If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (106 page)

I
don’t go on dates.

I haven’t had to since I’ve been here. I like to have fun. I like things to be easy and I usually like my girls the same way—
easy
. I can see through most girls, but this ones different. I’m not sure if I like it or not but I guess I do because I’m here with her. It’s the first time I’ve been around a girl that doesn’t look like she dressed up for me—that she tried at least. She’s still gorgeous; I don’t think she wouldn’t be if she tried. I haven’t been around a girl in a long time who didn’t have on a skirt that barely covered her ass, with tits on high alert. Even dressed how she is, she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. In the club, she looked different. There, she was playing dress up. This, I think, is the girl behind the mask. Or maybe I’m wrong. I’m pretty good at reading people but I read her wrong when I first saw her.

Something about her scares me. She seems innocent, breakable, and that terrifies the fuck out of me. I’m used to dealing with girls that have already been fucked up so it’s not on me. I hope I’m not fucking myself in this. I’m just going to make up for throwing her into the disaster I put her smack in the middle of. That’s it. She’ll feel better, I’ll feel better, and we can both move on. If only she didn’t look at me with those wide hazel eyes and that innocent smile. Fuck, I hope she’s not a virgin. Nah, she can’t be. I couldn’t see that douchebag she was with waiting on a virgin.

“Where are we going, Cal,” she asks nervously as we make our way to the bridge. I try to cover the wide smile growing on my face. Getting her on the back of my bike was difficult. When I tell her what we’re doing here, she might freak the hell out. I stop and turn to face her and take her hands. Her eyes widen and I ignore how my heart speeds up. She lets out a little sigh. I force my eyes away from her lips.They’re perfect and begging me to kiss them.

“How open-minded are you?” I ask her, closing the distance between us.

She looks at me skeptically. “You’re not taking me to a giant wilderness orgy are you?” she jokes. Huh, she’s funny.

“The next best thing,” I say with a laugh and she bites her thumb. I hope she stops doing stuff like that. It’s so damn sexy and I’m not going to sleep with her.

Fuck,
I am going to sleep with her.

“We’re going bungee-jumping,” I tell her reluctantly and her eyes widen.

“What?!” she says, snatching her hands from me. “No. No, I can’t.” She shakes her head,..

“Yes, you can,” I say, taking her hand again.

“Are you one of those people—uh, what do you call them?—adrenaline junkies?” She starts to laugh, holding her head in her hand.

“Something like that but it’s not bad. After you do it, you’ll feel like a different person,” I promise her.

She looks at me skeptically then past me. “This, this doesn’t look like an authorized site. Are we supposed to be doing this here?” she says nervously.

“Okay, so it’s not exactly authorized, but Jake here, is the man. I’ve jumped with him a dozen times. You won’t die. I promise you,” I say, trying to contain my laugh at the horrified look on her face. She lets out a deep sigh, and turns away from me.

She’ not going to do it.
Maybe bungee-jumping was a little too much but dinner and a movie? That’s boring as hell.

I walk closer to her and I hear her breath hitch. It’s a turn on like nothing else. “Afraid of trying something new?” I ask her as her eyes find mine and she looks into them like she’s trying to see what’s behind them. It’s unnerving and a thrilling rush all at once.

“Okay, let’s do it,” she says, walking past me towards Jake.

“Really?” I ask, surprised.

“I didn’t ride an hour on the back of that death machine to sit and watch you have all the fun,” she says, nudging me.

There’s more to this girl than I thought.

“Only thing is, I get to go first,” she says nervously.

“You’re kind of a boss aren’t you, Lauren?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “I better survive,” she mutters.

“You’re in good hands,” Jake says as we approach him. He turns to me. “C. Scott, and who is this cute little thing?”

“This cute little thing’s name is Lauren,” she answers before I can. I smirk at Jake who throws his hands up.

“Feisty?” he quips.

“So you know what you’re doing right?” she asks as he picks up the restraint.

“I haven’t killed this guy yet,” he answers.

“Who’s going first?” he asks. As Lauren steps closer to the edge of the bridge, her eyes widen.

“She is,” I pipe in and Jake gives me a knowing smile.

“I am,” she says quietly, shooting me a nervous glance.

It only takes Jake a few minutes to suit her up. “You’re awfully quiet, feisty,” he says.

“I’m praying,” she says with a light chuckle.

“It’s funny how spiritual people get before doing this,” he jokes.

“How many times have you done this?” she asks, after turning to face me.

“Twelve,” I answer and her eyes bug out of her head. “It’s not as fun as skydiving,” I tell her and she looks at me in disbelief.

“The first of the month, he’s usually out here,” Jake chimes in.

“Do you try to scare all your dates half to death?”

“Feisty, you’re the first,” Jake says, giving her a pat on the back. I shoot him a warning glare.

“So I’m the lucky one, huh?” she asks, nodding her head and I give her a wink.

“Are you ready?” Jake asks and I watch as the color literally drains from her face.

“No. But let’s do this,” she says as confidently as she can.

“You’ve got this,” I tell her as she walks to her jumping point.

Jake stands behind her. “Hold out your arms and take a deep breath.”

I can feel my heart pounding, remembering my first jump. After that, I felt like I was better than
him
. That I could do anything. She does as he says, and I can hear how much air she’s sucking in.

“I’m going to count to five and then you’re going to jump okay,” Jake tells her and I can see she’s shaking.

“Kiss for good luck?” I ask her to relieve some tension.

“I’m not so sure what type of luck you are for me yet,” she says nervously.

