If Only (12 page)

If she could have one wish for this holiday season, it would be simply that she could spend the rest of her Christmases with the only man she had ever really loved. That was the one thing she really wanted for herself, the only thing she wanted from Santa Claus this year. Hopefully, she had been a good enough girl to get what she was longing for. For this man to love her and be with her for the rest of her life.

“That’s a gorgeous blue spruce,” Scott commented as he watched her. He cleared his throat, causing her to finally look up and meet his gaze. “So what do you think?”

Bree stared at her husband, embarrassed to realize he had asked her a question, and she had no idea what it had been. “What?” she asked, frowning.

Instead of speaking, he reached for her, drawing her into the protection of his loving embrace. She inhaled, breathing in the musky scent of his aftershave with a small smile upon her lips. She could feel his warm breath caressing her cool skin, and she closed her eyes with a happy sigh. It had been so long since she had felt this safe. If only this man could be hers forever. She shivered as she recalled what had happened the previous evening to Susan.

He closed his arms tighter around her shaking frame when she shivered, and she burrowed her auburn head against his chiseled chest.

His grip tightened around her waist, causing Bree to flinch involuntarily. “What the hell did that sorry bastard do to you?” he questioned.

She didn’t even have to ask who he was talking about; they both knew who he meant. Taking a shaky breath, she wondered what she should say to him. She supposed it was only natural for her husband to wonder about her other life, especially now that he had gotten a glimpse of what she had had to live with for so long. But she had been reliving those horrors all morning, and the last thing she felt like doing was discussing them with Scott. All she really wanted to do was close her eyes and do her best to forget all about those painful memories.

Bree wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his face down to meet hers, her soft lips coming up to entwine with his. He groaned as her mouth opened, and she slipped her tongue into his waiting mouth. Her fingertips brushed against the nape of his neck, her fingers threading through his dark brown hair.

Pulling away from his kiss, she smiled a secret smile. “Nothing you can’t help me to forget,” she whispered.

Her fingernails stroked down the length of his face, caressing the hard planes with her tender touch.

“How about we hurry up and pick out a tree?” she purred seductively, tracing a path down Scott’s chest. “I want to rush home and make mad, passionate love to my husband,” she confessed with a naughty grin.

Her fingertips trailed down the expanse of his chest. The sensual heat in her green gaze was unmistakable.

Bree watched with dismay as a boyish grin spread across Scott’s face. She knew she had been figured out. This man knew her way too well. She sighed as she placed her hands onto her hips, her gaze challenging.

He cupped her face in his hands. “You’re trying to change the subject,” he accused with a look of amusement. “And it’s not going to work,” he warned as he tweaked her nose with affection.

“Want to bet?” she challenged as her hands roamed inside his leather bomber jacket and rubbed against his chest. His tortured groan gave Bree an amazing sense of power. In that moment, she felt as though she could do anything.
Who needs a man to slay dragons for me when I can slay them myself? I am woman, hear me roar!

“You were saying?” she questioned, running her fingers through his tousled brown hair. She was just beginning to get warmed up, and he was already chomping at the bit. Sometimes men could be so easy.

His chocolate brown eyes met her gaze with concern, and Bree felt as though he could see right through her charade. She bit on her lower lip as she removed her hands from his chest and dropped them down to her sides.

Bree angrily kicked a pile of snow as she plunged her hands deep into the pockets of her coat. She was letting this problem between Susan and Bryan get to her when all she wanted to do was forget about it. She sighed as she stared at Scott out of the corner of her eye. Why couldn’t he understand? Instead of constantly reliving her past, she was doing her damnedest to leave it all behind her. She wanted to completely forget she had ever been married to Bryan Sexton. The very thought of him left a bad taste in her mouth. Scott was only bringing up memories she had been trying to forget.

She watched her husband with a heavy heart. She wished she could break down and talk to him, but it was just too painful. And what if he didn’t believe her? She didn’t know what she would do if Scott once again looked at her as though she had lost her mind.

