Ice Steam (Loving All Wrong #3) (12 page)

“Sis is gonna take a bit of getting used to,” Xavier mumbled as he walked over to the sliding glass doors with the tray of food. Pausing at the doors, he glanced at me over his shoulder and tipped his head to indicate the doors, saying, “Get this for me?”, even though he was competent enough to balance the tray with one hand and slide open the door with the other.

I didn’t want to move. What I wanted was for him to put the flipping tray down, pick
me
up instead, throw me on the bed, and eat
me
. I tried to convey this with a warm, sultry leer, but all he gave me was a taunting smirk. It was then I figured out his machination: he was deliberately fueling the sexual frustration inside me. He
got off
on watching me crave him.

Bastard!

The sigh that left me was loud and infelicitous as I slid off the dresser, stomped over to slide the doors open, then glared up at his cocksure face before stepping out onto a wide, breezy balcony that afforded an astonishing view of the beach.

Darkness caught us on said balcony, eating and talking and teasing as we watched the sun slink behind the horizon.

He asked a lot of questions about Jacob and wanted to know when he could meet him. I told him that depended on where we landed up as a couple, as I didn’t intend on bringing someone who wasn’t permanent into Jacob’s life. I also requested he kept the child bit a secret for now because of the modeling. He agreed, said he understood, not knowing all that was a bunch of bull.

The
real
reason he couldn’t meet him was because one peek at Jacob would unravel the truth. The older Jacob got, the more he resembled his father. Keeping Jacob out of sight was the only way to keep my lies alive.

As the stars began bursting out in sparkling groups on the arching blanket of blue-black sky, Tex came and curtailed our moment. Benny Stucco, their manager, had showed up and called an impromptu meeting, pronto.

Xavier kissed me, whispering steamy promises for later before stepping back into the room. But Tex lingered, rocking, staring, hovering over me like a cloud of fire over a sinner’s roof.

“Problem, Tex?” I heard Xavier ask from inside the room, as if noticing his band mate wasn’t following him out.

Tex rubbed the back of his neck. “You mind...you mind if I catch a quick word with her?”

Steady silence on Xavier’s end, then, “Timing you.” Heavy footfalls faded out of the room.

Eying me, Tex hesitantly sat down across from me, rested his elbows on the table, relocated them to the chair handles instead, then leaned forward and rested them on the table again.

I’d hate to think an illustrious rock star like Tex Laklin, who had women throwing their thongs at him on stage all the time, would have the gall to be agitated in front of
me
.

“She’s happy,” I said, launching the conversation for him, seeing as he didn’t seem capable of finding the words himself.

Ice-blue eyes flicked to mine, and he opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again to ask, “The rumors, are they true? Is she really—”

“Pregnant?” I finished. “Yes, she is.”
For a third time, actually.
But the public didn’t know of her previous miscarriages. Saskia was private, she had a killer PR and a stern manager, getting scoops on her personal life was like trying to catch fireflies in daylight, so whenever a rumor popped up about Saskia Day, people questioned it a million times over before believing it, because half the time the rumors turned out to be falsities.

The lead singer looked devastated by this confirmation. Was he sane? He dropped his head, over fourteen inches of jet-black hair hiding his face.

“It’s been
years
, Tex,” I said in a slow, gentle voice. “Did you really believe there was still a chance?”

For several minutes, he said nothing. So I didn’t either. Sometimes silence was all a heart in pain needed, someone who’ll listen to the words unspoken and understand.

And boy, did I understand. My situation didn’t differ much from his. Except I knew how to hold my shit together.

“Since she dumped me, I’ve been playing every single moment I spent with her over and over in my head, trying to pinpoint where I went wrong, what I did or didn’t do to make her give up on us. I never once screwed around on her, I never once treated her any less than my queen. I was all about her. I was
all
about her. And one night she just…gave me the best stab of my life then broke up with me.” He raised his head and looked across at me, searching for answers I didn’t have. “She ever told you…what I did wrong? Why she left me?”

Reaching across the table, I placed a hand over his. “I’m not Kia, so I can’t give you the closure you need. But I can assure you that
you
weren’t the problem. Her heart was just…elsewhere.”

“She said that?”

“Yes.”

“Was it him?”

“Yes.” I consolingly rubbed the back of his tattooed hand. “You’ve got to let her go, Tex. She’s gone. Forever.”

Placing his other hand above mine, he brought both our hands upright and lowered his forehead to them, as though he were trying to feel Saskia through me. As if living with her had somehow made me a part of her. Or maybe I was just the closest he’d ever get to being near her again. I had no idea. No idea what this meant for him, so I just let him hold my hand to his forehead.

We remained like that for quite some time, until I heard footfalls, then Xavier materialized at the sliding doors.

My eyes went to him, and his eyes went straight to my hand sandwiched between Tex’s. Jaw tightening, those eyes came back to me.

All I could offer as explanation was a one-shoulder shrug, while Tex, oblivious of Xavier’s return, still had his forehead pressed to our hands, prompting me to wonder if he’d fallen asleep or something.

Xavier shook his head, and in one swift motion yanked Tex up by his collar and flung him against the railing.

“Your shit, get it together,” he said without even a slight raise to his voice, but the menace was undeniable. “She’s not Saskia. Not even related to her. You need to stop this shit, man. We’re all sick of it.”

