I Kissed a Rogue (Covent Garden Cubs) (34 page)

Dane handed a glass to her father then cleared his throat. “Brook, we’ll have a drink while you and Lady Lila speak privately.”

Lila started at the unexpected suggestion. Why had the earl told Brook to speak to her alone? She glanced at Brook, but the scowl he directed at his brother did not answer any questions or make her want to speak to him alone.

“What is this about?” her father demanded. “Lila has nothing to say to Sir Brook.”

It still surprised Lila that her father had begun to take her side once again. It was as though now that Valencia was out of the way, he could see Lila again. She mattered again.

“I don’t think that’s quite true,” Brook said, his voice low. He inclined his head toward her. “My lady, if you would give me a moment of your time, I would be obliged.”

Lila narrowed her eyes at the man. This was not Brook. He sounded like Brook and looked like Brook, but Brook was not this polite to her.

“Whatever you have to say to her, you can say with me present,” the duke said.

Brook glanced at Lennox then back to her again. “I can and I will, but I prefer to say it alone.”

“I can vouch for my brother’s good intentions, Duke,” Dane said. “She will be perfectly safe and just on the other side of the door. McKinnon has a small parlor.” He indicated a side door. “Step in there, my lady.”

Brook walked to it and opened the door, gesturing her inside. Lila didn’t quite know how to refuse. She gave her father a little shrug and walked across the room on wobbly legs. She hardly knew how she managed to stay upright, but she made it to the door. She kept her chin up as she passed Brook, buckling slightly when the scents of bergamot and brandy—smells she would now and forevermore associate with him—tickled her nose.

And then she was through the door and she heard it close behind them. She turned, almost falling backward when she all but collided with Brook, who was standing far too close behind her.

He caught her arm to steady her, then released it just as quickly, as though touching her might sully his kidskin gloves.

She stepped back, putting space between them, and waited for him to speak. He stared at her, his mouth in a flat line, his eyes hooded. A bracket clock sat on the table beside her, ticking and ticking in the strained silence. Brook opened his mouth, and she thought he might speak, but he only blew out a breath.

Someone had to say something, and she supposed she had better be the one to begin or they might stand there forever. “This is an awkward situation.”

He drew in a quick breath when she spoke, his gaze flicking to her face.

“After all we have been through, it seems peculiar to stand here and converse”—not that they were conversing—“like strangers.”

“Yes.”

Lila waited, but he didn’t say more.

“I am certain Mr. Scott will be here soon, and then this will all be over. You won’t have to see me again.”

“Right. About that…” But to her dismay, he trailed off and didn’t continue.

“About what?” she prodded. “Is there a problem with the annulment?” It wouldn’t have surprised her, as legally there was no valid reason for annulment. But Brook had the support of the king, and the king could do as he liked.

“I will sign the annulment. If that’s what you want,” he said.

She simply hoped he’d cited fraud as the reason for annulment and not declared her insane. Lila clasped her hands together too afraid to hope. “Isn’t that what you want?”

He didn’t speak. She could see his throat working, and the idea crossed her mind that he might actually be having trouble saying what he wanted. But how could that be? He was Sir Brook: the Inspector; Sir Brook: the Hero. Nothing stood in his way.

“If you’ve reconsidered the annulment because you don’t want to hurt my reputation, I assure you, I will be fine,” Lila said. “I’d much rather a sullied reputation than to stay in a marriage in name only. How awful to have to plan my entire life so I am never in the same place as my husband.” She’d seen marriages like those before—husbands who stayed in the country while their wives were in Town. If the two happened to attend the same function, they pretended the other did not exist.

Lila couldn’t live like that. If she hadn’t loved Brook, it might have been an option. But how could she see him, know he was hers, and also know she could never have him?

“That’s not what I want,” he said finally. “A marriage in name only, I mean.”

She furrowed her brow. “Then you
do
want the annulment?”

“Not if you don’t.”

Lila shook her head, began to speak, then paused, uncertain what to say.

Brook blew out a frustrated sigh. “I suppose I shall have to spell it out for you. You never did make anything easy.”

