I Promise You (12 page)

With that he
panicked and stuttered. “A few months”

I staggered
back trying to get up out of my seat.

“Months”? It’s over Jack, I don’t ever want to see you or that whore
again and with that I slapped him so hard my hand started to sting, then I got
up, and walked off”

I cried all
the way back to my apartment, the flashbacks started to hit me once I entered
the living room.

Was I going to
relive this nightmare time and time again?

The walls
may have been painted but the scene would always be there.

I wanted so
much for Frank to be waiting for me when I got back.

I needed to
tell him it was over and that I could move on with my life. As I reached for my
phone to call him I hear a knock on my door,
thank goodness it’s Frank
.

I went to the
door and opened it, but before I could close it Jack burst in.

Keep
your friends close and your enemies closer!

Frank
struggled to concentrate at work.  He had meetings back to back and he needed
to deal with the job in hand, but the thought of Autum and Jack meeting
disturbed him.

She wasn’t
strong enough emotionally to see him this soon, all he had to do was woo her
with words and she would take him back
, or would she?

It took all
his might not to bed her when he stayed over that night; but he wanted to do
things right, he wanted her to tell him she loved him and just when he thought
he was making progress Jack entered the picture again.

God! Was life
with Autum always going to be this complicated?

Then he
thought back to that night he stayed over. He had always been a light sleeper,
so when he could hear light footsteps he pretended to still be sleeping.

He could smell
her near him and it was so hard not to open his eyes; he wanted to breathe in
her scent.

 When he felt
her breath by his ear, for a split second he nearly opened them, but then she
spoke.

‘Don’t give
up on me Frank, I want you, and I hope you want me’ then she kissed me.

She wanted
him, he knew that now, but how should he play this. Instead of going home like
he should have, he follows her to meet
him.

He wanted to
see what he looked like, and as he watched people going in and out of the café
he presumed the man that went in by himself must have been Jack, well a few
seconds later it was indeed him.

He could see
Autum occupying a table by the window.

If she ever
saw him, how could he explain his actions? But he just wanted to make sure she
would be ok.

As he sat in
his car watching them, trying to look for anything to suggest that she wanted
him back he saw nothing and that made him sign with relief.

They were
talking as far as he could see for what seemed like ages, she looked ok I think,
and I decided there was no need for me to be here, she looks like she has
everything under control.

As I looked
down to turn the key in the ignition my phone rang so I answered it, I only
looked away for a split second and when I turned back around, Autum was
standing and then I saw her hit him: what the hell happened for her to do that.
I wish I was a fly on the wall at that moment in time, at least I know that
she truly has ended it.

 As I watched
her leave the café she looked upset and was walking quickly, I turned back and
glanced at the café to see Jack still sitting in his seat rubbing his cheek and
that bought a smile to my face
no going back.

She was on the
opposite side from me now and as she levelled my eye contact she had indeed
been crying.

The engine was
now running and I debated on what to do, I thought if I leave it for a while I
could say that I was working late and decided to pass by her apartment to make
sure that she was ok.

I relaxed back
in my car thinking that it sounded feasible when I popped around.

Looking at the
café again I noticed that the table they were both sat at was now empty, I
glanced around the street to see which path Jack had gone, but at the corner of
my eye I thought I saw someone running into her street,
could it have been
Jack
  I wasn’t sure?

I tapped my
fingers on the steering wheel, but could not shake this feeling that something
did not feel right, and with that I indicated to pull out onto the road.

Only passing
by so I can make sure that she is ok,
working late remember?

I still have
her spare key so I let myself into the block and headed for her apartment.

I approach and
I hear muffled noises and thought it was her neighbours, but once I reached her
door and went to knock, the door was ajar.

“Not again”

I
understand now when they say love is blind.

When Jack
burst in, my first instinct was just to run, but before I got anywhere he
grabbed me by my hair and I screamed. ‘What the hell are you doing Jack?’

“No one dumps
me, no one”

‘Please Jack
you’re hurting me’. He puts his hands around my throat and throws me against
the wall cutting off my air supply for a split second.

“Just shut the
fuck up or I’ll gag you” He then continues to drag me through the hallway
before stopping and starts to look around the living room. ‘Well, well, well, didn’t
take you long to redecorate did it? I must admit it looks very classy, do it
all by yourself did you?”

I did not answer
him as he continued to drag me into the kitchen, ‘nice’, and then back towards
the bedroom.

By this time I
started to fight, why would he be taking me to the bedroom, unless?

He would never
try to force himself on me would he? Not Jack this is just not his style he is
just angry.

I felt sick
just thinking about it, but I had no intentions of letting him get me in there so
that I could find out.

I kicked him
and he buckled but not enough to loosen his grip on my hair.

He then wraps
his arms around my waist and picks me up still kicking. Jack uses his
bodyweight to open the bedroom door then flings me on the bed. ‘Whatever’s
going on in that sick head of yours you better forget it’?

Jack’s eyes
looked truly evil, his breathing was heavy and for the first time I was really
scared.

He started to
strip and I knew then what his intentions were, he was going to rape me.

All the while
I was still trying to convince myself that he could never do this to me. Our
years of being together must have counted for something. They say love is
blind, but I must have been blind, deaf, dumb and stupid if I could not see
that Jack had a dark side which he was now going to show to me.

I jumped off
the bed and tried to head towards the door while he was trying to take off his
trousers but he grabbed my arm, turned me around and knocked me back with a
slap across my face.

‘Please Jack’

He stared at
me with the darkest of looks.