Tex swept his long, black hair from out of his face, working his jaw. His head tilted a little to the side as he glanced over at me, then he dipped his chin and looked at Xavier. “Don’t fall in love with her. The day you get your heart blown wide open, you’ll understand the impossibility of
getting your shit together
.” He pushed off from the railing, tilting his head to me again. “You say it’s been years. You think I should be over this by now because ‘time heals’, right?
Wrong
. Time’s nothing but eternal torment when you’re
dead
.”—Pause—“Saskia Day killed me.”

Shouldering past Xavier, he marched through the room and out the door.

Face impassive, Xavier studied me for several heartbeats, combed his fingers back through his hair, then turned and left without a word.

Goddamn broken, melodramatic rock stars.

While Xavier was in his meeting, I stayed out on the balcony and Skyped Saskia so I could see my son. But she reminded me that I’d permitted Saturdays to Dave Hamilton, Jacob’s grandfather. We chatted for a bit as I gave her updates, omitting the episodes with Tex,
and
that he had a knife in her heart on his bedroom door. She was already going through a tough pregnancy; I didn’t need to bog her down with that kind of drama.

I did, however, ask her about Xena, and she cautioned me to be careful because Xena was a lot smarter than she pretended to be and had split personalities. She went on to divulge that she and Xena never got along because once when Tex left his cell at her place, a text came in from Xena: a selfie of her wearing only her underwear. When she confronted Xena about the text, she broke down and admitted she had an epic crush on Tex since she was in high school but hid her feelings because she knew Xavier wouldn’t allow it.

Can’t say I didn’t pick up on that in the movie room.

After hanging up with Saskia, I rang Dave Hamilton but had to listen to Jacob’s gabbling over the phone since Grandpa Hamilton had no clue what Skype was.

By the time I padded back into the room it was almost ten o’ clock and Xavier still hadn’t returned.

I showered and got dressed in Xena’s pajama set, then immediately stripped naked again and climbed into bed, deciding that sleeping nude was most feasible of galvanizing Xavier into playing “lick and stick” with me tonight.

I drew the silk covers up to my neck sighed up at the ceiling. Davian hadn’t come to Beach Rock at all, and I knew Zach had to have told him by now that he saw me.

I wasn’t sure what I expected. For him to rush over to Beach Rock and hug me, expressing how overjoyed he was to see me? No, not that, because then Xavier would know I’d lied.

Besides, with the abrupt manner in which Davian had dropped out of my life like a power outage right in the middle of your favorite TV Show, I doubt he’d come running like that.

Nonetheless, I expected him to
show
, if even as a pretext of borrowing sugar, while darting his gaze around to check if I was truly there, hooking up with a Ninety Miles member.

I couldn’t let myself believe he didn’t care an iota if I were dead or alive. I didn’t want to believe he was wholly happy and in love with Jessica Stucco. I didn’t want to believe he’d forgotten Alina O’Hara existed.

I wanted to believe there was a chance.

But the fact of the matter was, he
didn’t
show.

Because he
didn’t
care.

I
’m a light sleeper, so I was awake the second the door opened and a splice of light sliced through the darkness. I gave no indication I was conscious, though, anticipating what he would do when he discovered me nude beneath his silks.

There was a pause at the bedroom door, the slice of light disappearing as he closed the door. Footfalls sounded across the floor, not towards the bed.

A switch flipped, light invaded the darkness again, and then I heard him moving around in the bathroom. The shower came on, ran for about eight minutes, then he was out, the lights went off, and he was at the bedside.

As he flipped the covers back, cool air tickled my bare ass. A long, long pause ensued, a gravelly expletive, and then the mattress concaved with his weight. He scooted up behind me and my heart went into a tizzy, banging around in my chest. I felt his damp chest to my back at the same time I felt
it
, poking my rear.

An orgasm teetered right at the tip of my clitoris, and I curled my toes.

“Chino?”

I didn’t answer, even though I was eager to spread wide for this man.

Churning out another expletive, he reached over my head to switch on the bedside lamp, then pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder as one big paw smoothed down to my ass, delivering gentle, rousing rubs. “Chino, babe, please…” More swearing. “I can’t…”

Lips curving, I rolled over to face him. “You’ve been gone a while.”

Xavier made it clear he wasn’t in the talking mood when his mouth met mine before I could even finish the sentence. I pushed up against him, breasts crushing to his chest as he forced one of his thick thighs between both of mine, providing me something to grind my folds against.

I knotted my fingers in his damp waves, matching his driving need, his urgency, his fierce desire, determined and impatient.

He groaned. I swallowed it.

I was soaked, on fire for him, rocking against his thigh, coating it with my juices.

I’d thought about this moment all week, about letting Xavier
inside
me, what it would be like. Now the moment was here, and I was so heady I couldn’t remember my son’s name.

Taking charge, I pressed my palms to his chest and shoved him on his back, promptly straddling him. The strained, desirous expression on his face was nearly enough to make me come right there on his abs.

From my view looking down, he was breathtaking. He had brooding-gray clouds and lightning storms in his eyes, and I wanted to ride him out to a quiet calm.

Leaning down, I peppered kisses over his famed pecs, circling the center of my palms over his taut nipples. His fingers dug into my hips, watching me, cock twitching behind my bum.