I Need You (Learning to Let Go) (4 page)

“Uh-huh…Tomorrow will be fine. You can drop it off at the shop…No, I’m not home right now, but I promise I will get to it in the morning…I’m out with Sara Lonneman…Yes, that’s right, Bob’s daughter…Ok…You too…Good night.”

Sara’s curiosity was demanding to know who he was talking to. As he lifted himself up into the driver’s side of the truck, she asked, “Who was that, Darrin?”

“Oh, this old farmer that needs some welding done right away. He is at my shop right now and was surprised that I wasn’t there.”

Darrin took a deep breath as he started the truck, the diesel engine sputtering to life. He effortlessly slid the truck into gear and pulled away from Sara’s trailer. “It’s pretty sad that the old bastards are surprised that I’m
not
home on a Friday night,” Darrin nervously said.

Sara turned in her spot, propping her left leg up on the seat next to her. “You told me that you were content to watch the world go by, or some bull like that. What made you change your mind now, Darrin?”

“You, Sara.” Darrin didn’t hesitate in answering.

When he didn’t comment any further, Sara turned back to face the front of the truck and they continued into town in silence. Worrying her lip between her teeth, Sara started to imagine all sorts of things that his words meant. Darrin had already made it very clear to Sara that he had changed his mind about having a physical relationship with her, but they had never discussed what brought about the three-sixty. Was he lonely? Bored? Sexually frustrated? All of the above?

“Penny for your thoughts, Sara?”

Knowing that she wore her emotions on her face, she turned to look out the window as she lied to him, “I was thinking about the farm is all.” Once the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could push them back in. She didn’t want Darrin to think that she was still grieving over the loss of the farm. Already looking like a fool once this evening with the fiasco over her clothes, she wanted to keep things light with Darrin for the rest of the evening.

“I was remembering going down to the lake when we were kids. There was an old rope swing on an abandoned lot and most of my friends from grade school would hang out there when it was hot. We would spend the entire day swinging and jumping into the water, being obnoxious kids.”

Darrin was concentrating on something and hadn’t noticed that Sara stopped talking. The silence in the cab was deafening, so she continued on, “You were always at the farm with my dad, every day during the summer, slaving along. I remember that you could barely sit still long enough to even eat lunch. My dad used to say that you needed to sit on your hands to keep them from moving. I never understood why you would want to spend all your time working away in the dirt, grease and mud, while there were so many other fun things to do.”

That last sentence must have struck a nerve, because Darrin’s emotionless face suddenly turned cold, and he whipped his head towards her. “Just because you didn’t love it, doesn’t mean that someone else wouldn’t, Sara. Christ, your dad was like a father to me; more so than the piece of shit that I was blessed with. He taught me everything I know about fixing anything with a motor. I see those summers a lot differently than you do.”

Sara thought long and hard about what he had said and what he left unsaid. Inwardly cursing herself for bringing up something that she knew would be a buzz kill for the both of them was not what she had intended. Darrin was like a son to her father, but in all reality, she knew that the subject was not something either of them wanted to talk about.

Darrin had grown up near Madison with his younger brother, Corey, but their parents had been crack heads that ended up living on the street with two very young children. Both boys spent years in foster care before their great aunt had legally adopted them and brought them to Amulet to live. Darrin had been barely eighteen when she died, leaving him to raise a young and rebellious Corey on the farm that she left to both the boys.

Sara was a freshman in high school when Darrin decided to enlist in the Marines. Corey had straightened out somewhat, and lived most of his senior year with the Lonnemans. Sara had just graduated from high school when Darrin was honorably discharged from the Corp. The once overly energetic Darrin was back from overseas, but in his place was a cautious, aloof man that was torn up both inside and out. Sara herself had never seen any physical scars, but the pain in his eyes told her that he had been through something awful.

Sara had no idea what to say to him at this point, instead she lay her hand on the seat in between them palm up, hoping that he would reach out to her. Darrin looked down at her proffered hand, unlatched his fingers from the steering wheel and laced them together with Sara’s instead. Darrin looked over at her and gave her a smile before squeezing her hand tightly and then leaving their fingers loosely hanging together. Sara knew that the gesture would mean more to him than any words, so she continued to hold onto him the rest of the way into town in comfortable silence.

T
hey stopped at the convenience store in town and Darrin picked up their pizza, while Sara grabbed sodas, candy bars and paperware. The store was full to the brim with the local crowd fueling up for a night out, buying pizzas or grabbing essentials. Waiting for the line at the check-out to advance, Sara stood next to Darrin, but he surprised her when he pulled her in front, and wrapped his free arm around her waist. He flattened his hand out, leaving it lay on top of her shirt over her tummy. Every time the line would inch forward, he would slide both of them forward, precariously balancing the pizza in his left hand.

Once they reached the check-out, Darrin had pushed her to the side when she offered to pay for what she had in her hands. Scowling at her, he paid for everything, and grabbed all the bags along with the pizza and started walking back out the door. Sara was inwardly glad that he did not want her to help pay for dinner; she had very little money left and payday was another week away yet.

Darrin went directly past the beach access to Lake Amulet and kept heading south and east around the residential side of the lake. Once they had driven by all the cabins and condos, Sara finally realized where he was driving to.

“Do you still own a cabin on the lake, Darrin?”

“Sort of. Aunt Nel had a shack out here, but we had to knock it down last summer; it was in such bad shape. I still own the land and the beach access, but I hardly ever come down here.”

Darrin pulled into a little lot at the end of the road, way back from any other cabins. Sara quickly climbed out of the truck and walked towards the water. The lot was small and had been overgrown with weeds and prairie grasses, but there was still a long dock with a small two-person bench sitting on it.

