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fidelity.»

«And what do I get in return?»

«The glory of bearing my esteemed family name?» God, that

was a joke; his family was almost as notorious as the disgraced

murderous Ferrer’s. «The joy of my occasional presence?»

«That’s not enough.»

He scowled at her. «I don’t care. That is the way it is and that

is how it will stay.»

She glared right back at him, her hands clenched together on

the tablecloth, her color high. «And what if I choose to disobey

He took two deliberate steps back toward her until he towered

over her chair, but she didn’t draw back. «It’s within my

husbandly rights to beat some sense into you.»

«You wouldn’t do that, Blaize.»

He raised his eyebrows at her. «You are certain of that? Didn’t

you see me wield that whip last night?»

«That was for a different purpose altogether.»

He stared down at her and exhaled sharply. She knew him

rather too well. He would never beat her in a rage, would never

allow himself to lose control like his father had with him. He’d

learned that there were far better ways to dominate and master

people. Proving that to Jane would almost be a pleasure.

«If you are so eager to enlarge your sexual experience, I’m

quite happy to keep on fucking your arse and letting you suck me

off.» He brushed a hand over the front of his buckskin breeches

and cupped his balls. «You can start now if you like.»

«But I haven’t finished my breakfast yet.»

«So?»

«You wouldn’t want toast crumbs in your shirttails, would

you?

He had to stare up at the ceiling so that she wouldn’t see the

urge to smile that had almost escaped him at her prosaic reply.

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She was incorrigible. Sometimes he simply wanted to strangle

her. The clock on the mantelpiece chimed the quarter hour and

Jane shot to her feet, almost catching him under the chin with

her head.

«I have to go and get my bonnet on. Emily is calling for me in

five minutes.»

Minshom caught hold of her wrists and held her captive. «You

are not taking a lover.»

She took a long time examining his face before she sighed. «I

can’t promise that, Blaize, and you can hardly expect me to.

You’ve had everything your own way for far too many years.»

«How many years, Jane? Would that be the seven since I’ve

left you, or do you consider our marriage the start of my good

fortune?»

She blinked hard and then refocused on him. «There were...

elements of our marriage that I consider very fortunate indeed.»

Damn her and damn the constriction in his chest. How dare

she make him remember? He tightened his grip. «There’s another

excellent reason why you won’t ever take a lover. They’ll be no

cuckoos in my nest or in your womb.»

«You... you don’t ever want to have another child?»

«Of course I don’t.»

«Blaize...»

The shock in her eyes almost made him feel relieved, as if he’d

finally gotten through to her, as if she finally understood that

there were some mistakes he never intended to repeat. He

released her wrists and stepped back. It was time to drive the

knife home and make her stop. His smile was calculated to hurt.

«I thought you’d be relieved, Jane.»

«Because you say you don’t want another child?»

«In truth, I can almost understand why you would want

another man to father your child. God knows, if I got you

pregnant again I might murder this one as well.»

74 /
Kate Pearce

She twisted her hands together, her face as white as his cravat.

«I shouldn’t have said that, I was distraught, I was hysterical, I...»

«...Was right. I was the last person to see Nicholas alive,

wasn’t I? The last person to hold him and watch him die.»

«Don’t say it like that, don’t make it sound as if you wanted

him dead...»

Minshom bowed and turned back toward the door. He had to

get away from her before he said something he might regret or

gave her the opportunity to press him further. Much better to

leave now, take his anger and pain with him and... and what?

Inflict it on Robert? He strode into his study, slammed the door

behind him and sat down at his desk. He stared at the stacks of

correspondence, the bills, the ledgers, and saw none of it, only

the small white face of his son, Nicholas, asleep but not asleep, in

his arms but far, far away.

Minshom shoved his hands into his hair and focused on his

breathing. Sometimes it was the small things that saved you, the

small necessities of life that helped you realize you were still alive

and could bear any pain inflicted on you. He’d learned that lesson

young and it had always stood him in good stead.

He breathed in time to the tick of the clock until his gaze

refocused and his heart stopped pounding like that of hunted

prey. He’d known in the depths of his soul that this day would

come, that Jane would eventually come after him and want to

talk about the «tragedy.» He smiled bitterly at his blotting pad.

He’d thought seven years would’ve deadened the pain, but it

hadn’t.

He raised his head and took another deep breath. If he

wanted to survive this, he’d have to pretend that seven years had

been more than enough time to forget his son Nicholas had ever

existed. If he wanted to survive Jane, his very existence might

depend on it.

Jane stared at the door Blaize had exited through and sank

back down into her chair, one hand covering her mouth. How on

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earth had she allowed that to happen? The conversation had

veered off course with all the randomness of a ship in a storm.

And what a pile of wreckage she had created.

Blaize was angry with her and she couldn’t blame him. She’d

only mentioned taking a lover to annoy him, not considered all

the ramifications of her potential liaison. Oh God... She wrapped

her arms around her waist and rocked slowly back and forth. He

didn’t want another child and it was all her fault.

«My lady? Are you all right?»

She looked up into the concerned face of one of the footmen

who had returned with a fresh pot of coffee.

«I’m not feeling quite well. Would you be good enough to give

Lady Millhaven my apologies when she calls and tell her I can’t

accompany her out today?»

«Of course, my lady.» The footman hesitated by her chair.

«Would you like me to fetch your maid?»

She managed to smile at him. «No, I’ll be fine in a moment. I

think I’ll take myself upstairs to bed.»

