Iced Romance (14 page)

David seems like such a sure-of-himself kind of guy. But with romantic things he seems so insecure. It’s refreshing after years of Todd’s arrogance.

The boardwalk leads us out to a point overlooking a deep lake and in front of us there is the island. Dozens of gators lie in the sunshine, soaking up the rays. They are huge. Tiny birds flit around, jumping on the gators backs and walking on the grass beside them.

“Holy cow,” I breathe in wonder. “I’ve never seen this many alligators before.”

David nudges me and points down. I look through a mesh guardrail and see in the water below us huge creatures swimming around. There must be hundreds of alligators in this area. The ones below are just shadows, their bodies submerged in the gloomy water, their eyes and teeth sticking out on the surface.

“Still have your hot dogs?” David opens his bag and takes out a hot dog. He pushes it through the mesh and it falls into the water with a splash. I watch fascinated as the nearest alligator dives and gobbles it up in one bite.

“They move so fast! Can you imagine meeting one of these in the wild?” I shudder slightly. David pushes another hot dog through and I watch, spellbound, as three massive gators rush toward it.

“My turn.” I open my hot dog bag, pull one out with two fingers and toss it over into the water. “This is so much better than feeding ducks!”

Over a loud speaker we hear the call for a Gator Jumping show and from where we stand we see a man dangling a piece of chicken on a rope high above the water. An alligator swims up and leaps out of the water, probably a good six feet in the air to chomp down on the meat.

I am impressed beyond belief. I shoot David a teasing look. “How high can you jump from a lake?”

David grins. “Well, we’ll just have to go swimming sometime soon and find out, won’t we?”

Okay, planning a swimming activity? He’s definitely interested, and the thought makes me blush a little. Maybe this date isn’t a total disaster after all.

We continue on, walking through a breeding marsh and along a swamp boardwalk. The brightly colored birds are incredible. Blue, red, orange, yellow. Some flamingos stand lazily and gaze at us as we walk by.

“So this is what Florida looked like before people came here,” I comment after reading a sign posted near a bench.

“The explorers who came through here were amazed at Florida,” David says, pointing out a snake creeping through some tall grass. “They thought they had reached the legendary Garden of Eden itself, that is, until they spotted their first alligator. I’m sure they changed their opinion about this being a paradise after that.”

The sun beats down on us and the humidity seems thicker than usual this close to the swamp. We toss our remaining hotdogs over the railings, aiming at some nearby gators. Mine hits the alligator in the jaw, but he merely tilts his head and looks at it.

“They must be the best fed alligators in the world, huh.” I see a family of five tossing their own hotdogs over the railing farther down, and shake my head. “Or the worst. Can you imagine being fed hotdogs all day long?”

David pulls me down beside him on the bench. “As long as they are barbequed, I’d be all for it.” He puts his arm along the back of the bench and I snuggle down into his shoulder.

We stay like that for a few minutes, the silence feeling warm and safe. Birds chirp, people laugh and talk, sauntering down the path around us.

“So tell me, other than Canada, have you always lived in Colorado? What about your family? School? Have you always been a waitress?” I jerk forward, startled at the words. They seem so loud after the serenity of the swamp.

“Uh,” I begin, not sure what to say. I’d decided this morning that I don’t want to tell him about Todd. It was one thing pouring my heart out to Jesica about him. I don’t want to burden David with a lot of baggage about a dirty ex. In fact, I don’t want to tell him anything about my past, actually. My past is not something I’m proud of anymore. No degree, no career to speak of, not to mention the humiliation of having lived five years with a cheater. I want to forget it all. Besides, why does that matter? What’s done is done, right? I’ll give him the Cole’s Notes version. “Well, I was born in Portland, Oregon. I went to school in Vancouver though, which was fun. Then after my mom died, I went to Boston to live with my grandma. I went to college out there. After college I went to Canada for a while and then I moved to Colorado.”

My hands are clenched in my lap. I hate talking about this. What if David asks what I got my degree in? How stupid will I look when I tell him that no, actually, I didn’t graduate because I was so in love with the idea of dating a soon-to-be famous hockey player that I figured education was pointless.

And then there’s the small fact that I don’t want to think of Todd. Yet everything in my past makes me remember him. How he would put his arm around me, the way David is doing now. And we’d sit on the porch of our penthouse and sip wine and he’d brag about how awesome he had done at practice that day. His blonde hair always shone in the sunset light, and I would think to myself how incredible it was that he was mine.

“You look lost in thought.” David gazes at me, something illegible written on his face. “Happy thoughts, obviously. Your eyes were smiling.”

Not happy. Todd thoughts are not happy thoughts. I brush away the picture I have of Todd in my brain and stand up.

“Come on, let’s go check out the petting zoo.” I hold out my hand. I can tell that he’s wondering what just happened, but I don’t want to go there. I refuse to allow for any more questions about back then.

David stops and I look over my shoulder at him. He smiles, pulls me in closer and leans down. “Look, I’m not going to pry. I get it. Some things are harder to talk about than others. I just want you to know that I think you’re beautiful.”