The view of the lake from this side was breathtaking; the lake was shaped like a great big kidney bean, and they were at the southeastern most point. When you looked to the west, you could see the town of Amulet and then all the cabins and houses wrapped around to the south from there, all the lights twinkling off the water. Directly to their east, just a few hundred yards away from where they were, was a huge cliff that jutted upward from the water and wrapped around to the north, ending just before a clearing that the city owned and where most of the town’s celebrations happened, as well as the public beach access and a few of the more upscale houses in town. The northern half of the “bean” was mostly hills and forests and Sara knew that there was only one cabin on that part of the water, but she had no idea who lived there.

“You want to eat now, Sara?” Darrin yelled from the pick-up.

Sara smiled as she walked back across the lot, swatting at the grasshoppers that were jumping out of the tall weeds. “Sorry, I wanted to see the view is all.”

Darrin had the door of the truck open, and was standing on the running board, leaning in between the door and the frame of the truck. He looked Sara up and down before answering with a grin, “I know. I’ve been enjoying the view myself.”

Sara could feel her cheeks warming as she continued to walk over to the truck. Shaking her head from side to side, she smiled back at him and answered, “Thanks, Darrin. It’s been a long time since anyone has talked about me that way.” Darrin jumped down from the truck, reaching behind him to grab the bags, handing them to her. He grabbed the pizza box and a blanket from the back seat, and started walking towards the water.

There was a small bit of sandy beach on the west side of the dock, and Darrin headed that way. He set the pizza down, and then spread the blanket on top of the sand. He stretched himself out and started to pull Sara down towards him before she could protest. Landing in his lap, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back so that she sat sideways, directly on top of his groin. Once he had gotten comfortable, he rested his chin on her shoulder, leaning against the side of her head.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the water lap against the dock before Sara could feel her tummy protest, especially since there was a mouth-watering pizza waiting for them. She started to wriggle in Darrin’s lap to get him to loosen his hold on her, but instead he gripped her tighter. “You keep moving like that I will pin you down to this blanket and have my way with you, Sara.” Feeling a bit brazen, she did it again, laughing to herself as Darrin growled seductively in her ear, “You’re going to pay for that, doll baby.”

Sara giggled at his term of endearment, as he nuzzled closer to her neck, softly kissing the sensitive skin under her earlobe. Sara’s laughter turned into soft moans of pleasure as he continued to torment her with his mouth, sucking and nuzzling all the way under her jaw, turning her face to move across to her other ear.

All thoughts of eating dinner flew away as he spread his legs out to the sides, letting Sara slip into the cradle of his thighs. Darrin grabbed both of her wrists in one hand, flattening his other hand between her breasts and pushing her backwards, as he used the grip on her wrists to ease her down on the blanket. Once her back was resting on the blanket, he let go of her wrists, but grabbed her right leg and swung it over his head to the other side so that she was resting on top of his thighs. He leaned forward just enough to press a gentle kiss against her belly, before pulling her back up by her arms again. Sara felt like a limp rag doll as he positioned her body where he wanted it, and it felt wonderful to be taken control of again, even if not exactly what she was expecting from Darrin.

Darrin slipped his hands under her T-shirt, skimming his fingers around to her backside. He firmly grabbed her ass, pulling her forward to sit directly on his hardening cock. Sliding his hands up to the clasp on her bra, he deftly unsnapped it, leaving it hanging on her body. Moving his hands around to her ribs, he caught the thin material of her T-shirt, sliding it upwards to expose her bra. Sara grabbed on to his shoulders, relishing the tight muscles that rippled under her fingers.

Letting her shirt sit on the soft rise of her breasts, Darrin cupped her sides with his rough hands, using his thumbs to brush underneath her bra, teasing her nipples. Sara let a soft moan escape her lips as Darrin leaned down to place soft kisses down her neck.

“I’m probably gonna piss you off a lot,” Darrin whispered against her skin as he pulled her T-shirt and bra upwards, releasing her overheated flesh to the night air.

Confused by his words, but unable to form a coherent sentence, Sara could only whimper her answer as Darrin started to suckle on her nipples.

“I work too much, and I’m easy to irritate when I’m tired,” Darrin said as he moved to give her other breast the same attention, this time Sara smiled as she said, “Uh huh.”

Releasing her wet nipple, he sat back and sheepishly looked down to the water before speaking again, “But I will try to be the best boyfriend I can be, Sara.”

Sara took a staggering breath as she closed her eyes, relishing the word,
boyfriend
. Keeping her eyes closed, Sara smiled and then her smile turned into a full blown grin, as she leaned her forehead down to rest against Darrin’s.

“I’ll take you anyway I can get you, Darrin.”

Darrin pulled back from her, cupping her jaw with his hands as he began to passionately kiss her, possessing her mouth until he pulled back. Both of them were gasping for air when he leaned in again, this time slowly teasing her lips with his tongue, slowly gliding his tongue against hers. Sara relaxed in his arms as he continued to make love to her mouth, pulling back occasionally to let them both breathe. Sara was starting to feel lightheaded, when he started to stand up while holding her in his arms. Trying to lock her legs around his waist, Sara could feel Darrin shaking his head, “No, doll baby. Stand up. I want all your clothes off and then I’m gonna lay you down on this blanket and show you how good we can be together.”

Sara obediently put her feet down and backed away from him, as her eyes scanned the beach and lake. For a second, she worried about being completely naked out in the open, but it was so dark on this side of the water. There were no houses for at least a quarter of a mile, so she knew that they were safe unless someone was hiding in the bushes along the edge of the water.