I Was Jane Austen's Best Friend (5 page)

I’m less frightened of Augusta than I used to be before I went to school and became friends with Jane, but I still have a horrible feeling that she might do me some terrible harm. It’s hard to explain it, but deep down I think that she hates me and wishes that I were not part of her husband’s family. The problem is that my mother left Edward-John the responsibility for me when she died, and Augusta is always whispering to her friends about what a terrible imposition this was on a young man. It makes me very uncomfortable, but there is nothing that I can do about it. I don’t suppose that I will get married either as I have a very small fortune — only fifty pounds a year. In any case, I don’t think that I would be very attractive to men. I remember overhearing Augusta telling one of her friends that Edward-John was sending me to boarding school so that I would be educated to become a governess, and when her friend suggested that I might get married Augusta gave one of her horse-like laughs and said — it’s funny how I still remember the words: ‘
My dear! With that low stature and that kitchen maid’s nose! — Who on earth would ever marry her?
’

And then I think about Captain Williams and how kind he was to his sister …

Saturday, 5 March 1791

My brother and his wife went back to Bristol this morning. Now that I am well again, they said that they were happy to leave me in the good care of my Aunt Austen. Augusta was especially keen on my staying with the Austens. She feels that the country air of Hampshire will be better for me than the city air of Bristol. When I am quite strong enough Jane and I may perhaps go for a holiday to Bristol. Jane thinks that will be exciting, but I have a guilty feeling that I would prefer to stay at Steventon. I think that I will have much more fun here. This house is full of shouts and noisy laughs. Jane’s brothers and Mr Austen’s pupils seem to spend a lot of their time calling jokes down the stairs or teasing each other.

‘We have decided that you won’t go back to that school in Southampton again,’ my sister-in-law said before she left. ‘Mrs Thorpe tells me that there is a very good boarding school at Reading. Her daughter went there. I shall make some more enquiries, but it won’t be worth enrolling you until after Easter.’

‘Don’t you think I’m getting a little old for school?’ I tried to make my voice sound grown-up and sensible when I said that. ‘Jane and I found that we learned very little when we were at school. We could study better at home. There were hardly any books
there, only a few novels from the lending library. Mrs Cawley couldn’t even speak French, and the grammar she gave us to study was too easy. All we did was learn some spellings and do needlework.’ I didn’t tell her that Jane had already suggested to her mother that we both be allowed to join the boys in their lessons with Mr Austen. Mrs Austen was so shocked at that suggestion that she pretended to feel faint. Mrs Austen is a little too tough for fainting, but I think that Augusta, who is very proper, really would faint; the suggestion that we should study by ourselves was a possible one though.

Edward-John was nodding solemnly, but I could see by Augusta’s face that she wasn’t sure so I said very quickly: ‘And of course you would save thirty-five pounds a year by allowing me to study here with Jane. Mrs Austen thinks it would be a good idea.’ I kept it to myself that it was really Mr Austen who thought it was a good idea and that Mrs Austen had sighed and said, ‘Jenny will never get any work done with Jane distracting her.’ She had added though, ‘Still, it would be lovely to keep you, Jenny dear,’ and I thought that was nice of her.

Edward-John and Augusta looked at each other. Then she nodded her head and said, ‘What do you think, Mr C.? I am of the opinion that it would be better, in view of Jenny’s health, if she stays here in the country air.’

‘Perhaps we might engage a drawing master at
some stage,’ suggested Edward-John. ‘Mama thought Jenny’s drawings very talented.’ He shot a quick look at Augusta’s protruding green eyes and pursed-up mouth and then said hastily, ‘Well, we can think about it when Jenny is quite well again.’

I would have loved to ask for a singing master. I remembered the drawing room that I had seen on that terrible night in Southampton where the young lady was singing and playing, and the expression on the faces of the men who stood around the piano listening to her. However, I also took a look at Augusta’s face and knew that it would be ridiculous to expect that she would allow Edward-John to spend an unnecessary penny on me.

‘I promise that I’ll work hard and give no trouble to Mrs Austen.’ I knew by their expressions that I had said the right thing, but inside I felt worried. How long would the Austens, with their big family and their pupils, want to keep me?

After they had gone, Jane came into my bedroom to tell me the news that her brother Frank had bought a new pony for himself from the money he had got when he was on board his ship.

I told her that I got all her brothers muddled up, and she suggested that she help me to draw little pictures of them in my journal and then I would know them all as I met them.

I will start a new page so that as we draw she cannot see what I have written about her!
Jane says I must write exactly as she describes so as to capture her brothers most accurately:

James — the eldest. He is ten years older than Jane — he has blond hair and grey eyes, and his nose and chin are quite neat. Jane says that I have captured his fussy, fidgety look just right.

Edward — adopted by rich relations in Kent. Jane has given me a miniature of Edward to copy, which he gave her as a gift last Christmas. She says he wears a wig to show how rich and splendid he is.

Henry — four years older than Jane. He looks just like her, with hazel eyes and dark curly hair. Jane says Henry is tremendously handsome and all the girls love him!

Cassandra (Jane says I must draw her too). I have seen her quite a few times so I know what she looks like, but Jane says I must
give her a dreamy look as she is in love with Tom Fowle, one of Mr Austen’s pupils. I’m not sure how I should draw someone in love, so I hope I have it right.

Frank — a year older than Jane (the same age as me) and a midshipman — I did my best with Frank’s collar, but Jane had to sketch it for me. I don’t think I have ever seen a midshipman, though I have seen a captain and I’m sure I could sketch a captain’s uniform.

Charles, whom I’ve met — he’s only eleven and quite like Frank but with a rounder face. He’s hoping to go to naval college next year.

I told Jane I thought she was very lucky to have five brothers.

Jane laughed. ‘Five … well.’ There was something odd about her expression and a sort of dryness in her voice.

I just turned back to the page where I have drawn Captain Thomas Williams. My journal opened automatically at that page and I could see that the corner of the page was a bit dog-eared. I don’t think Jane saw …

Sunday, 6 March 1791

Jane’s brother Frank came in to see me today. He is on shore leave from his ship, where he is a midshipman. He looked quite like the picture that I had drawn of him, but his hair was even curlier. He is my age and the nearest in the family to Jane.

He was quite like Jane, very chatty and very funny. He just came into my room, sat on the bed and asked me how I was and then started doing imitations of the first lieutenant, who was a silly numbskull according to Frank, and of the captain, who was as old as the hills. Frank stumped around the room to show us what the captain was like on deck when a wind was blowing and how once he stumbled when his legs got tangled in a sail and he lay stretched out on the deck until the mate pulled him to his feet. Frank found that very funny, but said that all the sailors had to pretend not to notice in case they would be flogged for insubordination. Then Frank did a good imitation of the captain lying stretched out on the floor, thrashing about with his legs, trying to dislodge the heavy sail.