If a Tree Falls at Lunch Period (9 page)

Balderis smiles—a real smile—the first he has ever directed at me. Oh great. Now
he's
going to be disappointed in me, too. I need to wear a sign:
DO NOT PIN YOUR HOPES ON ME. LETTING DOWN MY PARENTS IS A FULL-TIME JOB. I HAVE NO ENERGY LEFT TO DISAPPOINT ANYONE ELSE.

"Walk, Matteo, Sophia..." He hands each of us the extra-credit assignment.

"Think about this," Balderis says. "Make a choice. Then let me know your topic tomorrow."

Just because I raised my hand doesn't mean I'm actually going to do the assignment. What is he thinking?

"Sophia, you want to work with Matteo? Walk, how about you and Kirsten pairing up?"

I look down at the page. The title is in bold type: Partner Current Events Project.

"Sure," Walk says; he comes over to my desk. "Hey, Kirsten. You want to meet at the library after last period and we can get on this?"

Today? Who starts a project the first day?

"No, wait." He catches himself. "I got science study group today. How about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is good." I can manage to get cholera by tomorrow. Typhoid fever ... West Nile virus. There's got to be at least one mosquito with West Nile virus flying around Mill Valley tonight.

Even so, I'm in a better mood the rest of the day.

The next day, Kirsten is in the library after school. She has the kind of face that looks like she should be out selling Girl Scout cookies. Wouldn't do well, though: somebody'd steal her cookies. No street smarts, that girl; wouldn't last ten minutes at City.

When Kirsten sees him, she smiles a big old needy smile. Walk takes a step back.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi," she says. She pulls back her chair, scraping the floor. Dorarian frowns at Walk. Walk smiles and waves. Dorarian does not smile. Matteo has Dorarian all wrapped up in a little box tied with a bow, but Walk hasn't made a bit of progress with her, yet.

"I read it," Kirsten says, her blue eyes big.

"What?"

"The assignment."

She wants a gold star for
reading
the assignment? "Yeah, okay ... You get a newspaper?"

"Oh." She nods, like Walk just gave her something really complicated to do. She doesn't move.

"What?" Walk asks.

"I didn't do it, you know. Steal Balderis's wallet. Brianna admitted she did it."

"Never thought you did."

She nods. "Yeah, thanks, you know, for that."

"But can I ask you something?" Walk taps his pencil against the table. "Why do you hang with her?"

"Who?"

"Brianna."

"I have lots of ... I sit with lots of people." She tosses her hair over her shoulder. "Rory, Madison..."

Walk snorts. "Your momma never taught you to stay away from snakes?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Somebody treat me the way Brianna and Rory treat you, I wouldn't go eating lunch with them."

Her lip gets shaky; she starts breathing fast.
Oh no.... She's going to cry.

"Listen," Walk blurts out, "we eat at the back corner table, then we head down to the library. You can sit with us."

Walk can't believe he just said this. What is his problem?
You a fool,
he tells himself.

But the girl is smiling so big, he can't take it back now.

At the cafeteria the next day, I head for Walk's table. My head is busy planning what to say.
Can I sit with you guys today?
Dumb.
How about hi? Hi is good. Everybody says hi.

But no one's sitting at Walk's table. Oh great. What am I going to do now? Rory's sitting with Maya and Lauren. Madison and Brianna aren't there yet. I don't want to sit with them, but who else am I going to sit with? Maybe if I eat fast, I can get out of there before Brianna shows up.

"Kirsten?" Rory smiles like the old Rory. Without thinking I sit down next to her like she's still my friend.

Brianna's seat is empty, just waiting for her to arrive. No one would dare put their stuff on the Queen's seat; it's permanently reserved for her.

I'm just about ready to get out of there when suddenly she and Madison show up. Brianna slams her books down, sending Rory's chips flying.

"I can't even believe it. I totally, totally can't believe it," Brianna says.

"What?" Maya asks.

"I got a fail test notice from Balderis for the test last Friday, but I
didn't
fail. I got a C."

Maya shrugs her narrow shoulders. "It's a mistake."

"I just spent the last half hour talking to him. Turns out he's taking off two hundred points for bad behavior—that's what he called it—because of the day we were playing around with his wallet."

The wallet.
I shift position on the round saucer seat, which is built for a bikini-size butt, not one the size of mine.

"I worked it out with Fishhouse," Brianna continues. "It's totally not fair for Balderis to dock my grade now. It is so wrong. So, so wrong. I got a C!"

Everyone is looking at her. I don't know whether to look or not look.

"Bet anything you're going to get one, too," Brianna tells Rory.

"I got a B plus on Balderis's test," Rory whispers.

"Minus two hundred points is an F," Brianna tells her. "It wasn't even a regular school day. We were, like, helping him. How can he take off for that? It's so totally bogus."

"We can't fail," Rory says, "or they won't let us in the talent show."

Lauren tosses her Cleopatra hair. "Go talk to Fish-house," she says.

"Yeah," Madison agrees.

"I will. Maybe we both should?" Brianna looks at Rory.

Rory stares at the pocket of her backpack where she always keeps her inhaler. Her nostrils are flaring like she really needs it, but it makes her look weird, so she doesn't get it out. Better to die than that.

"At least you don't have Dolman," Brianna tells Rory. "Practically everyone fails at least one test from Dolman."

Rory says nothing.

Brianna looks around. "What's
your
problem?" she suddenly asks me.

"Nothing," I say.
I'm just sitting here perfecting the totally blank look. Blank Looks "R" Us.