“One two, three, four…any last words?” Jake asks.

“If this goes wrong and I die, I’m haunting both of you,” and with that, she sucks in one last breath, closes her eyes, and jumps.

“I thought she’d be a staller,” Jake says as we watch her soar through the air, her screams echoing.

My phone rings. It’s Dexter. You’d think someone with as much money as he has would find more to do than call me all the damn time.

“What’s up Dexter?”

“Gwen has called me about a thousand and one times this week.”

“That’s nothing new.”

“I’m unsure as to why you won’t speak with her from what you’ve disclosed to me I see no r—”

“I’ll talk to her when I have something to say to her. Right now there’s nothing,” I say plainly, waiting to hear his disapproving huff.

“Helen will be back in town this week. Will you be able to see her?” he asks and I roll my eyes.

“I have the meeting with the Luxe brothers,”

“Well, this is a little more important wouldn’t you say?”

“Sure, whatever. I’ll give you a call back. I’m on date right now, I think it’s rude to stay on the phone during it.”

“You’re on a date?” He sounds skeptical. “Since when do you date?”

I laugh. “Since I felt like it.”

“Since when do you
feel
?” he asks wryly.

“Funny. I’ll talk to you later Dexter. Always a pleasure,” I say, hanging up just as Lauren has been pulled up.

“You survived, feisty. I’m a little sad you won’t be haunting me tonight,” Jake flirts.

“Hey watch it,” I say, warning him. He throws his hands up in mock surrender.

“Oh, my God! That was insane!” she says excitedly as Jake starts to help her remove her safety gear.

“I’ve got it,” I tell him. He frowns but wisely backs off.

“Good insane or…?” I ask her hesitantly but, from the excitement in her face, I already know the answer.

“Amazingly insane. I can’t believe I did that! I’ve never done anything like that before. I just jumped off a bridge and survived!”

“And you jumped without stalling. Not a lot of people do that,” I admit as I free her from her harness.

“Did you stall? Your first time, that is?”

“What do you think?” I ask her curiously and she takes a moment as if she’s really thinking. “No. You seem to do things without thinking first,” she says and I chuckle.

“Is that a good or bad thing?” I ask skeptically and, for the first time since she’s jumped, she looks away shyly before meeting my eyes.

“It can be both,” her reply is quiet.

I want to kiss her, right here right now. Usually, I would but 
I’m
 the one stalling now. Which is strange because I’m not a staller. I don’t think; I just do. But something about her makes me stop and think and I’m not sure what to do with her. I’m not used to being in this territory. The reason why I’m even here is foreign to me. I don’t do this. I don’t rescue girls from assholes. I
am
the asshole—well, not as big as some of them are. I don’t think back on the damage I’ve done. I definitely don’t think about fixing it. I don’t even date; yet, here I am. Smack dab in the middle of a date with a girl who is too beautiful to not want to sleep with, that has eyes that make you not want to look away but makes you stare. She gives me a conscience—one I’m not used to having, one that I prefer to block out. That’s a bridge I don’t want to cross. She’s more than tempting, she’s dangerous.

And fuck, if danger isn’t my thing.

W
hen Cal finally decides to waltz back in, it’s with a bag of groceries. He glances over at me sitting on the couch, the TV on as a distraction. I want to bombard him with questions as soon as he walks through the door but of course that would be the dumbest thing to do and the very thing that will get me no answers. He brought me here for a reason. I know he loves me; he
has
to. I have to give him time, but how much time?

“Are you going to put some of those cooking lessons to use?” he asks, setting the bag on the table before disappearing into the bedroom. How much does Cal know, what does he see? Does he know everything that happens with Chris? I head to the counter and see that there is a carton of apple juice, eggs, bacon, two steaks, three potatoes and a bag of spinach. If he was Chris, this definitely wouldn’t be enough food.

I start to wonder how long we’re going to be here. For a day? Several? I trust that Caylen is fine with the Scotts but she should be with us…shouldn’t she? When she is with us, how does this work? Is he going to tell her he’s Cal and what will happen if Chris comes back? What happens as she gets older? Does she live with two dads? Do I become the woman with two husbands?

“You’re thinking too much,” his voice interrupts me from my trance. I try to read him. What’s his mood?

He’s a blank canvas.

“I try to keep my thoughts to myself these days. It seems to work out better for everyone,” I say quietly as I move past him to the sink to wash my hands. He leans back so that he can look at my face. His stare sends chills down my spine. He still has the ability to look at me and unnerve my thoughts, to unhinge my anger.

“I’ve been told that can cause serious problems,” he says and I try to stop myself from laughing. I feel him behind me, his chest pressing against my back. I close my eyes and think about how we were before, before all of this. When we were just us. He presses closer against me as his hands move on both sides of me and he washes his hands.

I’ve made up my mind. I won’t give him my body if he won’t give me the truth. He has my heart but I can at least deny him my physical self, no matter how difficult it is.

I move away from him and search through the drawers for the utensils we need. Without missing a beat, he’s pulls out a skillet and bowl. It’s quiet, eerily quiet, despite unspoken words blaring between us. I don’t think we have ever gone this long without talking to the other, unless one of us was pissed off. I don’t think he is. However, I am pissed, but more than anything, I’m hurt and still off-balance from everything that’s happened. Questions upon questions, unsolved mysteries, disconnected theories that want to burst out of me. I don’t voice them, though. I keep them confined in the pit of my stomach but they swirl around as dinner starts.