him; his closed eyelids, his eyebrows, his straight nose and the tiny cleft on his chin.  My kiss returned to his mouth and it was insistent, trying to spur him into action, to take me to his room and love me.

But he didn’t.

Slowly he stopped returning my kisses and began to pull away.  I felt abandoned.  After everything I’d been through, I wasn’t sure I could take his rejection.  Hadn’t he just asked me if we could make love?

He must have read my expression and deciphered it correctly.  “I’m sorry, my darling.  There’s something I’ve been keeping from you and I think you should know before…” his words faltered and he stood up.

My wings fluttered in response to my nerves and the cool wind they stirred did nothing to help with the sudden chill I felt.  “What’s wrong?” I asked, unable to make my voice come out any stronger than a mumbled whisper.

“It’s not you, Abby.  Believe that.  It’s me, what I was and what I am.  I want to show you.”

My heart sank.  Every girl has heard “it’s not you, it’s me.”  Could this really be happening?  I closed my eyes briefly, feeling like my world was coming apart.  First I fall in love with a vampire, then Mark disappears, then the vampire I’m in love with,
who seems to love me back, maybe doesn’t love me at all.  My heart couldn’t take much more.

I heard the soft rustling of fabric and opened my eyes to see Robert taking off his shirt.  His bare body was just as beautiful as I’d imagined, his muscles moving in a sensual dance as he finished with the shirt.  My mesmerized gaze turned into a horrified stare when he turned around and showed me his back.

I was out of my chair so fast that it toppled over with a crash.  Tears stung my eyes and I had to brush them away quickly so that my vision wouldn’t blur.  What was I seeing on his back, exactly?  Those were not the slits of a sprite’s wing openings.  Those were scars.  I was trying to come up with an explanation as to why Robert had two very long parallel scars, from just over his shoulder blades down to his waist.  Wings belonged there, for sure, and they had been removed.  I shivered and felt sick.  Whatever Robert had been before his turning, he would not be able to grow the wings back now that he was a vampire.

“Who did this to you?” I asked, trying to keep the rising bile down in my stomach.

“My maker, before she turned me.  It was the easiest way to make me bleed without her tasting my poisonous blood,” he answered and I felt a sob catch in my throat.  I ran my fingers delicately over one of the scars.  His wings must have been magnificent, much larger than mine and didn’t retract, which meant they were probably feathered.

“Were you a sprite?” I asked shyly, because I knew the answer was a negative.

“No, Abby.”  Robert’s shoulders sagged before he turned and took my hands in his, twining our fingers together.  He opened up for me, offering me some of his energy.  I didn’t take it, simply let it course between us, the sweet current giving me some hope.  “I was an angel.”

CHAPTER
10

Robert’s words echoed in my head long after he’d spoken. 
An angel.  An angel?  I’d never seen an angel before.  I’d seen plenty of demons, but no angels.  Apparently I was staring at one now.  No, Robert wasn’t an angel anymore, even if he possessed powers that no ordinary vampire could possibly have.  Once again I found myself trying to keep the nausea at bay.  The thought that somebody had damaged him so irrevocably produced a kind of despair and rage that, when combined, made me sick to my stomach.

I don’t know what Robert saw in my face, but he took his hands away from mine and left the kitchen.  I remained rooted to my spot – my legs were made of lead – but soon found enough strength to move and follow him.  He was sitting at a corner of the couch inside his small living room, staring straight ahead at nothing at all.  The picture was an unfathomably sad one.  My heart broke and I choked on a sob.

“I’m so sorry,” I managed to say as I sat next to him as best I could, wings expanded.

He shook his head.  “It was my fault.”

“How can that be?!” I sputtered.  “It cannot be your fault.”

“I left myself open for an ambush,” he began to explain.  I wasn’t following, but decided that telling him he’d lost me was obvious enough.  I remained quiet, hoping he’d fill me in as soon as he gathered his thoughts on the matter.  But he remained quiet for longer than I liked.  I reached for his hand and squeezed it, willing to listen or to just remain by his side if that was what he wanted.

After a while his shoulders relaxed just enough that I knew he’d made up his mind.  Robert took a deep breath and began to speak.

“We – angels – we only come when someone devout calls out for us in their time of need, and we only help humans, those who have no other means of helping themselves.  One night I was called by a woman who was being attacked in an alley near a church.  I came to her, as we always do…”

“I’m sorry, how is that?” I interrupted, because I knew absolutely nothing about angels.