‘I told you I
loved you, I begged for your forgiveness but you threw it back in my face, so
now I’ll do the same to you”

I started to
scream when he put something into my mouth, he then tries to lift up my dress,
pinning me down at the same time.

I kicked him
and he slaps me again, this time I saw stars as he catches the corner of my
eye.

He then got
off me and took off his belt, tying my hands behind my back nearly dislocating
my shoulder at the same time, with the force he used. He was laughing at me as
he went on.

‘Just giving
you one last fuck to remember me by’

My face is now
embedded into my pillow and I was struggling to breathe.

He lifts up my
dress, rips off my knickers, and before I knew it, I felt a sharp thrust as he
enters me.

I screamed as
the pain goes through me, the tears rolling down my face,
god, please help
me, what did I do to deserve this?

He continues
his onslaught a few more times, moaning out loud. “This beats phone sex any
day”, he laughs, each thrust more painful than the last as I felt myself going
into some sort of trance, a total shutdown, dead from the waist down, anything
not to concentrate on the pain and the monster doing this to me.

I hear a
voice. 
Don’t let it be Frank, please god anyone but him, he can’t see me
like this, please.

‘What the
fuck’ is all I hear to determine that Frank is now in the room.

I tried to turn
my head more into my pillow, screaming my muffled scream.

I hear Jack
say ‘who the fuck are you? This is a private party.’

Then I heard a
smack, as Jack’s weight now leaves me.

‘You sick
bastard, “whack”, try picking on someone who can fight back, “whack”

I curled up
into a ball as I hear things being smashed around me, the scuffle of two men
fighting.

‘Let go of me
you fuck’ was Jack’s reply.

The noise and commotion
heading towards my front door then “slam” and the place goes quiet.

Frank comes
back in, but as I felt his touch I screamed, it was only then Frank realised
that something was in my mouth.

“Sshhh I won’t
hurt you, I’m just going to untie you”

He slowly
reaches for the belt and loosened it. I quickly take out what he had shoved in
my mouth and took in a few deep breaths as I pull back down my dress.

Frank covered
me with the sheets then pulled out his phone and dialled the police.

‘N...No’ I
said in between breaths, “I can’t do that, please cut off the call”

The voice on
the other end still repeated, ‘which service do you require?”

Frank ended
the call. 

He went out of
the room and brought me some water; too ashamed to look at him I drank it with
my head down.

‘Let me call
Rebecca.’

“No; I don’t
want anyone to see me like this, I don’t want anyone to know about this”

Frank left the
room again, unsure where he had gone, so I called out his name and he returned.

‘I thought you
had gone?”

“No just
running you a bath, I didn’t know what else to do”

‘If you feel
uncomfortable Frank you can leave, I’ll be alright’

‘Jesus Autum,
what sort of fucked up fiancé were you dating, is that how he gets his kicks!’

“How did you
know I was here?”

‘I didn’t I
was working late and thought I would pass by on the off chance’

Good back
up plan.

‘I’m glad you
did, you saved my life’, and with those words I continued to cry, well ball
actually.

He came closer
to hug me then backed off, unsure of what he should do.

‘You’re sure I
can’t call Rebecca, she can look after you if you need a woman to be with, if
you know what I mean’

I looked up
into his face forgetting about the slaps I’d taken earlier. He went to touch me
and again I pulled back.

‘I’m sorry I
wasn’t here to save you, I should have been” Frank was distraught.

‘Don’t do this
Frank’

“I never
thought it would end like this, I never thought he could do this to me”

“I didn’t let
him in, I thought it was you when I heard the door knock, by the time I
realised it wasn’t, he had already burst his way in”

I tried to move
off the bed with the sheet around me, but with every move came pain. Frank put
his arm around me to help me up, and this time I didn’t protest.

He guided me
into the bathroom and turned to walk away.

‘Just call me
when you need me, I will be in the living room’.

“I need you to
help me get undressed, my arms hurt and I need to take my clothes off and get
in the bath”

After some
shaky hands, he helped me out of my clothes and into the bath.

I always
pictured him seeing me naked, but not like this.

‘Burn them’

 As he washed
my back I wandered what was going through his mind. Did he blame me? Would he
still want me because right now I knew I still wanted him?

‘Thanks, you
always seem to be there when I need you’

“But not
today”

“Yes today.
You still came round, if you didn’t” I paused and trailed off.

‘And you don’t
mind me being here?’

“Of course
not, this is not an image you should have seen and I’m ashamed you have”

‘I need to ask
you something, this might not be the right time I know but.’

‘What do you
want to know?”

‘I need to
know would this change, err, how you feel about me, you know, what you
witnessed.”

‘For god’s
sake, of course not, how could you think that of me Autum, after everything
I’ve done for you”

“Well you
know, with what’s just happened and everything else, I needed to know, I
wouldn’t blame you if you did, if this is too much for you just let me know”

‘Ok but there
is something that I will insist on, and I won’t take no for an answer”

‘Demanding
aren’t you?’

“Autum please”

‘What is it?’

“You will not
be staying here anymore”

It was now nine
o’clock, and I had packed a bag with some of my clothes. Frank wanted me to
take some more time off work, but I said no. I just needed to stick to a
routine; I refused to become a victim.

What he did I
would never forgive or forget but it would not ruin my life. Did I want to seek
revenge? Of course I did, but then it would make me no better than that scum.

Frank insisted
that I stayed at his house; he said it was big enough for us to still have our
own space when we needed it,
heard that before!