If the Dress Fits (21 page)

‘Ready?’

‘Ready,’ Callie nodded as her heart hammered out a rock anthem of its own.

The first thing she planned on doing was congratulating the whole band on a fantastic performance, but a close second would be delivering a heartfelt apology to Theo for her inexcusable absence from his life over the last three years. She also wanted to slide into the conversation a question about his inspiration for the ballad he’d performed for the first time that night.

She wiped her palms down her thighs, inhaled a steadying breath and plastered a smile on her lips. She was so nervous her thoughts began to spiral away from her so she mustered every last ounce of her courage and pushed open the door.

The dressing room was packed wall-to-wall with a congratulatory swarm. Men in designer suits and dark glasses, a bunch of wardrobe and make-up girls, and the guy they’d seen on stage holding the clipboard had all crammed into the room to offer their individual congratulations. There was also a coterie of giggling fans, who’d been lucky enough to win tickets to meet their idols after the show, pressing their lithe bodies around the band members.

She could see Rick and Serge lounging on a pair of leather swivel chairs, holding bottles of champagne to their lips as a crowd hustled them for an autograph. Archie had been backed into a corner by a group of girls handing over cellophane-wrapped roses and teddy bears clutching red hearts.

‘Any sign of Theo?’ whispered Nessa, twisting from left to right on her tiptoes as she tried to see over the heads of the crowd in front of her, unable to make any headway into the room.

‘If it’s Theo Drake you’re after, girls, you’ll have to take your place in the queue,’ smirked one of the entourage, shoving his thumb over his shoulder. ‘It’s like this all the time, especially for Theo. Crazy, but, well, he
is
the lead singer. I suppose he has to get special treatment. And anyway, he loves it!’

Callie’s joyful smile melted from her lips to be replaced by a grimace of horror. Through the tightly packed throng she could just glimpse Theo lounging in his own swivel chair, his snakeskin boots propped up on the dressing table with a bottle of Moet in one hand and a red rose clasped between his teeth as he signed a fan’s autograph book with a flourish. She watched as he drew in a mouthful of the bubbles, swallowed and ran the tip of his tongue over his lips in a familiar, yet for Callie shockingly intimate, gesture.

She endured a wave of nausea so strong she felt it breach the back of her throat. A concrete block took up residence in her chest and her heart rate quickened. She felt threatened. The mass of warm, undulating bodies packed so tightly together made her feel light-headed. Could she do this? Could she stand by and watch Theo become the object of such adulation night after night? Loitering in the background like a spare part, an object of pity, the discarded girlfriend hanging on to her boyfriend for dear life? Or worse, battling against the assumption that she was simply following in his wake in the hope that a little of his stardust would fall onto her shoulders?

Had she made the right choice in coming to the concert tonight? Clearly she had been naive at the very least in her anticipation that Theo would be waiting for her – and her alone – in his dressing room. Heat filled her cheeks when she acknowledged that she had hoped, after their kiss in the ballroom at Harewood House, that tonight would be the first step on the journey to rekindling their relationship. How could she have been so foolish? Nothing had changed – nothing at all – so why did she think this time around things would be different? Theo was even more successful now than he had been three years ago, with thousands more fans demanding a slice of his attention. She still craved success for Callie-Louise and was even running an additional branch of the shop! They both had more demands on their time than they had ever had before. It was almost inevitable that if they pursued a long-distance relationship, just like before, it would end in betrayal as they sought solace in other avenues. She couldn’t put herself through that pain again.

She turned to Nessa, parted her lips to say something, but no words arrived. She slipped back into the dimly lit corridor, annoyed by the intensity of the spasm of jealousy the tableau in the dressing room had aroused in her. Her head told her that leaving was the right decision, despite the vehement objections raised by her heart. In fact, if she thought about it, she had so little time for socialising right now that it wouldn’t be fair to expect Theo to be happy with whatever crumbs she could spare him. She wasn’t in a position to prioritise a relationship at the moment. What on earth had she been thinking? The past was simply repeating itself – and their inevitable separation would be her fault once again.