«If you’re sure, my lady.»

She waved him away. ‘‘Thank you, I’m sure I’ll be fine.»

He withdrew, leaving her to get to her feet and walk

unsteadily to the door. She glanced toward the end of the long

hallway to her left. Blaizes study door was shut. She looked

uncertainly at the stairs. She couldn’t give way to weakness and

go and hide in her room now. Blaize was already angry with her.

By confronting him now she couldn’t make anything worse,

could she?

She tiptoed down to his study and slowly opened the door

and slipped inside. He sat at his desk, his profile toward her. One

hand was in his black hair, the other tapped out a driving rhythm

on his blotter.

«If that’s you, Robert, go to hell, but fetch me a bottle of

brandy first.»

76 /
Kate Pearce

Jane bit her lip and walked around to where he could see her.

He stopped tapping and slowly raised his head. His eyes were so

cold she almost stopped breathing.

«Get out, Jane.»

«I wanted to apologize to you.»

He raised one disinterested eyebrow. «Apology accepted, now

get out.»

She took a step closer. «After Nicholas died I was hysterical

with grief, willing to blame anyone, his nursemaids, you, God.

Anyone for his death except myself. In my sorrow, I said things

that were untrue and accused you of something unforgivable.»

«I know what you did and what you said. I was there.»

«But once I realized that I was Nicholas’s mother, that I

should’ve known...» She struggled to earn’ on in the face of such

total disinterest. «...That I should have protected him.»

«From me?»

«No!» Jane swallowed hard. «I know you loved Nicholas,

Blaize. I wronged you greatly when I said that you didn’t.»

A muscle flicked in his cheek. «You did far more than that, my

dear. You accused me of murdering him.»

She held his gaze, searched for some sign of softening toward

her, some sign that he understood what she was trying to say.

«And that’s why I’m apologizing, because I was wrong and

because I have regretted those words ever since.»

«So?»

«So I came to London to make amends, to assure you that I

never thought you killed Nicholas.» She sighed. «I should never

have listened to your father’s wild imaginings and turned my

ridiculous suspicions toward you.»

His mouth twisted at one corner. «My father could be very

persuasive when he wanted to be.»

She felt as if she was trying to run uphill in wet sand and tried

again to reach him.

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«Still, I should have ignored him. I was very young, but that

doesn’t excuse my lack of faith in you.»

Blaize stood up and walked across to the window.

«But my father was right, wasn’t he?»

«I beg your pardon?»

«I did dismiss Nicholas’s nurse and insist I was left alone with

him that night. And you heard the fight that morning, when I

swore to my father that he would never get an heir from me.»

Jane’s stomach did an uncomfortable flip. «What are you

saying?»

He shrugged, his expression hidden in the glare from the

window behind him. «I think you know.»

«But I don’t want to blame you anymore,» she whispered. «I

truly don’t.»

«That’s very generous of you, my dear, but it doesn’t really

make any difference, does it?» He held her gaze. «Nicholas is

dead and I’m responsible.»

Jane shook her head as his figure blurred and trembled before

her tear-filled eyes. «No.»

«And while we’re on the subject of exactly why you are here,

Jane, why don’t you just tell me the rest?»

«The rest of what?» she managed to whisper.

«Your plan.»

«I have no plan.»

He walked toward her and handed her his handkerchief.

«Don’t lie to me. I know the way your mind works.»

She dabbed at her cheeks and tried to gather her wits. «I came

to tell you I was sorry, that’s all.»

«And what did you expect me to do? Immediately fall at your

feet, renounce my evil ways and return home with you?»

«I don’t know what I expected.» Not this, not him apparently

accepting and embracing his guilt. She shuddered as he placed

two hard fingers under her chin and brought her head up to look

at him.

78 /
Kate Pearce

«And I have disappointed you again, haven’t I? Isn’t it time

for you to go home now?»

Jane closed her eyes to avoid his mocking expression and

slowly shook her head. «You’re right. I didn’t just come here to

talk about Nicholas.»

«Ah, I thought as much. Is this when you try to persuade me

to have another child?» His tone grew frosty. «I believe we’ve

already had that discussion.»

She opened her eyes. «That’s not what I wanted to discuss at

all.» His skeptical and patronizing smile gave her the impetus she

needed to fight back, if only for a moment. «I wanted to talk

about your father.»

His smile vanished and was replaced by unreachable coldness.

«My God, your curiosity and desire to pry has no boundaries,

does it?»

«Blaize, there are things that need to be decided—his last

wishes, his debts, his belongings...» God, his belongings. She

thought about the diaries she’d discovered, the drawings, the

hidden secrets of her husband’s family that had tainted their

relationships for generations.

He walked to the door and flung it open. «Good morning,

Lady Minshom.»

She held her ground and tried not to cower when he strode

back toward her. At least reading the diaries had confirmed

things about her husband’s past that explained some of his

behavior. She could never forget that when she dealt with him

now.

He frowned down at her as if he could read her thoughts.

«What the devil is wrong with you? I am not discussing my

father with you.»

«But, Blaize...» She gasped as he picked her up and deposited

her outside his door then shut it firmly in her face. She stared at

the dark wood paneling, resisting an urge to pummel her fists

against it and scream her frustration aloud.

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She was back to wanting to scream again and she wasn’t going

to be allowed back into that study today. With a sigh, she picked

up her skirts and headed back along the hallway and up the stairs.

She had a lot to think about. Perhaps Blaize was right after all

and it really was time for her to leave.