If We Dare to Dream (28 page)

Jamie nodded, carefully watching his sporadic actions. “When I moved back to Arizona I saw a story about the case.”

He noticed her slight defensive tone and smiled. “Yeah, too bad you couldn’t have been there when it first happened and saved Andrew a few years of his life.”

Jamie flushed but kept her chin high. “Had I known they were looking for me, I most certainly would have.”

Andrew frowned at Adam in warning. “Jamie did everything she could. I wouldn’t be here now without her excellent memory.”

Jamie sent him a thankful glance and swiftly changed the subject. “So Adam, I understand you’re recently home from overseas?”

 Skillfully flipping the knife, he caught it in his hand and returned to his plate. After cutting several more pieces, he looked up with a similar expression that Andrew bestowed on her a few times. That look gave her the chills for it was almost lifeless, cold and distant. “I’ve been in Iraq several times over the years. My last deployment lasted thirteen months.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry you’ve been away from your family so much. I’ve heard many mixed stories about the events over there.”

Andrew and Adam exchanged a look of brotherly understanding. Then Adam shrugged. “Don’t believe everything you read. There are good things happening over there and there are bad. Back home, the media and politicians spin it in the direction they want to take it, so it’s either all one way or the other.”

“That’s true,” Linda said from beside Jamie. “I just heard on the news about civilians being killed in great numbers, and then I read a story about some soldier coming home and saying how many schools they’ve built.”

“You never know, do you?” Jamie said.

“No you don’t. You can’t trust anyone because they all lie. Take a look at Andrew. He’s a perfect example.”

“Adam,” Andrew warned.

“No, this is my exact point,” he said hastily. Returning his attention to Jamie, he continued speaking. “So my brother spent nights completing raids to knock out bad guys and while building roads and schools during the day for civilians. Their payback was a planned ambush for his unit that nearly took his head off, and he’s still got the shrapnel in his neck and a huge scar on his face.”

Jamie stared at Andrew while Adam continued. Though she could tell Andrew was not happy, she could not deny that her curiosity was aroused. The hush at the table advised her Linda and Grandma’s were, too.

“He’s almost blind in his left eye because someone panicked during the attack. Some thanks, right?” He glanced at Andrew. “Hey Andrew, how many of your buddies died in that blast?”

Andrew’s silverware clattered to the table loudly, but he avoided her gaze and addressed his angry brother. “Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has their scars, Adam. Mine just happens to be more noticeable than others.”

Jamie clenched her hands in her lap to stifle the urge to run her fingers along his scar. In her opinion, it defined him and made him stand out from others, but apparently to him it was a reminder of a failure.

He was not a failure in her eyes.

“It was a mistake that cost you a career,” Adam sneered. “You’re just a civilian now.”

Andrew noticeably stiffened, and his voice was cold. “A civilian with a job.”

“Not as good of a job as you deserve, though.”

“Maybe if you’d been there when everything went down I’d be doing better now. You were there that night, too.”

Another hush fell in the room, and Jamie shifted in her seat. The tension was rising in the room and emanating from Andrew. She could see his grip on his eating utensils had grown so tight that his knuckles were white, but she had no idea what to say or do to help the situation. This tension had been going on for some time between the two men, long before she had arrived.

Adam’s mouth tightened, but he held his tongue.

“A career is a lot better than a life. Brad paid for his mistake in the worst possible way.”

“Thousands have,” Adam snapped. “For what? Nothing. What have we really accomplished?”

Thankfully, Arlene’s firm voice cut in. Just in time, Jamie thought nervously. “Enough of this depressing talk. You boys are home now, and I’d like to enjoy your good news instead of hashing up the terrible things you’ve seen.”

Linda smiled at Adam. “I’m so glad you’re here, Adam. You haven’t been home, and we’ve missed you.”

“It’s been too quiet,” Arlene said.

Sighing, Adam turned his attention away from Andrew and relaxed. Jamie noticed that Andrew did not. “I have time banked now. They made it possible for us to carry over any extra time, which is really cool for most of the guys. It’s supposed to expire, but I’m hoping his new policy will be extended. Most of the guys I know have kids, and they want to spend time with them.”

“Which reminds me,” Linda said. “How is that girl of yours… what was her name?”

Adam glanced down at his plate. “Gracia and I split up last spring.”

Her face crumbled. “I’m sorry. I was wondering why you didn’t bring her out to meet us.”

He jabbed violently at his dinner roll with the knife he had been toying with the entire meal. “I would’ve if she hadn’t run off.”

“I had hoped you’d have babies by now…” Linda’s voice trailed off wistfully.

Her point was made, though. The two ladies were not getting any younger. The brothers exchanged a glance as if accusing one another for not having a family. Adam’s attention turned to Jamie, who quickly glanced down under the guise of folding her silverware across her plate while Andrew hastily reached for his glass of water and took a large sip. His hasty gulp caused him to choke uncomfortably, and he held his napkin to his lips as he coughed.

The remainder of the dinner encouraged less intense conversation, focusing on Adam’s plan for his thirty day block leave. Andrew and Adam attempted to work out a plan for sharing Andrew’s truck, but Andrew now used his truck to get to his work sites, so it fell to Arlene to offer her vehicle. Jamie almost piped in and offered her car, but her fear of this on-edge brother of Andrew’s caused her to hold her tongue. This time she was going to trust her instincts.

While they discussed logistics, Jamie and Linda began clearing the table of their dishes. She smiled at Arlene as she scooped up her plate and silverware. “Thank you again for having me. It was one of the best meals I’ve had in a very long time.”

Arlene smiled. “I hope we’ll have plenty more with you.”

Jamie nodded and backed away from the table. “We’ll see.”

No sooner had Jamie and Linda begun rinsing the dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher than raised voices once again reached her ears. She glanced at Linda, but the older woman merely laughed nervously and continued rinsing.