“I was not visible.  All angels are invisible until something happens to our wings,” he explained, moving his hands in the air to emphasize his point.  “That night, the woman’s assailants were not human, but that should not have made a difference.  I should have been able to save her,” Robert shook his head at the memory.  “There was someone else waiting in the shadows, someone I didn’t see.  My vampire maker was handy with a sword and also could see me, which is something I haven’t been able to figure out.  She attacked me from behind…” his voice drifted.  My imagination was filling in the gaps by then.  My mind’s eye was busy conjuring up the image of a
female vampire cutting off Robert’s wings with one swipe of a sword.  It must have been unbearably painful and gory.  No wonder he was having trouble telling me how his change had come about.  I decided to let him tell me the story however he could.  I remained silent and waited patiently for him to continue.

“She bled me and then forced me to drink her blood while I was unconscious.  As you can see, I make a bad vampire.  I couldn’t stand to drink blood and would vomit it more times than not.  She didn’t know that I needed food too, and I simply began to die.  She did not have the inclination to care for me and deposited me back in the alley where she had found me.  Ifan was alerted by other angels and came to my rescue.  The other angels did not dare approach me or help me for fear they would either break our rules, or that I would harm them.  But Ifan nursed me back to health.  He has been like a father to me, better than a father in some ways.  It took me a long time to recover, but he never left my side.”  Robert fell silent, looking at our hands twined together on his lap.

My anger was almost out of control at what had been done to him, but I kept it in check by pure force of will.  I didn’t want to shock Robert in the literal sense.  “What is her name?” I asked through gritted teeth.  “What is the name of your maker?”

“It doesn’t matter, Abby.”

“It does to me.”

“Why?” he asked, turning his face to me.  I couldn’t see his eyes as they were covered again with his sunglasses.  “The damage is already done and cannot be undone.  Revenge is not the answer.  I just have to learn to make the best of this situation.  It’s not fair to you…”

“What isn’t fair?” I asked immediately, interrupting him again.  I realized it was really bad of me, but he was about to make a silly statement.  I could feel it in my gut.

“It’s not fair that I’ve fallen in love with you,” he said in his low deep voice.  Hearing the words again warmed my heart and made it soar, even in the midst of this mess we were in.

Then the meaning of his words hit me.  “Why do you say that?”

“I’m not who you deserve,” he tried to explain.  “I feel like I want to be your mate, and that’s unfair to you.  I can’t give you the kind of life you deserve like Mark can.”

My soaring heart took a plummeting dive right into my spleen.  I didn’t even know what to say to that statement.  I was so worried about Mark, but there was nothing that I was allowed to do since I’d already botched up part of an investigation, so talk of Mark sent chills down my spine of the kind that had me wondering if he was still alive.  Then I began thinking that even if he was alive, he was not who I wanted as a mate.  He was family.  I loved him like I would have loved a brother.  On the other hand, I loved Robert like I should have loved a mate.  I had fallen head over heels in love with a vampire.  My body yearned to be joined with his, and my mind could not conjure up a future without him.  Robert was mine.

“I don’t care what you are,” I heard myself say as if I was having an out-of-body experience.  My mind was still reeling with two kinds of fear: losing Mark and losing Robert.  “You’re the one I want,” I said with as much strength in my voice as I could muster.

“All I would ever do would be to take from you.  I want your blood.  I want to smell your scent.  You smell just like the sky, like a dark storm cloud.  I want to look at you forever because you’re so beautiful.  I want to make love to you, to know what it feels like.  I don’t want anybody else.  I want you.”  Robert moved closer, then seemed to think about it better and stood up, moving away from me.

I felt his absence like a shot through my heart.  What could I say to make it better?  I’d never been in love before, not like this.  I wanted to soothe him somehow.  I also wanted to make sure he understood that I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Robert,” I called him, willing him to at least look at me.  He did, and I wished I could see his eyes.  His face looked curiously empty.  “I’m willing to give it all to you,” I began and he started shaking his head.  “Listen to me, please.  Don’t shut me out.  I would also be taking from you, don’t you see?  I want your energy.  I can’t get enough of the way you open up to me and the way it feels.  I am the vampire when you do that.  I want to take all that energy from you.  And I think you are beautiful too.  Right now I’m upset because I can’t see your eyes,” I said to prove my point, my voice coming out stronger with each sentence.

Robert took off his sunglasses as he walked back to me.  I stared, but this time it was his eyes that were holding me in thrall, not his nearly naked body.  He knelt before me and took my hands, massaging my palms with his thumbs before placing soft kisses on the pads of my fingers.  His touch was electric, even when there was no exchange of energy going on.  I’d never felt that with anybody else.

“What if I’m not a good lover to you?” he asked, still looking into my eyes.

I frowned in confusion.  “I doubt that.”

“You would be my first lover.  What if I hurt you, Abby?  I would never forgive myself.”

It took me a moment to understand.  All I’d ever heard about vampires was that they were wonderful lovers, but, of course, Robert was not JUST a vampire.  He’d been an angel.  A vague comprehension began to dawn on me: the way he had learned to kiss me, and the way he’d hesitated and looked away from my naked body.  Some of the things he had done had been dictated by his vampire nature, granted.  But I could now understand why he hadn’t acted upon those feelings that nature dictated.