“As though I’m the one who need apologize,” she said, her temper rising. How dare he act impatient with her! “I am the one who was abandoned.”

“Abandoned?” Brook’s voice rose sharply. “What the devil does that mean?”

“You left me with the Longmires and never even said good-bye. I’d been out all night, fighting Beezle and then my stepmother, and you couldn’t even speak a word to me.”

“I’d been out all night tracking you! And if you recall, I fought Beezle and killed him for you!”

“For me?” She scoffed. “You made it quite clear protecting me and capturing Beezle was your responsibility. I suppose I should not have been surprised that when your task was complete you left me without so much as a by-your-leave.”

“Is that what you think?”

She held her hands out in front of her. “Am I wrong?”

“Yes!” he shouted.

Lila had rarely heard him shout, and she drew back slightly, her gaze drifting to the door where she expected her father to burst in at any moment.

“I left you safe, sleeping under a warm blanket, in the Longmires’ home. That is not abandoning you.” He advanced on her, and Lila held her own, refusing to back down or show her fear. “I fetched the proper officials so I might continue to keep you safe from your stepmother and any other schemes she might have concocted. Had we been in London, the matter would have been dealt with in hours. No one acts quickly in the country. It took almost a week to deal with all the details.” He stood looking down at her, eyes blazing. “Everything I did, I did for you. And what thanks do I receive? You wouldn’t even see me when I called on you.”

“Because there was nothing for us to say to each other!” she shouted back at him. “You made your feelings toward me perfectly clear. You said, ‘There is no hope for you and me.’ I didn’t need to hear it one more time. Even now I can see it pains you to have to be in the same room with me, to speak to me.”

Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them back, biting the inside of her lip to keep it from trembling. There would be a time and place for tears later. Not now.
Not now.

“Is that what you think?” His hands closed like vises on her shoulders. “That it pains me to be here with you?”

He certainly looked pained—pained and angry.

“Yes.”

“You’re wrong.” His hands slid down her arms and took one of her hands in both of his. To her shock and consternation, he slid down to one knee.

“What are you doing?” she breathed in little more than a whisper.

“Probably making a fool of myself. Again.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do. Do you remember our wager at the cottage?”

Their wager? Why did he mention that now? “Yes. I lost.”

“Correct. I won, and now I want to claim my prize. One request. And you must do whatever I want.”

“Are you suggesting—?”

He held up a hand before her voice could rise to a screech.

“Lila, I am asking you to marry me—or rather, stay married to me. That’s what I want for my prize.” He looked up at her, his dark eyes burning with anger, his face a scowl.

Lila shook her head. “No, Brook. I’m sorry. I cannot honor the wager.”

* * *

At her words, Brook died inside. She’d refused him again, and damn him if it didn’t hurt as much this time as the first.

No. It hurt more this time because this time he knew what it was to have her lush body under his, to brush his mouth against hers, to taste her, feel her clench around him when she found release.

The damn woman refused to marry him even when she was
already
married to him!

He released her hand, but he didn’t yet feel stable enough to rise to his feet. He might fall over…or throttle her.

“May I ask why you have refused me?” Not that her refusal meant anything. If he did not want the annulment, it would not go forward. Of course, he’d shove hot pokers under his fingernails before he stayed married to a woman who didn’t want him. He’d sign the bloody annulment and then throw it in her face.

“Brook—”

“A simple answer will do.” He stared at her waist, at the white, gauzy netting that overlaid her apple-green gown. Slowly his gaze traveled up and over her rounded breasts to land on her chin. The chin—a safe spot to pause. “A simple, ‘I lied. I don’t love you’ will suffice.”

She let out a short gasp. “But that’s not true. I
do
love you.”

Was it just his imagination or did her voice catch? She sounded close to tears.

“And now you lie again.”

Too late, he saw her hand strike out. The blow landed on his shoulder and was probably intended to shove him back. He didn’t even sway.

“I am not lying, you obstinate man. I do love you.”

He grasped her wrist and rose to his feet. “Stop saying that.”