*

Scott realized with a sudden sense of clarity that she was attempting to shut him out. And if he had hurt her when he had done the same thing, even half as much as she was hurting him right now, then he understood what Bree had meant. It was difficult to love someone so much and to see them being ripped apart inside, and not want to try and help.

He just wanted to help her get past the pain. She was his wife and the love of his life, but she refused to let him in.

He sighed with obvious frustration as he plunged his hands deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. He wouldn’t be like that monster and force Bree to do whatever he wanted her to do. He would simply leave and give her the space she seemed to desperately need. Even though it was difficult to turn his back on her, that was exactly what he did. He turned on his heel and walked away from his wife, and he felt as though he was dying a thousand deaths as he did so.

*

Her green gaze began to waver as tears filled her eyes. Damn these hormones. She quickly wiped several tears away, but no sooner than she did, her eyes filled up once again. She had wanted her space so he had voluntarily given it to her. She should be thankful. Her husband was no longer badgering her with questions about an extremely painful part of her life. She knew he was simply concerned; it showed in each and every move he made, and she loved him for it. This was just a part of her life and her past that she wasn’t comfortable talking about. Not yet, anyway.

Bree was distracted by the elderly man waving both hands in her direction. A slow smile spread across her face when she recognized dear Mr. Hampton, the owner of the Christmas tree farm. The old man and his wife had been selling Christmas trees at this location for as long as she could remember.

When Mrs. Hampton had died a few years ago, everyone in town had been afraid the new widower would sell to the first available buyer. In fact, several offers had been made on the property, but Mr. Hampton had refused every one. Seeing how there was no other place in town to buy a Christmas tree, the entire town had been overjoyed by his decision. To show their support, several of the local townspeople volunteered their services free of charge this time of year, since the elderly man had no family living nearby to help him.

“Hello, Mr. Hampton,” Bree said warmly.

The old man had a mischievous twinkle in his kind blue eyes as he adjusted his bifocals. “You sure are a sight for sore eyes, my dear.”

She laughed as she grasped the elderly gentleman’s hand. “It’s so good to see you,” she gushed. “It seems as though it’s been forever since I last saw you.”

The old man looked at her in confusion. “I just saw you a couple of weeks ago, don’t you remember? You and Scott were at the movie theater here in town.”

She cleared her throat as she ran her fingers through her windblown hair. “Of course,” she murmured. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You’re probably just a little bit distracted. With the two of you expecting and all.”

“How did you hear about that?” Bree questioned. “We haven’t said anything to anybody but Scott’s family.”

“Are you kidding?” The man chuckled as he took a handkerchief out of his pocket and removed his bifocals, cleaning the lenses with one hand. “Your mother-in-law has been telling anyone who will listen. Just between you and me,” he murmured as he leaned to whisper into her ear, “she has been seen in numerous stores in town, baby-shopping.”

A grin spread across Bree’s face as she imagined her dear mother-in-law doing just that. It was hard to keep secrets in a small town; she was sometimes amazed anyone ever tried. She bowed her head to whisper to the kindly man. “It will be our little secret,” she agreed. “Have you seen where Scott disappeared to?” she asked, looking around the nearly empty lot.

“He headed around toward the back five or ten minutes ago. He looked upset about something. I was afraid the two of you might have had a row.”

She couldn’t help but grin at the terminology the old man used. A row. Not a fight, or an argument, or even a disagreement. The word he used was “row.”

“Could you do a favor for me?” she questioned as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to ward off the chill in the evening air.

She laughed out loud when the little man gave her a gentleman-like bow.

“I could never say no to a pretty lady,” he declared with a charming grin.

Bree gave him a secretive wink as she placed a reassuring hand on his gaunt shoulder. “Hold on to that gorgeous blue spruce for me for a few minutes, please. I have to go scare up my husband.”

“You go ahead and do that. I shall guard it with my very life,” he stated dramatically with a twinkle in his eye.

She grinned and gave the old man a friendly hug. “I certainly don’t expect that.”