“You’ve been nothing but gentle,” I pointed out.  “You took care of me and healed me.  I have your blood inside me.  You gave me a great gift and I am here thanks to you.  How could you hurt me?”

Robert reached for the end of my braid, to caress it with the tips of his fingers.  “I can’t see you well enough without my glasses,” he whispered.  I solved that quickly by robbing the energy from the lamps around the room and plunging it into darkness.  I could barely see, but I didn’t need to see.

My hands went in search of and found Robert’s naked chest, caressing until I reached his shoulders and pulled him into me.  His mouth found mine, surprising me with an insistent, hungry kiss that I was happy to return.  His need pressed into me at the same time he pulled me closer by scooping me under my butt.  I moaned into his mouth and let my body go limp except my arms.  My arms circled his neck and were not about to let him go.

I’d never felt such desire for someone else, nor had my body ever reacted to another the way it reacted to Robert’s touch.  The darkness in the room was slowly being replaced by the light emanating from my skin, while my heart was a living being thundering inside my ribcage.  Robert moved his kisses to my neck and I felt his fangs scraping the tender flesh, then his lips and tongue tasting me, teasing me.  Another soft moan escaped from my mouth at the same time that his hips began the gentle push into my core, pressing and releasing.  Our bodies were more than ready to accept each other.  I ran my fingers down the scars on his back, claiming them as mine too, just like the rest of him.

“Abby, Abigail,” Robert whispered in a hoarse voice, desire laced into my name.  His hands caressed my sides, sneaking under my shirt and touching my naked skin.  I was so hot compared to him that I shivered at his touch, and even more when he pulled the shirt over my head.  He pulled away to look at me, giving himself the permission to stare.  The soft light emanating from my body showed his face full of hunger: fangs out, pupils dilated, his tongue tracing the line of his lips.

“Take me,” I said, knowing he’d been waiting for my own permission.

His eyes met mine before he gave me a small, sultry smile and bent his head to my chest.  He left soft kisses on my skin while his right hand caressed my breast.  His left hand held me close to the edge of the sofa: one soft touch, one strong hold.  I felt like melting when his cool tongue lapped gently over my nipple, sending a different type of shiver through my body.  I knotted my fingers into the soft locks of his hair, holding him to my chest in a silent bid for more kisses.

Suddenly he held me tighter against him and stood up with me wrapped around his waist.  He walked with swift speed to the bedroom, watching his every move to protect my wings from things like walls and door frames.  He set me down gently on the
floor, taking a step back and studying me head to toe.  I felt self-conscious until he knelt in front of me and reached for the waistband of my pants.

I watched mesmerized, my skin’s glow allowing me to see his hands moving slowly over my body, taking off the rest of my clothes and caressing my skin as it was revealed.  Robert’s touch was soft and deliberate, gentle, like I was made of glass.  Maybe to him I was indeed made of glass, easily breakable.  After all, he’d seen me broken and bleeding the night before.  Just as I thought that, he looked up.  His expression was full of wonder, raking his eyes over my naked body in a way that told me – without a doubt – that he thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Little by little he planted kisses from my ankles to my calves, from my knees to my thighs.  He paused at the apex of my legs, but only for a moment before he kissed me there too.  I gasped when his cool tongue darted to sneak a taste of me, and saw what my reaction did to him.  He smiled and bit his lower lip; the pleasure of discovery was plain on his face.  He continued kissing my body, from my hips to my belly, slowly rising from the floor to stand and kiss my breasts again, my clavicle, my neck.  He lingered there, taking deep breaths.  The only part of his body that touched mine was the tip of his nose caressing the sensitive skin where my neck meets my jaw.  Then he kissed me there too.

I reached out to him, running my fingers down to the waistband of his boxer briefs and tugging him a little closer.  He helped me take them off, standing before me like a living statue of a Greek god.  He must have been magnificent when he had wings,
not that he wasn’t stunning as he stood naked and ready for me.

Now I had a slight dilemma: I’d never been responsible for taking anyone’s virginity.  I wanted it to be perfect, and I had no clue what to do to make this moment unforgettable for him.  Robert saw my hesitation and, always smarter than me, understood my apprehension.  What I saw in his expression put my fears at rest.  He loved me; I could see it and feel it in his touch.  I could see it in the way he looked at me and smiled, and the way he caressed my face before kissing me again.  This time it wasn’t the hungry kiss from earlier.  This time we made love.  His lips brushed against mine before he opened his mouth to capture mine.  I moved closer and pressed my body against his, needing to feel his skin on mine, needing to bring down my temperature by feeling his cool flesh.