"I expect you to help
me
with this, too, you know."

"Me ... I...
me?
"

"I could have let you take the rap and then I wouldn't be in trouble. But I didn't. I got you out of it."

"Yeah, but ... but..."

"I try really hard to be a
nice
person and look out for my friends. We are
friends,
right?" Brianna asks, her voice soft, her mouth open, her eyes totally sincere.

Is she kidding me? After yesterday?

She stares at me so intensely it feels like there is no one in the cafeteria but her and me.

"What do you want from me?" I whisper, or maybe I just think I say this. Maybe I say nothing.

"Oh come on, Kirsten, don't look so worried," she says. "I really like you, you know. I really do."

I have to get out of here.

She seems to already know this. She picks up my backpack and hands it to me and I start walking.

I glance back at her expecting her to be mad, but her face is shining. She's waving her hand.

I smile back. I can't help myself.

Then I see she's waving to a dark-haired eighth grader who is the cutest guy in the whole school.

Walk doesn't see Kirsten at lunch for a day or two. He figures she isn't going to take him up on his offer. But then on Monday she's headed for his lunch table. Of course it was too much to hope she'd turn him down. "Yo, Kirsten." Walk makes room for her.

Kirsten smiles and giggles. "Hi." She kicks her legs over the seat.

"Hi," Matteo says.

Hair Boy and Jade just stare.

"Do you have candy?" Jade asks.

"I wish," Kirsten says. "The office lady does, though. Sometimes she'll give you a piece."

"Not here today," Jade answers. "And neither is her candy."

Jade's a candy-head. Her lunch bag looks like she's been out trick-or-treating with it. No sandwich, no fruit, no chips, just candy, only today she forgot her bag.

"Hey, how many bathrooms you have?" Walk asks.

"Me?" Kirsten shifts on her seat.

"We've been talking about how rich people have a lot of bathrooms," Walk explains.

"Way more than the number of butts in the house," Jade says. "Seems like there ought to be a law against having more bathrooms than you have butts."

"A butt law?" Kirsten asks.

"Buttocks Law: a special section of the penal code," Walk says.

"Penal code?" Matteo cracks up.

"What's the most bathrooms you've ever personally seen in one house?" Hair Boy wants to know.

"Five," Jade says.

"I've seen seven," Matteo answers.

"Ten," Kirsten blurts out.

"Ten? If you have ten bathrooms, how do you decide which one to use? Are they color coded?" Walk asks.

"Maybe you pee blue in the blue bathroom and taupe in the taupe bathroom," Kirsten suggests.

"What color do you pee if it's wallpaper with a pattern?" Jade asks.

"Good question," Kirsten answers.

"No, really. How many bathrooms do you have?" Jade's weird green eyes focus on Kirsten.

"Three and a half," Kirsten says.

"A half a bathroom. What is that?" Walk asks.

"Just for one cheek," Kirsten explains.

"What you do with the other cheek?" Jade wants to know.

"Strictly for show," Kirsten answers.

"Can't turn the other cheek if you only have one," Matteo offers.

"But there are problems with one-cheek butts," Kirsten says, her face all serious now. "You have to get your pants tailor-made, go online to buy special chairs."

"Are there support groups?" Jade asks.

"Yes," Kirsten says. "And a website, onecheekbuttocksdotcom, for all your one-cheek accessories."

By the time Dorarian appears with her blue fur thermos, everyone is cracking up. Then they all start walking to the library, like Kirsten's been hanging with them for weeks. This is so weird.

"You guys done with Balderis's extra credit?" Matteo asks.

"Just putting the finishing touches, buffing it all up, man," Walk tells him.

Matteo looks at Walk then Kirsten. "You're not done, are you?"

Walk gives him an ugly look. "Shaddup," he says.

"What did you pick?" Matteo asks.

"Cloning," Walk tells him. "I'm for it because the world needs more MLKs, JFKs, and Boutros Boutros-Ghalis."

"Boutros Boutros-Ghali? Who is he? She? Them?" Kirsten asks.

"Him. It's one guy. He ran the United Nations," Walk tells her.

"Really? Boutros Boutros-Ghali like I could be Kirsten Kirsten-McKenna?"

"Hair Hair-Boy," Hair Boy says.

Jade flips her skateboard over. She taps her leg like she's calling her dog. "Here, here boy."

"Shut up," Hair Boy says, jumping on his skateboard and tearing after her.

In the library, Walk pulls Kirsten aside. "Hey, you gotta finish your extra credit this weekend, okay?"

"I thought we were done?" Kirsten says.

"No, we're not done!" Walk shouts at her.

"It was a joke, Walker Walker. I'll get it finished, okay?"

When the bell rings, Matteo and Walk head to the gym.

"Good call," Matteo tells Walk.

"What?" Walk asks.

"Inviting Kirsten."

"Oh, that. Sure. I knew all along she was our kind. I got an instinct for people. You just sit back and watch, man, just sit back and watch."

I'm emailing Walk. He doesn't have IM, plus he shares a computer with his mom so I can't write any weird jokes. "No butt jokes" is what he said. At least he has email. Matteo doesn't have email or a computer or anything. Who doesn't have a computer except for maybe if you're Amish?

"Kirsten?" My mom comes into my room with her bowl of air-popper popcorn. "Are you busy?"

"Sort of."

"What are you doing?"

I look up at her. She is trying to read the screen, which so far only says,
I am so

"Who are you emailing?" She pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"A friend."