As tears gathered along her lashes she determined to make as swift an exit as possible. But it was not to be. She chanced a final backward glance over her shoulder and caught Theo’s steel-grey eyes boring into hers. She saw him leap from his chair and plough his way through the crowd, almost knocking Archie to the ground in his determination to stall her escape and prevent a repeat of what had happened before.

‘Callie, wait!’

Theo caught up with her at the exit door of the theatre. He hooked his arm through hers and spun her round to face him. He nodded to the burly security guy who cracked open the door, checked their route was clear and guided them into the empty tour bus that was parked at the back of the venue. They fell into the front seats together, their presence obscured by blacked-out windows, as the security man stood guard at the door, nonchalantly smoking a cigarette.

‘Callie, I’m so sorry, that was a bit manic. It’s not always as bad as that. It’s this wedding fever that’s got everyone overexcited. Just let me finish signing autographs and posing for selfies and we can share one of those bottles of champagne.’

‘Theo, I’m not sure…’

She decided not to add that she had thought he’d promised to take her to dinner so they could talk. She stood and took a step towards the exit but Theo grabbed her by the waist and dragged her back into his arms. He held her tight to prevent her from walking away. His eyes delved into hers and she was surprised to see his lower lashes sparkling with tears.

‘Callie, you know that I’ve loved you since we were kids. I still love you. And there’s never been anyone else – you are all I care about. This distance between us is agony. Please, please, give me another chance to prove how much you mean to me.’

‘Theo…’

‘I wrote that song for you, you know that, don’t you? Every word, every syllable was crafted with the image of you firmly centre stage. I’ve reworked a few of the lyrics for Finn’s wedding, but it’s a homily of love from a man who prays every day that he can be reconciled with his one true love. Can we, Callie? Can we start again? I know you feel the same way I do.’ Theo’s eyes held a heartbreaking plea.

‘Theo…’

She felt her tears slide down her cheeks. Theo reached up, cupped her face with his palms and brushed them away with his thumbs. ‘I met my soulmate when I was thirteen years old and I’ve never stopped loving her since.’ His eyes bore deep into the crevices of her soul and she could feel his breath on her lashes.

‘How can we start again, Theo? Nothing has changed. We’re both still concentrating all our efforts on our careers. The demands on our time are heavy. It’s for the best, Theo – for both of us. I know how hard it is to walk away, but believe me it’s the right thing to do.’

‘It’s not the right thing to do! I know you; this is not what you want – what you really want. I can see it in your heart, feel it in your veins. Why are you always running away from your true feelings and forcing your head to rule over all of your decisions? Let your heart have a chance for once!’

Callie let that scorchingly delivered home truth pass. ‘We’re just not in the right place for a relationship to work right now, Theo. Callie-Louise will be busier than ever after the wedding and The Razorclaws will be booked for gigs all over Europe. I can’t bear to think of another girl winding her arms round the neck of my boyfriend whenever he’s away touring. It breaks my heart, but…’

‘Then come with me, Callie. Tour with the band. You know them almost as well as you know me and they love you. The fans will always be around. Whether I like it or not, they’re part of the tapestry of life as a musician. But they don’t mean anything. I’ve not had a date since we split, not a proper one, not one where all I wanted to do was kiss her until we were chucked out of the Fox and Hounds. You were the first person I ever kissed Callie, and no one else has ever come near to inducing the feelings I have for you.’

Theo’s mouth was inches from hers. Their eyes locked as he lowered his head and brushed her lips with his for the briefest of moments.

‘Theo, I can’t…’

‘Theo! There you are. Put her down and get your butt out here for an interview with the Channel 4 reporter. He’s been waiting for half an hour already. Where have you been? Theo?’

‘Okay, Martin, I’m on my way. Callie, I have to go. I’m sorry I can’t do dinner. I forgot that the band’s flying back to Germany tonight. Can we meet up for a drink before the wedding?’

‘Theo, I’m not sure it’s a good idea…’

‘Theo, darling, you’re needed.’ A blonde PR girl appeared at the door and hooked her arm proprietorially through his. ‘Come on. Everyone’s waiting.’

‘I’ll ring you.’ Theo made the sign of a phone with his fist as he was led away and Callie was finally able to make good her escape.