His face is getting closer and my stomach flutters. He’s going to kiss me. I lick my lips, praying that they won’t be dry. I am panicked. I haven’t kissed anyone but Todd in forever. What if I do something wrong? What if I’m a bad kisser? What if—

And then he’s kissing me. His lips are firm and strong, like him. It is hesitant at first and then grows stronger. His tongue separates my lips and I close my eyes, completely lost in the moment. My world is spinning. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for another kiss.

And everything is perfect.
He
is perfect.

So why the heck am I still thinking about Todd?

I feel a twinge of deep, hidden grief, and try to ignore it. I can’t let Todd ruin this moment. I force him from my thoughts, and kiss David back with even more passion. My lips burn, my heart is beating erratically. David’s hands on my back are so solid. Safe.

When he pulls back, his blue eyes, clear as the sky above us, search my face. “I’ve wanted to do that ever since I picked you up this morning. Actually, ever since that first day in the diner, but I figured you’d have me thrown out by a bouncer or someone.”

I laugh at the expression of mock concern on his face. “A bouncer? The only guy in Maxie’s who would ever remotely resemble a bouncer is Gary, the cook. But I doubt he’d care if I got manhandled in the restaurant. He probably wouldn’t even notice!”

“Well, if I’d have known that, I wouldn’t have had to wait until today.”

“I’m glad you did. Wait, that is. I’m glad you waited until a perfect moment like this.” And I am smiling, and he is smiling, and the world seems like such an amazing place.

I’ll get over Todd. I will.

In fact, I’ll mail him another piece of the jersey tonight. Maybe I’ll even stuff two shreds of fabric in the envelope. That ought to help the healing process move along.

With that decided, I take David by the hand and we make our way over to the petting zoo and stage area. It’s gator wrestling time!

What do I know?

I know I like David. He makes me feel safe. He makes me laugh. And he set off incredible emotions when he kissed me today. Like fireworks.

But Todd won’t leave me alone. Whether I’m daydreaming about our good times, wishing he were dead, plotting new ways to harass him, or simply hurting as I remember the shock of finding out that he’d cheated, he’s never far from my thoughts. I am obsessed with him. He’s gotten into my blood like a poison.

Todd? David?

I’m so confused. I need to talk to Jesica about this, but I haven’t seen her except in passing on the street since our dinner two days ago.

I have never been this conflicted in my life.

I have no idea what time it is when I finally drift asleep, but the next thing I know it’s seven o’clock and my alarm clock is humming loudly.

I paw at my night stand, eyes shut and feeling for the clock with my fingers but don’t connect. Finally, when I can stand the noise no longer, I shake the grog out of my head and open my eyes. Orange and yellow from the sunrise peek in through the curtains. I squint around the still dark room and finally see my alarm clock across the room. Ugh. I have to get out of bed for this one.

I stumble across the room, hit the off button on the alarm clock and sink onto the carpeted floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and yawn. I am so tired. My eyes are heavy, my body isn’t responsive the way it should be.

I lean against my dresser and slowly memories of yesterday return. David’s kiss. Another jersey piece in the mail for Todd. How conflicted I am.

I need to disappear. I need to run away from everything. But I don’t think it would help, not this time. I’ve already tried running away from Todd, but the memories followed anyway. And now I’ve got David mixed up in all this, at least in my mind.

I rub my fingers over my forehead and try to make sense of my life. Nothing comes together, there is no flash of light.

Maybe a shower will fix me.

Half an hour later I am showered, with dry hair, and wearing my uniform. I don’t work until nine, and I can’t stay in my apartment one second longer. I think I may go crazy with all my stupid thoughts.

I grab my purse and keys, lock up my apartment, and head out toward Main Street. I think today warrants a breakfast, maybe some nice pancakes and syrup or even just a boiling hot coffee and muffin. I wander along, looking for somewhere to go.

Up ahead, not too far from Mama’s restaurant, I see a little coffee cup lit up in neon green lights. It’s no Starbucks, but I see a few people inside and figure it can’t hurt to try. I enter, order a chocolate muffin and a coffee, and sit down at a table to wait.

A newspaper is on the table in front of me. The pages are a little crumpled, showing that someone in here before me already read through it, but, for lack of anything else to occupy my mind, I pick it up.

I open the front page and stop, my eyes widening and my eyebrows rising. You have got to be kidding me!

“Marusiak Fiancée Presumed Missing!”

My face is plastered on the page. It’s a horrible picture of me, one that was taken at a function for one of Todd’s many endorsement deals. I’m wearing a white dress, making me look even more pale and washed out than ever. My hair is pulled back in a bun because earlier that evening Todd had been hollering for me to hurry up and I’d had no time to do anything else.

I read the article, my lips forming some of the words as they jump off the page at me. Marusiak reported her missing. Last seen a week and a half ago. Possibility of foul play. Engagement ring found at pawn shop. I am getting to the part of the article where they interview sweet old Mrs. Lawrence when I am interrupted.

“Here you go, miss.” A barista who looks about eighteen places a steaming coffee in front of me, along with a little china plate holding my muffin.

“Thanks,” I reply, covering my face in the paper with my hand without making it seem too obvious.

“You look really familiar,” the guy continues. “Do you come in here often?”

I force a laugh. “Uh, kind of. I think I have one of those familiar faces, you know.” Oh God, this is bad. Please, don’t look at the newspaper.

Somehow, despite me running away, Todd’s ghost has managed to follow me here.