“No.”

He expected her to attempt to free herself, to pull her wrist free, but instead she all but fell into him, grasping his coat between both hands. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

He pulled her into his arms and took her mouth with his. He’d missed her lips, the scent of lily of the valley, the way she felt against him.

This was madness.

He tore himself away, his breath coming in harsh gasps.

“How can you expect me to marry you?” she asked, a tear rolling down a cheek as perfect as marble. “I don’t want to be with a man who will never overlook the mistakes I made in the past. Each time I make another mistake—and I will certainly make mistakes—will you throw the past in my face? Will you dredge up my unforgiveable behavior? You cannot forgive me, and you do not love me. I want no part of that marriage.”

She tried to pull out of his arms, but he didn’t release her. He couldn’t release her. Was she correct? Would he always hold on to the past?

“You’re right,” he said, holding fast when she tried to squirm away. “A marriage like that would be sheer hell. And if you were the woman now that you were seven years ago, I could not forgive you. But you’ve changed, and you’re not that woman anymore.” He stroked a finger down her silky cheek, wet from her tears. “The woman I married can admit when she’s wrong. She’s humble, kind, considerate of others. Granted, she can’t cook or make a fire without endangering the lives of everyone around her—”

Her mouth dropped open in shocked outrage.

“But fortunately, I don’t care about her domestic skills.” He grinned. “Because, you see, I have fallen completely, utterly, irrevocably in love with you. And I have completely, utterly, and irrevocably forgiven you for the past. It’s forgotten. It never happened.”

She shook her head as if to deny what he said, but he only nodded more forcefully. “It’s true. And if you marry me again, Lila Derring, I vow always to take the blame for every disagreement we have, always to let you have your way, happily to defer to you in every matter of refurbishment, and to love you with my whole heart from now until forever.”

Lila wrapped her arms about his neck. “You cannot possibly keep all of those vows.”

“I will keep the last. Is that enough?”

“Yes, my darling. My love.” She kissed him lightly. “Yes.”

He pulled her close, drinking her in like a parched man who stumbles upon a verdant oasis. The tender kiss was interrupted when the door to the office slammed open, and her father burst inside.

“What is the meaning of this? What the devil is happening? I heard screams. You, sir, unhand my daughter.”

Dane stumbled in behind the duke. He gave an apologetic shrug. “I held him off as long as I could, Brother.”

Brook hauled Lila against his side. “I’m afraid, Lennox, she is not only your daughter but also my wife.”

“Not for long!” The duke waved the annulment papers in the air.

“Dane.” Brook inclined his head toward the duke.

His brother snatched the papers from the duke, crossed the room, and handed them to Brook. Brook held them up and ripped them in half. “There won’t be an annulment today. In fact, I believe what we need is another wedding.”

“Well done.” Dane clapped.

The duke staggered back. “I don’t understand.”

“I love him,” Lila explained. “And he loves me too. We just needed a moment to settle that.”

She looked at Brook as though to verify it really was true. He had forgiven her. He did love her. He looked at her with all the love swelling in his heart, letting her see it in his eyes.

“I don’t need a second wedding,” she said.

“Oh, yes you do. This time we’ll invite everyone, and it will be the most lavish affair your father’s money can buy.”

The duke didn’t appear to have heard them. He stared at the floor, muttering to himself. “What about the judge?” he asked. “All the arrangements made by the king?”

“Mr. Scott has no idea we expect him,” Brook confessed. “I never intended to let Lila go.”

“Then this was all a ruse?”

Brook shrugged. “I had to see her somehow.” He looked down at Lila. “Do
you
forgive
me
?”

She cradled his face in her hands. “I do.”

Epilogue

Dearest Madeleine,

I have returned from the wedding of my cousin Lady Lillian-Anne to that inspector, Sir Brook Derring. I must tell you that compared to my recent nuptials, this affair was quite vulgar. Our friends have always claimed Lila had good taste, but you and I doubted the veracity of that claim. I am not pleased (at least not very pleased) to be able to say that we were correct in our estimation.