“Now go on with you!” Mr. Hampton exclaimed as Bree blew him a kiss. She was laughing as she turned and headed out the entrance of the tree farm.

She spotted her husband immediately. He was leaning against the hood of their vehicle, angrily kicking at the fallen snow on the ground.

“Now what did that snow ever do to you?” She teased as she approached him. A shiver rushed up and down her spine, and she forced herself to continue walking. She had to keep reminding herself under her breath that Scott wasn’t Bryan. He may be terribly angry with her, but he would never hurt her. But still, she felt afraid. She just couldn’t seem to stop herself.

She took a deep breath as she gazed into angry brown eyes. “You disappeared on me,” she accused with an embarrassed smile. She crossed her arms against her chest, and Scott could make out the slight shape that was their child.

“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” he grumbled, walking past her, heading for the entrance.

She couldn’t believe this. He was purposely ignoring her! If he thought she was just going to stand there and not say a single word, he had another thing coming. She grabbed him by the arm, clearly catching him off guard. “Just where do you think you’re going?” she demanded.

He was quiet for a couple of minutes, but her steady stare was nearly his undoing. She was mad, and to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t blame her. He removed himself from her grip, his eyes meeting hers. “We can talk about this when we get home,” he repeated. “It’s freezing cold out here, and this can’t be good for either you or the baby.”

“You stalk out here like a bear with a sore paw, you get me all riled up, and now you decide to worry about the baby? Don’t worry; the baby’s fine. But now I am mad as hell. You are being a complete and total jackass!”

Suddenly, her husband let out a good belly laugh. Which just seemed to rile her all the more. “What’s the problem now?” she demanded, her green gaze glacial.

“You’re just so damn cute when you’re mad,” Scott explained as the corners of his mouth began to twitch at her expense. “God, how I love you,” he confessed.

Bree stomped her foot in agitation. “Oh, why did you have to come out and say that? I was getting in the mood for a good row, as Mr. Hampton called it.” Her lips curled into a smile. He walked over to give her a hug, but she quickly sidestepped and then shoved him away. “Go snuggle up to someone else, you big jerk!”

Scott entwined his fingers through hers, and she sighed. “What am I going to do with you?” she asked as his arms came up and wound themselves around her.

“Just love me, darling,” he said as he buried his face into the curve of her neck. “Just love me.”

“Sometimes I would rather just slug you,” she confessed with a grin as she tugged affectionately on his hair. Bree sighed as she settled her auburn head against his chest. “I am so ready to go home,” she murmured as she laced her fingertips through Scott’s. She looked up at him, a secretive smile playing on her lips. “There is a certain blue spruce being held for us by Mr. Hampton. What do you say we run in and pay for it, and then…” she broke off as her fingers stroked the sides of his face.

Her face broke into a smile as she continued, “We can go home and you could light a fire in the fireplace.” Her lips came up and began trailing a path beginning just behind Scott’s left ear, leaving soft kisses leading all the way down the length of his neck. She couldn’t help but grin to herself when she heard her husband groan at her ministrations.

“And then,” she continued with a chuckle as her fingers brushed against his chest. Her emerald green gaze met his chocolate brown stare. “I’m all yours, big boy.” She teased. “But I do think you should know one thing,” she commented with a secretive smile.

“What’s that?” he questioned with a tortured groan.

Bree looked around just to make sure no one could overhear their conversation. Then she turned to face Scott with a grin on her beautiful face. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” she whispered matter-of-factly.

“Damn,” he muttered as his dark eyes roamed hungrily down the long length of his wife’s body. He immediately began to feel his body beginning to harden, even though the temperature outside was almost chilling him to the bone.

She giggled as she grabbed the rough material of his shirt. Tugging on the fabric, her lips grazing the delicate shell of his ear, she challenged, “Race you to the car.”

With those words, she took off, leaving Scott standing there, simply gaping after her. “No fair!” he yelled as his long and lean body ran after her in hot pursuit.