As she searched for Nessa in the theatre foyer she realised Theo was right – it had always been, and would always be, thus in the music industry. But that knowledge didn’t insulate her from the feelings of insecurity and mistrust it instilled in her. She knew she would never be able to get used to sharing Theo with a throng of screaming girls who would stop at nothing to get to their hero, nor did she want to. It hurt too much.

Anyway, that wasn’t the life she had worked so hard to achieve for herself. She had carved out her own successful career that she adored. How could Theo be so incredibly selfish as to ask her to go on tour with him?

No, sadly their lives were on diverging trajectories that it was too late to alter. She would just have to redouble her resolve and harden her traitorous heart to the potent effect Theo Drake had on her. She had no intention of meeting him for a drink and a ‘talk’ before the wedding. She acknowledged her decision was the coward’s route, but all her spare time and energy now had to be lavished on Callie-Louise and finalising the most spectacular gown possible for the wedding of the year. It was time to concentrate on her career dreams and spend some time at her boutique in Pimlico. Scarlet and Flora were doing an admirable job, but the shop was her responsibility.

She also had to work on forgetting Theo and moving on – and the only way she knew she could do that was by dating other people. She would start by asking Scarlet to set her up with the cousin she’d mentioned numerous times as an ideal date.

She spotted Nessa chatting animatedly to Harvey on the burgundy-carpeted steps. She smiled in response to her friend’s raised eyebrows and resolved there and then that she would put her head down and focus on her enduring passion for all things couture, not Theo.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Allthorpe village still possessed the power to lift Callie’s spirits and for that she was grateful. Warmth flooded her cheeks when she recalled the look of scepticism on Scarlet’s face when she’d made a feeble attempt at an excuse about checking stock levels at Gingerberry, jumped into her Mini Cooper and driven home to Yorkshire. She was desperate to put as much distance between herself and Theo as she could to garner the headspace – or more truthfully, the heart-space – she needed to process the aftermath of the Theo debacle.

Flora and Scarlet had rallied round, suggesting trips to the theatre, visits to the wine bar, even a day out at the Harry Potter Studios in an effort to divert her attention away from dwelling on Theo. She couldn’t even begin to come to terms with her resolution to move on until the wedding was out of the way and Lilac was safely on her honeymoon. Then she would think about dating. She’d seen a photo of Scarlet’s cousin on his Facebook page and, although he wasn’t really her type, she had to start somewhere. Anyway, she knew no one was going to be a perfect match because they weren’t Theo.

But he was in her past and she had to make sure he stayed there. However, it was proving a lot more difficult than she had expected. After the success of the concert, photographs of the band seemed to be appearing everywhere – even in the broadsheets. She struggled to focus on anything that did not relate to the battlefield her private life had become. So, the only alternative was to seek out a change of scenery and what better way than to go back to Allthorpe. This trip up to Yorkshire was exactly what she needed to put her life into perspective. Delia would regale her with her own brand of down-to-earth advice on the unpredictable ways of the world and Iris would no doubt add her two pennies’ worth.

She parked her car next to the village green and leaned her chin on the steering wheel. There was Gingerberry Yarns, the pretty bunting Marcia had hand-stitched draped across the window and the display festooned with samples of knitwear in rich, bold colours. A knot tightened in her stomach. She loved this village, but she loved Gingerberry Yarns more. Not just the shop – although that was sporting its Sunday best now – but the people who made it what it was. The place was a mixture of the foundations her mother and Hannah had built and what she, Delia and Marcia and all the Cupcakes & Couture ladies had subsequently added to bring it roaring into the twenty-first century. She knew in that moment with absolute certainty that there was no way she could contemplate letting it go. It was a part of her, of her life, of her roots. Selling it to someone else or, heaven forbid, closing it down was unthinkable. She would just have to promote Delia to manager and shuttle between the two shops, working 24/7 to make it work. Maybe Flora could help out, too? Perhaps she would even jump at the chance if it meant she could spend some quality time with Craig who had already driven down to London twice to take Flora to the ballet, and enjoyed a flight on the London Eye and a trip to the Harry Potter Studios in return. The pair were clearly smitten with each other and relocating Flora to Allthorpe was the perfect solution.