“Is it always like this?”

“When they’re speaking, yes. They’re brothers.”

Jamie thought of her brothers and the relationships they shared. While sometimes Grady ended up bearing the brunt of her other brother’s mockery, they all remained cordial. There was something different about Adam. There was a lot of rage radiating from him.

“They’ve never gotten along?”

“When they were children, they got along very well. Andrew’s older by six years, and he always took really good care of Adam growing up. But Adam was pretty upset when Andrew joined the military. He felt as though he’d been abandoned by his brother the way his parents left him. As soon as he could, he enlisted as well, but he ended up in Iraq while Andrew was in prison and couldn’t follow in his brother’s footsteps. It was hard on both of them… Adam’s been through a lot, Jamie. He’s not completely recovered.”

“Recovered?”

“From the war. He came home the first time and told us about all the dead people he saw. He drank to ease the pain, but that didn’t help much. It stayed with him… Andrew too. Both boys had a hard time. But now Andrew seems to be doing better. He doesn’t have the nightmares he used to have.”

Jamie frowned in concern. Andrew had just mentioned that to her outside. “Is he jumpy like Adam?”

“Sometimes. He took to standing outside in the storms to deal with the thunder and lightning. It must have helped a little bit because he’s calmed quite a bit.” She winked at Jamie. “I think that you’ve kept him so busy he doesn’t have time for night terrors anymore. It’s awful quiet in his room nowadays.”

“Do you think that Adam will get better?’’

“I hope so, but his drinking and his temper are something fierce.”

Jamie glanced back to the doorway where the muffled voices seemed to grow in volume. She was fairly certain that there were more dishes to be cleared from the table, but she was reluctant to go back in the room. The last of the dishes were stacked in the dishwasher, and Linda shut the sink tap off. Suddenly the raised voices were clear, and she froze when she realized that she was the subject of their conversation.

“…So she got you out because you’re screwing her? Where did you find her? One of those prison pen pal lists?” The taunt came from Adam, and his voice carried a suggestive tone that made her distinctly uncomfortable. He followed up with a laugh. “I don’t really blame you, bro. She’s a nice piece of ass.”

She could not hear the low words that followed, but Adam’s response was palpable and cut her to the bone. “How can you hold her in such high regard when she let you rot in prison? You kiss her ass when she did nothing to stop what happened. If I were you, I’d kick her back to whatever rabbit hole she came out of before she screws you over again.”

She heard a scuffle next. What appeared to be silverware clattering onto a plate and a chair shoved back was explained just a few seconds later. Arlene’s strong voice echoed clearly into the kitchen.

“Adam, I will not have that language at my dinner table, and I will not have you insult our guest… Andrew, let your brother go.”

Silence reigned. Then there was the sound of more clattering plates. “I said
let him go
!”

Jamie backed away as quietly as she could and returned to Linda’s side. Wavering between sneaking out of the house without saying a word or coming up with a quick excuse, she finally turned to Linda. “I think I may finish up in here and get home. I have a bit of a drive.”

Linda smiled, but her eyes bore a look of sorrow that matched the feeling deep in Jamie’s stomach. “It does get a little loud, doesn’t it?”

“I feel as though I’m intruding,” Jamie admitted.

Reaching out, Linda patted her hand. “You’re not intruding. It’s just that Adam’s a little hard to handle sometimes.”

“I understand completely,” Jamie said. “At the same time, you certainly don’t need to entertain me when he has so much going on right now.”

“Oh, he’s always been like that. It’s just been a bit more pronounced since he went away. Please don’t let it affect your relationship with Andrew. He thinks so highly of you.”

“Of course not,” she stuttered. However, honestly she was not sure just then. Arlene and Linda seemed to have their hands full, and while she wanted to know more about this family she was associating with, now was definitely not the time to ask.

Silence had fallen in the dining room, a tentative silence. Jamie knew it would just be a matter of time before someone came out to check on her and Linda. She gathered up her bag and keys.

Linda smiled in understanding. “I’ll let them know you said goodbye.”

Jamie reached over and hugged the older woman. “Thank you for a marvelous dinner. I’m going home with a very full belly.”

“It was my pleasure,” Linda replied, beaming.

Slipping out the slider, Jamie made a quiet exit back to her car. Though she felt a twinge of guilt, interrupting a family argument did not seem appropriate either. By the time she pulled in her garage, she felt somewhat justified in leaving quietly. She was still stung that Adam would accuse her of something so terrible, but she tried to put it out of her mind. It should not matter what other people thought of her, but in a way it did. As she stripped out of her work clothes and turned on her shower, she wondered if Kit’s family thought the same. The idea was not only shocking but sad as well. The killer of their loved one was still out there, and it was not the gentle and honorable man she had come to care for. But at least the police had realized that and reopened the case to find him. She hoped they did soon.

The shower felt heavenly after the stressful evening, and she relaxed under the stream for a while before going about her normal nightly routine. The doorbell rang just as she finished leisurely towel-drying her hair. Frowning, she lowered the towel and cocked her head to listen, wondering who would be ringing her bell at that time of night.

It was not her imagination. Sure enough, the bell rang again, this time twice in a row. Setting aside her towel, Jamie tightened the knot of her bathrobe and padded to the front door. She was glad that she had left the outside light on, for when she peeked through the peephole the light illuminated George staring anxiously at the closed and locked screen door.

With a resigned sigh, she unlocked the door and pulled it open to greet the man she had gently let down a month ago. “What’s wrong, George? Is everything okay?”

He appeared out of breath and frazzled, something that was out of the ordinary for him. “I’m in a bit of a bind. I have to make brownies for Maggie’s class tomorrow, and I’ve run out of eggs. Do you have any that I can take?”