I Heart You, You Haunt Me

I heart you, You haunt me

Also by Lisa Schroeder

Far From You

Chasing Brooklyn

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

SIMON PULSE

An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
Copyright © 2008 by Lisa Schroeder
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
SIMON PULSE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Designed by Mike Rosamilia The text of this book was set in MetaBook Roman.
Manufactured in the United States of America First Simon Pulse edition January 2008
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
Library of Congress Control Number 2007929118
ISBN-13: 978-1-4169-5520-7
ISBN-10:1-4169-5520-8
eISBN-13: 978-1-4424-0734-3

For Scott-

I heart you

Acknowledgments

M
Y HEART OVERFLOWS WITH GRATITUDE FOR SO MANY PEOPLE!

Sara Crowe—thank you for your belief in this book from the beginning, and for saying different is good. You’re the best!

Michael del Rosario—what can I say except you are some kind of wonderful, and I so appreciate your enthusiasm.

Jayme Carter, Tanya Seale, and Meg O’Hair—thank you for your willingness to read Ava and Jackson’s story, and for your ideas, your suggestions, and most of all, your encouragement.

Lisa—thanks for creating my music to write by. You rock!

Mrs. Smith, my favorite English teacher—I’m forever grateful for all that I learned from you.

Margie and Dolores—thanks for being my biggest cheerleaders!

To my mom, my dad, my brother, and the Schroeders—your love and support mean the world to me.

Last but definitely not least, Scott, Sam, and Grant—I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me do that which I love to do, and loving me every step of the way. It wouldn’t mean anything if I didn’t have you.

A Way of Black

I’ve never

been to a funeral

until today.

I see

dazzling arrangements of

red, yellow, and purple flowers

with long, green stems.

I see

a stained-glass window with

a white dove,

a yellow sun,

a blue sky.

I see

a gold cross,

standing tall,

shiny,

brilliant.

And I see

black.

Black dresses.

Black pants.

Black shoes.

Black bibles.

Black is my favorite color.

Jackson asked me about it one time.

“Ava, why don’t you like pink?

Or yellow?

Or blue?”

“I love black,” I said.

“It suits me.”

“I suit you,” he said.

And then he kissed me.

I’m not so sure

I love black

anymore.

Colorless

And then,

beyond the flowers,

beneath the stained-glass window,

beside the cross,

I see

the white casket.

I see

red, burning love

disappear

forever.